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 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 26
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Message response ratePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I'm aiming at the ground.


Mole people?
 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 27
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Posted: 9/5/2017 4:51:42 PM
My response rate is very close to zero.
My first problem is I rarely fancy anyone my own age.
On the very rare occasion I do I get no reply.

I have had a couple get in touch with me but I really didnt fancy them.

I have been on here for about 20 years now, on and off.
As you get older the response rate seems to go down.
The worrying thing about being 60 is that quite a few women my age no longer want sex and just wants 'friends'.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 28
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Posted: 9/5/2017 4:54:53 PM
^^^
I call bullsh!t on the not wanting sex. I am the youngest in my social circle and none of the ladies are looking to be "friends" with every man they meet. If anything their libido is raging.

I do believe your particular issues lie elsewhere.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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Posted: 9/5/2017 6:06:00 PM

fits my definition of attractive (5'7" or less, 150-250 or so pounds, small or average (but definitely not large) boobs, plain face)

Okay, first, you're 6'2"... so if the gal's a mere 6" shorter than you, she's not attractive? :) There are plenty of gals who are 5'8" - 5'10" who you do find attractive. I can understand an ideal preference on height, but...

The second part has my head scratching. You want a gal who's small or average, but "definitely not large". If a gal is, say, 5'5" (your ideal height?) -- and is 215lbs, which is well within your weight range for her -- she's VERY likely to have large b00bs. Wanting heavier set women is almost always going to come with above-average, if not large b00bs.

My first problem is I rarely fancy anyone my own age.

Well, thing is, you're not going to get women notably younger than you with a mugshot as a solo profile pic. Just saying. But by your post, I assume you're sorta apathetic about the online thing anyway...

As you get older the response rate seems to go down.

If one's tastes remain close to the same, while their looks don't increase (as they usually don't) -- yes.

The worrying thing about being 60 is that quite a few women my age no longer want sex and just wants 'friends'.

I think that's all you'll get -- I wouldn't define women 57-63 as that. I think gals notably younger than you aren't going to want to be just-friends out of nowhere. It's usually going to be a make-or-break sorta thing (unless looking for a sugar daddy for attention-only). Women around your age, when not attracted, are more likely to be open to be friends if they're around your age. But sure, @60+, you will find more women (and men) who are more on the asexual side, yeah (thus more willing to be just-friends with someone that they're not into in-that-way).
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 30
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Posted: 9/6/2017 10:35:14 AM


My response rate is very close to zero.
My first problem is I rarely fancy anyone my own age.

I have been on here for about 20 years now, on and off.
As you get older the response rate seems to go down.
The worrying thing about being 60 is that quite a few women my age no longer want sex and just wants 'friends'.

You have three different problems, which are related.

Now, I do understand where you’re coming from when you say “I rarely fancy anyone my own age”. But your statement is too broad, and you need to re-think this. I am 66, and many women my age don’t “ring the bell” for me. But, and this is a very important “but” … there are many women my age (or within 10 years) who definitely do “ring the bell”. Just concentrate on those you find attractive, and don’t start chasing after those 20 years younger. On occasion, I have dated women 15 to 20 years younger, but that has always occurred in real life, not here in OLD.

Here in OLD, numbers are your enemy. Anything that can be quantified with a number can kill you.

Too old? Disqualified.

Too short? Disqualified.

Too far away? Disqualified.

Now, point number 2: “As you get older the response rate goes down.” I have found exactly the opposite to be true. I started over at age 59, have been at this for almost 8 years now, and my response rate keeps getting better and better. Part of that is learning from my mistakes, and doing a better job of selling myself. And a big part of it is that fewer and fewer men in my age bracket are really trying. And for the record, sending uninspiring first messages to women 20 years younger than you is NOT trying.

Point number 3: “quite a few women my age no longer want sex and just wants ‘friends’”
Nothing could be further from the truth, at least in my experience. The older the age bracket that you’re working in, the smaller the percentage of women who want “casual sex”. But they do want sex, and good sex, and lots of it. They just want you to be committed to them before the sex occurs. Which can be a problem for me, as I tend to not become committed until after the sex has started.

I have been “in love” a number of times over the course of my long life, including one marriage which lasted 27 years. But in every case, intimacy occurred first, and then deeper feelings developed afterwards. But two reasonable adults, who do like each other and want to see if a relationship can work out, can usually find a way. Trust me on that.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 31
Message response rate
Posted: 9/6/2017 9:00:42 PM

I have been on here for about 20 years now, on and off.


Holy shit. This site has been around that long?!?!

I still don't get it, though. There are people here who have stated they have been on the site for years with a zero response rate. That is just insane. They're likely quick to throw in the proverbial towel in other areas of their lives, but for reasons I can't even begin to fathom, they'll hang on for dear life for this instead of searching for better alternatives?
 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 32
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Posted: 9/24/2017 1:06:21 PM
That's an amazing response.

