Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Older woman younger man      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Older woman younger manPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^^
Different people are attracted to different types. Just because you would not be interested does not mean that another (even younger) man wouldn't be. Who knows? I stopped trying to figure out why people go for what they go for a long time ago.

That being said people really need to be realistic. Someone else in the thread mentioned checking out the competition. Ugh. That is a sobering thing. When I reverse my search it is a real wake up call. If I am going to be honest I would but myself in the bottom quarter. That means I should be looking to date in that bottom quarter and well those blokes just don't do it for me. The struggle is real.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 52
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 8:04:59 AM
In my experience a FWB with a much older woman ( more than 10 years age difference ) can be good. It was more than sex. We had some common interests. We did hang out and do things together. However when the large difference is very large, people are more likely to have different long term goals which would make a serious LTR more difficult. Thus when I'm looking or a serious relationship, my general age range is about 10 years in either direction although I date a woman that was 12 years older than me.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 10:14:15 AM
Wow...in all the message boards I’ve been to, this subject always promises to deliver fireworks and this thread is living up to it. We’ve already had some sharp words, and I’ll be candid but try to be as respectful as I can.

To the OP, simply put, just from your pictures; delete/block, without reading anything. A close on Eharmony instantly. Reading your profile, including your mail settings, I ask, 'Are you serious ?’ To be sure, I lead the charge of: No regards to dating in 'your league,’ and 'whatever two legal consenting adults want to do, that is legal, have at it !’ That fact we don’t understand the 'mismatch,’ is not our business or our worry. When I read a profile like yours, and I see them from women here your age, I usually see a fitness model who would put to shame many women even half their age. I even saw one, on a model site, that lived in a town I used to live, she is now 61, yes, I would go out with her, and I’ve NEVER dated anyone older than me by ten years my senior in my life. We can’t show links here, but guys, trust me...your’d throw ALL your mail settings out the window (maybe some of the ladies too, lol).

Back to the OP, ditch the mail settings. Sure, keep, ‘looking for male’ and maybe distance settings. Out with the rest. Second, work on the profile. You email a guy, and if he’s curious enough to read your profile and sees all that, he’ll think it’s either a joke or you are so bitter you turned it into a joke...we all see that from time to time.

Just looking at your profile and the others that line the top of the page, found another lady, 50 and she, like you, appeared to be concentrating on younger, although she didn’t say. Her parameters were 39-55. She was fit and athletic and had the pics to back it up. But, her profile still read more conciliatory than yours did.

You know, we’ve heard that statement about collecting bees, more with honey than vinegar, but it’s true. Demands, instructions and ‘deal breakers’ are not inviting concepts on profiles. You can have ALL the restrictions and requirements that you want and nobody has to know about your private filtering. Be more general, fun and less restrictive on your profile. I don’t know if your goals will still be reachable, but maybe you haven’t challenged them enough. See more of the pool before you commit to something.
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 54
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 10:53:22 AM
This hunky boytoy just messaged me today.

He wants to be my dom... lmfao.

Flattered, but no.

However, If you are up for the challenge OP, then go for it.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=146201753&frommsg=1&msgid=59381567158
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 55
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 11:33:30 AM
Sigh...you people and your opinions about age and relationships....its just so fortunate that what you all say has no relationship to what actually goes on in real life. Its the same with Big Fish and his theories on relationships. Go out and get a life, experience reality, and realize that nothing in relationships is restricted by age, only by the people involved.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 56
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 5:10:17 PM
Are you saying lots of young guys wanna to be in a relationship with an older woman? And that the young women with the guy 25 years older than her doesn't have a pool boy?
Again. I repeat myself but
People see themselves as younger, better looking/ etc than they often are. Age is indeed a number, if it wasn't we would say we were Candy cigarettes and Jarts old.
We ask " how old are you?" Not how old do you wish you were
And No RG, I hear what ppl say when there is a huge age gap within the relationship.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 57
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/24/2017 7:34:05 PM
I think, or should I say, I actually believe one of the problems here is not the age difference but the difference in eras/timeline of growth.

As in, when men and women my age where, 20, things were MUCH different than what a 20 year old is doing/dealing with right now. 20 was 36 years ago for me. In that 36 years, things have changed and are very different.



I would have thought by the age of 38 and older, men would have figured
out that companionship and friendship contribute to fantastic sex.


The OP is comparing, in her head, what she thinks a "38 year old" should know or understand "stuff" about companionship, friendship and the sex. Well, maybe 18 years ago, they would have. Today????? I don't know if they have. Different periods of time, different expectations of growth, and different ways that growth is accomplished.

Just the topic of sex of today, when comparing to the subject, back "when" can be and is, mind boggling. Living together, in sin???? Same sex marriages????? Open relationships???? Couples inviting different people into the bedroom????? The acceptance of bisexuality itself? We could go on and on, couldn't we????? As I quoted the OP, she believes that "companionship and friendship" contribute to "fantastic sex". Again, maybe it's still true today but, I really don't think it's AS true, as it WAS back when.

