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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?      Home login  
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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 151
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

My idea is to blindfold her. She won't see anything. Maybe spin her around a few times to make her confused.

More emphasis on the blindfold -- and ear-plugs, so when she walks thru the house blindfolded, she won't hear his parents. :)

Then to keep her, put salt on her tail

Well, that is after all, our main goal as guys... and it does taste like salt, doesn't it? ;)
 RenewedVigor2018
Joined: 2/5/2018
Msg: 152
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 11:34:14 PM

My idea is to blindfold her.


Kinky.


Then to keep her, put salt on her tail


I think that went from kinky to tequila shots.
 RenewedVigor2018
Joined: 2/5/2018
Msg: 153
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 11:35:14 PM

What I do disagree on is this statement up here. I would say that applies to when it comes to settling in with a girl to have kids, when she isn't going to work. Not for mere dating.


Dependent on situation, yes, you have a point; however, i'm set in my ways and may be projecting that in my answer.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 154
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 11:52:11 AM

The few women I have managed to get a conversation from disappear after they ask if I have house

You living in your own place should be the only criteria.

When they ask "do you OWN a house" instead of "do you live by yourself?"...
... it makes me wonder of they're looking ahead in case they move in and "things didn't work out".
Common law, palimony, whatever... come into play after a couple of years in some places.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 155
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 12:54:08 PM

Dependent on situation, yes, you have a point; however, i'm set in my ways and may be projecting that in my answer.

Out of curiosity tho, "set in your ways" -- does that mean you don't think a guy should be dating at all, unless he can support not just himself & costs of dating fine, but to be able to afford a large(r) place to support himself, a gal, and ~2 kids?

I don't think that's at all necessary, although, if a guy's hellbent on getting hitched & knocking up the gal twice over, and his dating mindset is date-to-marry-or-bust [insert female here], then I would come close to what you're saying (have savings already built, living on his own comfortably; be in job position to be able to handle all that in 1-2 years).
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 156
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/10/2018 2:31:09 PM
If you have to "get women to do" anything, they're not compatible for you or your situation. Get your sh*t together first and then think about dating.
 oneofthefew13
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 157
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/10/2018 5:30:17 PM
Sure there may a woman or women out there that could look past your situation, but that's a needle in a haystack scenario. The reality is until you are out of your parents home and back living on your own, best case scenario is your chances are slim to none. I get it that things happen sometimes that forces our hand to do things we don't want to but have to, I do. Me personally I usually don't consider women who don't live on their own, but I have went out with a couple.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 158
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/15/2018 5:26:01 PM
say what you will, women want a guy that is at least financially viable. It is a click next medium and they will just pass you by. Once you are on your feet again and have something to offer then venture into the dating world but as it stands you will only get passed over I am afraid. We dont scoff at you due to your circumstances but really there is so much competition that you will only flounder at the moment. So "plan of attack" is futile. It is "past" and not "passed".. by the way.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 159
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/18/2018 8:32:58 AM
most women don't want guys for their money, they tend to want guys who can support themselves because if we want kids then we want them with someone who can look after them with us, or if we've had kids we don't want an adult baby to look after as well, and if we don't want kids we certainly don't want an adult child.

ideally you'd be with someone who matches your financial status so that when you want to do things together you have an idea of what is feasible and can do that and one of you isn't a financial burden on the other.

wanting to date someone to pass time because you have no money to do things to pass the time is pretty offensive tbh, i get why that would be appealing though as boredom is frustrating.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 160
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/19/2018 10:02:37 AM

most women don't want guys for their money

I think that brings up an honest question -- what is wanting a guy for their money? Many think they don't, when, ehhh, pretty much, yes. It doesn't mean that's the Only quality.

they tend to want guys who can support themselves because if we want kids then we want them with someone who can look after them with us

There's a difference between a guy being financially independent VS a gal wanting to be financially dependent on him. And what you're asking is for more than him being financially independent on his own -- heck, most guys want that in a gal, too. What you're saying is that you want to be able to be financially Dependent on him?

