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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Older woman younger manPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
aintnodeal

I dont think all younger women are so eager to please especially if they are hot. Many of them just lie there like starfish because their beauty should suffice, they think. I have spoken with a lot of younger men and they tell me this story a lot. MInd you they are probably not great lovers either.

Men want younger women because they smell and look sexy and fertile. They somehow think they are "the man" if they can attract the younger hotter woman that other men will envy.
Women are primarily judged on their looks and sexual attraction and a middle aged woman and older, however well preserved is not attractive to a a lot of men, both younger and older. She is past her breeding age and we are animals after all.
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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
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The Reign falls upon the vain in Spain
Posted: 4/16/2017 11:25:32 PM

oh well, my mother's advice to be a proper courtier kept me from getting laid when I was a kid :)

Dude, that sucks! :)

We'd like to think a lot of people are more focused on personality than appearance, but posts here and evidence elsewhere says otherwise.

I agree. Not that people are Blatantly lying to others -- moreso they're built to want to believe that more, and you're NOT supposed to say it's about looks to someone and strive for other reasons -- we start to believe it ourselves.

A fellow may also want to pursue the younger ladies, and the hens here will cluck as they usually do about his bald head and high expectation.

I agree with the "clucking" if said fellow has high Expectations -- as if he Deserves it (why aren't they writing me? what is wrong with them?!). But I Strongly disagree with any "clucking" by anyone who thinks it's BAD for an older guy to Want to pursue even a really Young gal. It's one thing to think one Deserves it, as they need to come back down to earth. It's another to merely say "Hey, I'm going to pursue in this direction too, and give it a real go." Hissing at the latter is really unfortunate. I can understand a "Good luck, that's out of your league," but then again, it doesn't take a big age gap to have a league-difference .... and league-differences happen (just lower batting average).
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 28
The Reign falls upon the vain in Spain
Posted: 4/17/2017 6:47:20 AM
at the time, I passed up opportunities thinking life was ahead of me and there'd be more. now with the "Benefit" of hindsight, I know opportunity lost is not opportunity replaced. *sigh*

I think we lie to ourselves and others that personality has far more weight than appearance, b/c we wish it was true for ourselves. We want to believe people will accept our personality, which we have far more control over than the genes we were born with. but, as animals, we are born to procreate and save the species. we can be a-holes and still raise kids.

I don't think there's anything wrong with bringing someone back to reality. well, as long as its done politely :) I had Easter Brunch yesterday with a 60 yr old female friend who focused on her crepe paper forearms and the silver roots in the part of her blonde hair. I bit my tongue and refused to point out her bosom is still fantastically amazing and no one notices any of the other things :)

"Haters" are nothing new, there's always been "nattering nabobs of negativity". its true, age gap isn't the only thing that can kick someone out of a league, my older friend could definitely get a free drink out of a younger guy if she tried (but with two STD's, she's removed herself from the dating pool forever and is turning into a "dog lady" rather than a cat one).

we work harder to get the objects that are just out of our reach...b/c to us, they are worth the effort. Like Jack Nichelson said of Helen Hunt's character in "As Good As It Gets"
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 29
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Older woman, younger man
Posted: 4/17/2017 10:16:33 AM

Msg. 32: I think we lie to ourselves and others that personality has far more weight than appearance, b/c we wish it was true for ourselves. We want to believe people will accept our personality, which we have far more control over than the genes we were born with. but, as animals, we are born to procreate and save the species.

I had Easter Brunch yesterday with a 60 yr old female friend who focused on her crepe paper forearms and the silver roots in the part of her blonde hair. I bit my tongue and refused to point out her bosom is still fantastically amazing and no one notices any of the other things

… we work harder to get the objects that are just out of our reach...b/c to us, they are worth the effort. Like Jack Nichelson said of Helen Hunt's character in "As Good As It Gets"

The more emotionally mature we get, the more personality matters and the less appearance matters.

Having said that, the appearance of good health is attractive, and, more often than not, the lack of it is a liability. For most of us, the ability to maintain or improve perceived fitness is within our power. It’s also within our power to become more attractive by dressing appropriately, practicing good hygiene, thinking well of ourselves, treating others with kindness, and focusing on the finer points of another’s personality.

On the contrary, if a man is focused on a woman’s “objects” (a fantastically amazing bosom, for example), then he’ll probably inspire women to focus on his “objects,” and not in a good way.

None of us can be attractive (in the romantic sense) to all people, but most of us have it within our power to be attractive to someone. And if we’re attractive to someone, it’s possible to improve ourselves to become more attractive to others.

