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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 426
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their parents are in the iron and steal businessPage 18 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
My ex was about 30+ lbs overweight. He lost some of it after we divorced since he didn't have me cooking for him anymore. He did ask me for some recipes. Some of that belly was from beer. He retains that:)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 427
their parents are in the iron and steal business
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:25:00 PM
"That's because after a few dozen botox injections and few procedures under the knife, they are unrecognizable. Even as human beings sometimes. If they refused to/didn't have kids like their Mom did, of course there will be some differences."
Such a bitter SHORT man
Perhaps try botox, helps with headaches
Every woman who rejects you have some flaw/fault
must be the " I hate Dan gene"
smh
thefuk, refused to have kids? Yes. Refused.
eye roll to go with head shake
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 428
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their parents are in the iron and steal business
Posted: 7/8/2017 6:47:50 PM
Height is not something that can be changed, however weight is something that can be changed.
When fat people complain about their being passed over for being overweight, it just makes them look all the uglier.
There are any number of means available to help you become more healthy, and the condemnation of anyone who is simply not attracted to overweight people is a waste of time.
Attraction cannot be chosen.

Likewise, when a shorter man has a problem with being passed over, well buddy there isnt anything you can do but work within your means.
Find women who are shorter than yourself, and take peace in the fact that the height problem you struggle with has 2 sides:
There are women who are over 6 foot who wish they were shorter.
 DirteeJohn
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 429
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their parents are in the iron and steal business
Posted: 7/8/2017 6:51:38 PM
I don't get the folks that screw fat people and complain their partners are fat

Wtf?!
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 430
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Men's height vs women's weight
Posted: 7/10/2017 4:12:52 PM
“Yes, I giv'a damn with regards to a man's character, his values, his personality. Just my opinion, more energy spent finding a person, who is trustworthy, etc, is time spent well. Looking for ‘just the right height and / or weight’ is time, ....................well..............wasted. Life is short.”

But if personality is all that matters, how do you differentiate between friends and romantic interests? Are you telling us that you’re attracted to EVERY guy you meet with great character, values and personality? You’d have to be a pretty rare person that could start a romantic relationship with someone you have no physical attraction to, and like it or not, height and weight/body type are components of physical attraction to most people.

I would agree that getting all Seinfeld-ian is rather self-destructive (“Oh, no, he’s one inch too short – it can never be!” “Oh, dear, she’s 5 pounds too much – this can’t happen!”), and there’s no place like OLD where you’re just some pictures and some stats to amplify that occurrence, but in my experience, in real life especially, most people just look at someone and either decide there’s a chance or there’s no chance, and if there’s a chance, THEN they start checking on all the personality and character traits, whereas it tends to be nearly impossible to turn around “no chance” no matter what personality and character traits one exhibits. Again, I really mean “no chance” – not “I have no feelings one way or the other about this person.” That said, there have been a couple of people on here (all women, I think) that claim they feel no attraction or repulsion for any man until they get to know him. But statistically that seems pretty rare even among women and basically nonexistent among men.

“As for yourself, I'm sorry to see you go for those long stretches without female companionship due to your height”

As anyone who’s been around me for long periods of time here can tell you, that’s probably not the only reason, but it is by far the #1 reason I am filtered out on Match. Niche’ dating sites are usually worthless because of the low number of participants – nobody much wants to be thought of as “different” or wants to limit their options to just someone like them (particularly short women). I do think location has become a major issue – if I could brave the New York winters, I’d be out of here in a heartbeat, but that probably would have worked out a lot better in my 20s than 40s. Still, though, pickings have really become slim around these parts, and I can’t see how having 5X as many options that are about 10X more progressive could possibly be a negative.

“BUT, a very Short guy can still do what he can to amp up his other attributes, to then be able to get at least a ‘base hit’ now and again.”

I think the toughest lesson in life I learned is that nothing you can change about yourself will actually change you or your prospects, because you will always be you. When I was at the beach this week with my best friend and her family/girlfriends, I actually “won” their contest for best middle-aged guy body in the group, as voted on by those women (there were about 20 other guys in “competition”). So, I guess working out 15 to 20 hours a week for months paid off, huh? (Like I have something else better to do with my spare time.)