If you really want to think about "eye opening" us older folks could talk about the evolution of sex toys to drive this point home. (didn't type that last line on purpose,,,,, at least I don't think so!!! ;) )
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 12:11:50 AM

^^ I just don't have an interest in younger men. Period. It has never been an attraction for me. I would definitely have more in common with a man closer to my own age.

Well, not closer to your own age -- but as old or older than you, right? I think the thing in question is -- what one's using as a baseline. Using one's oldest mature adult son/daughter and one's own age in comparison is what I was 'huh?' about. I can understand if they're just Like one of one's sons (even if not in their generation at all), or just Like an ex -- or a variety of other things too that'd rub one the wrong way. But if there's not any a social generational gap, I don't see how that should be an issue. If I ended up having a daughter at 20, and at 41 start dating a 30 year old gal, and got freaked out that she was technically closer to the daughter's age by raw numbers despite a Big Social Gap -- then I'd be going by "age is Only a number" affecting me negatively emotionally (and unnecessarily). I do think though, not even about dating, that when many people get older (my generation included), they are far too quick to assume those notably younger are immature, etc. That concept's never criticized, really.

The only thing worse than that would be actually meeting his mom and she's the same age as you.

Yeah, I could see that being weird. "Hey! Sarah! I haven't seen you since high school! What are you doing here?" "It's my home. You're sleeping with my son."

Because she exudes the qualities of someone settling down into late middle age. I want someone still fresh and vibrant in mind and body. She isn't that.

I agree. OP needs to realize the market and how it works. If she has a thirst for younger more vibrant guys -- well, guys her age who are vibrant included -- are going to want a gal who appeals to them that way. To put it bluntly, she does not. Sure, a younger attractive guy may be willing to "take a stroll" with an older lady who doesn't appeal to a more hib, vibrant crowd for the sake of that "milf" thing, but, she needs to realize -- looks/taste aren't random.

However when the large difference is very large, people are more likely to have different long term goals which would make a serious LTR more difficult.

When there's a Big difference, I think the reason being FWB (or as OP put it, dating and being friends) can be Drama Free -- is that an LTR really isn't in the cards. The tone is set early among two rational people that it's best for a more casual setting. Less pressure. When one's ~45, I don't think a 12 year difference is something really that big. But to some, they socially couldn't "deal with it", so it's emotionally a big deal with how they were raised. But when the situation is Actually big -- like at different stages of one's lives... no big convo or drama needs to "figure things out". It's seen as in the cards that an LTR isn't on the docket... which is fine for being just friends or casually dating if/when both single. Of course, like age-difference scaring people off via social conditioning, so too can purposely casual-dating aka 1-on-1 FWB.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 7:51:18 AM
There are a huge number of young men who are enamored by older women and would love to have a "relationship" with them. Hollywood is choc full of "sex symbols" who are in their 40s and 50s and some even older who are the hearts desire of men 20, 30 and 40 years their junior. If you don't think that is true, just check out a few of the famous cases. Same can be said for older men and younger women. Its just not true that either sex always prefers someone close in age, although many do prefer it that way.

As to what people say, outside of any relationship what do "people" actually know? Generally its nothing, and if there are any comments made they are typically based on personal bias, jealousy or envy rather than on any actual facts.

As was pointed out to me many decades ago by a friend, the only thing that limiting your view of possibilities for a relationship based on you own biases accomplishes is the limiting of your own chances for happiness. And, based on personal experience, he was exactly right.

You are not here for very long, the total number of people you can possibly meet and engage with is not all that large, and your happiness in a relationship depends on how you and the other person interact with each other. No relationships last forever, and your happiness can not be predicted by age, physical characteristics or any other aspect unless you have biases related to those things that you can't get past. Be open to what you can enjoy.
.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 60
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 8:39:17 AM
Crushing on a Hollywood star isn't a relationship
Well except for the one I have with Jason
Personally I find some limits to be a good thing
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 61
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 9:37:31 AM

except for the one I have with Jason

its not all about you ;)
what about my 'relationship' with Jackie C.......I'd be his young bit of fluff any day of the week......still waiting on his call.....he's not replying to my emails at the moment.....must be busy.

vvv.....I only have eyes for my Chan man :)
although Robin is a bit tasty (don't tell Jackie)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 62
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 9:42:25 AM
Jackie Chan? I saw you more as a Jet Li woman :/ Or Robin Shou. He moves like wind
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 10:10:07 AM

Crushing on a Hollywood star isn't a relationship
Well except for the one I have with Jason

Oh wow, very interesting. Jason -- Friday the 13th! A gal always like a guy who's in control, I guess. :)

There are a huge number of young men who are enamored by older women and would love to have a "relationship" with them. Hollywood is choc full of "sex symbols" who are in their 40s and 50s and some even older who are the hearts desire of men 20, 30 and 40 years their junior.

