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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 51
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?Page 3 of 29    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
Everyone gets put down (or judged) on their assets, or lack of them.
It's life. To some we're awesome, to others not so much.

Being flat chested is an issue for you.
This isn't the first time you've come here looking for validation and
reassurances that it's "them" and not you.

I don't know what to tell you.
If you're comfortable with yourself, it wouldn't bother you what others
say. If you're meeting up with men who constantly put you down, you're
the common denominator. Not all guys are boob guys and most won't
put you down for the way you look just because they can.

You need to meet a better class of people..or
if you're not comfortable with yourself, do something about it.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 52
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 11:48:54 AM
SIMP
f you are happy with yourself, then let it go.
Tell the jack*ss to shut up or get out of your life.
If you're not happy then do something about it (rather than complain and seek validation here on the POF forums).

People love giving unsolicited advice - I guess it makes them feel better about themselves or maybe they feel more righteous because they don't have THAT problem.
It wears you down when YOU feel they may be right.
When you are insecure, people's criticism hurts more and cuts deeper.
It's like that button our parents install... instant reaction!

You don't need to be around these kind of people - if they're in your life, get rid of them.

If you think ALL men are mentally (if not verbally) measuring your boobs -- then YES, you have a problem.

The only thing to say to them is
"I'm so sorry you judge people on such superficialities."
or
"Have you talked with your psychiatrist about giving complete strangers on the street unwanted advice?"
or
"I'm so glad my presence was able to make you feel so much better about yourself."
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 53
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 12:07:15 PM

This man has told me twice about how big his former girlfriend's breasts were stating they were like melons and if she applied to work in Vegas she'd be accepted right away. I looked at him unimpressed stating I don't' feel any less attractive because I don't measure up.


There's a difference between being okay with having small breasts, versus thinking that you "don't measure up". Your use of that negative terminology indicates that deep down, you don't accept your breasts the way they are, despite your claims to the contrary. Your self-deprecating humor further emphasizes this: At the end of the evening we hugged and I told him the ice cream I eat goes to the bottom half of my body." A woman with a positive body image wouldn't say something like that--it would never even enter her mind.

I think the reason why you tolerate disrespect from men is due to low self-esteem and a negative body image. I think you secretly agree with these men's accessment of your breasts and attractiveness as a woman. You tell yourself that you are confident, but I think that's more about giving yourself positive affirmations and hoping they'll eventually stick, rather than coming from a true sense of self-confidence.

I think you need to work on raising your self-esteem and developing a more positive body image. Seeing a therapist might not be such a bad idea for you.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 54
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 12:41:43 PM
^^^^ ALL of this and

Yesterday I was communicating with a man who works out (small waist, tight stomach, defined arms, and classically handsome). IMO I wondered why the heck he was writing me because I know he gets a ton of messages in his inbox and in a split second I said to myself he is out of my league but then pushed that thought aside and wrote him back. We ended up having a telephone conversation that went well and after that I decided to write a joke message to him because I was in a quirky mood. Here is what wrote, "I should take a photo of myself without a top on like you and upload it here because I look just like you without a top on.". He wrote back and said, "lol. I like you more now." After that he asked me to call him and we had a two hour conversation that could have turned into six had it not been after bed time.


Offering to send a stranger a topless photo? You are either a fantastic troll or need serious help.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 55
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 12:51:08 PM
"Yesterday I was communicating with a man who works out (small waist, tight stomach, defined arms, and classically handsome). IMO I wondered why the heck he was writing me because I know he gets a ton of messages in his inbox and in a split second I said to myself he is out of my league but then pushed that thought aside and wrote him back. We ended up having a telephone conversation that went well and after that I decided to write a joke message to him because I was in a quirky mood. Here is what wrote, "I should take a photo of myself without a top on like you and upload it here because I look just like you without a top on.". He wrote back and said, "lol. I like you more now." After that he asked me to call him and we had a two hour conversation that could have turned into six had it not been after bed time.

The positives of being flat chested are: you can hug someone closer, they don't stick to my stomach/ribs, I feel lighter, a man can drive a toy car down the path that is between them because there is no cleavage, men don't focus on my chest, and they make me..me. The negative is many men don't like the fact they cannot show me off or enjoy sex as much, but that is their problem not mine."