Then why did that “win” basically feel like a consolation prize? All those guys (much taller, btw, though also varying ranges of fatter) had wives or girlfriends (and in some cases both), and if they lost those wives/girlfriends, they could all easily replace them. Yeah, I got the hottest body and no dates for nearly 11 years – that really adds up. I’m more accomplished than most of them (I mean, I wrote and produced a top 10 movie – who the hell else has done that among non-Hollywooders?), I’ve traveled extensively while most of them would barely leave the couch and I have far more in common with their wives/girlfriends than they do. But it doesn’t matter. None of these things really matter. I’m still just me. Height-wise, personality-wise, character-wise. I’m just me and always will be me, which has, in my entire life, never been what females wanted, and nothing I do is going to change that.

Except a whole lot of money. That has been proven to change everything for any guy. Not “comfortable” money – I’m talking, mansion on the beach money.

“Do you have some kind of aversion to using paragraphs?”

Sorry, I was in a hurry while running off to the beach for a week – I usually do SLIGHTLY better than that.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 431
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Men's height vs women's weight
Posted: 7/10/2017 4:43:34 PM
Hawking, that's really sad. I don't mean you're sad, but your situation for finding companionship. I hate to admit to being a contributor to that scenario with being 5'-4" myself and wanting to date a little taller than myself, but I don't focus entirely on height. Shortest was 5'-8". I don't think I've ever been asked out by anyone shorter.

I see you're in Tampa. I would think there are some shorter folks there that are Spanish, still, I know it's hard to find someone that's short enough for them to then consider you their height or wanting someone a bit taller. A woman who may be interested might be 5' and under. What would I do, hard to say when you're not in that person's situation, but I think I would find ways to target those shorter women by finding groups to be in with them. I think there are groups online and for dating that focus on shorter people. I'm not in NY now, but there are some more petite Italian and Irish folks there. I'm in WA state now and the guys seem to be extremely tall, due to the nationality that's pervasive with Scandinavians.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 432
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Posted: 7/10/2017 4:56:31 PM
Hawking wrote:
Yeah, I got the hottest body and no dates for nearly 11 years



I’m just me and always will be me, which has, in my entire life, never been what females wanted, and nothing I do is going to change that.


Sheesh....I think you need to change something up...big time...Mr. Hawking. You're in a rut so deep even a Florida good ol' boy's 4x4 couldn't drag you out.

Shave your head. Get some tattoos. Dye your hair pink. Get an earring. Get a new job,, pick up and move somewhere else. I don't know. Just trying to come up with some ideas. But clearly what you are doing isn't working. You write well....clearly you have depth and substance....your new pic and the contest victory shows you have a good build.......accomplisments out the ying-yang........5'4"...well, that's a challenge, but I see shorter guys with women all the time. Move to another country where emphasis insn't placed on taller men.

Sure, I'm the first one to say I have difficulty in facing big life issues in my own life. My problems seem intractable, yet others' problems here, to me, seem easy to solve. They're just different problems. Others' seem easier to solve. I guess that's why we're here. Maybe just to vent, not to act on the advice we get.

For you......I think the big thing is to do more IRL things. Join clubs, groups, etc. etc. etc. Maybe if you haven't already get more active in politics as I know what is one of your passions from your posts in the "Off Tropics." If you lack confidence around people, take some public speaking courses or join Dale Carnegie or Toastmasters. Yea, you've probably heard all this before.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 433
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Posted: 7/10/2017 6:22:26 PM
"Are you telling us that you’re attracted to EVERY guy you meet with great character, values and personality? You’d have to be a pretty rare person that could start a romantic relationship with someone you have no physical attraction to, and like it or not, height and weight/body type are components of physical attraction to most people."

