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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman      Home login  
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 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 26
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & GentlemanPage 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

I will say that the people coming out of cars with disabled placards are walking fine.


One should never judge someone with a disabled placard who can walk. I knew a man whose father had Parkinson's Disease, and couldn't drive a car. He had to take his father to the doctor several times a week and pick him up from his appointments. Some woman once said something to him in the parking lot, wherein he told her about his father's condition. Not that it was any of her damn business.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 27
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Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 12:18:24 AM
I agree, I think my point was lost as I was referring to someone's comment on how a pregnant woman shouldn't ever be considered disabled. I agree, a person who drives could be driving the disabled person, but they should not use a disabled spot if the disabled person isn't with them.
 meowzing
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 28
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 1:02:59 AM
In response to the original questions presented-

When chivalry takes me on a date I do respond well as I prefer southern gentlemen. I don't always wish to be an equal when it comes to romance. Why? I like letting my femininity fly, feeling free to be myself without the current American social constructs of "liberalism". I enjoy the old fashioned notions of dating, and being more conservative in that area.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 6:40:25 AM
^^^If society was different, where it was traditionally up to the woman to do the asking out and paying for dates, would you still enjoy being old fashioned and traditional?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 30
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Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 7:16:18 AM

If society was different, where it was traditionally up to the woman to do the asking out and paying for dates, would you still enjoy being old fashioned and traditional?

How is following the rule of "you who asks out, pays" being anything BUT old fashioned and traditional? Big deal if sex roles are reversed - it's still an ancient and stupid rule. Funny how 'Equality' takes a dump when someone is 'required' to make the first move - and pay for it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 8:19:05 AM
Someone mentioned to me that good manners have been in decline, and I posited that the increase in population (AKA Baby Boom) theoretically increases the amount of idiots found in any population. Then there was the experiment with the ME generation that just never went away. They teach their children to act nice, rather than how to be nice, b/c it makes for less disciplinary problems. who doesn't want an obedient child? Then along comes the Yuppie generation, followed by the internet, where we are all allowed to let our ID run loose. Poor behavior in traffic I suppose comes from increased safety equipment. One British (?) commentator said the best invention for cars would be to replace the airbag in the steering wheel with a long spike pointed right at the driver's chest. When the fool tailgates and makes a sudden stop...they'll literally get the point, that their behavior has sudden consequences.

(ironically, should there ever be a backlash against bad manners...it will start as a "trend" on twitter or FB and spread like wildfire that way)

Respecting others comes from self respect. If you don't like yourself, you may fake manners for others in order to have them like you. But there will be enough opportunities where your true nature comes out. In our consumer world, how many people have to respect themselves? They can run out and buy something new and shiny in order to feel better (temporarily). You don't need to buy on your honor at the local general store, you can whip out your credit card instead. your word no longer needs to be your bond.

My late Marine uncle served in Korea and Vietnam, but lost his leg to diabetes. He had some strong sentiment about Handicap Parking and those who took it over...until his wife drove his car with his sticker in the Carolinas. If she didn't use the spot, it could get questioned why she was so dumb to walk and not use the advantage. if she did use it...you get the idea. "someone" had an opinion to express. Might as well let the universe settle things out, I find that people who act like jerks, end up getting their come-uppance somewhere in life. somehow their attitude bites them back, I don't need to be scorekeeper.

as for "who asks, who pays", I guess that's yet another reason the first date should be simple, and designed to get to know the person, not impress their underwear off. figure out what you're dealing with first, and then you can figure out what should be spent on future dates. I can look back on my youth, there were some women who expressed obvious interest and I lost them b/c I kept hearing my mom's voice about how I had to court a woman, couldn't just sleep with her. well, these ladies might possibly have been ready for Netflix and Chill, I didn't need to "impress" them.
 meowzing
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 32
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 8:40:01 AM
^ Love your post :)

I have paid for many dates, but that is NOT what the OP asked. I was addressing my personal preferences based on the questions presented. In general I find the payment for entertaining activities to be more regional specific, than gender specific. Here in NY who asks pays unless its agreed to be a shared expense. In the mid-west its a toss up. In the north west my dates expected to go "dutch" every time we went out. In the south, true gentlemen find it offensive to even have a woman offer. They certainly wont ask her out again. Values are alive and well thank goodness not because of who pays, but because of the manners that go with them.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 33
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 9:07:07 AM
^^^^^ I didn't












Messages this short may not be posted.....^^^^^ HEY ! NO FAIR !
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 34
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 9:41:49 AM

In the south, true gentlemen find it offensive to even have a woman offer. They certainly wont ask her out again.