Not since departed N have I said you really need to seek professional help .. but OP this is wrong so many levels.
I am guessing you sent him the picture of you topless btw
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 56
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 1:55:06 PM
OP, I missed the part about offering to send a topless photo to a guy. You definitely want men's assessment of your breasts, because you think this demonstrates to them that you are self-confident. It actually does the opposite.


vvvv Except it's not funny.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 57
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 1:58:55 PM
Wth she said it as a joke wow. Go buy a sense a humor holy fvck. Are you people that hard up that you cant read a conversation see it was meant as a joke. Bill Engvall has a sign for you.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 58
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 1:59:15 PM
The good news is that your CONFIDENCE is on full display in your profile. Not just one but 2 pics which leave absolutely no doubt about your chest size. Both at least captioned and one dated. TRUTH in your pics.. Your profile also depicts someone quirky on multiple levels and your profile contains numerous contradictions. You're a tree hugger. Snakes need to eat too. Plenty of animals kill and eat other animals. You are also another victim/disciple of FORUM MYTHS. Neither "attractive" men or women receive "hundreds" of emails in a day or even a week UNLESS they are new to the site, or live in a huge city where plenty of new folks join daily, or a female with a profile full of risqué pics. And it's not Rocket Science to figure out the type of emails that such pics will generate.

And no matter how many Forum peeps continue to perpetuate the MYTH, it's simply not true.

Also...

"I believe most people, even those who are below average in looks, feel confident. We have to. We only have ourselves. Confidence is attractive. "

From your OP^^^. I believe you are dead WRONG about people in that first sentence (IMO) but 100% correct in that last sentence. I believe the WRONG part is part of your problem besides having a (obviously) very bad picker.
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 59
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 3:14:24 PM
"Offering to send a stranger a topless photo? You are either a fantastic troll or need serious help"

Reread my post that referenced this. Some of you women are getting all out of whack. There really is no point posting on this thread any more because you like to picking apart what I say turn it into something that you want to believe I mean.

"Not since departed N have I said you really need to seek professional help .. but OP this is wrong so many levels.
I am guessing you sent him the picture of you topless btw"

You also have to reread my post that references this. What you're suggesting is gross and vulgar. I made a joke. Get over it.

"if you're not comfortable with yourself, do something about it."

Huh? Who said I am not comfortable with myself? This post is about men comparing me to other women and trying to figure out why they feel the need to do it.

"Snakes need to eat too. Plenty of animals kill and eat other animals."

Live feeding is different than frozen. A person who live feeds is forcing the prey to die when they put it in a tank with a deadly predator. There is 100% no escape. Also, why would anyone want to watch a prey animal get killed and witness its last moments in fear and pain. Would you want to die being fed to a hungry Lion?

"I don't know what to tell you.
If you're comfortable with yourself, it wouldn't bother you what others
say. If you're meeting up with men who constantly put you down, you're
the common denominator."

What could I possibly be doing to be the common denominator. I don't pretend to be someone else. It bothers me because it's happened too often. Would you like it if men told you to change your appearance? It is rude and inappropriate. People being rude to me does bother me and why shouldn't it?

"Maybe you could have refined your header further and said: "Are these men purposely trying to put me down do to lack of assets". "
I don't think you lack confidence or self-esteem at all; I think you're fed up with the comments directed at you though. Most people would be."

You and a couple of other forumites are the only ones to really get me. That header would have been perfect. Grr....I need to take a writing and communication course. Really do!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 60
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 5:22:17 PM
If you were truly comfortable with yourself you wouldn't have started the thread
I think Broadcasting
You have a bigger chest than me, never happened to me ONCE
hmm
wonder why
But I think rats make good pets.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 61
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 6:05:19 PM
Sleeps:
Yes, you have to ignore a lot of the advice given here. People are way to happy to suggest that you give up the guy you're meeting, to find someone else. Often it's rubbish advice.

Life is about building experiences. Your friend may not be long term permanent, but nevertheless, you're building knowledge and experience. No one will make your final decisions, only you will. Enjoy his friendship as long as you choose. If he brings up unpleasant things, you may have to be prepared to change the subject, and if he persists, say that you need to leave or go home to do some work or something. Hopefully he'll learn. And as a hint to you, don't hesitate to date multiple people at the same time.