>>>shoot, that's how I got most of my relationships :) A lass who has a healthy attitude towards sex, realizes i'm not going to brag to everyone about what we're doing, feels comfortable around me, and is sick of being alone or just hasn't had human contact in a while. It leads to a short relationship once they find someone hot they can land. And yes, its rare to find. But once we get old enough and our body parts all go south, we might lower our standards on appearances. Not like we can see a lot of old hotties on the silver screen to compare to, right? :) or maybe we just mature.

otherwise with most people, I agree, the difference between friends and lovers is the physical appearance. And in the case of lovers, its amazing how many people here and talk about the problems they have with ex spouses and lovers and such and we wonder...was this person ever a friend?

I have to say, money hasn't changed my lack of dating success in the least. but I do know, part of my issue is I am not a hot mess, therefore I do not attract hot messes, b/c I don't act like a hot mess, I don't think like a hot mess, I don't talk like a hot mess. Going to car shows won't attract women. catching art-house movies doesn't attract average women. me being me, isn't following the normal path or being average. I can "Dumb myself down", except that I can't, really. so I enjoy what I enjoy, instead.

that's the decision I make.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 434
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Posted: 7/10/2017 6:57:29 PM

I think the toughest lesson in life I learned is that nothing you can change about yourself will actually change you or your prospects, because you will always be you.


But the question is, are you bringing your best you to the table? Are you being exactly who you want to be and know you're capable of being with enough focus on it?

Presentation is everything. Good looking people can and do f*ck themselves over sometimes with horrible presentation whether it's body language, mindset, or their general personality. I mentioned a cousin of mine here on the forums a few years back who women went gaga over when they saw him online, then ran for the hills when they met him in person. Shitty body language, shy, zero assertiveness, quiet, wouldn't know what flirting was if it came up and sodomized him, etc.

As someone who has met you, I can say I still see no reason why just your height is causing you so many problems. I'm not going to bullshit you and say you've got it just as easy as someone six feet or taller in height, but I'm also not going to bullshit you with a f*ckload of phony and hokey Tony Robbins inspirational talk to make you feel good about yourself. That's not who I am. If I really thought you had no chance, I'd simply keep my mouth shut.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 435
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Posted: 7/10/2017 9:31:22 PM
BTW Hawking, good primary pic. I suggest using that on Tinder, as opposed to a personals site like this that also carries attributes.

But if personality is all that matters, how do you differentiate between friends and romantic interests?

Yeah, good point. Too many people think (ie want to believe) that personality is pretty much all that matters, to avoid superficiality (on themselves in society). Personality is pretty much all that matters in terms of becoming friends with someone vs not -- but no, not with romantic interests. The world would be a Vastly different place, if that were the case.

most people just look at someone and either decide there’s a chance or there’s no chance, and if there’s a chance, THEN they start checking on all the personality and character traits

That's how it works, whether that decision is subconscious or not. It could be a back-of-the-mind Yes/No/Maybe-So... but unless they are in a social position to get to know their personality regardless, they aren't going to if it's not a Yes. If they are in said social position, it could turn a Maybe-So into a Yes in dating. That's why it's important for you to utilize your female friends, from a visual aspect, to start conversation with other gals seeing you do get (attractive) female attention. And to spread your wings getting to know more people outside your current social circle. It's not instinctive to do, and doesn't happen over night, but ya gotta do that, man.

I think the toughest lesson in life I learned is that nothing you can change about yourself will actually change you or your prospects, because you will always be you.

Oh, I HIGHLY HIGHLY disagree with this, man. It's life trends, unfortunately, that that will be pretty much so for many individuals. But you Do change over time, whether you like it or not. Do you want to help control that in certain ways at a more accelerated pace, not going by your gut -- or let life itself change you slowly over time in a non-bettering way?

Then why did that “win” basically feel like a consolation prize?

Because you have a low self-esteem and you want to be how you think things are.

Yeah, I got the hottest body and no dates for nearly 11 years – that really adds up.

It should actually be an alarm bell: *I* am doing something wrong. It's NOT just the market! Someone should have splashed a bunch of cold ocean water on ya then. :)

None of these things really matter. I’m still just me. Height-wise, personality-wise, character-wise.

