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Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 33
How did you decide to become a parent?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
No need for shame, I imagine there are plenty of people, if honest like you, would be the same.
Like you say, a great achievement :)
If most people waited till they were ready (financially/emotionally/etc) they probably never would become parents.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 34
How did you decide to become a parent?
Posted: 4/15/2017 8:46:14 AM
As a full-time SJW., from a very early age, I always said I wouldn't have any.
But my 'ex' was desperate for a child, and I thought "why not? I've tried everything else. Might as well give it a go".
TBH it was the trying part I enjoyed.
She kept getting pregnant, but kept "dropping" them. We had 3, or maybe 4 'miscarriages', the last one, actually in the hospital, they did tests (on it), but couldn't find any obvious reason. The medical term is "spontaneous abortions", nice.
I always joked that she was "rejecting" my "alien genes". Strangely, years later, medical science concurred, somewhat.
While I was patting her on the back, and "comforting" her, (much more emotionally painful for the women, than the man) I was already looking forward to more "trying".

When she finally managed to keep one in, past the first 12 weeks, I was 28, and shitting myself, thinking there might be "something wrong" with it, because of all those previous failed attempts.
There wasn't. he'll be 35 this year, he's a lovely man. (IMO) And announced his engagement last year, to his long time GF.

Tried for a second, when he was about 2, but it didn't happen, so we forgot all about it, 'til she got pregnant when he was 7!
So quite a big age gap.
But they're both lovely.

The younger one spent nearly all day with me yesterday, we watched "Wild at Heart", which he'd never seen before,
and we talked about politics, and religion, and "racism".
Just like I used to, with my dad.

I wouldn't say it's "the best thing I ever did", that's a bit melodramatic, IMO., but it's another aspect of being alive that I've experienced, and I'm very glad I did.
No grandchildren yet, but I'm hopeful.
I wouldn't have minded being childless though, it's not a big deal IMO.
Happy Saturday.
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 35
view profile
How did you decide to become a parent?
Posted: 4/17/2017 3:59:45 AM
i didn't decide to become a parent... we'd got married, bought the house, started the business so it was just the next thing to do...

i never stopped to actually consider if i wanted children... thankfully.... if i had, i might have decided against parenthood, which given tbe sheer and absolutely perfection i created, would be a serious loss to my life and the world in general.
Joined: 11/28/2015
Msg: 36
view profile
How did you decide to become a parent?
Posted: 4/20/2017 10:34:56 AM
I didn't. Wanting children , that yearning others describe never happened to me. I only ever considered it in passing and then thought nah. I'd been with my son's dad 13 years, we were sort of trying and then I sorta changed my mind but by then I'd sorta got pregnant . So we sorta got on with it. Can't lie ...didn't find baby and early childhood plain sailing for many reasons.He's 15 now and great company ( most of the time !) Would I do it again in my next life? Yes....he's brought so much good and richness to my life and the whole thing of being a little persons parent changed me for the better.
Joined: 7/23/2017
Msg: 37
view profile
How did you decide to become a parent?
Posted: 5/12/2019 8:37:57 AM
I did not want children and never having children was a condition of agreeing to marry. Was married for about 9 yrs before the biological clock went off and like msg #3 it was a primal urge for a baby NOW. Took 3 more years, drugs and surgery to have the baby.

I was an oops baby. For a few years before and after my son was born I kept a box labeled the 'memory box' that has all sorts of things; including my 3 yrs of ovulation calendars. Those were painful years. But I show and tell my son how much he was and is wanted.

I own a business with my son that he runs. I don't work there any more but hang out on weekends to lend a hand where I can. Like msg #6, some of my proudest moments are surreptitiously listening as son handles difficult customers or just how he treats people. Although babies are born with their own personality that a parent can only guide development, when I see my adult son make his way in the world I know I did well and did better than my parents.
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