I would say wanting a guy for his money would be wanting a guy out of being financially Dependent on him in a pretty comfortable way (tastes/needs vary), as the main draw.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 161
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/19/2018 1:03:40 PM
when we don't want a guy for his money it means we can support ourselves and are not interested in mooching off anyone. the OP has literally nothing, and although there's nothing wrong with that and it's a shame his financial situation isn't different i do think not many people want to only do things for free. going out for drinks and meals is more usual than walks in the park these days and that's just the way it is. although he could maybe join free social stuff and meet people that way who are likely to be in similar circumstances, (meet ups or free classes). it might not be their only quality but these days it's a pretty important one when it comes to dating. although i'm not sure if OP said he can't afford to go out on dates and only said he can't afford his own place?

maternity pay can help with having kids, and women don't have to stay home with their kids any more. so no i'm not saying they have to depend on men for money but there's gonna be some expectation that he can help with that. although he also may not want kids so no big deal there.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 162
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/20/2018 12:59:34 AM
I would love to know what the OP requires from a potential date. What is he looking for in terms of looks, a job, her living situation, age, etc? What's his criteria?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 163
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/20/2018 1:12:56 AM

when we don't want a guy for his money it means we can support ourselves and are not interested in mooching off anyone.

I agree with the 2nd part (although one may define 'mooch' differently than others), but not the 1st. A gal can be able to support herself, but still want a guy for his $$. I think a gal who can't support herself is more apt to more want a guy for his $$.

going out for drinks and meals is more usual than walks in the park these days and that's just the way it is.

I agree. How unfair it is or not, it is what it is. A gal wanting all (or almost all) her dates bought & paid for by the guy doesn't necessarily mean she wants a guy for his $$ -- but she at least shows strong signs she's not Independent herself, once it's past the first few dates. And when it's the desire to not have to work while also going Up in financial status if she's low or middle class -- certainly "for his $$" becomes one of the main factors.

so no i'm not saying they have to depend on men for money but there's gonna be some expectation that he can help with that.

Basically, yeah, the guy -- like at least the first dates -- is wanted to provide the feeling that he Can be a safety net of some financial stability if times get tough, and he Can be someone to lean on, if need be. Sure. I think though, some gals may See it too much like that, when in reality, when the rubber meats the road -- it's more leaning on a guy for his $$... but since it's not being a gold-digger, she won't think it applies. But, sometimes I've had some talking and a gal has admitted it, "if you want to call it that way". They will bring up nostalgia and how grandma used to be, etc.

Kind of like the reasoning of wanting a Tall guy... Oh, no, it's not about looks, but Security. Same with money. Lots of security. Heaping spoonfuls! ;)

But in the end, yes, having a guy not being able to support himself like OP -- of course that's not wanting a guy for his $$ because said gal wouldn't want to date him in that position. That's apples & oranges.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 164
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/20/2018 7:48:32 AM
omfg typed out a long reply and lost it.....arg!!!!!!

most women i know stay within their 'status'. poorer women tend to not be on the internet as they just don't have time and haven't got into the habit of using it as time is a luxury the less money you have, they do have and they tend to meet people through work and neighbours because they have a bigger circle of real life people they know, outside of the internet. most of the women i know are fairly independent so my view is more biased that way too, it's rare i come across any woman that is not doing the majority of everything in a relationship and she basically has the option to become single because it is more beneficial to her and look for something more in their next partner or remain single.

but yeah i guess looking for a partner who is a good safety net is a fairly decent descriptor of what i meant, although i'd say they are looking for someone who can support them in other ways than money and someone more equivalent to themselves in many ways. but they're definitely not looking for someone who can hold them back.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 165
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/20/2018 11:19:49 PM
After being with someone for so long that could never keep a job and often didn't contribute to the household finances and didn't do his share of the housework or anything I now see how important it is for a man to have a good job and contribute. Maybe it seems like golddigging but until you've had someone leaching off you for years you have no idea. Any woman who has gotten together with someone who is a poor provider lives to regret it.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 166
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 3:31:25 PM
July storm, I hate to burst your bubble but some women don’t do their share of the housework either. I did most of the cooking and cleaning for my ex-wife while she sat on the couch watching TV. And not having a job doesn’t always mean that a person is lazy - they’re lazy if they don’t put effort into finding a job. I have more than one degree but as soon as I graduated university nobody would hire me and I was over-qualified to do less-skilled jobs.

