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 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 26
Single moms and babysittersPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Babysitting? That is so 20th century...


Not so sure some of these ladies are even advanced enough to live in the 19th century. Some don't see a problem with a married couple that sees each other on the daily not having sex for as long as a year or even longer. They also seem to think a partner letting another partner know they have those needs and they aren't being met as some sort of minor request. Then to boot they are shocked that this partner would choose to go else where after that time period. Then they think I am relaying a story about myself for reasons unknown when in reality if I were talking about me and not a couple I knew we would be talking about a month and I'd be moving out and on and not giving a f*ck. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior in my eyes and even if there was a medical reason for it the roller coaster may be broken but the merry go round is working just fine.

Like they have no idea of sexual biology and don't care to the point they can't keep a man. Yet wonder why their men cheat on them and why they are single. Amazing!
 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 27
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 8:37:30 AM
14 year old girls are not necessarily angels.

Babysitters (of which I am not in need of) may completely ignore the children, sit on the phone the entire time, watch TV the entire time, invite people over (which they are not allowed to do), eat stuff they don't have permission to eat, dig through your belongings, sit outside and leave the children inside (while they hang out with friends) ... etc.

They don't necessarily watch your children. Some are great, some are horrible.

I would never leave a child with someone without getting references and contacting those references.

And no, 14 year old girls are not just sitting idle waiting for that call to service. They don't come running just because you ask them to. They have stuff to do and maybe they aren't in need of money this week.


The elephant in the room is that single mothers don't care about their kids. If they did then they wouldn't be single mothers.


When a woman's husband dies is she supposed to rush out and marry the first man she can talk into it just so her children have a father?

When a husband walks out on his wife should the mother left behind rush out and marry the first man she can talk into it just so her children will have a father in the home?

When a husband beats his wife and abuses her in other ways should she just suck it up and stay with him so her children will have a father in the home? They'll be okay, right? Watching mommy get smacked around won't hurt them in anyway.

When a father beats his children or otherwise abuses them should the mother just suck it up and stay with him so her children have a father in the home? They'll get over the abuse, right?
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 28
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 10:15:29 AM

When a woman's husband dies is she supposed to rush out and marry the first man she can talk into it just so her children have a father?
No. That falls under the category of fate. It is neither moral nor wise to make another man pay for the judgement of the almighty.


When a husband walks out on his wife should the mother left behind rush out and marry the first man she can talk into it just so her children will have a father in the home?

Again, no. It is neither moral nor wise to try to burden an innocent man with the misconduct of either the wife or the husband.


When a husband beats his wife and abuses her in other ways should she just suck it up and stay with him so her children will have a father in the home? They'll be okay, right? Watching mommy get smacked around won't hurt them in anyway.

When a father beats his children or otherwise abuses them should the mother just suck it up and stay with him so her children have a father in the home? They'll get over the abuse, right?

Yes, suck it up and yes, they'll get over it. The stats are very clear about this. Life chances are better for the child of an abusive father than the child of a single mother. It's not even close.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 29
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 10:25:19 AM

No. That falls under the category of fate. It is neither moral nor wise to make another man pay for the judgement of the almighty.


I don't believe in god but either way I don't see it as fate it is just an unfortunate incident. You act as though the new suitor would not have a choice in the matter.


Again, no. It is neither moral nor wise to try to burden an innocent man with the misconduct of either the wife or the husband.


People fall in love despite each other's circumstances. It's a package deal on either end and he has a right to take it or leave it. You act as though single fathers with children don't exist. I guess they are not allowed to date in your book either?


Yes, suck it up and yes, they'll get over it. The stats are very clear about this. Life chances are better for the child of an abusive father than the child of a single mother. It's not even close.


Are you drunk or high? If a dude beats you it's time to go. Too many women dying this way to stay.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 30
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 11:58:24 AM

I don't believe in god but either way I don't see it as fate it is just an unfortunate incident. You act as though the new suitor would not have a choice in the matter.
...
People fall in love despite each other's circumstances. It's a package deal on either end and he has a right to take it or leave it. You act as though single fathers with children don't exist. I guess they are not allowed to date in your book either?

