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 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 50
Tons of dates but no relationships Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Some men, especially older men, may be unwilling to go out on dates, get dressed up, spend money, fight for parking, the whole hassle. Inviting you over might be just because they’re lazy, not that they’re thinking “easy sex”.

I wonder how many women in here would be ok w/ lazy men from day 1 ?


This is the 21st century. Women need to lighten up a little bit, cut men a little more slack. Treating all men as sex crazed perverts (just because some of us are) is so 20th century.

I don't care if it is the 19th Century or the 22nd Century...a man is a man & a woman is a woman. Men are driven, esp. in their younger years by their sex drive. It's primitive & instinctual.

I wouldn't recommend any woman to lighten up or cut anyone slack, but to hold herself & others to any (higher) standard they deem appropriate.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 51
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/5/2018 8:40:22 PM
Men aren't the only ones who have sex drives, and are influenced by them.

Women aren't the only ones who should uphold higher standards for themselves and others.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 52
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 4:17:34 AM


(ohenryx) Some men, especially older men, may be unwilling to go out on dates, get dressed up, spend money, fight for parking, the whole hassle. Inviting you over might be just because they’re lazy, not that they’re thinking “easy sex”.


(Platinum_Blonde_Angel)I wonder how many women in here would be ok w/ lazy men from day 1 ?


(*shrug*) One person's "lazy" is another person's "pragmatic".

Or... one can do what I do, which is to go to a pub, read my book, and truly, actually not give a fig about what anyone else does. I've had two quite attractive ladies approach me within the last month, asking about my book.

I have absolutely zero interest in putting up a facade, or "going where the women are". Women in dance clubs simply don't appeal to me. They have their interests, I have mine. I am interested in women on the right-hand side of the IQ bell-curve. Introverts also appeal to me.

I let interested ladies approach me. If I go out to read and have a pint or two, and no woman approaches me? I don't slink home oin frustration. It was a night, is all.



This is the 21st century. Women need to lighten up a little bit, cut men a little more slack. Treating all men as sex crazed perverts (just because some of us are) is so 20th century.


(Platinum_Blonde_Angel) I don't care if it is the 19th Century or the 22nd Century...a man is a man & a woman is a woman. Men are driven, esp. in their younger years by their sex drive. It's primitive & instinctual.

I wouldn't recommend any woman to lighten up or cut anyone slack, but to hold herself & others to any (higher) standard they deem appropriate.


I actually agree completely with you on this; but, I wouldn't be the Lovable Scamp I am if I got along, so just for the sake of a fracas:

Nah, women need to give it up early, and often...
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 53
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 5:35:51 AM

the Lovable Scamp I am

Agreed. You are in your own category!




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n order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 54
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History
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 7:47:33 AM
If I have this correctly you're an introvert. so am I. so here's a thought. take it or leave it. :)
first of all I think it's wonderful that you're going after what you're looking for.

introverts tend to put most of their energy into one or a few people at a time. they're not known for having tons of dates or tons of friends though acquaintances might be more common if you're a polite or friendly person.

like a lot of introverts I'm perfectly content watching other people have the spot light and most of the attention. however if I have something to say I do speak up. I come out of wallflower mode until I'm done talking. lol

since most of the time introverts tend to like to see other people get most of the attention people see you as wanting less attention because that's how you portrait yourself.
if you portrait yourself as being less introverted then you are it's not going to seem natural. people sense that.
my point is this. don't over extend what you're normally like or you'll feel drained afterwards
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 55
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 8:14:15 AM

If I have this correctly you're an introvert. so am I. so here's a thought. take it or leave it. :)
first of all I think it's wonderful that you're going after what you're looking for.

introverts tend to put most of their energy into one or a few people at a time. they're not known for having tons of dates or tons of friends though acquaintances might be more common if you're a polite or friendly person.

like a lot of introverts I'm perfectly content watching other people have the spot light and most of the attention. however if I have something to say I do speak up. I come out of wallflower mode until I'm done talking. lol

since most of the time introverts tend to like to see other people get most of the attention people see you as wanting less attention because that's how you portrait yourself.
if you portrait yourself as being less introverted then you are it's not going to seem natural. people sense that.
my point is this. don't over extend what you're normally like or you'll feel drained afterwards



I think Arlo is like that & what you say really is on point.

I am also an introvert but I love being around people but w/ some boundaries.

Very well put I like what you said, valuable info!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 56
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History
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 1:23:52 PM

I don’t seem to be able to get over that threshold. And I’m not sure why. The last 2 women with whom I had 3 dates, when asked after the 3rd date if they would feel comfortable coming to my house to hang out and watch a movie, said “No”.

It's a lack of interest if you didn't get a 4th date. One can point to a lady's comfort zone, sure. But if you're not getting a 4th date, that "No" was mainly their comfort zone to start datING you -- netflix chilling or not.

Normally by the third date, things have advanced to intimacy or very close.

Close enough where a 4th date to go out, dinner, then watch a movie at-my-place getting back there around 8-9 isn't some big move. If it is, 95% chance she's lacking interest. A key part of garnering interest is establishing comfort-zone.

Who watches movies in the daytime?

As standard ops, that tends to be with a guy & gal who are an item. Or, in summer months with more daylight, come over and we'll get take-out and watch a movie (6PM - 8:30PM), then go out for drinks after. It's a good move to establish comfort zone for an early-on date. But the longer it takes a gal to be comfortable doing that, the less interest she has. And most of the time, if you have to "work" for that -- you're chasing a gal who's lacking adequate interest. Which will happen, but should be minimized.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 57
Tons of dates but no relationships
Posted: 2/6/2018 6:51:36 PM


(AT) the Lovable Scamp I am


(Platinum_Blonde_Angel) Agreed. You are in your own category!


I *DO* have a certain je ne sais quoi about me -- that, and an @$$ you can bounce a dime off of!
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