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 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 51
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:-)
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 52
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Posted: 11/28/2017 9:14:59 AM

I never understood that either about there being a lot more guys then girls on online dating sites. Why is that? I mean WW population is like 51% women and like 49% men so shouldn't online dating be the same?


The conclusion of your argument is flawed, formally related to the 'ecological fallacy' = assuming something about a subgroup from universal data.


With the population % the amount of single men and single women out there is going to be close to the same. Its not like there are way more single men then women so why is it different with online? Are women just not wanting to use online dating? I don't get it.


Many reasons and a few have been covered already. Additionally:
One important reason is that dating is not equal to lifetime first marriage of one man to one woman. For the aggregate data sets, you assert that men and women tend to the same number of partners in their lifetimes. Does that jive with observation?

If we call partners sexual partners just to have diagnostic, several studies show men average nearly twice as many sexual partners in their lifetime. If you stipulate this to be directionally correct, please submit an essay on how that is possible if women consist of ~50% of the population. Extra credit if you cover the impact of pregnancy and women spending more time on child rearing, and relate this to promiscuous or "alpha" men. And this is in addition to what's been posted before...

Cheers
9
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 53
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Posted: 11/28/2017 4:31:09 PM

If we call partners sexual partners just to have diagnostic, several studies show men average nearly twice as many sexual partners in their lifetime.

Yeah, that always gets me. What Really gets me is that when in basically Every study, men's Avg # they slept with is Notably > than women's Avg # they slept with -- most people don't bat an eye and see how this cannot be true. Could be in a certain study with some real "odd luck" -- but it's consistent. The best you'll see in studies is that the # is somewhat close. Usually, it's men on average sleeping with Solidly more women than women with men.

But that Literally Cannot be the Actual case, and it's logically Easy to see why it can't be. Yet, people have to Think Real Hard to realize why not, despite that. Why? Social conditioning. :)
 TheTenOfClubs2017
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 54
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Posted: 12/6/2017 1:00:09 PM
I check my inbox daily and have to turn away a lot of disappointed women(Shrugs)
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 55
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Posted: 12/6/2017 4:35:38 PM
Most women do not need to go onto online dating sites.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 56
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Posted: 12/6/2017 7:18:11 PM

Most women do not need to go onto online dating sites.

Technically, that's true. Virtually nobody, man or woman Literally Needs to, but then again, nobody NEEDS to have a fruitful dating life. You take away women who are "taken", officially or unofficially (thus not in a wise position to date) -- and you eliminate about Half. So obviously a majority wouldn't need to because 100% of Single women don't need online dating. Of Single women -- there are A Lot who do -- but they need it less than men. But many gals who don't go out to the bars and many friends and friends of friends are taken and don't go out either -- while their workplace is no outlet for it, and they are busy in life with work and/or kids, etc ... something Online, although not necessarily online dating sites (Facebook, taking the "scenic route"; or "Meetup.com" to expand social life if free-time isn't 100% the reason), is Kind of a necessity for adequate dating when 100% single.

But yeah, gals need cyberspace a lot Less than guys do. That's why there's about a 2.5:1 (guy-to-girl) ratio amongst the active age groups who use online. Gals don't need it as much. But it's not an unnecessary endeavor for many who do, though.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 57
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Posted: 12/6/2017 7:32:48 PM
actually, i'd change that to "most women who are at least attractive". The more attractive, the less they need more male attention. Unless their personality truly sucks eggs, then they need new men who don't know them well enough yet.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 58
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Posted: 12/7/2017 1:39:09 AM
So what's the OP crying about? 18 percent? Lot of us would love to have that kind of percentage. Of course, lot of us aren't statistic nerds with nothing better to do than crunch numbers and whine. Belt up crybaby.
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 59
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Posted: 12/7/2017 6:02:01 AM
If you ask most women how they met their husbands or boyfriends most likely they did not meet them on some online dating site. While alot of men are wasting their time here another men are asking them out in real life. The men asking out in real life are the ones that are going to get the most dates.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 60
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Posted: 12/7/2017 12:43:02 PM

If you ask most women how they met their husbands or boyfriends most likely they did not meet them on some online dating site.