Yeah... with guys, they're less affected by social-status/what-does-mamma-think, etc., and I think that's a reflection of that. Especially when it comes to someone in Hollywood, if one went out on some dates and fooled around with a Hollywood actor/actress, that would definitely make up for the "but your age difference" stigma that affects folks (gals more than guys). I can understand of course, not wanting to get into a serious relationship with LTR aspirations of settling down in the indefinite future with someone with a huge age gap... due to the gap of one being well into their senior years and health complications the other not for many years to come, etc. But for a "just dating" or a relationship that isn't aimed to be a forever thing -- what's the problem for most folks? Social no-no. It's "high school" games, basically, but that's what culture brings. :) Throw someone famous into the mix, and that helps nix that.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 11:32:51 AM
Well, all those people out there who had younger partners who died, sometime considerably, before they did, or who came down with serious diseases or suffered other unfortunate consequences of being alive may differ with the perspective that its a prize to have cornered a younger partner. You can never be certain who will suffer from old age and catch you in an unfortunate situation. You may be hale and healthy today, but dead or sick tomorrow. I think is rather egotistical to think you can look at a potential partner and say "Oh no, I don't want to be stuck with some old fart in 10 years!". He may be stuck with you. In fact, I personally know of many cases where the younger partner went into a decline.

IMO, if someone you find attractive offers a relationship, go for it while you can. There are no guarantees.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 65
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 12:25:58 PM
Trust you are using a global you RG - I certainly never said I want an old fart, not a young one either.
But now Roxy we share a passion ( martial arts movies my fav, subtitles and all. Stephen Chow was great in KF Hustle
Jason Momoa. You must pay more attention to me NG.
Wish I was there
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4442176/Jason-Momoa-enjoys-pedal-Gold-Coast.html
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 2:30:11 PM
No, ouija, its not all about you. It never really is.....
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 67
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 3:57:15 PM
so who are all these 40-50 yr old Hollywood sex symbols getting crushed on by guys 40 yrs their junior? I'm not saying they don't exist, I just don't recognize them as leading ladies for movies aimed at young men. Like, say, the American Pie series, according to the poster the women in there were young. how many of these "famous cases" exist?

Here's a list I saw:

http://www.mademan.com/mm/10-hot-40-year-old-plus-women.html

and I tend to see some of these ladies--when they are actually in something these days, this list is 7 years old--in thinkpieces, not spank movies. Maybe that's b/c they are older and want to be more than cheesecake?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 68
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 4:50:13 PM
Then RG you need to be clearer.. since the way you came back with " you"
I doubt there are many young stallions lusting for older actresses. Even JLo ( why oh why Alex???)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 5:04:26 PM
clooneys
Oh you mean they are not interested in a man who just rents a bachelor apartment and has been married multiple times? The word is "vain". A weather****is a vane...
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 70
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 7:37:13 PM
I'm sure you can find a young man. Most likely it will be temporary. In my younger days my friends will date much older women. their theory was I'm with her till I find someone around my age and in the mean time I'll have my fun. Simple as that. What man would want to date a women for a LTR that's 25 or more year solder than he is.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 71
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 8:36:35 PM

so who are all these 40-50 yr old Hollywood sex symbols getting crushed on by guys 40 yrs their junior?


I would hope this doesn't happen. A 50-55 year old woman dating a man that is 40 years younger than her would be statutory rape. That would remind me of teachers that have sex with their students. LOL.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 72
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/25/2017 9:00:14 PM
I think I commented on this thread already, but.............
As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, if it works for them............
For me, I tried it once (he was 17 years younger than me) and maturity was a factor.
It seems it would be, no matter who was older, or younger.
Then again, I'm the type that likes to have something in common with the person I'm dating. (((SHRUGS)))
 swedishtextiles
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 73
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/26/2017 7:01:53 AM

What man would want to date a women for a LTR that's 25 or more year solder than he is.


Emmanuel Macron, who is running for President in France is married to a woman 24 years his senior.
They met when he was 15, she 39. He, her student---She, his teacher.
She is now 64 years old, he's 39.
Seems it worked out OK for those two!

;-)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 74
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/26/2017 9:05:40 AM
yikes, well she was a married woman running with someone same age as her child.. bet it didn't hurt she is filthy rich!
Maybe that is the secret.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/26/2017 9:44:41 AM

I would hope this doesn't happen. A 50-55 year old woman dating a man that is 40 years younger than her would be statutory rape. That would remind me of teachers that have sex with their students. LOL.

Well, a 10-15 year old could have a crush on a hot mom who looks 40 like Andie McDowell or Christie Brinkley. But those are so few & far between. A crush is different than getting some dates out of it (see POF guys writing girls online). That said, I think when you're pretty young -- like in pre-teen or young teen years, you notice age difference better than others, so one would be more into gals who were 40-45 looking like they were 30-something. But again, it's not like they wouldn't think Attraction on the best of the best 50-55 who look 40ish.

I think he mistyped and meant the age of the guys -- not that many years the junior (as something common)? When some guys go on about "Oh, wait, the gal was 45? Uggh! That's gross man, you're not even 30 yet!" -- they have to be corrected, because, a hot 45 year old woman can outdo an average Jane @30... and then you can point to Hollywood Actresses and say "You wouldn't pork her?"

But again, I think it's social upbringing AKA "high school games" that affect people more than anything. It's not a natural, actual "gross". It's "gross" by social conditioning in the sense of what other people think. Just by a #. This is why some people lie about their age.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Older woman younger man