Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating sure has changed , shallow women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 51
DANCE or DIEPage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

My approach is a bit different. I don't do the asking a woman to dance thing. I go out to the floor by myself and work my way through the crowd, and the results vary. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes they will make first body contact and pull me into them, and some of the bolder ones with a few drinks in them have even kissed me on the dance floor. The good news is, even on the nights where nothing happened, there was no actual "rejection" that occurred.

Now, as for a "first date", if you sense everything is going well, don't even ask the woman if she wants to dance. Stand up out of your chair, hold your hand out, and say "come on, let's go out to the dance floor." If she's one of the rare ones who doesn't like dancing, then just leave it be. Don't try to talk her into it. She will likely get pissy and begin to feel like you're judging her. But if she is one that does like it and she's digging you, she will never forget the way you took charge as opposed to her having to ask if *you* liked dancing first.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 52
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/15/2017 3:26:20 PM
Why yes, MsSkeezix, I do what I enjoy, and that makes me self centered. We all are, if we have hobbies and interests that at this point in our lives, we know are more enjoyable :) Its not always a bad thing, which is why I was nice about it. Now, hopefully we who are self centered, will still be open minded to at least take a look at someone's proposal (of course there are self centered women who can't even do that, and that might not be very polite), consider it on its merits, and find a nice, polite way to say, "sorry". For example, I don't drink, so if you want desperately to take me out on a date to a bourbon-tasting event b/c you love bourbon so much...i'm going to be self centered and admit, i'm just not interested....sorry. I won't have to try it to know I don't like the taste of bourbon, even your favorite bourbon.

As far as dancing is concerned, i'm not surprised that some who have posted before about their ability to attract women when they were younger, have success with dancing. A handsome man showing he can move his hips, I have no doubt that worked as well as him just standing there and flirting in any other way. I can say, I've never gotten a date that way. As many women have rejected a offer to dance with me (yes, even told me they don't dance, there were more than a few), as have accepted. Shaking your hips doesn't hypnotize a woman, or make her unable to control her feelings. Maybe as the night got longer and she drank more "beer goggles", shaking the hips did something to her groin. But I never went home with a phone number or a warm body that I didn't arrive with.

I guess I can agree, there are women who will watch who is dancing. I was at a wedding for a family who loves dancing, and had a few wives come up and say they had permission from their husbands to dance with me. On the flip side...its a wedding, what else is there to do but watch the entertainment going on right in front of your table? :) Dancing can be a great way for a woman ALREADY INTERESTED to get physical with you, test your ability to handle it, figure out if you act like a jerk on questioning, etc. It can also be a way for women NOT INTERESTED to make the evening pass by. it can show a woman you have the balls to shake it on the dance floor, but in a big cosmopolitan city, especially one that focuses on arts..that's not as unique as out in the countryside.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 53
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 7:34:43 AM

Shaking your hips doesn't hypnotize a woman, or make her unable to control her feelings.


It won't make a guy she would normally be repulsed by attractive, but it will surely elevate her opinion of a guy she might otherwise be on the fence about. Dancing is foreplay for a lot of women.

Not to mention, with a guy going out there, half of it is about being seen. More women will see you than they would if you choose to sit at a table all night. I can't sit in one spot for too long, myself. I feel like I'm suffocating in a box.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 9:17:46 AM


Not interested in sloppy seconds.

That is one of the nastiest things I have ever seen anyone, man or woman, say here in these forums. I am calling you out on that one, you should definitely crawl back under your rock and leave the sane people alone.


ThePigOfYourDreams
I don't do the asking a woman to dance thing. I go out to the floor by myself ….

Now, as for a "first date", if you sense everything is going well, don't even ask the woman if she wants to dance. Stand up out of your chair, hold your hand out, and say "come on, let's go out to the dance floor." If she's one of the rare ones who doesn't like dancing, then just leave it be. Don't try to talk her into it. She will likely get pissy and begin to feel like you're judging her. But if she is one that does like it and she's digging you, she will never forget the way you took charge as opposed to her having to ask if *you* liked dancing first.

At a Meetup event, where there is dancing, I will usually approach a woman, catch her eye, and tilt my head towards the dance floor with a questioning look on my face. At least 80 or 90% of the time, they get up and dance with me. If the event is too crowded, and I can’t catch her eye, I will walk up to her, bow and extend my hand for her to take. Words aren’t needed.