You, GTO, are a thinker; you seem to be intelligent, articulate, and witty. You usually present a positive attitude and, in my opinion, you’re very likable. I sometimes wonder whether you’re thinking too much about how you and others look, and not enough about matters of the heart.

I’m not suggesting that you date someone you don’t find attractive. I’m suggesting that you consider how you might come to find more people attractive, and how you might become more attractive to a wider audience.

P.S. I hope you don’t mind that I used your post as a springboard for a discussion that applies to everyone, including me. :)
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 30
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/17/2017 1:08:47 PM

slender women 20 years younger than you will want you to pay for everything. The viagra must get a work out for sure.
I wouldnt want a 64 year old man no matter how young or old I am....lol!


Actually I am now dating a pretty lady who likes to treat me almost half the time. She will buy theater or movies tickets and set it up ahead with a restaurant to use her card. She is pretty darn (relatively) young, too. She has a five year old child and her mother is ten years younger than my ex-wife.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
Older woman, younger man
Posted: 4/17/2017 5:28:36 PM
Thanks, Kay. There are some obvious opportunities I overthink, like a coworker flirting with me or a drunk girl or a woman who is looking to have children (I never was). I think of where things with go next, and if I see drama, I avoid doing what will inevitably lead to an annoying situation. I think there are guys who don't worry about hooking up with a drunk girl and her waking up the next day to proclaim, "I didn't want this!" and thus they get together with someone...and there are maybe as many guys who do. There are people who hook up with coworkers and sometimes they get a trip to HR, other times not. and so on. some may overthink and some may underthink :)

out here at least, the people who focus more on personality than looks in a sexual partner, are either already married, or, well, um...not attractive enough, as you mentioned. I dated 4 of 'em, so I know, there has to be "something", a spark. Otherwise its just friend i'm committing physical sex with, but no desire to have it with them. most of my good friends in life were female friends, so I know a good personality can make someone your friend, but not always your lover. As it turns out, a lot of these women were having sex with men who were terrible boyfriends, and perhaps having me play the role of going to dinner with them and et cetera made it easier for them to have sex with the hot fellow and take me shopping and talking the next day.

I can be platonic with a woman i'm not attracted to. And my female friends can be platonically intimate with me, telling me things they won't tell others, etc. But it's a gap between platonic intimacy, and physical intimacy. Its easy to be platonic, when you're getting your sex someplace else :)

the problem with being more attractive to a wider audience, is you are less "you" and more like other people. The closer one may be to average, the more people they may find under the bell curve they share things in common.

I don't mind people using this as a springboard, I hope they would :) they may find something useful to them.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 32
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The Reign falls upon the vain in Spain
Posted: 4/18/2017 1:02:28 AM

I think we lie to ourselves and others that personality has far more weight than appearance, b/c we wish it was true for ourselves.

Totally agree. It's not just an age-related thing, either. Looks matter #1 compared to other things for all age brackets. Thinking that it doesn't and it's only for superficial people -- we'd be living a very different world. We want to believe more 'mature' attributes really draws good people in. Those can be deal-breakers too and have some importance of course, but it doesn't make it so that looks can't be a complete solid deal-breaker, no matter what all the attributes combined do in many circumstances. Looks also doesn't just include a great a$$/chest/arms/shoulders/etc, and only directly-sexual. Looking a certain way -- structurally, garners better social respect, too VS other ways one can look (which obviously amps up one's sexual/romantic draw).

its true, age gap isn't the only thing that can kick someone out of a league, my older friend could definitely get a free drink out of a younger guy if she tried

Well my main point was that you'll see people out of one's league -- a mismatch... "He/she could do better". That sort of thing, where most people wouldn't, but a certain % do. Age gap can happen. It doesn't require riches by the older person and a simulation-relationship or anything like that (although if one was up for that, yeah, it'd come easier to land those). Point is: All it is, is a statistical roadblock, in and of itself. And there's nothing unethical/immoral about desiring someone much younger, or positioning oneself to engage with those much younger. Like the conditioned belief that "looks mattering much is just for the superficial" is ego-protection, so is thinking that desiring or angling toward those much younger is bad, too. Don't get me wrong tho... Either concept CAN be bad when taken too far, where in the end what makes them think would make them happier, doesn't due to such a lack of success over-reaching -- more than "just out of our reach".

The more emotionally mature we get, the more personality matters and the less appearance matters.

