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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 65
Masturbation while in strong relationships.Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)



This girl I knew liked to do it so much I began to miss masturbation.
 *mouse*
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 67
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:21:10 AM
My ex used to have a problem with me 'tending to myself', I'd end up doing it after sex and what not...I very rarely get off during intercourse so it's only fair. Everyone has thier reasons as to why they do it. And so long as it isn't taking away from parts of your life....Such as going into the bathroom and masturbating when you know your partner is waiting to get some...then there is absolutely nothing wrong with.
 MyNameSpaghetti
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 68
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:28:47 AM
I hang out with a lesbian couple that either brings their problems out for everyone, or likes to bring me into them specifically because I'll give them advice to shut them up. (For reference to anyone else who does this: DON'T. No one who is not you and your SO gives a crap about your relationship issues. This of course excludes the forums, obviously. But in a social setting, I don't want to address why you bring up your exes after sex, etc.)

Anyways, their issue stemmed from one (I'll name her Jane) being jealous of the other's (Mary) masturbatory time alone. Jane felt that if Mary needed to release sexual tension or just was that aroused she should wait for her and they could play together. She did not want her masturbating alone, ever.

I disagree. Masturbation (not mutual) is a solo thing that can have nothing to do with your SO. It is a personal right of sexual expression or even just relaxation and release. If not an addictive issue, it is not cheating and it is not taking away from the sexual relationship you share. Now if your partner is releasing to avoid sex, or it is becoming an addictive issue, then its a horse of a different color. But masturbation is a natural and effective stress reliever and can only help along a sexual relationship by allowing the individual to discover alone what will better their time together.

And avoid the spilling on the ground Bible issue by going in the shower, a towel, or a tissue. ;)

 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 72
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/23/2007 7:13:08 PM
your partner will always see something wrong with it, mine do. It just can't be helped, oh well.
 emtchicky
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 73
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/24/2007 12:31:29 AM
I certainly don't believe that it's WRONG. Like many others said, as long as it's not interfering with your intimacy of your relationship with your significant other, I don't forsee it being an issue. I personally am just too much of a hornball for a significant other to keep up with in my past experiences! A few guys I've dated have been somewhat frustrated by it, but they weren't doing anything wrong, I just have an extremely high sex drive!
 crazyindian69
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 76
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/24/2007 4:06:29 AM
masturbation in a relationship?

GROW UP

holy shit, dude

If I didn't whack off I would be crazy
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 81
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 5/31/2015 7:06:05 AM
When with a partner I usually subside with it but theres times that Ive dont it and as you say maybe theres a difference in needs.....and for one to get mad or upset with the other about such things unless its holding back from one or the other is wrong.....dont beleive its a moral issue either...its a relationship issue...good luck!
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 5/31/2015 1:51:15 PM
Might be a bit graphic and crude, but what the hell...I'll throw this in here -

Was with a woman for a while once, and had to masturbate now and then when apart...but it was because she wanted me to have some of me saved ahead of time in a shot glass or two, kept in the fridge until the right time. She wanted a little extra to enjoy that way. She loved it. Freak.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 83
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 6/2/2015 4:57:52 PM
unless it's a symptom of a problem within the relationship with intimacy or communication, I think it's fine. But respect the opinions of your partner and talk it out - explain about the difference in sez-drive and that it's not a reflection on her.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 84
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 6/2/2015 8:47:58 PM
sexysoph92

I would be looking at why you don't want full sexual penetration. Previous abuse, fear of pregnancy?? STDS???? A dislike of the sexual organs of the partner??? Most normal women welcome intercourse when with someone they like and fancy. I imagine most guys want more than the blow job or mutual masturbation.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 85
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 7/20/2015 4:14:36 AM
If your NOT depriving your partner I would say not a problem....evaluate your situation and even talk to your partner....and see where you stand...good luck!
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 86
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 7/22/2015 2:25:02 AM
As an addition to your sex life there is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation, as a substitute for sex with your partner though... I'd say you probably need to have a heart to heart with your partner about your needs, it's unlikely to get better if it isn't worked at.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 87
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 7/22/2015 9:12:17 AM

it is the fear of STDs but i know about protection but protection isn't 100% effective. Masturbation can be.