At a regular club, not a Meetup event, I will politely ask. In those cases, where the woman doesn’t know me, and hasn’t seen me dance, my odds are about 50-50. Later in the evening, the odds are that she has seen other women dance with me, feels that I am safe, and my odds of getting a yes go up dramatically.


gtomustang
A handsome man showing he can move his hips, I have no doubt that worked as well as him just standing there and flirting in any other way. I can say, I've never gotten a date that way. As many women have rejected a offer to dance with me (yes, even told me they don't dance, there were more than a few), as have accepted. Shaking your hips doesn't hypnotize a woman, or make her unable to control her feelings.

So, the cold approach, asking a woman you don’t know to dance, results in a 50-50 ratio of success? Is that what you’re saying? Hell’s bells, man, a 50% chance of success with women is heaven on earth! I seriously doubt George Clooney or Brad Pitt could get a 50% response rate sending initial messages here on POF!

If you can’t handle a 50% rejection ratio, you should immediately resign from the human race and move to some backwater somewhere and never meet people again. Oh, wait, you’ve already done that, and we’re trying to convince you to rejoin the world.

Come on in, the water’s fine!


ThePigOfYourDreams
It won't make a guy she would normally be repulsed by attractive, but it will surely elevate her opinion of a guy she might otherwise be on the fence about. Dancing is foreplay for a lot of women.

Not to mention, with a guy going out there, half of it is about being seen. More women will see you than they would if you choose to sit at a table all night.

A big thumbs up to that one.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 55
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 10:47:59 AM
Trying to think back long ago, I think that, yes, perhaps my success rate in getting a woman off her chair and onto the dance floor may have been around 50-50 or so. Unfortunately, the amount of attractive women in those dance clubs or at wedding parties who weren't there with their bf were...maybe one or two :) So, yes, it is a good ratio. But dancing with a woman, for me anyway, is a long shot away from getting a phone number or an interest. B/c when I say dancing, I don't mean slow dancing/touching each other. THOSE didn't work, and I stopped bothering to try. I mean the usual fast tempo, keep distance sort of dancing most people do in a club.

Apparently being self taught, I must have had some move that interested people who were already interested in dancing. I wasn't the only guy asking these ladies to dance, they were out on the floor with a few different people, sometimes female friends. I rarely went to dance clubs alone, so usually I danced with a friend who came with me, and when she took a break I asked someone else, so they already had an idea I wasn't a total schlub on the dance floor. At some weddings, come to think of it, I was dancing w/ people I sorta knew, or knew thru someone else, so I guess those who responded positively knew I wasn't a creep. Admittedly, i'm not pawing strangers on the dance floor, not dancing close, not asking them immediately for their number, so maybe that's why dancing for me doesn't lead to dates and it does for others. but I suspect Pig is correct, if a woman isn't considering a romantic relationship when she lays eyes on me, dancing won't change that. If she looks at me and wonders what a romantic relationship would be like, shaking my hips might put a check-mark in my favor column.

I'll go out on a limb, and declare that dancing is foreplay for women who are sensual in nature...which tend to be the ones who enjoy sex enough to go out of their way to get it, rather than wait for it to fall into their lap (no pun intended). The ultimate way to judge any woman's interest, besides doing a brain scan, is to see if she's having sex with the guy. Just like a client, they'll take all the free meals the salesman offers, but are they buying the product with their own money? If so...they're interested.

Honestly, if 50% of the women I asked out on a date, over my 40+ years, had said yes, I wouldn't be so turned off on asking women out. A 50% rejection rate is acceptable in just about anything. When its, oh, I don't know, let's say 70%, one feels its time to re-assess. So I tried other ways to get dates, and the same failure rate, and so on. Like I said, I did much better searching the country and hopping on a plane, but that was before TSA and frankly I don't want to be doing that to get down to a 50% failure rate.

When I was in first grade, two friends I shared a lot of personality traits in common and I would chase the prettiest girls in our class at recess. When I chased, the girls ran in a zig zag so I couldn't catch them. When my friends chased, the girls ran straight and true and amazingly, easily got caught as if they wanted to. When we all talked about what we were doing after school, my friends got asked by the girls, no one asked me, and if I biked over to my friends, the girls were already there. By 5th grade, they were already "dating" and the girls fussed over who was the real girlfriend. at that young an age and innocence, did physical looks matter? not like we knew anything about anything else that did :) we all have an advantage at SOMETHING in life. Heck, during the summer, it might be that your parents had a pool and our's did not :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 56
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 11:20:21 AM

............I'll go out on a limb,


When and where?