Three of the last four weddings I was invited to or attended (work conflicts with two of them) found each other through OLD. None on POF though. The forth was at a bar, he was bar tending. Thinking more broadly, I can’t of one wedding I even heard of, in the last ten years, where people met through a social event/mixer. I have found online ranges in the top three for how couples meet/marry. Happenstance is another odd way...had a cousin find his wife working at his neighborhood grocery store in the city, another at the gym. As much as it is discouraged and demonized, I’m still hearing ‘at the office,’ client/customer, although no longer by the wedding.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 61
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Posted: 12/7/2017 12:50:20 PM
That's funny. Four out of five of the last weddings I attended (including my own) were of couples that met through OLD. The fifth was of a couple that met at a work-related conference.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 62
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Posted: 12/7/2017 6:56:20 PM
Interesting. I don’t go to very many weddings, don’t know that many people getting married, to tell you the truth. I was at one wedding recently ( I did the music), and that couple met through a Meetup event. And I was invited to another wedding, which I skipped, and they also met through Meetup.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 63
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Posted: 12/9/2017 4:45:45 PM

If you ask most women how they met their husbands or boyfriends most likely they did not meet them on some online dating site.

You take away people Hiding it (more do than you think), your statement's simply untrue, notably for people late 20s to late 50s. I hate to break that to ya. It's a Yuge Mainstream pipeline. Even a normal one for those in their early-to-mid 20s, and 60+.

While alot of men are wasting their time here another men are asking them out in real life. The men asking out in real life are the ones that are going to get the most dates.

Many men do Both. It's not one Or the other. Those who are too timid to approach gals at the bar or events -- yes, will get less dates. A large % probably don't do as well online as they could, because they're probably more timid in the online rat race sausage-fest than some others. But what you do, like many do, is Both. If you hunt down girls at church, it doesn't mean you don't do it at the bar, at an event, at a work party, or online. Online is a big, mainstream pipeline for people of all types.

I was at one wedding recently ( I did the music)

DJ Henry X! The hip record scratcher from POF! ;)

and that couple met through a Meetup event. And I was invited to another wedding, which I skipped, and they also met through Meetup.

The closest thing to online dating that isn't online dating. Online socializing. I had one friend from way back in the day when POF had local parties... he kept an invisible profile and never talked to gals on POF, but he'd just go straight to the parties and try and get laid (and sometimes would).

I think if Meetup had some weird known consequence that if you tried dating (or anything close to it) with someone from a Meetup meeting, that you'd be banned from all Meetup groups -- even if you started dating them right after you both ceased memberships -- there'd be a significant less # of people (namely guys) going to the groups of mixed genders. :) But YMMV depending on what type of group it is.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 64
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Posted: 12/9/2017 11:29:36 PM


DJ Henry X! The hip record scratcher from POF! ;)

Well, not quite. I don’t have a turntable, just a computer, a microphone, a mixer, and a couple of big PA speakers. And, oh yeah, about 53,000 mp3 files.

I DJed for a private party this evening. I met the women who were having the party through Meetup, but this was not a Meetup event. Some very attractive women at this party, I danced all night, and have 2 dates for next week, one to go dancing, another for a movie (I want to see that new Morgan Freeman / Tommy Lee Jones movie).

I think a part of this is the season. There’s another thread somewhere here in these forums about “cuffing season”, and I do believe that plays a part in it.



there'd be a significant less # of people (namely guys) going to the groups of mixed genders. :) But YMMV depending on what type of group it is.

Funny thing, two of the Meetup groups I belong to are now have a nearly even ratio of men and women at the average event. A couple of years ago, it would normally run 3:1 or 4:1, many more women than men. But these days it’s coming close to 1:1. I suspect word got around, and more men started showing up.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 65
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Posted: 12/11/2017 11:01:18 PM
dinno76

and if they do try it they are soon disillusioned with the men on offer and who contact them.
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 66
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Posted: 12/22/2017 3:24:42 AM
Precisely 0.0000%

Lesson here is don't be an ugly ****.
 goldenknight14
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 67
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Posted: 12/22/2017 9:59:09 PM
The vast majority of women on this site are either morbidly obese or are single mothers . Some are even both. They are on pof for an ego boost. This explains why you gentlemen are getting a low response rate. The truth of the matter is you are much more likely to have a woman respond to a post on this forum with a snarky comment than you are to have her respond to your message of interest. POF is EXTREMELY gynocentric. deal with it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 68
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Posted: 12/23/2017 10:30:46 AM

goldenknight14
The vast majority of women on this site are either morbidly obese or are single mothers . Some are even both. They are on pof for an ego boost. This explains why you gentlemen are getting a low response rate. The truth of the matter is you are much more likely to have a woman respond to a post on this forum with a snarky comment than you are to have her respond to your message of interest. POF is EXTREMELY gynocentric. deal with it.

Jesus, dude, get over yourself. This is really very, very simple. If the picture doesn’t appeal to you, then move on to the next. It’s like walking down the street and girl watching. Unless you’re in Venice Beach, the great majority of the women are not going to be worthy of a second look. So you wait for, and concentrate on, the ones who do appeal to you, right?