Rather than going through the same old, tired men's rights talking points, that we a probably both sick of, I'll offer a little something new:
Proposition -- The man is totally NOT responsible and has no choice in the matter. Furthermore, it is incumbent upon every individual woman to make sure that he never enters a relationship. In support, I'll use primarily feminist scripture.

Verse 1: Men think with their d*cks and are incapable of anything but the most animal impulses.
Verse 2: An impaired woman cannot consent to sex no matter what the circumstances. If a woman has a sip of beer at a frat party and then goes over to a sleeping man, unzips his fly and sucks on his penis then the unconscious man is guilty of rape.

Back to the single mother issue: The man was born to copulate and abuse children. He has no choice because it is both a biological drive and societal imperative that he destroy everything he sees. He is hardwired. The very idea that a man can choose anything is preposterous.

Likewise, women are required to push him aside for the same reason that it is the duty of all men to prevent the sleeping man from allowing his penis to be taken into the sorority sister's mouth, no matter how hard she fights, or they too are guilty of rape.

Are you drunk or high? If a dude beats you it's time to go. Too many women dying this way to stay.

Not fighting you, just questioning how you arrived at that assumption. Too many young women die in car accidents. Too many young women die of disease. If you think that protecting the woman overrides protecting the children then okay. Priorities are priorities. If, on the other hand, you think that the children are more important then a good woman goes nowhere because of the negative impact upon the children.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 31
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 12:59:02 PM

Rather than going through the same old, tired men's rights talking points, that we a probably both sick of, I'll offer a little something new:
Proposition -- The man is totally NOT responsible and has no choice in the matter. Furthermore, it is incumbent upon every individual woman to make sure that he never enters a relationship. In support, I'll use primarily feminist scripture.

Verse 1: Men think with their d*cks and are incapable of anything but the most animal impulses.
Verse 2: An impaired woman cannot consent to sex no matter what the circumstances. If a woman has a sip of beer at a frat party and then goes over to a sleeping man, unzips his fly and sucks on his penis then the unconscious man is guilty of rape.

Back to the single mother issue: The man was born to copulate and abuse children. He has no choice because it is both a biological drive and societal imperative that he destroy everything he sees. He is hardwired. The very idea that a man can choose anything is preposterous.

Likewise, women are required to push him aside for the same reason that it is the duty of all men to prevent the sleeping man from allowing his penis to be taken into the sorority sister's mouth, no matter how hard she fights, or they too are guilty of rape.


First I don't agree with any of the above. So I don't have an opinion that aligns with it.


Not fighting you, just questioning how you arrived at that assumption. Too many young women die in car accidents. Too many young women die of disease. If you think that protecting the woman overrides protecting the children then okay. Priorities are priorities. If, on the other hand, you think that the children are more important then a good woman goes nowhere because of the negative impact upon the children.


If a father beats and is abusive to the mother he is just as likely to beat the children. If a mother beats the father she is just as likely to beat the children. An abusive person isn't selective on who they abuse. They also don't set limits for their abuse. Therefore it is in protection to the abused partner and the children that they leave. Now are legal tools that are in use to help the abused to leave abused and used by an abuser? Absolutely. Everyday. That's why more judges spending more time investigating cases is necessary.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 32
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 1:37:36 PM

First I don't agree with any of the above. So I don't have an opinion that aligns with it.

I don't agree with any of it either but those assumptions fuel government policy. If that is the current trajectory of government action (it is), then take it to the limit. What I actually believe is that everyone, man or woman, faces choices in life and some of those choices are bad.


f a father beats and is abusive to the mother he is just as likely to beat the children. If a mother beats the father she is just as likely to beat the children. An abusive person isn't selective on who they abuse. They also don't set limits for their abuse. Therefore it is in protection to the abused partner and the children that they leave. Now are legal tools that are in use to help the abused to leave abused and used by an abuser? Absolutely. Everyday. That's why more judges spending more time investigating cases is necessary.