OP, there are women out there in the situation as you are, you just have to find them. I’m talking to a girl on here now who lives with her dad and two nephews, but it’s not a problem for me because I can see she has career goals. And I just love the logic of the people who saw “Hoew fo you expect to get intimate with Mom and Dad in the next room?” We’ll, how do people get intimate with kids in the next room? What the hell’s the difference?
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 167
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 5:42:48 PM
Yes, but they are lazy if they can't keep a job and they do no housework and little of the childcare except when they absolutely have to. Stay-at-home parents should do most of the housework. I admit I'm very jealous of stay-at-home parents.

Most men want to be the provider. They want to make more money than the woman and they would rather the woman do more of the childcare. So women looking for men that can be a good provider and who makes more than them is not golddigging, its just being smart.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 168
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 6:27:49 PM
^^^Do you have any actual proof that most men want be the provider? I bet a lot more men would opt to be stay-at-home dads if women were more accepting of it. Being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job, as women have been saying for many years. Here in Canada it’s been accepted that women can be whatever they want but a man still has to be a man - we’re in a state of one-sided sexism.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 169
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:00:29 PM
Sorry, Kiss, I edited my post, now its below yours.

It's also about having patience, changing diapers all day, teaching the child things, being able to be alone with a child all day, many times without contact with other adults, etc.

I'm sorry to read how your wife treated you. It never seems cheaters are paired with each other, though I'm sure it happens. To me, there's no reason for cheating. A person should just leave. I was cheated on too!
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 170
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:05:13 PM
^^^ I’d be a stay-at-home Dad if given the opportunity. I am familiar how demanding cooking and household chores can be because I was the one doing the majority of these things for my ex-wife, and her way to thank me for this was to cheat on me with another man who couldn’t even make a sandwich.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 171
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:11:46 PM
Kiss, I've never known a man that wanted to stay home with his kids as opposed to working outside the home. It's no party staying at home for many reasons. I think of a gf whose daughter was obsessed with saying "five", all...day...long!☺ Who is keeping the men from staying home, besides themselves? Women tend to be the nuturers and make less money, so that can play into it also.

I see from your profile that you're on the spectrum. I had started a thread recently about that if anyone wanted to contribute, and make it more understandable to those that aren't or those that don't realize that they are. I read that you're doing a warehouse job, while you're very educated. I hope you can eventually get a job in the field you'd prefer! I hope a light hits the gloom on the gray🌹
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 172
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:19:46 PM
^^^Just because you don’t know any men who wanted to stay home with his kids as opposed to working doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 173
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How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:25:26 PM
I understand that. I just don't think men are typically lining themselves up for that job. A little bit, it goes against the nature of men. Btw I had edited my post as you were writing yours, above☺
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 174
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:43:57 PM
^Try not to think to hard on that NewYorker you would be wrong, you think men are fighting to have better visitation, more time with their kids or even seeing kids to do what? Save on some bullsh!t expense? No we enjoyed being with our kids and if the justice system was a little more equal and balanced a lot more ladies wouldn't have custody.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 175
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 3/26/2018 7:47:18 PM
New Yorker, I think it’s just what society has taught men - if they can’t provide, women won’t date them. The reason why women make less money than men is that women themselves choose lower-paying professions and women are less aggressive at asking bosses for raises. Men have been told if we can’t provide, we’re basically useless, so of course men are going to be more aggressive at finding out ways to make more money. I wanted to go into early childhood education, until I found out that it only pays minimum wage. Women in these types of professions can find men who are willing to help support them - men can’t.
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