You can't change your height -- although you can a bit, which when real short can give you an edge you need (shoes that raise your height a bit) -- but you Can change your attitude and view on it that's so stubbornly locked in. There are ALSO guys in your short range, WITHOUT Nearly as good looking a body getting base hits. Don't blame this on everything else and that there's nothing you can do. You Can. Wake up! (Dammit, I don't have any buckets of water handy!)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 436
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Posted: 7/11/2017 10:17:00 AM
I wouldn't tell a blind person how to cope with being blind , how life can actually be ok being blind if you just have the right attitude because.....I bet they'd rather hear it from someone who is actually blind and knows what it's actually like to BE blind , etc


Some people should just know how to shut the fuck up sometimes and give it a rest already
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 437
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Posted: 7/11/2017 10:21:08 AM

I mentioned a cousin of mine here on the forums a few years back who women went gaga over when they saw him online, then ran for the hills when they met him in person. Shitty body language, shy, zero assertiveness, quiet, wouldn't know what flirting was if it came up and sodomized him, etc.


Yup. I have a friend, 6'5", good looking, makes a ton of $$, good job security.....couldn't be more clueless on how to attract a woman. High powered job, yet passive and quiet with women.

I recently set up an appearance through other friends to have an attractive (hawt!!), age appropriate, life-stage appropriate woman to come to an event, then invited him. WHere I screwed up was to tell him she would be there, and could be a prospect. He then backed out. Too much pressure on him, he said. What if they didn't hit it off? Too awkward, he said.

Inventing any reason, any justification, to not take a risk.

AARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 438
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Posted: 7/11/2017 11:14:11 AM

I wouldn't tell a blind person how to cope with being blind , how life can actually be ok being blind if you just have the right attitude because.....I bet they'd rather hear it from someone who is actually blind and knows what it's actually like to BE blind , etc


Some people should just know how to shut the **** up sometimes and give it a rest already


This may come as a shock, but short people aren't the only people who face unchangeable adversities in life. The fact of the matter is, you can either consider yourself defeated and b*tch for the rest of your life on a dating site forum for years on end, or you can keep trying new things until something sticks.

Furthermore, "short" can be a matter of perspective, being completely blind can't.

But hey, you know what? I'm sure I'm hallucinating the countless times I see short men (who don't have nearly the build Hawking does) with women. So, by all means, carry on with the gloom and doom.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 439
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Posted: 7/11/2017 11:24:37 AM
Pig my point is this :

A short guy would rather hear words of inspiration from another guy who is short who found a way to succeed vs hearing it from a guy who is tall


Pretty simple
 DirteeJohn
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 440
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Posted: 7/11/2017 11:48:34 AM
Do snakes have testicles?

vvvvv

My dad has bigger testicles then your dad.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 441
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Posted: 7/11/2017 11:52:08 AM
^^^^
They have two penises.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 442
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Posted: 7/11/2017 12:39:31 PM
"They have two penises."

Does that mean they like having threesomes?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 443
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Posted: 7/11/2017 12:42:50 PM
BCC
A short guy

I don't get this. You are 5' 9", and good-looking. Yet you seem to identify as A Short Man. For what it's worth, I have never thought of you that way, from your pics. As far as

words of inspiration from another guy who is short who found a way to succeed

my most recent boyfriend is 5'6", and I find him very attractive. (I'm 5'4" fyi.)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 444
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Posted: 7/11/2017 12:43:22 PM

My dad has bigger testicles then your dad.

I have no idea the size of my father's testicles. It is unsettling that you do.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 445
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Posted: 7/11/2017 12:56:49 PM

Pig my point is this :

A short guy would rather hear words of inspiration from another guy who is short who found a way to succeed vs hearing it from a guy who is tall


Pretty simple


If they're both giving the same advice, who it's coming from is irrelevant. I don't have to fight the same battle as someone else in order to empathize and understand what is likely holding them back. I've learned many a lesson from those who weren't necessarily in the same position I was in. Choosing to defy someone simply because you don't feel they can relate is foolish and stubborn, and life is way too uncertain for him to just *wait* for a successful short guy to come along and inspire him.