Compare apples to apples Jack. A man who blinks once too often when a woman is beating him is guilty of abuse. A woman who scalds her children with boiling water is not guilty of abuse because she is a victim and her husband blinks too much.

There are NO tools for an abused man and his children. I don't have much faith in judicial investigations either. A judge's inclination is to "defend the little lady" regardless of what atrocities she may be committing. More investigation means more government intrusion and violence; always to the detriment of the man.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 33
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/30/2017 1:54:49 PM

I don't agree with any of it either but those assumptions fuel government policy. If that is the current trajectory of government action (it is), then take it to the limit. What I actually believe is that everyone, man or woman, faces choices in life and some of those choices are bad.


Well everyone makes what could be deemed as a bad choice. What it really boils down to is the so called bad choice person bought stock in a person who might of been risky to one degree or another. Yet aren't we all risky to one degree or another? So it just happens that the stock they purchased husband or wife crashed and burned. Now they are left with nothing and forced to start over. At that point they are left with less resources with possibly even more resource drainers (children) and put in a position by society and other variables that if they reinvest in another person it will likely be an even more risky stock.


Compare apples to apples Jack. A man who blinks once too often when a woman is beating him is guilty of abuse. A woman who scalds her children with boiling water is not guilty of abuse because she is a victim and her husband blinks too much.


Man you have no idea how horrible this actually is. I've been to child burn centers and witnessed this behavior and do not wish to discuss this at all. Bring another example please.


There are NO tools for an abused man and his children. I don't have much faith in judicial investigations either. A judge's inclination is to "defend the little lady" regardless of what atrocities she may be committing. More investigation means more government intrusion and violence; always to the detriment of the man.


Absolutely men get a bad rap. We can't gardner change without delving into it to get the truth. Children deserve the delving and the truth in order to receive the best care from the best parent for them. If necessary the severing of a parent child relationship. Society owes this to it's children and doesn't deserve careless abandonment to abusive parenting.
 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 34
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/1/2017 9:55:37 AM

Yes, suck it up and yes, they'll get over it. The stats are very clear about this. Life chances are better for the child of an abusive father than the child of a single mother. It's not even close.


I don't know what stats you are referring to - I have a feeling that they are imaginary. There are studies regarding single parenting that say it's better for a child to have both a mother and a father, but I doubt that any state that it's better for a child to be abused for the sake of having a mother and a father.

It's never better for anyone of any age to suffer through years of abuse - it has a lasting impact that doesn't just go away because the abuse has maybe ended.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 35
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/13/2017 3:18:13 PM
Why are you focusing on single mom's, is it because you think they're easy pickings? Not so, as you can see, as they may be more picky about who they bring into their lives since they have children. Maybe they are using the kids as an excuse to not go out with you, think about it. You don't sound very nice and I'm sure they can see that very clearly.

I shudder to look back and think about people that hired me to do babysitting when I was 13 years old. Luckily for them, I happen to be very responsible with good emergency skills and common sense, but of course it was still limited because of my age. They didn't even know me. I watched their infants and kids that were about 5 years old.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 36
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/13/2017 8:16:42 PM

When my children were "babysitter" age I didn't date. I was busy taking care of them and working. I really didn't have free time and made the choice not to date. Dating just wasn't a priority. My children were. It was my choice and I have no regrets.


And it would be the exact same thing, when your sons have your grandkids and you know it will...a man won't fit into your plans and if he does?...he would be very, very low on your list of priories...and when your grand kids have kids...guess what? The exact same thing
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 37
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/13/2017 8:39:36 PM
^^^^ I had 24/7/365 custody. I don't have family. It was necessary for me to be all in for my children. No one else was there.
I can't imagine that all of my grandchildren will need me in that capacity. When grandchildren come into my life many years from now I will cross that bridge.