All this dance talk................LOL, I left the church of my youth, when I was 19. First thing I did was go out with friends to the night club in town. Open 6 nights a week, I was there for 3. That was when the music was live. Favorite band was 'Vickie and the Holding Co.' One woman, 5 men. She could sinnnngg and towards the end of the night she'd get out on the dance floor and pass a bottle of Southern Comfort.
I quickly learned to "dance' / shake my hips and one of the guys taught me how to do, 'The Bump', x 6. On the dance floor every song, from opening to closing. Wow! I miss those days!

I have nooo idea where there are any dance clubs, in this area, for at least 50 miles.

Maybe that's all there is, The Hokey Pokey?
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 57
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 12:22:32 PM
Yeah LIRed, nothing in my area either and i love to dance- just wedding receptions to shake a leg,hip, shoulder ,whatever you fancy. Very disappointing most live entertainment now karaoke. Even when music-not dance venues in my area.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 58
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 12:33:11 PM
"I have nooo idea where there are any dance clubs, in this area, for at least 50 miles."

The younger generation listens mostly to rap music. Do people actually dance to rap music? I don't hang out at clubs where the clientele is barely the legal drinking age, so I have no idea about what they would dance to.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 59
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 12:49:04 PM
Dance clubs seem to be mostly for the college aged crowd...when I used to go, we'd look at couples my age now and wonder, WTF? I live in a small state with universities close by, so we have dance clubs from here down to the ocean, and sports bars with room for dancing but few of the cowpokes know how, and I guess the rest of the joints are for serious drinking. No "Dave and Busters" back then, I haven't been in one yet to know what people do in there besides play video games.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 60
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 2:47:44 PM
We have dance clubs here really nice last night was country western. Next one is Nov 3 costume one, they offer dance lessons for those who want to brush up on skills as well. Ages there usually 40+ and music is targeted to 50+ won't find many youngins there and it's both filled with couples and singles a like.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/16/2017 3:39:13 PM


I have nooo idea where there are any dance clubs, in this area, for at least 50 miles.


There isn't. The closest "MIGHT" be Chicago. Even then, I wouldn't count on them being in great numbers.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Bowing
Posted: 9/16/2017 3:47:45 PM

If the event is too crowded, and I can’t catch her eye, I will walk up to her, bow and extend my hand for her to take.

Ooh, that's a nice gesture, Henry.
 MizPurl
Joined: 6/11/2016
Msg: 63
Bowing
Posted: 9/16/2017 5:41:13 PM
Dancing in ....South bend, Indiana
https://www.yellowpages.com/south-bend-in/country-line-dance-bars
http://www.thecowboyup.com/
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Bowing
Posted: 9/16/2017 6:06:24 PM
Oh YEAH! Go there and get shot. There has been a couple raids, and several shootings at that dump.

Since I think cowboy music is what comes out of the horse's hind end, -no.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Ducking
Posted: 9/16/2017 10:03:19 PM
Around 2000 - when I was still going out to dance on a regular basis, I went mostly to two places:
-1) A downtown spot with a nice wood floor, big boxes to dance on ( I did ), good lighting, and a mix of contemporary and Old School dance music, R&B, & disco.
- 2) A slightly out of the way, old-as-shit dance dungeon that had few lights, one giant tub of iced beer (no taps), concrete floor (ouch!) and played the latest hip-hop, rap, R&B, & house music, sometimes a live rapper or heavy-duty mixing DJs. Music was "da bomb". Parking lot was full of scum at closing, hollerin' out of windows and sitting across the street half-drunk. I knew my life was at risk every time I went, but I was never harassed by anyone - also never got any dates there, either!!

A distant #3 was a 40+ minute drive all the way across town, metal scanners, but fairly clean, two levels, two dance floors, good music, and always packed. Because I was a full-night dancer, I like to watch other people who were good. Some were good with footwork (like me), some were good with a full routine & combos, some could only do the angry-boyfriend shuffle (head down, hunched shoulders, barely moving), some could only do a butt-grind. It was always neat to be part of a dance circle where people compared their skills. Didn't happen every week, though.

Eventually, I got old, fat, tired.....oh, well....and yet some of the "kids" at work say I'm better than they are at half my age. Well...some people LIKE to dance, and some people don't. Do what you like.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 66
Ducking
Posted: 9/17/2017 6:09:42 AM

No "Dave and Busters" back then, I haven't been in one yet to know what people do in there besides play video games.