I send out 1,000's of messages and rarely get a response.
But I am old, fat, ugly and broke !
 Greg48051
Joined: 9/3/2017
Msg: 33
Message response rate
Posted: 9/24/2017 6:05:04 PM
thanks for sharing that. I have been on the site for a couple weeks and have had no replies to the messages that I have initiated and no responses to messages that I received and responded to. So for prospects, I am also at zero.

I also come across a lot of profiles in my searches where the women appear younger than their profile states and quite attractive. I can't believe if these women were real that they would have any problem getting dates and have to resort to online dating.
 sugarlandguy
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 34
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Posted: 9/24/2017 7:34:01 PM
"But I am old, fat, ugly and broke !"

But, Honesty goes a long way here.....
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 35
Message response rate
Posted: 10/1/2017 4:01:46 PM
Message to response rate is dependant on factors and circumstance you like statistics. How many messages you sent to women who shared a commonality were successful? How enticing was that message to have them want to view your profile? Did they look at your profile if so how many? And what category were they in non-shared interests or shared interests?

Most guys they just message a woman in hopes of the best, they can't even see where a problem lies. No message being read is not a profile issue if the message don't get them to profile to begin with.

Why do women ignore message? They don't see it as to many filled their box, they ignore it thinking it is like the rest doesn't stand out, the person clearly has no understanding they share nothing in common with the woman so why approach her?

If you don't know who your audience and get them to participate your going to have problem.

If they read the message and don't look at profile, you didn't entice them enough to want to look 2 things the message or pictures with it.

If they did the above and don't respond it is now your profile as a whole, or there are some flaws you might have they won't over look e.g. don't drive, smoke whatever. Know your flaws be aware take them into consideration.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 36
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Posted: 10/1/2017 9:16:28 PM

I have been on the site for a couple weeks and have had no replies to the messages that I have initiated and no responses to messages that I received and responded to. So for prospects, I am also at zero.


I send very, very, very, few messages - when I see a pic or read something that really makes me smile. I have maybe a 40% response rate. I get directly to the point - I mention why I wrote, what I think, wish them good luck and say good-bye. Most of my responses are one sentence or one word.

As for prospects, I am also at zero. My notes are not about getting a date - they are simple communication. A friendly wave. The kind of think you'd say to a long-time friend. I tell guys to write this way - but people don't get it. Everyone want's to throw the long-bomb and score right away. No one wants to live the boring hours of life - they only want a highlight reel. They don't realize that you get to the highlights by living through the boring parts.

So you can talk to women like they are friends - or you can talk to them like they are prey. There are many ways to view the world.

Today I saw a guy wearing swim trunks with photos of cat faces all over it. He was literally hip-deep in ****. He had a smile on his face.
 northwildwoodnjman1969
Joined: 9/18/2012
Msg: 37
Message response rate
Posted: 10/2/2017 12:52:51 PM
My response rate would be about 5% getting responses back to a profile I respond back too 1st. Responses to my profile 1st I would say less then 1% unless you include the spammers and fishers then it would be about 2% of the time
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 38
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Posted: 10/4/2017 11:59:25 AM
Bottom line is OLD does not work very well. In the US over 50 million people have tried OLD and studies have shown that only 5% of committed relationship start with an OLD site. So basically only 2.5 million out of 50 million for successful relationships started using OLD. That is why OLD commercials used to say "1 in 5 relationships start online" because those numbers include all web based interaction from FB to Reddit, online gaming site, all forums and fan pages and everything in between. They had to use misleading stats because the real numbers are not flattering.. and that IS the bottom line.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 39
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Posted: 10/4/2017 4:35:35 PM
20 years?
It was established in 2003.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 40
Message response rate
Posted: 10/4/2017 4:37:30 PM
Damn, Cynderella. Looking good, girl.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 41
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Posted: 10/4/2017 4:44:32 PM
Thanks my Canadian Neighbor
:)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 42
Message response rate
Posted: 10/4/2017 4:47:40 PM
haha.....Canadian neighbor???
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 43
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Posted: 10/4/2017 9:01:15 PM

20 years? It was established in 2003.


He means Canadian years as the winters are so long.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 44
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Posted: 10/6/2017 1:48:14 AM
man a 18% respond rate I would kill for that lol. I think I have messaged like 150 women and gotten like 4 response and even those 4 it was one message and then nothing. My success rate must be like .05% or something. I have tried doing different types of messages to. I have tried doing like the simple hi that people have said you shouldn't do. I have tried message women about something interested in there photo and I have tried message them something that it looks like we have in common. I don't just message random people either. I have seen several women where it looked like we would be a great match well has much has you can think that based off just a profile and not meeting that is lol. I don't just message people who look like models either but of course I have to think they look at least some what good. The only women that I get messages from are women that must weigh like 300lbs or something that I just don't find attractive at all. In fact with the amount of messages I have sent and the lack of response I have had I don't even send out messages that much any more because most of the women left that I have not messaged are either to old/to young or I can tell from there profile we have nothing in common or I just don't find them attractive at all.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 45
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Posted: 10/6/2017 8:37:49 AM

I don't just message people who look like models either but of course I have to think they look at least some what good. The only women that I get messages from are women that must weigh like 300lbs or something that I just don't find attractive at all. In fact with the amount of messages I have sent and the lack of response I have had I don't even send out messages that much any more because most of the women left that I have not messaged are either to old/to young or I can tell from there profile we have nothing in common or I just don't find them attractive at all.


