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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?      Home login  
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 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 426
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?Page 18 of 29    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)

Some guys want to help, as in help themselves into your pants. It's also a money saver to see a woman that way without taking her out someplace. What a bore!


Most guys want an attractive woman they can feel proud to be seen with. If men are not taking you on public outings, in all likelihood, the problem is with you.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 427
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/12/2017 2:28:14 PM

NewYorker58
Some guys want to help, as in help themselves into your pants. It's also a money saver to see a woman that way without taking her out someplace. What a bore!

You’re taking quite a bit of heat over this one. And mostly I’m in agreement with those who are taking you to task over your statement.

But … when I first read your statement, I had a different idea of what you meant. I thought you were speaking of a guy actually offering to help, as in fix the leaking faucet on your sink, and you in turn make him dinner, and just maybe, you both “get lucky”. If that was indeed what you meant, and your reaction to that was “What a bore!”, well …

I personally would rather take an attractive woman out to dinner instead of work on her leaky faucet, but the world is full of men who have more time and mechanical skills than pocket money. And I would never put down anyone in that category.

Underneath it all, either way you meant it, TPOYD has it right – your sex is NOT supposed to be a reward, you are NOT supposed to barter it. But we all know, many women (most women?) do tend to barter it.


halcyon_skies
Most guys want an attractive woman they can feel proud to be seen with.

That has to be one of the most self evident statements that I have ever seen, anywhere, by anyone.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 428
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 7:03:51 AM
NY59 just got her a$$ handed to her!

Hoot!
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 429
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 7:23:18 AM
What ever happened to hanging out with people just because we enjoy their company? Is not consensual sex enjoyable? Life isn't just about what we can get out of it, but what we can give too. Spread the joy of the season year around...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 430
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 7:31:37 AM
"If men are not taking you on public outings, in all likelihood, the problem is with you."

>>>or the fellow's hoping to have sex, which hopefully doesn't occur in public :)

"Whatever happened to hanging out with people because their company is enjoyable?"

>>>I will be the lowlife who admits, some people...don't offer much more than sex. And that's not just women, b/c apparently women will use men for booty calls. I suspect its b/c the guy doesn't really offer a warm personality but he does have a nice warm body. A woman who trades her body, tends to display it as well as she can, which can catch initial attention. Consensual sex can be enjoyable if people are sensual, otherwise it can just feel mechanical. and someone might end up feeling they "gave it away too soon".
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 431
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 7:49:19 AM

Some guys want to help, as in help themselves into your pants. It's also a money saver to see a woman that way without taking her out someplace. What a bore!


Didn't you in another thread make a big deal about what an inexpensive date you are? You detailed how there would be somewhere in the area of less than $10 on a meal spent for you. You were questioned about it and you broke down what you order to prove your point.

Are you actually talking with men who want to come straight to your place for sex in order to save less than $10?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 432
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 7:59:01 AM

I will be the lowlife who admits, some people...don't offer much more than sex


I will be the lowlife who admits to being one of those people.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 433
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 10:03:19 AM

gtomustang
I will be the lowlife who admits, some people...don't offer much more than sex.


TPOYD
I will be the lowlife who admits to being one of those people.

Not me, I offer a lot more than sex. There’s oral, and anal, and BDSM, and …

Oh, wait, those are all sex too. Never mind.


benartflick
Oenry, how many songs do you remember coming out in the 60's compared to songs coming out in every decade afterwards?


Oenry ?? Is that like “ornery”? I guess that would fit, I can definitely be a grouchy old man. You kids get off my grass, by the way.

But to answer your question: I remember a lot of music from the 60s. And a lot of music from the 70s, and the 80s. When I DJ, the crowd is almost entirely in their 50s and 60s. I always have different playlists, and I try out different genres, different time periods, seeing what the crowd will react to, what will get them up on their feet.

And I have a few “modern” or semi-modern songs that I always play, as everyone knows them and will dance. Uptown Funk for one.

And let us not forget line dances, always very popular. There are always more women wanting to dance than men willing to dance. Men being idiots for the most part. But I digress…
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 434
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 10:33:37 AM

And let us not forget line dances, always very popular. There are always more women wanting to dance than men willing to dance. Men being idiots for the most part. But I digress


That's fine. It leaves more women for those of us who have balls.