We have one here near Universal Studios. I am a bright lights, big city kind of guy, but five minutes in that place makes me long for seclusion. It is excruciatingly noisy. Hundreds of bleeps, blips, sirens, etc. coming at you from every angle.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 67
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 8:00:24 AM

Dancing in ....South bend, Indiana


I'm chuckling.
The purpose of the "dance" mentioned in this thread, was............. as a place to meet, new people. With that said, in the case of purplerider, or myself, (since I wrote the, "less than 50 miles" comment) we live somewhat near South Bend, Indiana.
Home to Notre Dame University.

I did a search, of any bar and grille / dance club, currently open, (not out of business) and the only places to dance are frequented by the college age group. Not hardly appropriate for the above 50's age group.

And ............thecowboyup? LOL Ok I lied, by the shortest route it is 48.1 miles, from downtown South Bend, so therefore it would be less than 50 miles!
I'm only assuming here, one must love country music / line dancing to want to be there?

I'll pass, thank you!
Carry on!

Meanwhile back at the ranch................
 MizPurl
Joined: 6/11/2016
Msg: 68
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 8:35:25 AM
Ten years back...when I first single.
My friend and I would travel an hour or two for dances and yes, sometimes we got a room close by.
New Years...one Halloween..
It is harder to find age appropriate dances but they have them. Then of course, the music has to be something you want to listen to.

There use to be a 2 story bar in a city, half an hour away....upstairs was canned music (catered to the younger crowd), downstairs was always a Blues band.
The differences in music brought the age variations and they co-mingled.
My idea to go to "dances" was to dance...not find a guy to date.
But yes....a guy at a dance....that could dance was a commodity.
I was never shy to ask a guy to dance.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 69
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 9:13:15 AM

I was never shy to ask a guy to dance.


But you're too chicken shit to reveal your identity on a message board....hahaha.

Yeah, I bet you're real gutsy in person!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 9:51:31 AM
Back in the day, I went to clubs where I was the minority. I usually got plenty of dances cause I have some rhythm. I was told if you could move on the floor, you could move between the sheets...
 MizPurl
Joined: 6/11/2016
Msg: 71
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 10:07:32 AM
The more it bothers you....the less apt I am to show you my picture or disclose who I may be.
See no point in it. I could post a picture....would it really be me. I can be anyone...online.
There's many on here that don't have pictures....why aren't you b1tchin' at them?
Oh.....because they agree with you or didn't call you on your bull ?
Let's all hold hands and whine together.

When you read back....I said the 2 of you complaining about her....have shared worse stories and it's true.
Henry rambled on about how he doesn't grade women by their looks...unless their DDG....rollseyes.
You...immediately read my profile and called me a fat slob....and started in with the swearing.
Didn't expect anything better from you.

Two Mr. Perfects...
Denigrating a woman and her experiences of dating...behind her back.
I don't know about being real gutsy but never one to follow the crowd...I don't take kindly to bullies.
Carry on....done with trying to explain myself.
I expect more name calling......will be needed.
Pfft!

@CoolDog...so they say. :-)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Bowing
Posted: 9/17/2017 10:17:58 AM

gtomustang
Honestly, if 50% of the women I asked out on a date, over my 40+ years, had said yes, I wouldn't be so turned off on asking women out. A 50% rejection rate is acceptable in just about anything. When its, oh, I don't know, let's say 70%, one feels its time to re-assess. So I tried other ways to get dates, and the same failure rate, and so on.

I can think of several angles to approach this from. Let me try this angle. Cowboy used to say that the only thing that mattered was positive replies in your inbox. For this discussion, I’ll modify that slightly to say, the only thing that matters is getting a date, having a woman say “yes” when you ask her to meet you for a drink or coffee or whatever.

You are being overly concerned with your success rate, that should not be not your number one concern – unless, that is, you’re having no success at all. Your number one concern should be, what are we going to do on that date? What am I going to wear? How do I impress her, and get that second date?



When I was in first grade, two friends I shared a lot of personality traits in common and I would chase the prettiest girls in our class at recess. When I chased, the girls ran in a zig zag so I couldn't catch them. When my friends chased, the girls ran straight and true and amazingly, easily got caught as if they wanted to.

I did not chase girls in the first grade. Or in the fifth grade. By the time I was in high school, and actually interested in girls, I was quite well aware that 1) I was fat and 2) girls don’t like fat guys. So I left them alone, and they left me alone (other than asking for help with their homework, or letting them cheat off my test paper).

Then a friend of mine convinced me to go out for football. Once I made the team (as a down lineman, naturally), I was home free. Girls would flirt with me. I managed to lose my virginity (a really big deal to a high school kid).