In some basic ways that's true -- but it's not a universal thing. I know that when young, for some gals -- looks didn't matter so much. They were the most emotionally immature... very low self-esteem, could do so much better -- but wanting someone who was popular, had a fast car, had access to beer or pot or whatever, etc. You'll see some of that with older women too to some degree, but, as we age -- yeah, we come down to earth more. That's the trend. But looks still hold the most weight for almost anyone -- and again, looks isn't the pure, raw, instant, classical sexual allure concept in and of itself -- but I think it's more the appreciation of other attributes that's learned from experience & happiness... and combined with several years after young adulthood, people part ways, things get a little more lonely. That combined with another trend of we and our peers let ourselves go to some degree, our tastes tend to become more modest, too. I think the emotional Maturity thing is there -- but that's more like not being emotionally immature in relation to what we want... which people at 22 can end up getting to that point. I think it's more of ourselves changing in a lesser-looks direction with our tastes following, helped by the environment we're surrounded by changing as we get older.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 33
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/18/2017 7:16:33 AM

Why is it so difficult to find an attractive younger man ..........

!. Do the research for your area, by age gender and population within 75 miles.



............who wants to date and become friends.

2. I seriously doubt there is such a species alive. And if so, a rare breed.



99% of the younger men I am interested in only want to eff a MILF.

3. Congrats, it seems you have learned a lesson

"I prefer younger men...
but if you are older then 45,..................."

4.You are 54 ^ ^ ^ how much younger are you thinking?
YOU may prefer 10 years or more younger, but statistically you will discover there are a greater number of men, seeking a younger woman. I don't make the rules, just sayin'.

"...............then by all means,
do your best to WoW me. "
5. My advice is...............for best results............
It is you who needs to crank up the WOW factor, to catch the eye of a "Younger man".

For what it's worth, when I was looking to date, I did not set out to find AN AGE.
I looked for a man with compatibility, a shared interest, shared family values, being on the same page, with wants, needs, and desires. I am blessed to be with such a man.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 34
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/18/2017 10:51:04 AM
Well, when I was a younger man I was always attracted to older women, but in general they were far to smart to fall for my lines, and I definitely had the impression that women in general prefer an "older" man, although not much older when we are talking 30s and 40s. It was certainly true that younger women presented an easier target and as the years started to accumulate, it just became a lot less effort to go for the younger women.

I still have an eye for older women, however they generally appear to have lost a lot of interest in male relationships. They don't find the bother required to be worth it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/18/2017 2:42:55 PM
Back when I was 18, I got hit on by an older coworker. B/c my mom taught me that a man had to court a woman, no "Netflix and chill", I couldn't imagine how I could pay for college, an apartment, and date this older woman to the standards her peers could. now in hindsight, she could very well have been looking for Netflix and chill. Perhaps out there is a young man who thinks dating an older woman means steakhouse restaurant dates, not Taco Hell and coupons.

a young man who wants to be "Friends" with a woman? Yeah, I've tried that line :) Friends my ass. Most young bucks are still discovering what it means to be a man, and what the definition of "cool" is. "Friends" is something Facebook offers as an option. The best option for an older man or woman to find a younger partner (and that's typically a decade younger), is to seek out a person mature for their age. And then figure out where that person is hanging out (ie, likely not at the mall, or where its trendy for their peers to hang out. Someone mature for their age is probably hanging out with people our age). Like LiR said, don't look for an age, look for an attitude, and you'll have better results.

(or in my case, I look for big BQQBs, and everything else falls where it will. Pun intended with my peers, lol)

Seriously, tho, I think success is partially based on WHY we seek our partners. I don't need a person for money, a place to stay, happiness, stability, etc. I provide much of that for myself. So a partner who is broke, isn't as much a problem as it is for a gold digger seeking financial support. Someone who wants a younger partner in order to feel young, may automatically avoid a peer without giving that person a chance. I won't b/c I feel young on my own, not needing someone for that.

what I can't give myself is romance and sex. I can love and appreciate myself, but it would be nice to have an audience :) there's an old line, a woman tells her new date she just wants to be friends, and he replies with, "i already have enough friends." I could use more friends, but only GOOD ones. And listening to my female friends now talk about their sex life with everyone but me, well, that does get old fast.

it would be great to find one human who can be friend as well as lover. But most likely, I get one, or I (occaisionally) get the other, but not both. I suspect a large part of the population finds that to be true for them, too. judging from the stories I hear, they are willing to take the glass half full.
 AngryGroceries17
Joined: 1/9/2017
Msg: 36
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Posted: 4/19/2017 5:37:18 PM

99% of the younger men I am interested in only want to eff a MILF.