Read what I wrote again. I made a choice not to date. Why? Because I knew that I didn't have space in my life for a man. I didn't let a man into my life and then put him last on the list. You are complaining about women who do exactly what I wasn't willing to do. I am the exact opposite of what you are whining about. I am the sort of person who doesn't want to shortchange a person. If I know I can't give what needs to be given I don't even start anything.

You are attempting to pick on the wrong woman. My mindset doesn't match up with that of those who you have clearly dealt with in the past.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 38
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 5:25:53 AM

I am the sort of person who doesn't want to shortchange a person. If I know I can't give what needs to be given I don't even start anything.


Ok so what would you say to a guy, you are in a relationship with, when your sons have your grand kids and ask you to babysit all the time? I can't make time for you anymore...my grand kids come first in my life....sorry...

best you keep it casual and not get into a relationship with a man...me thinks

You will be getting the call anytime soon telling you...guess what mum? Your a grand mother...your maternal instincts will come into play and your obsession will become them...you know you will...why deny it? You would never, ever turn down your son, if he asked you to baby sit...you like children far too much to do that

I don't think you want to answer the question, because you know I'm 1000% right
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 39
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:20:04 AM

Ok so what would you say to a guy, you are in a relationship with, when your sons have your grand kids and ask you to babysit all the time? I can't make time for you anymore...my grand kids come first in my life....sorry...


So if she decides that what do you care?


best you keep it casual and not get into a relationship with a man...me thinks


Again what she decides is really none of your business and a dude is a big boy and can make his own choices as well.


You will be getting the call anytime soon telling you...guess what mum? Your a grand mother...your maternal instincts will come into play and your obsession will become them...you know you will...why deny it? You would never, ever turn down your son, if he asked you to baby sit...you like children far too much to do that


If she does so what? A man can't have a good time with kids? I mean someone she is involved with can't be involved with those children as well? If she finds a guy like that what's it to you?


I don't think you want to answer the question, because you know I'm 1000% right


No it's like she said she doesn't have to answer it because it is a bridge she hasn't had to cross yet. Why would she owe you an answer? Who the f^ck are you? You jealous of children or something?

Me personally I feel I did far more than their mom and was like she said 24/7 probably more like 280 days or better a year. If I said 365 that wouldn't be completely honest but it kind of would be because medical decisions school or whatever. A lot of people and how I feel about it right now today is I did my time that grandchild is not my kid. I'll be grandpa but not interested in being daddy and there is a difference. Now when a situation dictates I might change that attitude if I just gotta.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 40
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:35:13 AM
I won't go into the specifics but I had full custody. FULL. It was 24/7/365. I made all decisions. About everything. There was no one else. I made the very conscious decision not to date when my children were at home. I did not want to be in a relationship in any way when I knew that I could not be all in. That would not be fair to him or me or my children. I am not one of those people that needs to be with another person.

lolololol at getting a call any day that I am a grandmother. Um. No. My sons are smart, careful and career oriented at this time. IF and that is a big IF one of them were to end up fathering a child and for some crazy reason the mother was not in the picture they are all in the position to have around the clock help. They would not need me to suddenly be a surrogate mother.

I found
best you keep it casual and not get into a relationship with a man...me thinks
sort of funny.
Well duh. I am not looking for a relationship. I am not sure where anyone got the idea that I am.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 41
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:47:10 AM

I won't go into the specifics but I had full custody. FULL. It was 24/7/365.


I got that just to be clear. I wasn't talking about you at all I was talking about me as mine was was 280-320 days a year as my ex lived out of state and I was primary. Or then as it was called custodial.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 42
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 7:01:09 AM
^^ I see that. I was just driving home my own personal point. S/he is just trolling. I am all out of troll food so ... there is that.

