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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?      Home login  
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 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 26
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material? Page 2 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
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 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 27
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 10:02:28 AM
My dad is coming home soon...
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 28
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 10:14:46 AM

siisaa- I don't care what anybody else has said.
Just the way you asked this tells me you are male.


Why would you assume she's male? Do you have something against gay women?
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 29
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 11:54:20 AM
I don't think you can judge whether a person is LTR material based on only one quality/action. Maintaining a relationship takes a lot more than sex and when you start having it. If I slept with a guy on the first date and he took it as me being not good enough as a long term GF, I'd stop seeing him in a heartbeat. What a short sighted and narrow minded jerk!

JMO.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 30
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 12:39:58 PM
halcyon skies-
siisaa- I don't care what anybody else has said.
Just the way you asked this tells me you are male.


"Why would you assume she's male? Do you have something against gay women?"

The way the post was phrased. I was wrong and I should not have assumed that the OP was male.

I'm not sure where you are coming from asking if I have something against gay women.
I don't.
One of my best friends on earth is gay, my nephew was gay (he passed away, hence the use of past tense) and my niece is gay.
Sexual orientation and skin color mean nothing to me. I take people as they come and care about their minds and hearts.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 31
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 1:50:19 PM
siisaa, whose picture gives me a hangover, wrote:


Discuss.
Sounds too much like a test. I always hated "discussion" tests. I liked multiple choice better:

If you sleep with someone the first date, would you consider them LTR material?

1.) Yes, if they were hot, fun, and nice.
2.) No, they were hot, fun, and nice but they will reject me later.
3.) No, because anyone banging on first date is a slut
4.) Depends on how drunk we got
5.) Who cares, because we had fun
6.) All love the above
7.) None of the above, depends on what you consider to be "LTR"

More seriously....I don't think it matters, really. 1st date vs. how many dates? If you're comparing 1 date vs. 3 dates...no difference imo....assuming starting as strangers. I don't really think you get to drill down (no pun intended) to see a person's psyche and personality, and values much better in 3 dates vs. 1 date....both are still in fake "good behaviour" stage. So depends on how many dates VS "1st date"

Now, if you're talking about someone that is a friend first, i.e, you get to know them over time, at a job, or club, etc. etc. ....then yes. You sleep with that person, it may have a higher chance of being a successful LTR sleeping on the first date. You have a lot more knowledge about that person.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 32
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 2:48:33 PM


"Why would you assume she's male? Do you have something against gay women?


The way the post was phrased. I was wrong and I should not have assumed that the OP was male.

I'm not sure where you are coming from asking if I have something against gay women.
I don't.


And what about the OP's phrasing made you think she wasn't a woman? It sounds to me as if you hold some preconceived notions about how women are supposed to speak or feel about sex, and you made a snap judgment about her gender.

To me, that suggests a certain intolerance for women who are different from you. But at least you admitted you were wrong to make the assumption she was male.
 6jellybeans
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 33
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 2:56:14 PM
I don't think it matters either way. I have certainly never judged a man on how fast or slow he is to sleep with me. Mind you if its too slow I assume he isn't interested and walk.

For me personally I tend to wait a little bit (not too long, If I don't want to jump his bones whats the point in dating him anyway?). But that is because I know what I am like and I know if I try to sleep with someone straight away that I am unlikely to be able to relax and enjoy it so what is the point in crappy sex? Selfish I know but there you have it. That is the only reason why I tend to wait a bit. It has nothing to do with me trying to be a catch or trying to use my poonani to hook a guy or holding off so I am not seen as a slut. Its simply because I like good sex, I like to enjoy it and in order to do so I need to feel comfortable and relaxed.

I only think it is wrong if sex is being used as an entrapment or tool to get someone to like you more.

If you are going to have sex then own it and have sex because you both want to and its going to be fun and enjoyable. Any other reason and its just not worth it.

Oh and suit up boys. STD's are just not sexy. Ladies, no glove = no love!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 34
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 3:01:34 PM
I don't think there is a direct correlation between when 2 people have sex for the first time and the length of a relationship. People being upfront about their intentions is more important than when they have sex. Don't agree to FWB / casual relationship when you actually want something more serious. Or don't pretend to want a LTR when you are only looking for casual relationship.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 35
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 3:39:21 PM
Don't let her get to you Bama

She's made several enemies here of both genders

I'll message you the pics she sent me last month

She's jealous of any woman hotter then she is
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 36
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 4:21:47 PM
ScentedLudriderm- " Don't let her get to you Bama "
Meh! At worst, I'm mildly irritated.
I wonder if she gets the irony of fussing at me for making snap judgments, when she made a snap judgement about me?
Pot, meet kettle. ;)


"I'll message you the pics she sent me last month"
Nah, keep those to yourself, please. Besides, I see enough filtered photos on facebook. :D