Yup. With the remaining 1% looking for a meal ticket.

Yes, Hollywood does have a poor opinion of older ladies, hence why most leading ladies are not Helen Mirren (too bad, she looks great).

Indeed as their box office draw is diminished. When you live by the sword then you eventually die by it. Do you ever hear women complain in their 20s when doors are opened because of their beauty?

Society is unfortunately patriachical not matriarchial, so its cruel in its stereotypes

Patriachical? Did you learn that term in women study classes and now sound off such regressive indoctrination in a feeble attempt to sound insightful?

slender women 20 years younger than you will want you to pay for everything. The viagra must get a work out for sure. I wouldnt want a 64 year old man no matter how young or old I am....lol!

Damn straight he has to pay for it directly or indirectly. But the cost of a peer would be no less so why not go for the newer model? As a matter of fact, the newer model might be a lower cost alternative as his Viagra consumption would all else being equal go down!
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 37
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Posted: 4/20/2017 6:57:13 AM
It may be a you thing OP, or where you live. I have been dating a man nine years younger and I know a few women who have younger significant others. If you are relying on OLD to find them, that may be your problem as well.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 38
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/20/2017 7:56:55 AM

Damn straight he has to pay for it directly or indirectly. But the cost of a peer would be no less so why not go for the newer model? As a matter of fact, the newer model might be a lower cost alternative as his Viagra consumption would all else being equal go down!


A physician friend told me this story about an older gentleman patient of his. The man had come to him for a prescription for Viagra to assist him in continuing to have sex with his wife. On a return visit the man told the doctor that his prescription was working to help him have sex with his wife. The physician then asked him if it was working with his mistress. The man replied he did not need it when having sex with his mistress.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 39
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Posted: 4/20/2017 1:57:34 PM
38? That would mean a man was closer in age to my children than myself. I can honestly say that doesn't hold any intrigue for me. In fact it is exactly the opposite.

But you know what? That is the great thing about people. We aren't all the same.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 40
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/20/2017 4:22:22 PM

38? That would mean a man was closer in age to my children than myself.

38 is closer to your children's age than your age (50)? That's a 12 year difference. WOW, you could have cleaned house on Maury Povich! You had your kids before puberty! :)

a young man who wants to be "Friends" with a woman? Yeah, I've tried that line :) Friends my ass.

Well, young man, old man, any-age-guy... :) I don't think that concept is age related - lol. I just think as we age we're more apt to run into the exception where they're like a sister, when it comes to 1-on-1 female friendships (which is what that's in reference to)... but in general, put a $100 bet down on any straight guy 20, 35, or 50 out with a cute gal as his 1-on-1 Friend on his main underlying motivation (even if he's fine with being just a friend). One would lose more than 9 out of 10 times, on any age, if they consistently bet he had Zero underlying sexual-attraction motivation from the get-go.

The best option for an older man or woman to find a younger partner (and that's typically a decade younger), is to seek out a person mature for their age.

I have my own natural bias that I have to correct myself on from time to time, in what I'm about to say... Something that's never questioned by society, and only pushed by society, is the false premise that younger-people-are-less-mature. There's definitely Some truth in that, but let me tell ya -- especially as one liking MILFs at a pretty young age with fair success, and gals of all ages of all different types, as well as 3rd-party observation -- it's not at all across the board. Tons of variance.

what I can't give myself is romance and sex.

I agree with the former, but the latter? Uhhh, "Yes You Can!" :)

but it would be nice to have an audience :)

Hmmm. Yeah, I admit -- if you're going to have sex in front of an audience, doing so by masturbation is more likely to bring negativity your way. Never got into public performances, though (either way).

I could use more friends, but only GOOD ones.

In all honesty, it's not so much for that, for being a (mere) friend... it's more like Not having Bad ones, IMO.

Well, when I was a younger man I was always attracted to older women, but in general they were far to smart to fall for my lines

I really never used canned lines. When using a line to mock a certain line (or I guess actually using lines), when put upon an older woman, I found it's fine. More flattery at least, even if they're not interested in-that-way.

I definitely had the impression that women in general prefer an "older" man, although not much older when we are talking 30s and 40s

Which I think is superstitious, brought on by upbringing... but over time, I have noticed that older women more and more prefer guys Not "older" in comparison to them, compared to yesteryear... but more open to guys who are a little older, than how much men are open to women who are a little older, when one's middle-aged. Other than that, I've much noticed attractive, at least somewhat outgoing women are More open to guys younger than they used to be. Which is great -- except when we (males) get older - lol.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 41
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Posted: 4/20/2017 4:32:39 PM

38? That would mean a man was closer in age to my children than myself.


