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 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 26
Tons of dates but no relationships Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"my issue isn't with meeting I just have a hard time getting past the first date. "



Wait , in a new thread you said they don't even want to meet

Which is it ?
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 27
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/5/2017 7:59:57 PM
~ Your young and you have plenty of time, to become successful with ( the much more advanced creation then we ) the female. My suggestion is to broaden and enhance your intellect, which will bring women to you - like your a bar of the finest chocolate ever made. So how, may you ask ? How do I become more intellectual, and still maintain the life I live and am enjoying now ? I think the answer could be as simple as reading. Discover the mysteries of the human experience, history, science, love and adventure. As your knowledge increases, you will become more learned - your vocabulary & word definition will increase two-fold. And, it's fun ~ fun to keep learning about new things, places, & people. You'll have stories to tell, information to convey ~ You'll become " interesting " ( something that's always cool, with women )
OK, that's my suggestion ~ and I'm sticking to it ( col ) < chuckle out loud
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 28
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/8/2017 6:31:20 AM
seeing that I was not a fly on the wall observing I cannot say what it might be
could be a combination of factors
did you offer to pay or expect her to chip in?
did your eyes follow the waitress or scan the room for pretty chicks when you
were sitting across from her at dinner?
did you concentrate on scoping her out while she was talking
instead of actually listening to what she had to say?
did you bother to clean up, dress up before you showed up?
did you come across as someone who is full of himself and bragging?
did you look her in the eye? compliment her on ...her smile, her eyes, something?
how much time you spend looking at your phone instead of at her?
did you interupt her when she was talking?
space out and not pay attention?
did you come across as needy?
drool in your food as you were looking at her?
everytime she spoke did you say somethign stupid like " you got a perty mouth wish it was on me"
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 29
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 1:33:06 PM
don't think there's any point in them giving you feedback really.

you won't be compatible with everyone, changing who you are to be compatible will probably make you unhappy in the long run and you shouldn't need to change yourself, you just need to find someone compatible. and that's hard, you know. you're gonna get on with a lot of people but not have that spark with all.

i'm a slow burner myself but know if i want someone or not. even some guys initially i will think maybe they're right for me after a few dates but many i just think they're not for me instantly.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 30
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 4:01:02 PM
Did you mention that you're a renter?

Did you mention that you work a 'shift' and are paid 'hour'ly?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 31
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 4:19:43 PM
Mentioning you're a renter and/or work a shift and paid hourly is ALMOST as shameful as being under 6 feet tall


ALMOST
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 32
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 5:40:48 PM
^^^ Dude, stop with this. You are a GOOD-LOOKING man.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 33
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 5:44:43 PM
^^^^^

You're very kind to say that Sun, but it's not possible for a man to be " good looking " if he's less than 6 feet tall.

Don't worry, no need to console me, I've accepted it. I don't like it, but resistance .... is futile.
 lanierg
Joined: 10/12/2015
Msg: 34
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 5:45:09 PM
"i'm a slow burner myself but know if i want someone or not. even some guys initially i will think maybe they're right for me after a few dates but many i just think they're not for me instantly."

Same
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 35
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 8/16/2017 5:49:04 PM
I am not consoling you, BCC. I am genuinely puzzled about why you see yourself as 'a short man.' You are not tall-tall, but you are not short, and you are handsome. How can your identity be 'short man'?
 ImSoIntuitive
Joined: 9/19/2016
Msg: 36
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/29/2018 12:49:14 PM
Its getting harder to tell from one person to another if we are coming on too strong or too soft when few people seem to be able to be genuine and non-judgmental. Going the considerate gentle route can bore women who are actually hoping that you are as sexually aggressive as the horndog who thrashed them before you, but they wont disclose that. No, usually they just vanish.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/29/2018 2:58:20 PM
the problem is, everyone wants something different from a relationship, to fill a different hole in their lives.

what works for us on one partner, falls flat with the next one.

all we can do, is decide we weren't a good fit...that it doesn't reflect on us...and keep trying.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 38
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/29/2018 4:01:14 PM
OHENRYX wrote: And here lately, I don’t seem to be able to get over that threshold. And I’m not sure why. The last 2 women with whom I had 3 dates, when asked after the 3rd date if they would feel comfortable coming to my house to hang out and watch a movie, said “No”.