I have seen plenty of people who enter into relationships when they really shouldn't. They don't have the time or energy or desire needed to be all in. Being a custodial parent isn't the only reason a person shouldn't look to be in a relationship. There are lots and lots of reasons. I am not really a "relationship" person. Not everyone is. *shrug*
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 43
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 7:41:01 AM
Well I think if you find a certain person anything is possible. Either way if it works for you then it works for you. Do what makes you happy as we only got this one life. Kind of like you, my own kids I don't foresee a problem but I guess you never know what life may throw. Like a deceased spouse or what have you.

I do have an ex step daughter that is a total nightmare in this area. Like my whole life is suppose to stop or something. I'm like dude I do what I can when I can as grandpa but I ain't interested in being daddy. The choices in men totally sucked balls and it was like really? Not to mention like some of the fathering of these children is questionable. So the men she is with are toss ups on fathers. My brother drove my mom's car over to my house so we could help each other fix it. Dude drives up because my ex step daughter use to live with me for a while. He was saying I think I'm the father of and said one of my grandkids names. I was so embarrassed.

To make matters worse the dude was a white guy just like I'm a white guy my stepdaughter is a white girl and the granddaughter he was referring to was definitely a mexican. So I just did not get how she could even call this dude and think he was the father. I mean after a few minutes me and my brother are working on my mom's car still and we just couldn't help but bust out laughing about it. So bad if you don't laugh you're going to cry.

I was introduced into her life when she was 9 and she was just one of those kids you couldn't do anything to or with. Every piece of every little thing was just a horrible nightmare. Even to this day I'm beside myself and like WTF yah know some of the stupid sh!t she does just pisses me off. Laidbackguy is a one track mind trying to be everywhere at once. A complete moron of a human being.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 44
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 8:13:37 AM
They were only questions spot4username...you cleared things up...the end
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 45
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 9:07:24 AM

The stats are very clear about this. Life chances are better for the child of an abusive father than the child of a single mother. It's not even close.

No, it's quite misleading, to lead one to believe that if you have an abusive father out of a tailer park, visualized like on the TV show Cops getting arrested for being a drunk beater, that if Any woman who is not currently married who has kids, even a suburban mom from a divorce who takes good care of the kids as does the dad -- that the life of the child is somehow worse? Lol. Some Bitter people want to believe that I guess when their wife of the past filed for divorce, I guess. :)

Why are you focusing on single mom's, is it because you think they're easy pickings? Not so, as you can see, as they may be more picky about who they bring into their lives since they have children.

To be fair, on POF -- to gals under 35, it has a very high % of single-moms. So a guy's going to run into them, for better or worse on here. I agree they certainly can be more picky about settling down with a guy, but they can also be in dire need to find a decent guy for the sake of it, too -- or needing to just unwind once in a while if stuck at home and wanting attention, etc. It depends on the demographic. But OP is crying foul because gals are making valid or exaggerated excuses not to go out with him, having kids to tend to.
 PinkyAndTheBrain83
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 46
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/14/2017 2:11:35 PM
You obviously do not have kids or know what its like to be a parent. Your child's safety comes first over all. If i don't know someone i will not let them babysit. One, cause my kid will not be comfortable with them. Two, how am i suppose to know they didn't lie about their history. A lot of sick people out there now and parents need to be very careful of who is around them.

Each to their own opinion. But any mother i know will not leave their kids with someone they do not know and trust.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 47
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/16/2017 11:49:59 AM
I have my daughter three days a week. Any woman who doesn't have a family member or baby daddy to watch her children is a red flag for me.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/16/2017 12:04:27 PM
^^
Any person who says "baby daddy" is a red flag.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 49
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/16/2017 12:17:05 PM

^^
Any person who says "baby daddy" is a red flag.


I don't like to use the term "ex wife". She's the mother of my child. People of this generation have a new word for that.

At your age your kids should be able to take care of themselves.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 50
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Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 6/16/2017 12:32:41 PM

People of this generation have a new word for that.

Use of low rent vocabulary is not generational. It is just low rent.

At your age your kids should be able to take care of themselves.

Well bless your heart. Did you just attempt a little passive aggressive dig?
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