You have a personal standard; the ones who don't reply to you have a personal standard. Swings and roundabouts, my friend.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 46
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Posted: 10/6/2017 9:43:18 AM
I understand that ever one has there standard its just frustrating. Its hard enough of a challenge to meet women my age that are single but then there is always the chance you could like some one but they either don't like you or like you but only like a friend. The fact that I have messaged has many women has I have with out like even the smallest luck just makes me fell like no women are attracted to me other then ones I don't find attractive. I know dating is a numbers game and that all it takes is that 1 person but if you are able to talk and go on more dates then it is more likely that you are going to find the one that clicks. The odd thing to is I will get some women that say they would like to meet on the meet me thing but yet they will not message me or if I message them I get no responds. So why would you say you would like to meet if you are not going to bother to message them?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 47
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Posted: 10/6/2017 10:29:24 AM

I understand that ever one has there standard its just frustrating. Its hard enough of a challenge to meet women my age that are single but then there is always the chance you could like some one but they either don't like you or like you but only like a friend.

I think Many people's standards change when online. Standards change due to changing environments. Both standards and Taste. You put No Drinking -- which is going to be more picky online than IRL where singles are at. IRL, if you're mingling 100% fine, but you're just drinking club soda with a lime (nobody can tell the diff anyway) -- they already see how you roll IRL in relation to them, whereas online -- you better be hot to them, because there's a high probability that having more than 1 or 2 drinks is going to make that no-drinker frustrated.

Then the other factor is Taste which I think is the greatest -- which gets most people's % down overall. The % should not be high in the first place, btw -- as not everyone is utilizing the app Looking for someone Right Then (but may later), or are just window-shopping-only, etc. But Taste is Higher online for many women, and timing is key as well. You have to have the looks (or something stemming out from your profile that resonates with her) that is Higher than just-worthy-to-chat-with IRL -- to get responses that would lead to a counter-reponse by her as well. You can end up phrasing your messages to generate A response, but that means nothing if they're not going to reply and avoid conversation.

In a nutshell, ya gotta be one where a couple gals, of Some type, are mall-watching the crowd at the bar for guys and one says at least could point you out to the other and say "Oh, he's kinda cute". If you can't get that by any genre of girls, your luck's going to be on the Lower end if you're not only going for gals who You're out of the league of. It's about a 2.5-to-3 : 1 ratio of girls to guys. Their tastes are higher than IRL by default + the sausage-fest only increases it.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 48
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Posted: 10/6/2017 10:52:44 AM
I never understood that either about there being a lot more guys then girls on online dating sites. Why is that? I mean WW population is like 51% women and like 49% men so shouldn't online dating be the same? With the population % the amount of single men and single women out there is going to be close to the same. Its not like there are way more single men then women so why is it different with online? Are women just not wanting to use online dating? I don't get it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 49
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Posted: 10/6/2017 11:12:57 AM

I never understood that either about there being a lot more guys then girls on online dating sites. Why is that?

For the same reason you have a low %. It's the underlining reason to it all...

I mean WW population is like 51% women and like 49% men so shouldn't online dating be the same?

No. Why are there more men in most bars, when you eliminate the couples going out to them? Sure, at certain times at certain bars there can be more gals when you throw bachelorette parties into the mix (which isn't a high-level of success mingling, as many are already taken and don't go out to bars much) -- but you have to move from one to other where girls are at. Online, it's a Greater Discrepancy. So why is that?

Because going online when single has a social negative "tinge" to it. Not horribly bad for most or anything, and not nearly as bad as the late 90s and early-to-mid 00s... but it's still prevalent. Girls see it as a "resort". There's a mild level of embarrassment for many. Even for some guys. Even when one wouldn't call it that, it still has that "tinge" to it in that direction. So when a gal goes online, she's going to be More Picky. For many, sure, it's something to try out when single for a while and several friends are now taken -- but many will dip in the pool and get out -- or give it a go, but their "standards" are going to be Higher than normal. "I'm not going online, then meeting some... average Joe. Oh, if I'm doing that, he needs to be a CATCH," is at least the back-of-the-mind thinking.

It's not the same as IRL or going to a Xmas party mingling, man. :)
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 50
Message response rate
Posted: 11/28/2017 7:44:01 AM
Most women will always have a higher response rate than men.
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