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 pofman666
Joined: 10/5/2016
Msg: 126
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Bait and SwitchPage 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I wouldn't start asking about a second date while I'm on the first - that puts too much pressure on.

When the date ends, agree to msg each other later, and take it from there. If it's going to happen, it will happen. If it won't, it won't.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 127
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/27/2017 12:20:49 PM

I wouldn't start asking about a second date while I'm on the first - that puts too much pressure on.


Same here. Some women will say yes when they aren't interested because they don't want to reject a man face to face and have a potential confrontation. Also some people can claim to be interested and change their mind after they had some time to reflect on the date. If I want another date, I can contact her 1-2 days after the previous date.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 128
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/27/2017 9:00:09 PM

Some women will say yes when they aren't interested because they don't want to reject a man face to face and have a potential confrontation.

Yeah, and to be put on the spot when their interest is still waivering, doing so can more likely push them away from it. But you don't have to put anyone on the spot, but "plant a seed" can increase the chance. If you're hitting it off well, many times a "we should hang out again sometime" -- Before the date's even done -- is common. Top that off with a end-date kiss (@night) and/or walk to the car, with a "I'll talk to you soon"... it's not pressure at all, but natural when the date was going great.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 129
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 8:26:47 AM
Meh.. Height is only one factor. I am 5'2" so a man 5'9" lines up with all the goodie parts quite well when we're knocking our boots. I would much prefer dating a good guy that's 5'8" than an asshat that is 6'. I think woman tend to think taller man, bigger deck? I don't know but it is not necessarily true. I could prove it but I deleted all those pics back in 2012.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 130
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 8:44:43 AM

I think woman tend to think taller man, bigger deck?

Apparently not all women. Just saw this on my twitter feed!

https://twitter.com/CNNOriginals/status/879758030006603776
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 131
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 10:48:14 AM
for the women who like tall men...see below...don't drool too much...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL_nklbytbY
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 132
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 11:01:38 AM
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/tallest-man-living
He stands at (8 ft 2.8 in) a dream come true for many women...imagine when you walked into a room with him...you will always be the centre of attention if you're with this guy...I bet he must have thousands of women looking to date him, every day and if you like guys with mustles...here you are...hold onto your hearts...because they are going to be out of control - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf7ESfYG03M
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 133
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 9:01:33 PM
We all "know" that a man's height when using OLD is a magic ticket.

Too bad it's just one of many popular Forum MYTHS.

One thing is undoubtedly true though. HEIGHT does make a mighty convenient excuse for many.

Without a doubt, since magazines started being printed, there has likely been hundreds of polls in various women's magazines geared to women of all ages and tastes.

Neither a man's HEIGHT or his "looks" are seldom at the top of most women's wish list. NOT very surprising given a female's most basic programming - to find "good father" material which gives her the best chance to carry on her own bloodline.

There has also been a few threads over the years both here and at DH which support this.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 134
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/28/2017 10:34:46 PM
I definitely don't think height is the deciding factor. It's on the list, but not #1.

It is harder for a shorter man to find someone since his prospects are diminished by possibly only dating women under his own height. A charming guy that is a gentleman wins the race most times. How many women would put height in front of kindness and moral character? Of course one can only look at the guy's statistics on a POF profile before thinking to write or respond. That's why good pics are important and a decent profile. Here's where a good message can make a difference, even though it's thought to not work. If I was a guy, I would fire on all cylinders and get it all right. I don't believe in doing anything half @ss.

I'm 5'-4". I don't often wear heels, but would like a guy to be a few inches taller than me when I wear them. So that would mean a guy should roughly be 5'-11", but I've dated shorter men. 5'-9" is good as close to a minimum. I really wouldn't prefer anyone taller than 6'.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 135
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/29/2017 9:57:31 AM
For OLD, I think pictures are often #1 and height is # 2 for some women. Other women may have things like common interests or education level or smoking ahead of height. But height might still be in the top 5. Of course personality is important as well. But that can't always be gleaned from a profile.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 136
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Posted: 6/29/2017 10:22:19 AM
pfffffffffffft I am 5'2". I just want him to be taller than me. Not a lot to ask for. In fact I don't even give height a thought. I guess being so short it isn't something I think about - it's just not on my radar.

My biggest issue is finding men who have a similar mindset. My way of thinking isn't the norm in these parts. I don't want to go muddin' or huntin' and listen to Rush on the radio on the way to church. *shrug*
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 137
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/29/2017 10:36:49 AM

pfffffffffffft I am 5'2". I just want him to be taller than me. Not a lot to ask for. In fact I don't even give height a thought. I guess being so short it isn't something I think about - it's just not on my radar.