However, I do always sit out for *line* dances. For reasons I can't even begin to fathom, that awful "Cupid Shuffle" line dance is still huge. Every time the song starts, you can count on the voice yelling "NOOO!!!" at a million decibels during the intro belonging to me.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 435
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 11:08:09 AM
Cool, Pig, Spot, you're making it about sex for money thru dates. Dating is about getting to know someone, and sex comes along as the dates continue. Some people like to know that they like someone enough before having sex.

Spot, picture this. Same date, 2 different guys. One date, you have beers, play pool. The guy asks what beer you want, you proceed to play pool. What's the outlay of cash going to be for the guy if he pays, $15 maybe? You laugh at each others shots, maybe cozy up to show the guy how to shoot, a little flirty touches ensues, make some type of sexual wager on the games.

Date 2, different, but he doesn't ask what you want to drink, he asks the bartender for whatever is cheapest on tap. He makes a face when he finds out how many pennies it cost to play pool. After one game, he says nah, I don't want to play anymore. This guy is spending basically the same money, but he's a mood killer, and things that progressed with the other guy are not going to be happening, so......it's more about attitude and joy of living than money spent.

HS, I look good, I'm in great shape, dress nice for dates. What can I say, it makes a guy want to stay home and have sex. I received a nice message last week from a POF guy that said he saw me at a grocery store (he named the store and said the date), said I was more attractive in person and asked me out. Not that I needed confirmation from him. You shouldn't need to be validated by a guy. I hope you can raise your self esteem to feel the same way.

Mustang, many salespeople have lost sales due to "thinking" they can size someone up. A good salesperson creates the sale. They can tell a person what car to buy, and what color they want, which all happens to be in stock ☺
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 436
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 11:14:13 AM


I hope you can raise your self esteem to feel the same way.


Daaaaaaaayum.

I'm gonna go ahead and start making some popcorn right now. Anyone else want some??

 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 437
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 11:50:34 AM
Pig, what I want to see is you doing the cupid shuffle with your hair floating to the left, to the left, LOL. I love when they play it at my casino. The floor is crowded, and you know everyone is going in a different direction, which I find to be hilarious!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 438
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 12:21:28 PM

But what many times he forgets is that said signals are given to just about every guy -- you're nothing special. It's how she rolls.
like the customer who windowshops--a salesperson shouldn't consider them viable until the cash comes out. .... Hovering isn't going to make the sale come any quicker. probably the opposite.

I agree, but I think your analogy is better fit if it was about just-sex. In this case of the Real Cool, Ideal, Attractive Gal who has and likes tons-o-guy-friends, it's that guys have more of a crush, and are giddy about the idea of Dating them.

working in a small town, I noticed women who told some guy they didn't want a relationship...later end up in one with someone other than that guy they were initially fooling around with.

Yep. When we're talking about great-catches, much of the time. I've used the same line to gals, which there's some truth to it (not in Desire-Relationship mode right now), but everyone is going to want to be in a Relationship with a Certain Someone, If/when said opportunity arises with someone they Really Like.

I had a woman tell me she didn't date friends, and then dated me, and women who said they weren't looking for a relationship, have one with me. I've also had women tell me they weren't looking for a relationship, get married soon after they broke up with me.

Yep. When a gal (or guy) says she's not looking for a relationship -- the closest to the truth is "I'm not looking for one with you, and, not out there shopping for one either." Well, just because you're content or happy being single doesn't mean when you run across someone you Really Like, you won't want to be.


How are you not the rich kid being used for the swimming pool there? ;)
exactly, she's getting what she wants--which is a connection that she wants. not a sexual, erotic one, at least with me. now, like the rich kids who thinks superficial friends are better than none, I can't complain someone took me to Cape Cod to spend a week at her relative's cottage for free.

So it becomes a two-way street. Symbiosis, both "using" for their partial needs (attention from an attractive gal who wouldn't want to date me; she gets attention from a guy who has a complete persona she wishes her BFs had). Me myself, I couldn't lock in with that to go off on trips with, etc., generally speaking. I could end up Feeling just-a-friend with said gal, and she could be my wing-man to meet gals, etc., sure. But I wouldn't sacrifice spending-time-with-her over meeting dating prospects. Like, I wouldn't nix going out on a Sat night with some friends to spend Sat night at her place just me and her (and maybe a married gal-pal) watching movies and having drinks. Wed night and nothing going on? Sure.

you're making it about sex for money thru dates. Dating is about getting to know someone, and sex comes along as the dates continue.