The only suggestion I have, which is pretty simple... about your "assets", is to get bras which increase your size slightly. You won't be the only one doing it. Easy to do, and you might just find that even one size increase will be something you like. Doesn't mean you op for surgery, not ever. Clothing is something all of us women spend time choosing, and that includes the bras we all wear.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 62
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 7:12:41 PM

If you were truly comfortable with yourself you wouldn't have started the thread

I agree...either that, or it is just an excuse , to have a rant about men, who like big breasts and to complain that they should fancy her, even though she don’t have them
without doubt some women are right in their assessment, about this being an attention seeking thread and the op just wants an ego boost, because she has self confidence issues



He was drilling it in despite my aversion to this ongoing trend and said wouldn't I be happy if my husband who had a 3" penis went and had it made bigger? I told him penis' and breasts cannot be compared and that breasts are for babies


She would be happy for a guy to have an op, to make his penis bigger, but not to have the op to make her breasts bigger? She don't need to breast feed, many women don't, but a woman needs the semen from a penis, to have a baby...double standard thinking and a very selfish mindset…that’s my point of view…I think this thread is a pity post

Op lots of guys date, fall in love with and marry women who don't have big breasts...date them and then you will have no complaints to make and won't feel inadequate, but don't expect a guy who likes big breasts, to fancy you...just like a guy can't expect you to fancy him if he had a small penis
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 63
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/26/2017 9:50:15 PM
He and I get along so well =/= I am so put off when he brings up the conversation and am having trouble accepting what he told me. YOU are living a contradiction - but HE is not. Why?
Most guys will take whatever lovin' they can get. This guy's had a bit of big boobs and he loves it. He will find a way to get big boobs in his life again. You can be part of that, or be left behind. Both choices are BAD, so choose the one that doesn't require SURGERY.

If you are giving him any kind of touchy-feely-hanky-panky, he will gladly take all he can get. He doesn't call you UGLY, he just says he wants those big boobs, so when he finds the right pair, he'll ghost you without a second thought. You can choose to leave - or - choose be be left behind. He's already told you as much.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 64
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 1:02:57 AM

This man went on to say if a big breasted women who was all dolled up went to a party she'd get the attention of the rich CEO and that I wound't stand a chance (okay, that makes sense because I am average looking, but he wasn't referring to that.)

If you got all dolled up and had large breasts, you'd stand a much better chance, is his point (and yes, for better or worse, he's correct).

I looked at him unimpressed stating I don't' feel any less attractive because I don't measure up.

One is less attractive to men when they are "flat chested" vs having "melons" in the chest area. It's human nature. It doesn't mean a gal who's flat chested can't be more attractive than a woman who has a volumptous chest. But it does make a sizable difference for most men when one's talking about such a sizable difference.

He told me there is nothing wrong with a women trying to improve herself especially if she is married and she and her husband both think implants will enhance their relationship

This guy is really weird and creepy if he's talking to you as a date, and thinking that it's better if she does it when married. Weird dude.

said wouldn't I be happy if my husband who had a 3" penis went and had it made bigger?

Yeah, but that's not the same thing. If it was as routine and effective as modern day breast implants, yeah, you would see guys getting that. Ya can't really do the same thing to the pee-pee, tho.

I told him penis' and breasts cannot be compared and that breasts are for babies.

The penis is for making babies (and peeing). But breasts are also to draw sexual attraction by the opposite sex, just as adequate penis size is. But they are different and comparisons aren't quite on par, sure. Both both are sexual organs, so generally speaking, you can't isolate breasts as if they're not. Otherwise, men wouldn't be attracted to women with good sized, firm breasts and wouldn't end up lacking attraction to some degree to a flat-chested woman. I'm not being mean, just frank. Again, it doesn't mean flat-chested women are Unattractive. It means just like a guy being 5'7" instead of 6'0" to average height gals is lacking attraction, etc.

I told him the ice cream I eat goes to the bottom half of my body. He told me it's too bad it doesn't go to my chest.

What a jerk! WTF...

He and I get along so well.

Unless he was saying those things as tongue-in-cheek, I can't see how...

How do I continue with a man who feels as strongly as he does about a woman's body?

Okay, so he wasn't tongue-in-cheek. You shouldn't continue with him. You just tell him that you are flat-chested, are not aiming to get any breast implants, and you're not attracted to guys who don't find you attractive enough -- to the point to have to tell you on early dates he wished the ice cream would go to your chest and that you should get an operation. Yikes. You should be turned off.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 65
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 2:42:27 AM


If you were truly comfortable with yourself you wouldn't have started the thread


I agree...either that, or it is just an excuse , to have a rant about men, who like big breasts and to complain that they should fancy her, even though she don’t have them
without doubt some women are right in their assessment, about this being an attention seeking thread and the op just wants an ego boost, because she has self confidence issues