Short women can be very sexy and most can make up for height, with warm personalities, but extreme body hair would be a red flag on any woman though;) I do like little ladies:) I feel like I can hold then in my arms and keep them safe, but taller women are a turn off to me and some are very arrogant too
Does anyone know the average height of women and men?
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 138
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/29/2017 10:39:57 AM
I have a mild preference for taller men. But it's not a requirement or near the top of my list. There are plenty of things on a profile that I consider to be more important.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 139
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Posted: 6/29/2017 10:52:37 AM

I definitely don't think height is the deciding factor. It's on the list, but not #1.



but would like a guy to be a few inches taller than me when I wear them.


So that would mean a guy should roughly be 5'-11",


5'-9" is good as close to a minimum.


Bringing up numbers and "would like" and "should be" and "minimum" are still making it the deciding factor, versus an attitude of "I don't care what height a guy is", period.


pfffffffffffft I am 5'2". I just want him to be taller than me.


Again, "taller than me" is a deciding factor.
5' 6" is taller than you now, so should work according to your statement, but would 5' 6" work if you were 5' 8"?

And if you want to try to turn it around on me, I'm 5' 8" and have dated women from 4' 10" to 5' 10" in height. And would go taller if a taller woman was interested.


How many women would put height in front of kindness and moral character?


Plenty here in Southern California.
Lots of height requirements in profiles, thereby dismissing people long before finding out about kindness and moral character.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 140
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Posted: 6/29/2017 11:13:59 AM

Again, "taller than me" is a deciding factor.
5' 6" is taller than you now, so should work according to your statement, but would 5' 6" work if you were 5' 8"?

Well I just spent a bit shy of a year dating a man who is 5'6" so clearly it wasn't an issue. I am only talking about myself. Taller than me means taller than 5'2" which is how tall I am. I don't think I will wake up in the morning and suddenly be taller. I have no idea how it would work if I were taller. I'm not. I can't speak for anyone else be they 5'8", 4'11" , or 6'6".
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 141
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/29/2017 11:35:07 AM

Does anyone know the average height of women and men?


In the United States...
Men - About 5' 9"
Women - About 5' 4"
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 142
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Posted: 6/29/2017 2:08:21 PM
It's 5'10" for Caucasian adult males.
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 143
Bait and Switch
Posted: 6/29/2017 3:33:01 PM

It's 5'10" for Caucasian adult males.


It's also 5' 10" for black men and 5' 8" for Hispanic and Asian men in the US. The overall average in the US for adult males is probably around 5' 9" or 5' 9.5"
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 144
Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 9:14:42 AM

At 12 noon I may decide to get a burger. At 12:01 I may decide a burger is not going to hit the spot and I don't want it, so I don't get it. I'm not thinking about dinner or lunch tomorrow - I'm thinking RIGHT NOW this is NOT what I want, so I stop pursuing it.


Or when people arrive at the restaurant, they look at the menu and decide they want something else instead of a hamburger. That is similar to what can happen with internet dating.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 145
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Posted: 7/8/2017 11:50:03 AM

I definitely don't think height is the deciding factor. It's on the list, but not #1.

It certainly can be very much so -- and we're not talking takes-a-midget to have a cut off of no-way that takes no thought. But yeah, not being tall (but not short) while being taller than she in her heels -- yeah, it's "just on the list" then.

For OLD, I think pictures are often #1 and height is # 2 for some women.

I don't think it's usually like that tho. I think it's more it's own bubble, and won't be thought of if they're solidly in their height-taste range. That's why many gals will think it Doesn't matter much -- because, for example with some, with so many guys, no, it's not something they're concerned about, because he's taller than her and they're sizing him, as with many others, up in other aspects. But it has a very Distinct cut-off, especially Online where we go by the "bullet points" more than IRL: "No, I don't date anyone less than 2" taller than me." No thought There, either. I think it's when it's borderline, is when the thought comes in (ex for a non-short gal - "He's hardly taller than me [me in my everyday heels], but he Is cute").

I think the main thing is -- it can be a non-factor in many guys assessed, but it becomes in it's own bubble a cut-off/no-way without a thought -- hence the not-so-accurate impression to themselves that it ain't-no-thang. Many relatively Short gals won't think about it much because the height-thing's all-good with so many guys.... but you show her Jim, although no "hunk", he's otherwise decently attractive & totally in her league in looks, she instantly "swipes left" IRL and online because he's only as tall as her in her heels, if that. He'd need something "Wow" to stand out for actual consideration (or bond with him IRL thru work/social-groups in a great way). So it certainly can and Will be #1 with a vast majority of gals... but also may not even be in consideration, as it's usually more of a pass/fail thing.