As I said, I've met him. He's articulate, well-educated, can carry a conversation and keep it compelling, etc. However, the approach between him and other shorts guy is very likely night and day.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 446
Men's height vs women's weight
Posted: 7/11/2017 2:17:34 PM
Learn something new daily. hemipenes. But each one only has one snake ( or lizard) ball.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 447
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Posted: 7/11/2017 2:32:13 PM

my most recent boyfriend is 5'6", and I find him very attractive. (I'm 5'4" fyi.)


Doesn't that still make him TALLER than you?

When some of us start seeing a similar number of couples where the woman is taller than the man, as much as the other way around, we will stop bringing up the subject.


words of inspiration from another guy who is short who found a way to succeed


“Shall we allow our audacious enemies to violate with impunity the territory of the Republic? Will you permit the army to escape which has carried terror into your families? You will not. March, then, to meet him. Tear from his brows the laurels he has won. Teach the world that a malediction attends those that violate the territory of the Great People. The result of our efforts will be unclouded glory, and a durable peace.”

-Napoleon Bonaparte, June 14, 18oo, to his troops before the Battle Of Marengo
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 448
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Posted: 7/11/2017 3:51:56 PM
“Presentation is everything. Good looking people can and do f*ck themselves over sometimes with horrible presentation whether it's body language, mindset, or their general personality. I mentioned a cousin of mine here on the forums a few years back who women went gaga over when they saw him online, then ran for the hills when they met him in person.”

The fact that women don’t go “gaga” when they see me online feels like the ultimate failure. My real life personality is undoubtedly flawed and, surprisingly given my history with women, I’m not overwhelmingly flowing with confidence when it comes to them. And I’ve never been the “life of the party” kind of guy and never will be. So I get that in real life, I’m generally going to have some problems establishing chemistry even with the rare women who don’t care much about height and don’t think I’m ugly. But I’m a very good writer (though that really isn’t all that important in OLD outside of those in these forums) and literally work in marketing – my marketing campaign was largely responsible for our low budget indie flick getting international distributor attention and being as huge of a success as it was. And I’ve studied OLD to death – I literally did a scientific research paper on it in college. Yet on site after site after site and year after year after year: almost no views for my profiles, much less emails, and at a rate the typical man would sneer at. Yeah, I realize I’m not typical. But it just gets worse and worse every year, which I do realize is a function of there being less and less single women close to my age every year, but understanding the statistics of it doesn’t make it any less depressing.

Unfortunately, despite these experiences and OLD automatically being heavily skewed against short men (and non-white people for that matter), it still appears to be my best avenue to meet single women. I haven’t met a single woman in real life above the age of 25 in at least 3 years, even though I usually meet thousands of females every year through work and hobbies and my social circle. I met dozens this past week at the beach – all married or under the age of 25 (most under the age of 18 – yeah, pretty much the daughters of my friends). This is not a great market for meeting single younger middle-aged women, and furthermore, even if I do meet one, I’m in a completely different place in life from most of them, since I’ve never been married (heck, I’ve never lived with a woman or arguably been in a normal real relationship at all) and have no children. And the older I get, the further away from normal my situation is.

Even when I was young and there were many single childless women close to my age, I pretty much needed OLD just to cast as wide of a net as possible to find those extremely rare young women that were fine with my atypical appearance – I rarely ever found one living around the corner (despite a million people living in my twin cities area), I had to drive like 30 to 60 miles to meet most of them, because they’re like needles in a haystack. Now they’re like needles in a haystack... inside a much larger haystack. Because all the truly open-minded women got snatched up and never let go by smart guys. No offense to any women reading this thread, but who’s really left single and childless in their 40s? Mostly the pickiest women on earth. Nobody in that category is going to look at me and say “That’s what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.” I do hope one day to hear “Well, I give up – I’ll take the boring short mixed weird-looking guy with an education, motivation and a job because at least he doesn’t sit around all day playing video games and smoking pot.”