38 is closer to your children's age than your age (50)? That's a 12 year difference. WOW, you could have cleaned house on Maury Povich! You had your kids before puberty! :)


50 (me) -38 (random man) = 12 year difference
38 (random man) -27 (oldest child) = 11 year difference
Yes - he would be closer in age to my son than to myself. Not sure what sort of math you were doing.
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 42
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/21/2017 12:06:16 PM
"Why is it so difficult to find an attractive younger man?"

Babe, I think you need to be realistic. A twenty year age difference is a lot. Besides, you would have to do something about your appearance if you want to attract younger beau's. Lose weight. Dress younger, sexier.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 43
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/21/2017 12:54:21 PM

Yes - he would be closer in age to my son than to myself. Not sure what sort of math you were doing.

Ahhhh, I misread. I was thinking you were closer to your son/daughter's age than he was. :)

But what's really weird is the comparison you're referring to. Sure, when you have children -- but you don't have any children! :) There are adults, your offspring, who used to be children way back in the day. It should be a comparison between you two only. Not a comparison of comparisons! :)

I mean, if someone had a kid @20 Way back in the day, and they're now 51 -- it'd be really weird for The reason to deny a 40 year old guy by saying/thinking "There's an 11 year difference between you and me. Why is that bad? Because there's a 9 year difference between you and my son. Which is less than 11. Thus, I can't be interested. Hey, if I had a kid at 22 instead, I'd be grabbing your #. Hey, is your older brother @42 available? He's kinda cute..." :)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 44
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Posted: 4/21/2017 1:14:04 PM
^^ I just don't have an interest in younger men. Period. It has never been an attraction for me. I would definitely have more in common with a man closer to my own age.

Like I said previously - we aren't all the same. We don't all like or dislike the same things. Our OP can have the youngsters and I would be thrilled to find a man my own age.
 besonder
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 45
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/22/2017 2:53:30 PM
When I lived n San Antonio, I got hit on by younger men ALL THE TIME. I am wise enough to know it was for strictly intimacy and not an LTR so I never bit. Not my job to teach the youngins the ropes or subject myself to STDs. On the other hand, most men prefer youth. It's an ego boost for the younger n the older them but generally, backfires in time. Hot chicks often have many options and upgrade often. If the man's older, desires youth and has money, she gets what she wants and moves on to a hot dude her own age. Besides older men may feel status with arm candy but in reality she just makes him look even older than what he is and quite desperate. They say, you get what you pay for and guys like that do.

My advice, even Demo could not keep Ashton. Just wait till a nice guy comes along who adores you and cares about having a LTR with you and only you. If you never meet him, don't ever settle for lee. Better to be alone than stuck with some F-Tard

Best regards....I too am still hopeful but not desperate by any stretch of the imagination.
 besonder
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 46
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Posted: 4/22/2017 2:56:59 PM
I disagree.

Young men find great pleasure in older women and are very eager to please and show off what they think they got and they love that mature women don't play games.

If it's just sex, I think men prefer older for NSA, if it's a week at spring break for NSA, younger is the ticket.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 47
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/23/2017 5:51:44 AM
Your profile says you looking for a guy young as 37.. idk maybe we should ID what is the age that makes someone the younger man or woman. Hugh Jackman has been wed forever to an older ( 14) woman, I am sure there are may/dec relationships that are great. I agree that it does make the older man look well, older when he is with someone same age as his daughter.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Posted: 4/23/2017 7:54:39 AM

Babe, I think you need to be realistic. A twenty year age difference is a lot. Besides, you would have to do something about your appearance if you want to attract younger beau's. Lose weight. Dress younger, sexier.


After all OP, you don't want to look like his mother...
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 49
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 3:53:20 AM
The only thing worse than that would be actually meeting his mom and she's the same age as you.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 50
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Posted: 4/24/2017 4:36:15 AM
Wow! The OP is feeling entitled, isn't she? :)))

She's the same age as me and yet I would swipe left without even bothering to glance at her profile. Why? Because she exudes the qualities of someone settling down into late middle age. I want someone still fresh and vibrant in mind and body. She isn't that. There are plenty of women in their fifties who are. A couple of years ago I dated someone seven years older than me. She didn't look or act it.

I guarantee that a man under 45 is only going to choose the OP if he's exhausted all of his other options. That's the plain truth of it. She needs to pitch her views towards 50 and upwards.
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