I'm 5'-4". I don't often wear heels, but would like a guy to be a few inches taller than me when I wear them. So that would mean a guy should roughly be 5'-11"

You want a guy being 7" taller than ya (+1 inch more than a few inches taller than ya in 3-inch heels). So as a slightly below average height gal (US white female: 5'4.5") wanting a guy to be slightly above average height (US white male: 5'10.5"). I understand, that's not your tride & true cut-off, as you'll go 5'9" -- a "mere" 5 inches taller than you as your minimal. :)

Thing is, although that is pretty picky, you're Not all that picky compared to women in general. I think that's why it brings discussions like this about.

I really wouldn't prefer anyone taller than 6'.

So wait -- 5'11" or 6'0" -- anything else is not preferred. You sure about that? Sounds kind of odd, like one would be bringing measuring tape out to the social scene because one has a narrow height-window. :)

How many women would put height in front of kindness and moral character?

Depends on the guy's height. He can be kind & of good moral character -- but that don't mean squat if he's 5'7" to ya. He's cut off. He's only 3" taller than yourself ("Next!"). So in that case, most Certainly height is in front of it, cutting it off regardless of his kindness and such.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 146
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 3:52:27 PM
You go out, you laugh, have a good time, maybe have some light petting/making out, agree that you MUST see each other again kiss goodnight etc and radio silence or "meh" when you contact her about it.
Very likely due to one of the following-

1. She had a great time but it didnt really linger in her mind the next couple days like it had with the other men she`s been with in her life.
She was interested but just not THAT into you.

2. She has other options and although she had a great time with you, she was was 50/50 about seeing you again and she wants to see if she can have a better time with the next one she`s got lined up.

3. She had a great time but the ex showed up and took her away.

4. She seemed like she was having a great time but she really wasnt having a good time. A good actor.

5. Shes had a great time, and shes an attention/dating addict who loves the thrill of the build up before that first meet, the thrill of the unknown involved with meeting someone new, the ego boost from having it go well when you meet, and then repeating that cycle with someone else new.

6. She had a good time with you, but theres another guy that she also had a great time a week ago. A man whom she wondered if she`d hear from again is now knocking on her door for a second date, and her attention is now focused on him.

Now heres something to think about.
It is likely that you`ve been on the other side of this. If you havent, keep dating and you will-

Go out and have a great time with a girl, but it doesnt really linger in your mind very much over the next couple days so you dont feel very strongly compelled to contact her and ask her out again......etc........etc....
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 147
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 4:45:31 PM
^^^ I like what you point out, I agree. I would add to #3 of the ex -- sometimes with the same force, it could be a guy who came into the picture that turned on a light bulb within her, too.

And also, from my POV -- something's that overlooked in the dating field about guys & gals: With some More-Than-Willing-At-The-Time gals (drinks help), if you sleep with them "too early" in their mind when playing Monday Morning QB the next day, it is not always the stereotype that they want to become an item swiftly thereafter -- but more often than people realize, if it wasn't a guy she had something of an actual crush on, nor the sex being a "Wow. Amazing," they'll have a desire to back away. Guilt by association sorta thing. Sometimes being MIA swiftly, sometimes not so much -- one's mileage will vary. Put that into play, and it doesn't take much intensity of any of your bullet points for them to want to walk from it.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 148
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 5:47:53 PM
Yourstillhere, if you go on "said" date, laugh, do some stroking and have a good time, but there is no 2nd date, are you glad for that fun date or do you care less, because you wanted it to be something else? I always want to be a good date and make it enjoyable for both of us, so I walk away somewhat content. I think because of that, I can say I've never had a horrible date in my life. That would even include the date where the guy pushed me over onto a couch and threw himself on me. That was on a first date and I did not go out with him again. I see every date as an adventure:)

NG, understand that when women continue relationships past date #1, it doesn't mean they're getting everything they want. I lived with a guy for years that was about 5'-8". Not the best looking guy either, but he was confident and fun. That was over 30 years ago and we're still friends. About height, I think looks come before height. Now, that's harder to overcome I think than height when a person is just going by a profile. Do you have any height restrictions for how short or tall you'd prefer a woman to be?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 149
Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 6:20:25 PM
Yourstillhere makes some good points. My possible reasons are similar to his.

1. The competition. She is talking to or went out with another man that she likes a little bit better.
2. She is married or in a relationship.
3. She is not ready or available for a relationship. Such as not being completely over an ex.
4. She was interested at the end of the date. Then changed her mind after some reflection about the date.
5. She had lukewarm interest at best. But agreed to another date because she didn't want to reject a man face to face and have a potential confrontation.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 150
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Bait and Switch
Posted: 7/8/2017 8:40:32 PM
[quote I can say I've never had a horrible date in my life. That would even include the date where the guy pushed me over onto a couch and threw himself on me. That was on a first date and I did not go out with him again. I see every date as an adventure:)

Well then...............
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