I never liked playing football. Down in the trenches, where I was, it’s all about hitting people and being hit. Giving pain, and receiving pain. Two concepts I never liked. But that was the price to be paid, and it WAS worth it.

These days, I have to read a lot of profiles, send a lot of initial messages, go on a lot of initial meetings that don’t work out. That is the price to be paid, and it IS worth it. To me. YMMV



Dance clubs seem to be mostly for the college aged crowd.

Some are, some aren’t. My main profile picture was taken at a “piano bar” called Howl At The Moon, which is in a trendy part of Houston (midtown) and is a hangout for twenty something professionals. On that particular night, we had a Meetup there, and took over the place. One of our members had won a “party” giveaway. Two free drink tickets for everyone that you invite. We scheduled a Friday, and about 60 Zoomers showed up. We literally took over the place, had them playing the music we wanted, and we danced and partied the night away.

It was kind of funny, the kids would come in, look around at all of the old geezers, and leave. Some stuck around, and asked “WTF is a Zoomer anyay?”

Most of the places that I go to when not with a Meetup group are places that I discovered by going to Meetups. Caps Piano Bar (a hangout for the older crowd), the Remington (always a live band on Saturday night, rather dress up, but a good mix of ages), the Brick House down in Kemah (rowdy, but fun).

And then there is Bernhardt Winery, about an hour north of Houston. They often have live music events on Sunday afternoon / evening. They bring in some very good bands, and you bring your lawn chair, sit on a hill side under some huge oak trees, and there is a dance floor down in front of the band stand. Next Sunday, the 24th, they are having an Eagles tribute band, very good, and there will probably be 50 or 60 of my friends from Meetup there. And a few hundred not from the Meetup, an excellent chance to meet and dance with new women.

The single best looking, most attractive woman that I have dated in the last 7 years I met at Bernhardt Winery about 2 years ago. It didn’t last long, but my god she was beautiful. Took my breath away every time I saw her.

Life is good.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 73
Ducking
Posted: 9/17/2017 2:49:25 PM
"five minutes in that place makes me long for seclusion"

>>>I got that vibe from the commericals, maybe that's why I haven't scratched any itch of curiousity :)

In my day, we had a few clubs we'd stay a bullet's range from. They constantly made the "twitter feed" of the good ol' days, called the front page of a newspaper, below the fold. But some other places realized, keeping a place clean and as free of Bozos as possible (hence the sticker on the door, Bozo the clown caught in a red circle and slash) helped keep the clientele coming in and paying for the safety. And we're a state on the ocean, so there were places down there that practically minted money for part of the season. (not to be gross, but one place was grandfathered in and had too small a septic system to handle the crowd, so every day right after the state investigator's office who could have closed 'em down for it, went home for the day, the septic truck would come in and handle the problem. They made enough money each night to be worth doing that every day, from spring until snow landed).

around here, a dance club that caters to the over 30 crowd is labeled, "a restaurant with a dance floor" :) Or a blues joint, I haven't noticed if we have piano bars, I think we used to call those, "c0cktail lounges"? There's a place in an upscale Yuppie city that does singles on sunday, they used to separate the crowd by age so they could play age-appropriate music, but now they just herd every0ne together. thinking about it, I have to say, the problem with picking up in clubs and bars is the noise. If you talk to someone to show off your intellect, by the third sentence the person's still trying to translate what you said in the second sentence, and any effect is lost. Best to keep convo simple and let your body do the talking. Cooldog, you're correct, Elvis got his screams from the dreams of what his hips could do.

Henry, you are correct, I am results-focused, I don't flirt for the sake of flirting anymore. It used to be fun, but getting a woman to date me for dinner isn't....well, difficult. Plenty of strangers will say no, but I've had a lot of female friends in life who will accept a free dinner. I've had female coworkers go out with me, but of course that was a minefield. Hard for people here to believe :) but women who know me, feel comfortable with me (maybe that's b/c I don't push the sex) and so going out isn't the problem per se. I've had women who were sleeping with other men, go out with me for an evening (And usually b/c the guy isn't doing the "bf routine" of taking her out), even married women have spent time with me b/c their husbands are busy. If dating is dinner, or going to outdoor concerts in the park or binge-watching BBC together, then I have dated a bit. But the intimacy is merely platonic. to me, a date is something I would never do with a dude.