“I see you're in Tampa. I would think there are some shorter folks there that are Spanish”

My best friend is Cuban (well, 3 generations American now – which means she’s pretty much American). That hasn’t been even remotely helpful. Cubans are average height or taller. Mexican and Central American skew shorter. I know lots of Cuban-Americans – I don’t know any Mexican-Americans, even though there is a large Mexican population here.

Interesting thing about my best friend: she’s same height as me; her grandfather (the Cuban immigrant) was about the same height as both of us. But she’s so Americanized that she has never dated a guy less than 6 feet tall (both of her husbands are well over 6 feet tall) and almost no Hispanics. The more Americanized someone becomes, the more their attractions become Americanized.

“BTW Hawking, good primary pic.”

I have a couple similar ones of me smiling but felt like, as usual with smiling pics, I looked quite goofy. “Tough guy” pics seem to get more interest than “nice guy” pics anyway – most studies say that about guys on OLD (women are a whole other story – I don’t usually find non-smiling women very appealing).

“But hey, you know what? I'm sure I'm hallucinating the countless times I see short men (who don't have nearly the build Hawking does) with women. So, by all means, carry on with the gloom and doom.”

“Short” is definitely a matter of perspective. My best friend in college (not same one currently) one day ran up to me screaming “You’d be so proud of me – I’m actually dating a short guy!” This after she realized while talking to me about my issues that she (who was also 5’4”) had only dated 6 foot and taller guys her entire life. Then I met the guy she was talking about and he was almost a half foot taller than me, making him about 5’9” or 5’10”. You know, exactly average.

Obviously I’m more observant about this than most people – I can count the number of adult men short as me that I come across in a single year on my hands. And most of them are Hispanic or Asian. I am in the bottom 1 percentile of American male heights – if you meet 100 random men, 99 of them are going to be taller than me – maybe not a lot taller than me, but taller than me nevertheless. I can’t even recall the last time I was in a room and wasn’t the shortest guy in it (thanks to high heels, I’m usually the shortest PERSON in it). I have 200 co-workers, and the second shortest male is about 5’7”. Nearly all the celebrities you think are short are taller than me: Prince, Kevin Hart, Dudley Moore (2 of which are dead) are about it among the exceptions. And every inch counts for most women. I’m not saying there aren’t some men out there (who aren’t rich and famous) who are the same height as me that aren’t doing great with the ladies (whatever happened to Tom?), but I think your perspective on what is truly short can be skewed by one’s tall height, where you start to see every man more than 3 or 4 inches shorter than you as “short.”

As for the original topic you were addressing, it is extremely rare I’ve come across dating advice from another truly short man. Years ago one guy my height (but much older) posted in the forums in a height thread, claiming to have never had many dating issues, but he had no explanation as to why. I do think many years ago short guys were in a much better position, because first of all, people actually were shorter in general (the average teen girl today is a couple inches taller than her grandmother), but also, women were less independent and being a good breadwinner was often a more important trait to them than appearances. In modern times, most women don’t feel like they “need” a man for much of any reason, so why date someone you’re not fully attracted to?

But I don’t know – it’s tough to say if advice from a successful short man would be that much more meaningful than that of a tall successful man, because every man is different, even those of the same height. I’ve said before that although height is certainly my biggest negative attribute for dating, I’m really a perfect storm of negative attributes. If I was JUST short, then I’d have challenges and certainly the vast majority of women taller than me (which is over half of all women) would automatically not be interested, but that’d still theoretically leave a few million women in this country that were shorter and didn’t care about my height. But then you have to start filtering out the ones that won’t date black men, the ones that think my face is ugly, the ones that don’t like muscular guys or guys skinnier than they are, the ones that won’t date me because of my culture or language issues, the ones that won’t date someone my age, the ones that won’t date someone my religion (or more like non-religion), the ones that won’t date or are leery of dating childless men this old, the ones I don’t make enough money for, the handful that I’m actually not smart enough for, the ones I’m not funny enough for, the ones I’m not nice enough for or mean enough for, the ones that don’t think we have enough in common, the ones I’ll just never meet because of lack of geographical proximity... you just keep filtering until you eventually get to essentially nothing, which is much easier to do than the average guy because I start with such a low number to begin with.