If you demand he pays for your expenses in all outings as the only gateway to sex & anything more -- then basically you're saying he's paying for becoming an item, where sex is just part of the "combo package". :)

Spot, picture this. Same date, 2 different guys.

In your scenario, in summary, in (1) the guy pays for everything as-it-should-be-all-the-time in your mind, and everything's fine, but in (2) he's the cheapest guy in the world, date or no date, and he gasps at paying $1 - $1.50 for a game of pool, etc. as a representation of everyone who's Not #1. Doesn't quite work out that way. :)

HS, I look good, I'm in great shape, dress nice for dates. What can I say, it makes a guy want to stay home and have sex.

If all he wanted to do was bring you back to pork you -- and not go out -- yeah, he was probably being honest that you look better in person... enough to bring home to shag, but still, not enough to go out with. If I ran into a hot model at the grocery store who I saw online, and I used that to spark conversation in line, am I going to only want to Netflix & Chill with her? Hell no. HS's point was when they Don't want to go out, but just want to fvck, which you hiss at, you're just in booty-call mode level to them.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 439
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 2:18:53 PM
I think I should get my waders on................now where did I leave them?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 440
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 2:20:08 PM
Enough Harry/Sally dialogues

Cliff notes please
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 441
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 2:34:53 PM
NG, a cheap guy with no interests only wants to have sex. You think a cheap guy cares about showing his off dates, lol? I only had the 1 POF date be like that. We did go out though. We went out to the movies and out to eat several times. Those that need to show off their good-looking dates have low self-esteem. My ex-husband was that way. Quite a lot of men out there get their self esteem from who they're dating and what they look like.

The guy that said I was attractive that saw me grocery shopping and sent me a message, I didn't meet up with that guy and date him. That just happened a week ago.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 442
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 2:35:20 PM

I love when they play it at my casino.


You love it? It's the lamest shit since the "Achy Breaky" in the 90's.


Pig, what I want to see is you doing the cupid shuffle with your hair floating to the left, to the left


It will never happen. You need to be focused on hitting the forum dojo for training, anyway. You've got a cyber scrap coming your way.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 443
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 2:48:24 PM

NewYorker58
Those that need to show off their good-looking dates have low self-esteem.

Bull hockey. My self esteem is just fine. Some would even say, too good! (smile)


My ex-husband was that way. Quite a lot of men out there get their self esteem from who they're dating and what they look like.

Now I’m not going to say in the history of mankind this has never happened. I’m sure it has. But in the majority of cases, the GREAT majority of cases, men want the good looking woman, the real hotttie, because she makes his p____ hard.

Joseph Wambaugh, who wrote a whole series of novels about police work, is perhaps most famous for the method he invented of rating women, based strictly on the quality of the erections said woman could induce.

I don’t remember all of the ratings off the top of my head, but I do remember the top two. Somebody give me a drum roll, and we’ll do a Dave Letterman top five count down.

Number two: Blue veiner

And (wait for it) Number one: Diamond cutter!
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 444
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 3:16:07 PM

Halcyon
Most guys want an attractive woman they can feel proud to be seen with.


Henry
That has to be one of the most self evident statements that I have ever seen, anywhere, by anyone.


NYer
Those that need to show off their good-looking dates have low self-esteem.


^^^ I doubt any are true. If I am with a woman I care for, there is a spiritual joy that accompanies that. It is principally internal, and bubbles over. Going out in public and having others look is not about being seen with anyone, what others think is insignificant. The linking of this behavior immediately with low self-esteem includes a sick assumption and excludes the very healthy reason of just wanting an activity to do with someone you care with and treasuring their company. Spreading magic dust wherever you walk ... getting outside, keeping healthy walking, or doing things, where the world is your oyster when you share it together.

Most guys could give a crap about others' opinions, some guys, a small minority fall into the plastic culture in my town - we're not Tinseltown. For it to be self-evident, it would mean most smiling guys out with this woman are even thinking about what others think of them, only the more narcissistic would. And worst of all the low self-esteem comment about quite a lot of men just repeats the first one recasting it negatively. These generalizations may hold for certain cliques or low-self esteem types (but the converses are not true IMO), and the statements are far removed from everyday life IMO.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 445
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 3:16:55 PM
Gee, I was cruisin' YouTube for Wall Street (chuckie mentioned Gordon Gecko) and got some Madmen vid clips, then I come back to this particular post, about old songs and salesmanship and manly attitudes and women :) Businessmen who make deals from positions of power, and present "1960's cool" as a result. even if its all made up.