"She's jealous of any woman hotter then she is"
Maybe. Probably not though, at least I hope not. She's pretty and in shape. Not that I'm chopped liver, but I don't see a reason for her to be insecure.
Plus, that's middle school school type crap and I'm WAY over that sort of thing.
Thank you though, for speaking up on my behalf. I appreciate it. :)
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 37
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 8:45:45 PM

Don't let her get to you Bama

She's made several enemies here of both genders

I'll message you the pics she sent me last month

She's jealous of any woman hotter then she is


It's interesting how you try to twist things around to make me look like the bad guy after I called Forumslady out for accusing the OP of being a man. Forumslady, you know damn well that was a b!tchy thing to say to the OP, and she didn’t deserve that.

ClooneysTutor/WiccanDefecator/Secretion/ScentedLubriderm, you need to stop stalking me in the forums and leaving “gifts” on my profile page. I seem to be taking up an inordinate amount of space in your head, considering you purport to be engaged. I have never contacted you, and I'm happily partnered, so you need to stop obsessing over me. It just makes you look like a loser.

It’s obvious that you’ve never left the anal stage in your psychological development. Your choice of usernames that focus on bodily secretions, excretions, and excrement are proof of this fact:

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/usermessages.aspx?user_Id=114988849

Ditto your base, sophomoric troll posts.

I don’t give a shyt if you think I’ve made some enemies here. Hypocrites like you who claim to be Christian, yet constantly attack other posters about their appearance, height, lifestyle, sex lives, professions, etc. are not people I'd ever want to be friends with.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 38
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/18/2017 11:53:09 PM
Forumslady, Halcyon is always looking to go after someone, even if she has to make up a phony scenario to do so. Ignore her. Her old man has his warm milk then off to bed early, leaving her frustrated and bored, so she takes it out on everyone here. So yes, she has a reason to resent women who are not stuck in unhappy relationships.

Sex on a first date doesn't really mean anything either way, but.......even though men want it, it doesn't mean many don't look down at a woman for doing so. Men may say a woman is playing a game to not have sex on date #1, but aren't they the game players? Some will tell their friends the next day that you were just a conquest, nothing more. So, it comes down to the guy, whether he judges you, and whether he was looking for a ltr to begin with. Know your date.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 39
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 5:01:51 AM
sometimes a person posts a poll question on a subject they are getting gas-lighted about, hopefully not the case here. Yes, some women do get held to standards, reminds me of the old joke:

Q: what is the difference between an ho and a b!tch?

A: A ho sleeps with everyone. A b!tch sleeps with everyone...but you.

Listening to what a potential date says, can help towards reading them and figuring out if they're going to be "that guy". sometimes, both sides are so focused on what they want, they don't really pay attention to what is in front of them...and sometimes get surprised.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 40
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 7:37:45 AM

Halcyon is always looking to go after someone, even if she has to make up a phony scenario to do so. Ignore her. Her old man has his warm milk then off to bed early, leaving her frustrated and bored, so she takes it out on everyone here. So yes, she has a reason to resent women who are not stuck in unhappy relationships.


NewYorker58, I don’t go after anyone unless they deserve it. You are a repeat offender in here, always pitting men and women against one another, and complaining about cheap men--which is why you get called out often. Trust me, there is nothing about your life that I envy. Unlike your dates, my man is not cheap. He doesn’t go into my home and eat and drink up all my food and beverages. He pays for what he consumes.


Sex on a first date doesn't really mean anything either way, but.......even though men want it, it doesn't mean many don't look down at a woman for doing so. Men may say a woman is playing a game to not have sex on date #1, but aren't they the game players? Some will tell their friends the next day that you were just a conquest, nothing more. So, it comes down to the guy, whether he judges you, and whether he was looking for a ltr to begin with. Know your date.


Men are not “game players” any more than women. The OP posed her question to be gender-neutral, not as a way to bash men. Yes, there are some men and women who hump and dump. Sex on a first date can be risky for a myriad of reasons, but as others have said before, holding off on sex is not going to guarantee a successful relationship, either.

Yes, do know your date---especially before inviting that person into your home. That way, you won’t complain in the forums that your date is cheap and ate up all your food and drank up all your beer.
 junipermusk
Joined: 3/20/2016
Msg: 41
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 7:47:24 AM
It depends on how long you got to know the person. I've had some of the best relationships of my life in the same fashion. But it also depends on what you are looking for. A wife? Nah.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 42
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 4:13:37 PM
Halcyon, Forums lady didn't deserve you going after her, and what you said didn't even make sense. What does being gay have to do with anything? Why are you going on to mention me, my story is old news? Dating is the process of getting to know someone. Do you have a tip jar at your place for the bf, or does he leave money on your dresser? You're too funny!