Ya know on here, at least in posting history seems like ya date up a storm, and seem to be a very casual dater??

myself,,, if i have gone out w/ a gut 4+ times i may trust enough to have him over for a movie in daytime hours. Cos i dont go for a fella gettin' fresh tooooo fast lol

OP,,,, do what the comfort level allows
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 39
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/30/2018 5:22:09 AM

, I understand it being uncomfortable but what I don't understand are the women that make out with me and then agree to a second date it leads me to believe the date was a success so it just seems I never know who's sincere and who isn't.

People can be very misleading. I know it can be confrontational but I like to KNOW if they're still into me and interested.
If they can't at-least tell me if they are or aren't well, not good communication and it's pretty lazy.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 40
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/30/2018 8:57:11 AM

__TEXASCHICK__
OHENRYX wrote: And here lately, I don’t seem to be able to get over that threshold. And I’m not sure why. The last 2 women with whom I had 3 dates, when asked after the 3rd date if they would feel comfortable coming to my house to hang out and watch a movie, said “No”.

Ya know on here, at least in posting history seems like ya date up a storm, and seem to be a very casual dater??

I had to go back and look, that quote didn’t sound right. But yes, I did post that, nearly a year ago. I went through a period where I was trying a little too hard. Normally by the third date, things have advanced to intimacy or very close. But you still get a lot of resistance to “Netflix and chill”, they still want to go out. And I don’t mind going out, heck, I enjoy going out. Just not every time we get together. After a while, you should be able to relax and be yourself.

And the real me does not go out 7 nights a week. More like one or two nights a week on average. And if we’re an item, I would want to see you more than once a week, and that should be in a relaxed atmosphere, my place or yours. Maybe a reasonable compromise: One date night, Saturday night, go out for a nice dinner, or maybe some live music and dancing. And 2 nights spent together at home. And 4 nights where I am free to do whatever my little heart desires, lay around the house doing nothing, go to the gym, work on a computer problem, whatever.

__TEXASCHICK__
myself,,, if i have gone out w/ a gut 4+ times i may trust enough to have him over for a movie in daytime hours.

Who watches movies in the daytime?

ON EDIT: Well, maybe those of you who live in the frozen northern wastelands, where it’s not safe to venture outdoors for 6 months of the year.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 41
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:35:57 AM

Who watches movies in the daytime?

ON EDIT: Well, maybe those of you who live in the frozen northern wastelands, where it’s not safe to venture outdoors for 6 months of the year.


And what is wrong w/ THAT ?

And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night

(Beach Boys, California Girls)
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 42
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/1/2018 4:16:00 PM
lol,, I live in Texas, I'm a Native, except for the time i was stationed in Europe.

Daytime movies,,,, LMN Lifetime Movie network, WE.
Got to say the way ya describe your dating life one almost feels like a fly on the wall, yes you do write that well.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/1/2018 7:32:43 PM

Who watches movies in the daytime?

ON EDIT: Well, maybe those of you who live in the frozen northern wastelands, where it’s not safe to venture outdoors for 6 months of the year/


I don't go to the movie cinema that often. But when I did go, it was usually during the afternoon. Less crowded and sometimes cheaper than at night.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/1/2018 8:28:01 PM

south_city
I don't go to the movie cinema that often. But when I did go, it was usually during the afternoon. Less crowded and sometimes cheaper than at night.

No offense, but you need to pay a little more attention to the context. We were talking about inviting someone over to your home to watch a movie.