I have tried the policy of positive thinking, that if I focus on the details of the date, then I will get the date. But I focus on success b/c it happens so rarely--my dry spells are measured in half decades, not months. I see two people together, I assume they aren't a couple b/c of how much time I spend with women and there was nothing going on. And then people laugh b/c...oh yeah, I know them, they are having sex, duh, why are you so Pollyana? :)

there is a lot of work to be invested in dating. I give credit to those willing to do it. If I could meet women who were attractive (not beautiful, just someone who can give me something to hang a condom on, to put it bluntly), not batshit crazy, not full of drama that makes me pull out hair I don't have to pull out, not make me constantly question WTF is she doing, someone who isn't approaching bankruptcy, someone who isn't selfish and doesn't make me do all the work (when I date out of my league, I tend to give more backrubs just b/c i'd want to touch her more than she wants to touch me), then yes...i'd be more interested in dating.

Living alone, life seems to be full. Go out into a crowd and see the couples, well, yeah, then I realize i'm "missing something". But like anything else in life, I feel that the first thing to do when in a hole is to stop digging the hole. or to put another way, if something isn't working...best to stop and figure out why, not keep doing what doesn't work. For $25 I can park at the beach and see a bevy of beauties in bathing suits or for the same $25 I can take a female to dinner and hope she isn't an idiot with her money or her love life or spend the date making love to her cellphone or anything else people here complain about.

For $25...i'd like to get something good for my money, not buy disappointment :) But I give props to all of you who are willing to keep trying. maybe I give up too soon, and as everyone says, "love will find you when you aren't looking"..tho that hasn't worked either :) lol
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/18/2017 11:47:27 AM

I have nooo idea where there are any dance clubs, in this area, for at least 50 miles.

Oh, it's about half that distance from you to South Bend -- and Benton Harbor's not too far away from you, although that area may not be your cup of tea. I know about 20+ minutes directly south of Kalamazoo there's a Yuge country bar seemingly out in the middle of nowhere -- which is a dance club... although they just do the same dance over and over and over and over again in unison. Which always creeps me out (zombies?!). But lotsa cute gals at country dance bars (I just pretend to like it).

Dance clubs seem to be mostly for the college aged crowd.

Sure, you're guaranteed to find them in college areas (like South Bend, IN or Kalamazoo, MI). But all a dance club is, is a place where there's decent square footage for dancing and people go there to dance. They're not all the same at all. There's ones that are basically set for mainly the college-to-late-20s crowd, and many others where the tone's set for people of any age who go out to the bars. And most aren't purely dance floors at all -- but just have one with a DJ or a local band, where most of the square footage in the place is, well, a bar.

around here, a dance club that caters to the over 30 crowd is labeled, "a restaurant with a dance floor" :)

Yeah, I can see that not being labeled a dance club, it just being a restaurant. A club club is one that has a certain "elite" motif -- but in general, the term "dance club" applies to any Bar that has a dance floor that gets populated. Although, some restaurants are really restaurant bars, and at night on the weekends pretty much go full-on bar and crank out a dance floor, etc.

've had a lot of female friends in life who will accept a free dinner. I've had female coworkers go out with me, but of course that was a minefield. Hard for people here to believe :) ........... But the intimacy is merely platonic.

Yeah, but those aren't Dates. That's friend-zone outings. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's good Practice when not out in the dating landscape and wanting to get some practice swings in by going thru the motions, etc. in 1-on-1 outings when in the friend-zone. But at some point, one should want to shift gears. But as you point out, that's not easy, when out of the game for many years...

Living alone, life seems to be full. Go out into a crowd and see the couples, well, yeah, then I realize i'm "missing something". But like anything else in life, I feel that the first thing to do when in a hole is to stop digging the hole. or to put another way, if something isn't working...best to stop and figure out why, not keep doing what doesn't work.

Or to basically take a step back and remind oneself: "If I'm cozy in my comfort zone, that's NOT a good thing. I need to go against the grain of my comfort zone when it comes to gals and what I do and what I aim to do." As you point out, it's not easy. But if someone aims for gals roughly in their league, aims AWAY from the friend-zone (again, your comfort zone is Not your compass!), and is willing to face potential rejection -- once you get a base hit or more, you realize that striking out and flying out a handful of times before that is not that bad at all. After all, who says you need to go for a batting title?
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 75
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/18/2017 3:15:39 PM
Gomustang I would suggest you go dutch with your 25 dollars, then you will be able to see a movie and get refreshments and as it is dutch no expectations- it would just be what it is, and you can enjoy your female friends and their company, and maybe the ones you find unattractive, will grow on your person so to speak- so as to hold a condom, maybe they will even give you the back rub..lol...
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating sure has changed , shallow women