I lived in Atlanta, GA up until 2015, and didn't find this to be true. If any man got offended by my offer to chip in, he never once expressed it to me. Most men actually appreciated my offers to contribute, but declined--and most of them did ask me out again. If a man ever acted offended, I would think he had control issues, and I wouldn't want to see him again.

It may be more of an age thing rather than a regional thing. The men I dated were all in their late fifties and early sixties.
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 35
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 9:51:58 AM
"Ladies when Equality and then Chivalry takes you on a date (all things being absolutely equal) who wins?

Guys when you go on a date with Femininity and another date with Feminism (both dates being totally the same) who makes you feel more gentlemanly?

What's the difference between a man and a gentleman?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Equality IMO is for school, the workplace, the law, etc.
Chivalry is for romantic relationships.

I dated men & the 2 men I married were gentlemen. I wouldn't give a 2nd thought to a man who was a gentleman, & this has nothing to do w/ gold digging, etc.

A gentleman cares about his woman, her comfort, security & peace of mind.
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 36
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 9:56:10 AM

Call me a pig, but I figure pregnant women DECIDED to be pregnant so suck it up.
I don't understand (it is the pig in me) how a women can choose to lung around a pregnant belly, then **** about it.


I wouldn't call you a pig. I'd call you a salty little old lady who's never experienced the joys of motherhood.

With my two pregnancies I waited until I couldn't hide it anymore to my co-workers 'cause most people empathize with a woman carrying another life in her womb and tend to coddle. Concern of miscarriage at the start then an effort to comfort toward the end is what I noticed. I just wanted them to stop touching my belly and leave me alone so I could do my job.

My point being is that most women do "suck it up". Those special parking spots for the pregs are a kind gesture the same as the special parking spots for vets. The handicapped spots require a special placard or license plate and those who have them get them with a note from their doctor saying they need it. I'm sure if a pregnant woman complained enough about her back, feet and/or leg pain enough to her OBGYN..it would be easy for her to get one.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 37
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Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 10:26:56 AM
" I'd call you a salty little old lady who's never experienced the joys of motherhood. "

You say that like it is a bad thing.

I too am sure that if a pregnant women was medically ill, she would qualify for disabled sticker.

I still can't understand why people have problems at the thought that it is possible and imo better, to be both kind/considerate, and still treat their s/o as an equal. Imo, being an equal and being kind and considerate (feminine) is normal to most.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 38
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 10:35:05 AM
OP why does there have to be a winner on a date? Is that really what dating boils down to winning and losing who one ups the other?

Neither a woman will never make me feel more gentlemanly as that is not even within something she can control it's about how I feel when I am with her in that regard.

The difference between man and a gentleman interesting question that will get various opinions and views. Only thing I could say is you need to pay attention.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 39
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Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 10:55:39 AM
I'm pretty much in the middle on this. I like opening doors and pulling chairs. If she doesn't let me do these things and gives me the equality/independence speech, I will definitely be turned off. Just go with the flow.

OP...I love my Pistachio Gelato, too...
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 40
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 12:46:06 PM
Maybe I just don't get the question.
You can be a feminist AND feminine.
You can be a man who believes in equality AND in treating people with a little more courtesy.