And none of that even takes into consideration what *I* like. Back when there were so many single women close to my age that I actually COULD occasionally find one left after all that filtering -- lo and behold, I often had no interest in her whatsoever. But usually dated her anyway. That’s just how it is when you’re a perfect storm of negative attributes, including the most negative one in all of dating (statistically speaking): You date people you don’t like, or shouldn’t be dating, until there is no one left to date, then you go dateless for 10+ years.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 449
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Men's height vs women's weight
Posted: 7/11/2017 4:14:17 PM
Back in the day, it was said that people coming to the US would have taller children, maybe due to better nutrition. Could be why some shorter nationalities are taller now.

Of course it doesn't help that you're 39, if one wants to be picky, but so many women are back on the market due to divorce. If you don't put a push on finding someone, the next classification of available women will be widowers, then there really will be less available women.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 450
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Men's height vs women's weight
Posted: 7/11/2017 5:10:36 PM

-Napoleon Bonaparte, June 14, 18oo, to his troops before the Battle Of Marengo

Actually, Napoleon wasn't a short guy. That part's a myth. In French units back then, he was 5'2" -- but not OUR 5'2". That French measurement was different. He was 5.6.5". Short by today's standards, but slightly above average back then, which is all that matters when you point out someone to be "tall" or "short", of course.

“You’d be so proud of me – I’m actually dating a short guy!” .... was almost a half foot taller than me, making him about 5’9” or 5’10”. You know, exactly average.

Yeah, it varies from region to region what average height is -- which is also a matter of (environmental) perspective -- but being about 5'10" is average, yeah.

I do think many years ago short guys were in a much better position, because first of all, people actually were shorter in general (the average teen girl today is a couple inches taller than her grandmother)

It's a combination of both things: Years ago, yes -- less array of proteins and such when growing up to grow maximally ... And you shrink when you get older. So when you look at grandmaw @75, she's going to be shorter than she was @25. So you do get sort of a double-dose. Not to say that everyone "back then" was short. Once we threw McDs in Japan, their height grew. Lesson: Eat McDonalds at an early age. You'll grow tall not just horizontally, but vertically too. ;)

But then you have to start filtering out the ones that won’t date black men, the ones that think my face is ugly, the ones that don’t like muscular guys or guys skinnier than they are, the ones that won’t date me because of my culture or language issues, the ones that won’t date someone my age, the ones that won’t date someone my religion (or more like non-religion), the ones that won’t date or are leery of dating childless men this old, the ones I don’t make enough money for, the handful that I’m actually not smart enough for, the ones I’m not funny enough for, the ones I’m not nice enough for or mean enough for, the ones that don’t think we have enough in common, the ones I’ll just never meet because of lack of geographical proximity...

Your filter's too harsh on it's outlook. Look, there's guys 5'4" who get girls. I can refer you to one who's about that short for crying out loud. You have an in-shape body, which is what you need for your own tastes. You're the only person under 5'7" under 50, who's clearly in-shape in a masculine way -- and uber-dateless. And I'm including guys not in great shape, too.

- You have to be willing to be Shot Down. Over and Over again. Even though usually when approaching right, you're not being SHOT down, but you pick up the Real hint even with fears set aside, before you would be.

- You have to go again and again and again. Be happy batting like a pitcher in the National League, his rookie year, just out of high school.

- Get shoes that extend your height a bit. Every inch counts, as you say -- and when hitting up short gals, it makes the difference.

- Start conversations all the time with gals IRL who are about as tall as you in heels, or obviously shorter.

- Realize that over 50% of the time you get shot down, even if you were way taller (average height), you'd still be shot down anyway. Many Many guys do.

- Utilize your attractive female friends as bait.

Your argument is basically "Why I Don't Try; Why I Don't Want to Try". You don't like getting shot down. That's why. (Drink Bud Dry)
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