POF is just a web server somewhere out on the internet, with some really second rate software running everything. It’s a tool, and like any other tool, what matters is how well you use that tool. A master carpenter can do more and better work with the crummiest broken down tools than you or I could do with the finest set of woodworking tools ever invented by mankind.

And alpha__waves, quit carping about how ugly you are and put up some decent pictures so the women can actually get a look at you and judge for themselves. Until then, please shut up about how ugly you are.
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 69
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Posted: 12/23/2017 1:41:18 PM
My pictures are better than yours there, Dad Jeans.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 70
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Posted: 12/23/2017 2:05:34 PM
Geez goldenknight14, you're pretty bitter. :) You're taking an uphill battle, and painting a picture of climbing mount Everest. It's not, but frustration will make ya feel like it is.

Yeah, POF brings in the most single moms vs other places. But it also has the most people, due to it being free & popular (popularity begets popularity). So as pointed out above, it's going to be like walking down the street, mall-watching. Most you see you aren't going to like. But there Are attractive women on here of course -- and yes, when you're scoping out women 35+, and you're not living in a big city metropolis, a very large majority are going to have some kids. Duh -- right? Should be expected. This isn't your problem, really. Again, there's Tons o people on here.

Your actual problem is, is that there's about a 2.5 : 1 ratio of guys to girls. So for every 25 dudes, there's 10 girls. Yes, for female users who aren't easily frazzled/freaked out by getting messages from odd-looking guys -- it Is an ego-boost. Yep. An Average Jane @32 with no kids, a self-supporting solid job -- with this ratio? She's solidly above average in looks when compared to IRL and at the bar. An average Joe has low chances of nabbing them. You can overcome the ratio differential by writing solidly (and no essays to said gals), making the right moves, so it won't seem as bad as a 2.5:1 ratio. But it's still uphill, and your odds aren't great if you're not a hot guy. Don't get frustrated. It's like going to a bar where it's a sausage-fest. You can't sit there and stew and complain -- you walk in there, you know your odds. You can still get an opening with a gal if luck's a bit on your side... but in the end, go to another. Online though, you're not wasting valuable time on weekend evening hours & money on drinks... but you learn how to better your odds, and Yes, you can get a gal in your league on here. It's not a crazy notion.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 71
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:45:50 PM
My profile says, "If you want a response, have something interesting to say."

Typical message: "hi wanna chat?"

Either they didn't read my profile, they think that's interesting, or they think I'm just kidding. I don't respond to those messages.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 72
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Posted: 1/5/2018 5:42:26 PM
"Yeah, that always gets me. What Really gets me is that when in basically Every study, men's Avg # they slept with is Notably > than women's Avg # they slept with -- most people don't bat an eye and see how this cannot be true."


Maybe some of them are lying - the men are bragging and the women aren't admitting they've been sleeping around. ;-)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 73
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Posted: 1/5/2018 7:44:13 PM

norwegianguy456
Yeah, that always gets me. What Really gets me is that when in basically Every study, men's Avg # they slept with is Notably > than women's Avg # they slept with -- most people don't bat an eye and see how this cannot be true. Could be in a certain study with some real "odd luck" -- but it's consistent. The best you'll see in studies is that the # is somewhat close. Usually, it's men on average sleeping with Solidly more women than women with men.

But that Literally Cannot be the Actual case, and it's logically Easy to see why it can't be. Yet, people have to Think Real Hard to realize why not, despite that. Why? Social conditioning. :)

Actually, it can be true. The reasoning is complicated, involving set theory and statistics (remember “mean” and how much that confused you in school?)

The underlying problem is that it is MUCH easier for a woman to sleep with a really larger number of men. And one woman sleeping with 500 men will not have much effect on the “mean” average, so …


arwen52
Maybe some of them are lying - the men are bragging and the women aren't admitting they've been sleeping around. ;-)

That is another possibility. A very strong possibility.
 DINNO76
Joined: 12/20/2017
Msg: 74
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Posted: 1/6/2018 10:55:28 AM
97% of men have a 0% success rate when it comes to online dating. That is why so many give up and quit.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 75
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Posted: 1/6/2018 2:33:22 PM

DINNO76
97% of men have a 0% success rate when it comes to online dating. That is why so many give up and quit.

Instead of just making up numbers, you could do a google search and find some actual numbers.



http://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-statistics

Some interesting statistics about online dataing:

In 2015, the Pew Research Center found over half of men and women believe online dating is a great venue for meeting people.

That same Pew Research Center study said two-thirds of online daters have gone out with someone with whom they were matched.

Phactual.com says more than half of users fabricate some or all of their dating profile. For example, 20% of women will use photos from when they were younger, while 40% of men will lie about their jobs.

One out of every 10 online daters will give up after 90 days, as reported by Statistic Brain.
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