He was drilling it in despite my aversion to this ongoing trend and said wouldn't I be happy if my husband who had a 3" penis went and had it made bigger? I told him penis' and breasts cannot be compared and that breasts are for babies


She would be happy for a guy to have an op, to make his penis bigger, but not to have the op to make her breasts bigger? She don't need to breast feed, many women don't, but a woman needs the semen from a penis, to have a baby...double standard thinking and a very selfish mindset…that’s my point of view…I think this thread is a pity post

Op lots of guys date, fall in love with and marry women who don't have big breasts...date them and then you will have no complaints to make and won't feel inadequate, but don't expect a guy who likes big breasts, to fancy you...just like a guy can't expect you to fancy him if he had a small penis


There you go again on one of your misogynistic rants... sheesh. And you make the mistake of presupposing who SIMP fancies or doesn't fancy. Doesn't anyone read what she types?
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 66
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 2:49:52 AM


This man has told me twice about how big his former girlfriend's breasts were stating they were like melons and if she applied to work in Vegas she'd be accepted right away. I looked at him unimpressed stating I don't' feel any less attractive because I don't measure up.



There's a difference between being okay with having small breasts, versus thinking that you "don't measure up"


The key part of the phrase SIMP made is: 'I looked at him unimpressed' rather than: 'I don't measure up'. She meant that it was his standards she wasn't 'measuring up' to, not her own.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 67
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 3:18:17 AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking - hate
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying - hate
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ - Misogyny - vs opinion about one woman... it's not hate of that female poster...it's an opinion about her...it's not hate of all women to have an opinion about one woman and not hate of all men to have an opinion about one man...even if you said some men or some women, it's still not sexist, because it's not discriminating against one gender as a whole...tiger you really need to get yourself educated about, what sexism is and also cyberstalking and cyberbullying, because your doing both those things to me and have been for months...I thought you said you work in the mental health secure? it must be getting to you and you need to time on the couch
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 68
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 5:28:06 AM
I bet all these women who're playing the gutted just because this chick here proposed (jokingly or otherwise) to send a picture of her t1ts to some dude are all hypocrites! I bet they s3xt the living daylights outa ever dude they fancy. Shame on all you all.

I, for one.. wanna see her t1ts. Mouse pjs.. send me a picture please.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 69
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Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 5:47:25 AM
^^^^ ooooooo I love a good wager. What are you putting up? I hope it is something useful.
I only send pics of my t!ts to my forum friends. *eyeroll*
 10ky
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 70
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 6:05:33 AM
^
Well, I've got a thing up at the moment in anticipation of the mentioned picture. Very useful thing I would say. Aye, indeed, I am a wee bit sensitive when it comes to these things. What's you putting up by the way? <3

vvv Absolutely. All the pretty round ones should be taught to flaunt imo for the sake of a happier mankind. The ugly ones should however be categorically prohibited from causing brain and ocular damage to innocent passer-bys.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 71
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 6:07:53 AM
Ha!
It is legal here to be topless altho not many women take advantage of that ruling.
#freethenipple, no matter the shape size or age :)
Fall fashions tons of sheer tops.
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 72
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 6:11:48 AM
OP you are NOT flat-chested or small breasted!

YOU are proportionate for YOUR body type.

ectomorphic, slender & athletic.

you appear dainty & feminine


I think you should ENJOY all of your beauty & stay away from men who neg you.

I also like what SLAFFA has to say.

If people embrace the body they were given, they would attract someone who is turned on by that body type.

I have a "donkey" booty. I am not ashamed of it, rather I like it & have attracted "a$$men" my whole life- I hope you embrace your delicate bone structure & attract men who adore it!
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 73
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 6:29:04 AM

I have a "donkey" booty. I am not ashamed of it, rather I like it & have attracted "a$$men" my whole life-
Why do hot looking women, always boast about, their great assets? you're such a tease...LMAO
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 74
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 7:15:51 AM
why do good looking women boast about their physical assets? I know that was a tongue in cheek, but i'll answer anyway :)

its obviously the easy way to get some form of attention, which is a pity. and a woman who asserts her intelligence can be considered b1tchy. which is also a pity. a woman, generally speaking, might be graded or measured on what she's going to be in bed, rather than what she's going to be in a relationship. and perhaps that's part of where relationships fail. we wouldn't buy a car on how well the red paint catches the eye, for example.

stepping off the soapbox
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 75
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/27/2017 7:22:47 AM
My hope is that OP sees her body as an asset & attracts the right man for her :0)
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