Can be.. but only if you are not touching one another, only yourself, and there is absolutely no exchange of bodily fluids. If one of your partners is touching themselves, then touches you, an STD can be transferred. If they are touching you, then touch themselves, an STD can be transferred. The only sure-fire way to never come in contact with and STD is to never have any sort of physical/sexual contact with anyone.

As far as the the OP goes though, everyone is different and will have different thoughts and feelings on this subject. Personally I think masturbation is a part of a regular, healthy sexual life. I would encourage my partner to masturbate, with or without me, as long as it didn't negatively impact on our sex life together. I love being near my partner when/if he is masturbating. I think it's sexy and it arouses me. Not everyone will feel the same way, and that is ok... there is no right or wrong here, except when it comes to your own relationship.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 88
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 7/22/2015 2:34:47 PM
what if your bf never or rarely gets off? He doesn't like to talk about it but I can't help but wonder if it's because he's so used to his hand and grip.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 89
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 7/22/2015 4:38:51 PM
OMG.. *puts fingers in my ears*LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

errrr, masturbating by yourself and not when your with your partner when you have a partner? um....need some cummunication there. Yes, pun intended.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 90
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/16/2015 4:08:16 AM
Some have more drive than the other and as long as either is happy and never denies the other I see no problem...its when the games are played that one would rather masturbate than be with the other that would pose a problem!
 BialaPolska
Joined: 5/20/2015
Msg: 91
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/16/2015 9:49:42 AM
Needless to say "logging off" could be mutually enjoyed. We sometimes do our best performances after "logging off".
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 92
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/16/2015 10:00:43 AM
I would masturbate on some of the days that I didn't see my girlfriend or sex partner at the time. Masturbating in between having sex can sometimes improve my performance. I would last longer.
 BialaPolska
Joined: 5/20/2015
Msg: 93
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/16/2015 10:06:04 AM
Agreed. We pretty much include such playful activity with every "date". Ahem , me thinks this is when the "chemistry" part comes in.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 94
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Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/17/2015 9:12:30 PM
Sometimes a guy/girl just wants to masterbate. It might not even be about the partner or communication.
If I had a significant other, I would probably still masterbate. If she demanded I stop, I would try including her in my sessions, but I don't think I could stop.
 SassyKatniss
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 95
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 9/5/2015 9:41:02 AM
It depends on your partner. I know some women are particularly against their partners/husbands doing this. Personally I respect my partners and that means they have control over their own body and sexuality. So they can do this, plus I love them and want them to feel good and it's unrealistic to think all sexual activity they do will include me.

I would not want them doing it with other people, but with themselves, is fine. In some rarer circumstances it can cause issues for actual intercourse but again not that often. If they do it only because they feel unsatisfied with the frequency of intercourse then I would put effort into doing it more. I have not actually had this issue before though since I'm usually up for pretty high frequency, just no more than ten times a day :) and I probably wouldn't get much out of more than about 7 times/or types of sexual activities in a day. So it would be just for them after that.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 96
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 9/6/2015 5:55:27 PM
If a woman didn't like sex enough to fantasize and do some self service, in a relationship or not, she wouldn't like sex enough to be interesting.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 97
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 11/24/2015 3:23:17 AM
Well...if shes NOT as sexual as you are and you both care for each other then as long as your full filling her needs she shouldnt have any problem with your extra personal stuff....maybe she needs to help you....that can get pretty erotic...hopefully she comes out of her little box to reality!...good luck!
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 98
Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 11/24/2015 8:43:02 AM

If a woman didn't like sex enough to fantasize and do some self service, in a relationship or not, she wouldn't like sex enough to be interesting.


Agreed, show me a woman who enjoys orgasms enough to WANT to self serve regularly and I feel more promise in the days ahead.
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