Why do people think it must be an either/or situation?
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 41
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 1:14:40 PM
I'm not sure the obsession with reproduction but I do get that you could be decent to a pregnant lady. I wouldn't say I'd go way out of my way to treat them special and all but if I happened upon one then ok I might decide to hold a door or give them a seat. However I don't blame someone who doesn't or believe they got to have a bunch of special treatment or such. I'm kind of with moraima on this. Also where is the dad? I know I had to do all sorts of sh!t like shave a b1tches legs and sh!t. Get what she comes up with out of nowhere at midnight. That's part of the fun isn't it? I guess for some women it is the greatest accomplishment in their lives but it isn't really that big of a deal any living thing can reproduce and all animals give birth I mean some women need to get a grip about it.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2a/18/ed/2a18ed3206a0319666dc5aab4fdfae9d.jpg
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 42
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 1:22:25 PM

The gentleman is the man who opens doors. Not just for their date but for others as well.

The Gentleman is the man with manners. It really is that basic and simple.


I agree. That goes for women as well.


As for the whole who pays debate. The woman should never expect a man to pay and if a man is to pay it should be because he wants to not because it is expected of him. Again it really is that simple.


Agreed.


I find the payment for entertaining activities to be more regional specific, than gender specific. Here in NY who asks pays unless its agreed to be a shared expense. In the mid-west its a toss up. In the north west my dates expected to go "dutch" every time we went out. In the south, true gentlemen find it offensive to even have a woman offer. They certainly wont ask her out again.


If anything, I think this is more about age than geography. Younger women ( in general ) are more willing to split the bill without thinking a man is "cheap" or not a "gentlemen".
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 43
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Posted: 5/25/2017 3:50:33 PM

^^^^^ I didn't

Me neither.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 44
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 3:52:58 PM
^^^^^


"Me neither."



What's up with that anyway ?
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 45
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 6:00:58 PM
^^^^^Your new pic...Chuck. I had to look twice 'cause I thought you had gotten a mohawk.



I still can't understand why people have problems at the thought that it is possible and imo better, to be both kind/considerate, and still treat their s/o as an equal. Imo, being an equal and being kind and considerate (feminine) is normal to most.


Me neither.

All this "who" opens/holds the door, pulls the chair out or pays first doesn't really mean much to me. They're just nice gestures...much like the reserved parking for pregs and vets.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 46
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 6:20:16 PM
^^^

Not a Mohawk , Crazy butt , just the angle of the pic.

Back to the drawing board.

Sigh
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 47
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 6:49:07 PM
^^^^^I think it's the lighting in the room you're standing in. It's hard to tell if you have eyebrows and you sorta look a bit sunburned, too. Kuddos for not wearing a hat in your pics, Chuck.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 48
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 6:54:52 PM
^^^^

Um.....Judo for you not wearing hats in your pix Crazy Butt


?????






In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 49
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Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/25/2017 8:15:35 PM
Respecting others starts with self respect.
Very true.

I think the question to ask about all this is...
Are you trying to live up to a label, or are you trying to live for a healthy relationship with another person?

Big freakin' deal what 'society' thinks makes up good manners. That's fishing for status, an upgrade, some sort of social improvement for yourself - NOT a seat next to that special him, or her.

Some find happiness on the back of a motorcycle with bugs in their teeth, beer on their breath, a hairstyle that's probably been named 'the hurricane' at one time, and plenty of four-letter words in their vocabulary. Where these ten-dollar words fit into THAT situation? Who really cares?!?

Treating your common man/woman with respect and decency is always a preferred way to live - but how that gets DEFINED by the parties involved is anyone's guess. People that feel they 'know' the right way are usually the most anti-social and self-involved people out there - including me.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 50
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/26/2017 2:26:47 AM
A gent is a man who has been brought up the right way, with good manners, polite, has self respect and not the type to say vulgar things or do vulgar things...other types of guys are the players, rude, controlling, crude, irresponsible and selfish.

Femininity is a beautiful thing and sadly lacking in modern society? A fair number of Women these days want to be too much like men and lose their femininity...it's not attractive for a female to walk, talk, dress and act like a man...nope the days when a woman falls helplessly into a mans arms, stares into his eyes and begs him to kiss her are not put of societies plans...

The good old days when women were complete, had love for men, displayed their femininity and were happy, are becoming a thing of the past and both genders are suffering...
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