__TEXASCHICK__
Daytime movies,,,, LMN Lifetime Movie network, WE.

Lifetime Movie Network??? Sheesh. Now I remember why I came out of retirement. You need a life, Diana!

__TEXASCHICK__
Got to say the way ya describe your dating life one almost feels like a fly on the wall, yes you do write that well

Thank you, that was a very nice thing for you to say.

Blonde_Angel


frozen northern wastelands

And what is wrong w/ THAT ?

And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night

(Beach Boys, California Girls)

Well, you’re taken, so one assumes you’re not keeping anyone warm at night. And offhand, I don’t know any other hot northern girls.

Well, there is Boo. Most definitely Boo. But she keeps declining my offers to “run away to the casbah!”

 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 45
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/4/2018 8:25:27 PM
No offense, but you need to pay a little more attention to the context. We were talking about inviting someone over to your home to watch a movie.

__TEXASCHICK__
Daytime movies,,,, LMN Lifetime Movie network, WE.

Lifetime Movie Network??? Sheesh. Now I remember why I came out of retirement. You need a life, Diana!
-----------Ohenryx, i prob do, but movie watching is usually in between HGTV, and Crime /Detective shows. lol
I do go to the Mall on weekends, too, but yes, i need a life. lol
Got a Grandson coming in the Spring, so life aint gonna be boring for long i bet.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 46
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 6:08:20 AM

We were talking about inviting someone over to your home to watch a movie.


Netflix & chill?

Isn't that what MILLENNIALS do?
 Call_me_Handy
Joined: 12/27/2017
Msg: 47
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 6:23:44 AM


Netflix & chill?

Isn't that what MILLENNIALS do?


One of the generation gaps, finances help drive this I assume, dinner and a show of some kind are not cheap.
I see that all the time, here on the forums and in profiles I look at. In the profiles I read it is seen as something that happens down the road when a relationship is on a firm footing.
Never occurs to me in the early days, dating someone means going somewhere until we are comfortable enough to do "netflix & chill".
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 48
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 8:10:15 AM

dating someone means going somewhere until we are comfortable enough to do "netflix & chill".


In our grandparent's day, it was "come up & see my etchings"!

Anyone who presses for either early on is just treating the other person as "booty call" or "hook up" fodder :0(
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 49
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Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 5:48:22 PM

Blonde_Angel


dating someone means going somewhere until we are comfortable enough to do "netflix & chill".

In our grandparent's day, it was "come up & see my etchings"!

Anyone who presses for either early on is just treating the other person as "booty call" or "hook up" fodder :0(

That would depend on a number of factors. How early is “early on”? And how attractive is the “invitee”? I have had friends of the female persuasion come over, hang out, watch movies. I have been to their homes to help setup a wifi network, or wire up a home theater (which was a lot more complex before HDMI). If they weren’t someone whose bones I wanted to jump, then no, it was not a “booty call”.

Some men, especially older men, may be unwilling to go out on dates, get dressed up, spend money, fight for parking, the whole hassle. Inviting you over might be just because they’re lazy, not that they’re thinking “easy sex”.

This is the 21st century. Women need to lighten up a little bit, cut men a little more slack. Treating all men as sex crazed perverts (just because some of us are) is so 20th century.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 50
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 7:59:29 PM

Some men, especially older men, may be unwilling to go out on dates, get dressed up, spend money, fight for parking, the whole hassle. Inviting you over might be just because they’re lazy, not that they’re thinking “easy sex”.

I wonder how many women in here would be ok w/ lazy men from day 1 ?


This is the 21st century. Women need to lighten up a little bit, cut men a little more slack. Treating all men as sex crazed perverts (just because some of us are) is so 20th century.

I don't care if it is the 19th Century or the 22nd Century...a man is a man & a woman is a woman. Men are driven, esp. in their younger years by their sex drive. It's primitive & instinctual.

I wouldn't recommend any woman to lighten up or cut anyone slack, but to hold herself & others to any (higher) standard they deem appropriate.
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