"many salespeople have lost sales, due to thinking they can size up a customer. A good salesperson creates the sale"

>>>http://www.businessinsider.com/20-qualities-that-make-a-great-salesperson-2012-5

beyond that, yes, a good salesperson, creates the demand. don't sell the steak, sell the sizzle. everyone can see what the product is, sell to them the results of the product, and what it will turn them into. Don't tell a woman what you can perform in bed--only she will be the judge. She wants to know what she's going to feel like afterward--and what she doesn't want to feel like, is used. Even if she doesn't know if she wants a relationship or not, she sure knows she doesn't want buyer's remorse.

speaking of dancing and youtube vids, there are videos teaching how to dance. the rest is all confidence, and a bit of that is just turning your back on the crowd and not worrying they may be watching you thrash around.

"Those that need to show off their good-looking dates have low self-esteem. "

>>>the important word, is "need". Nothing wrong with a fellow wanting to show off his arm candy. we all like to look good. but if one needs to impress others...then one "needs" to ask themselves, why. Meanwhile, there are a range of men who need to look better than they are. Sometimes, its a socio-economic thing. But as the president shows, it can also just be simple narcissism. whatever reason these dudes have for wanting the support of other people, they tend to befriend nearly everyone in a social group, and talk a lot about their fantasy to impress someone, someday. so, they seem to make up the majority of men, just b/c they are so vocal about what they need.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 446
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 3:33:15 PM
Pig, no country western for me. Pretty popular in Washington State, but I have never had to deal with it yet.

Pluto, my ex is a narcissistic. My ex used to love that I would get compliments on my hair all the time. He definitely got an ego boost from people complimenting me.

Henry, perhaps you're deceiving yourself if you are the type to want to show off a date. I am sure there are men that use a good-looking date as bait to attract other woman too.

Mustang, that article left out that it's helpful to find common ground with the person you're selling something to. Another big thing is the likeability factor. People don't like to buy things from people they don't like. People are even willing to pay more money to buy something from someone they like and avoid buying it from someone they don't like. Only then will it work to network. People are not going to network for you if they don't like you.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 447
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 3:49:54 PM

Those that need to show off their good-looking dates have low self-esteem.


Nonsense. I wouldn't say I "need" it per se, but I certainly do feel a sense of pride in being seen with the women I'm involved when I take them out in public. I also get satisfaction from coming back from the bathroom and seeing a guy is there trying to pick her up. I give them a quick "nice try" smile, and we go about our business.

Any straight man who says he doesn't enjoy being seen with a good looking woman is a liar. (and I'm sure a contrarian here on this very forum will step forward to *try* to deny it)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 448
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 3:59:28 PM
I finally looked up that Cupid Shuffle thing. It has a beat, and its simple. Perfect formula, if you want to sell a song as a product. But if you wish to do art...

The article I linked to, focuses on making a salesperson good for the business. Of course, in selling ourselves to a partner, we are the business. If we walk into a grocery store, for example, we may not be looking for a connection, but to get in and get out. WalMart and now Amazon do so well b/c they give us the lowest price. Otherwise, we may shop at a place b/c they recycle or something else that makes us feel good...and that's what we're paying extra for.

Good salespeople want repeat sales. If one wants more than a one night stand...one should make some sort of connection to their customer. or offer good dinner opportunities in transfer :)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 449
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 4:06:22 PM

the rest is all confidence, and a bit of that is just turning your back on the crowd and not worrying they may be watching you thrash around.


This is all true. It doesn't matter if you mastered every dance move known to man in the comfort of your own home, if you go out on a dance floor carrying a ton of self-consciousness with you, everything will unravel. Getting over the self-consciousness hurdle is exponentially more important than any moves you can learn.

There is at least one forum member here who can attest to the fact I have no qualms about directly facing a crowd and giving them more than an eyeful.
 Kj521
Joined: 11/16/2016
Msg: 450
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/13/2017 4:46:31 PM
^^^^Yeah....but.....seriously....don't you think ripping off your pants....aka Chippendale style....was just a little bit too much of an eyeful???

The twerking would have been enough, imo. ;) ;)
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