Forumslady, the op does happen to be a woman, someone coming back with a new name, but that doesn't mean HS should lose her sh!t over it☺
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 43
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 5:24:07 PM
halcyon skies- "It's interesting how you try to twist things around to make me look like the bad guy after I called Forumslady out for accusing the OP of being a man.

No one is twisting anything around, except for you. I admitted I made a mistake. Damn, do you want me to genuflect or something?

"Forumslady, you know damn well that was a b!tchy thing to say to the OP, and she didn’t deserve that."
I'm b!tchy?! Again, pot, meet kettle.
Besides, you ain't seen me b!tchy............... yet.
Bless your heart. :D

@New Yorker58- Thank you for the kind words. :)
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 44
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 6:40:02 PM

Halcyon, Forums lady didn't deserve you going after her, and what you said didn't even make sense. What does being gay have to do with anything? Why are you going on to mention me, my story is old news? Dating is the process of getting to know someone. Do you have a tip jar at your place for the bf, or does he leave money on your dresser? You're too funny!]

Forumslady, the op does happen to be a woman, someone coming back with a new name, but that doesn't mean HS should lose her sh!t over it


NewYorker58, I'm not going to explain things a second time. I can guarantee that if the tables were turned and someone in the forums attacked you for no reason and accused you of being a man, you wouldn't be so amused. I don't consider sticking up for the OP as "losing my sh!t", but whatever.

As for a tip jar, I don't need one. My man and I share dating expenses. I think you could use one, though. Also, you should pick up a pair of mini binoculars so you can better peer over your dates' shoulders while they're paying for the shows, and see if they're using a 2-for-one coupon. Old news or not, objecting to coupon use is still pretty ridiculous.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 45
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 7:06:51 PM
There's nothing wrong with questioning who is behind a profile. It's not like fake profiles aren't created every other day here.

I can't believe your bf isn't making up for the inequity between your ages, and a declining sex drive, by throwing you a dinner here and there.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 46
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Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 8:20:46 PM
"halcyon skies- "It's interesting how you try to twist things around to make me look like the bad guy after I called Forumslady out for accusing the OP of being a man."

WTF.. More drama for the Queen. I suppose you will turn this into a "snit" which you will have all by yourself because not many people here care about your opinion. No one here needs your hatred and vile retorts. No one here needs to be corrected by you either. We are all entitled to our own opinions and thoughts. I thought the post was written by a man too. The OP's picture is gender neutral and stupid. Why don't you report it like you did all of mine?

Why don't you try to just respond to the OP and leave the rest of us here trying to do the same thing alone?? Bama made a simple assumption not an accusation and you lay in wait for this, anyone to make a mistake or something you find objectionable and then you personally attack people. What on Earth did it have to do with disliking gay women is beyond me. See how you are twisted? WHY?

It seems like you scour these pages daily with your verbal diarrhea just looking for a few words so you can attack people. It's pitiful. You're in your late 60's at best.. when are you going to grow up? These forums are for adult discussions. You are supposed to be so happy, living the new life with hubby in Vegas... but you treat people here like a miserable old biddy. WHY?

No one here has to "make you look like the bad guy". You do that all by yourself.. you proved it the way you treated me. You not only attacked what I said you mocked my pictures, said I had fake breasts, and even stooped so low that you brought my daughters cancer into your rants and evil retorts against me. You crapped all over my poetry pages writing stupid poems and accused me of writing a poem about you that was about my dead sister. You act unstable and then when people call you out you never apologize or think you could possibly be wrong. Guess what? Sometimes you can be wrong. You were wrong in that thread about the obscene pictures the OP found. I pointed to addiction and low and behold the woman was a Meth head.

You were merciless towards me in slobbering your drama and bull shit all over my poetry pages. You dragged bull shit from another forum thread and white trashed my work all the while claiming you had every right to do so that that thread didn't belong to me or my readers. You dragged in the mud too searching my history to find out more to abuse me with, picked apart my profile and badgered me for months. You NIT PICK at people when maybe you should just be minding your own business. WHY?

I didn't take it too personally because you do it to everyone. It was rude, abusive and cruel... but I considered the source. When you feel like you can't win or you are being ignored you drag your flying monkeys into it and let them do your dirty work too. You try to start smear campaigns and make other people do your feelings. All over a poem that had nothing to do with you... but Narcissist think the world revolves around them so it was not my fault you personalized that poetry. Perhaps you have a guilty conscious, but that is not my fault either.

Subsequently I did write poems about you and I enjoyed them. No names but you were the subject matter and some of that work was my best! One of the poems got 1500 views on my blog. Impressive material. Thanks for the inspiration.

I got more personal messages than I could count from people that were as baffled as I was as to why you would not leave me alone. Disgusted by your antics and had stories of very unpleasant encounters with you. I asked you 16 times to go away but you couldn't help yourself. I asked you to not read my posts. It could have been that simple but you are vindictive. Maybe you should find someone who can help you. You need it and you prove it here every other post.. Your history here is laden with hate, snarky retorts, nit picking, arguing semantics, badgering certain posters, stalking others and giving bad advice.

Would it harm you to try to be kind to others? WHY NOT? When you point a finger at someone there are three more pointing back at you. It may behoove you to examine your own behavior before admonishing others. Just saying.



ON TOPIC: Yes, I slept with someone on the first date. We were married 2 years later and raised 4 beautiful daughters. He was LTR material and I will perhaps never love someone as much as I did him. He died at 47 and it was one of the most devastating thing that ever happened to me.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 47
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/19/2017 11:55:06 PM

WTF.. More drama for the Queen. I suppose you will turn this into a "snit" which you will have all by yourself because not many people here care about your opinion. No one here needs your hatred and vile retorts. No one here needs to be corrected by you either. We are all entitled to our own opinions and thoughts. I thought the post was written by a man too. The OP's picture is gender neutral and stupid. Why don't you report it like you did all of mine?


Religious nutjob whose man dumped her, so now she started a thread to bash her ex, and writes poems to bash people whose opinions she doesn't agree with---and a gold-digger who was "used" by men in her past, and now expects every new man she meets to pay for it. You can continue to pose as good Catholic girls and pray to your God, while spewing your vitriol if it makes you feel better about yourselves.

Cheers 🍸
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 48
Sleeping with someone on the first date...are they LTR material?
Posted: 8/20/2017 4:49:16 AM
Wouldn't surprise me in the least if your craggy bf helps you respond.

You're the worst. Acting like an elite member of society

I've seen the most judgmental posts by you

I'm not surprised that you've never been married either...
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 49
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History
Irony at its finest - Off Topic Wall of Words
Posted: 8/20/2017 6:14:27 AM
Some of us can remember when there were new people in the forums every day thanks to the link (to forums) being prominent on the dating side and even having the last five forum posts you made at the bottom of your profile. It brought new lurkers in who sometimes posted. There aren't that many regular posters in the forums these days.

It is easy to get to know regulars. You know who is single and dating, who is coupled up, and who has given up. You learn who is lighthearted and who is bitter and angry. You learn who has forums only profiles and means it and who is actually utilizing OLD. You learn who posts as a distraction and for fun, who posts to genuinely try to be helpful, and who takes every post like it is life and death.

You learn other things too. You quickly learn whose posts to scroll right on by. The people who write walls of unnecessary words. I think they are reliving using their first Mavis Beacon software. Their posts rarely address the actual Original Post or the current topic of the thread. You learn who has so many spelling and grammar errors that their thoughts don't come across clearly. You learn who has been here for years but acts like they don't understand the forum basics.

And then there are the ones that causes me to take a break from the threads more often than not:

- the people who lack very basic reading comprehension - As you are reading this ask yourself how many times you have had to post that you misread something. How many times has another person pointed out an important point about the ongoing thread that you missed? How many times have you had to backtrack because you were off in your comprehension? There are a few posters who do this over and over and will hang on to their ignorance like a dog with a bone. They dig their heels in and their posts become progressively more ad hominem attacks than they are any sort of discourse.

- and the incels writing about dating and sex - Ask yourself if you are giving advice about something you haven't done in years. If you haven't had a date in a decade why do you think you know what you are talking about? If you have given up on dating why are you trying to tell others how to date? The dating world is ever evolving. I certainly date differently today than I did even five years ago. Everything from the way you communicate to the activities is different. Hell, most people who are dating as we knew it don't even use the term dating. Sex isn't the same either. At least the way it is approached isn't. Certain acts used to be unspeakable and now they are common place. People inquire about testing and gender preferences and fetishes right out the gate. I am thankful for these changes. I used to invest a lot of time into dating a guy and hoping he would be sexually compatible and now I can just move on if he doesn't tick the right boxes (boxes I didn't used to be able to ask about). I don't want to hear someone who almost had sex with someone ten years ago tell me or someone who is really asking for help their opinions.

Maybe step away from your keyboards. I went out last night and going out again tonight - I very highly recommend it. It was very satisfying. Even as introverted as I am I realize that if I want to meet men (and I do) I have to put myself in situations where it can take place.

There is a lot of envy on display in these threads and in this one in particular. It is crystal clear and it is the same people who always show that side. Some of you have been showing it for years. You are transparent. Crystal clear. Being unhappy with your looks or life is not a reason to act ugly (as my grandmother would say). If you are posting because you just want to act ugly to another poster maybe rethink those words. Go watch some funny youtube videos or listen to some music.
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