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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 101
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women Page 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

I cannot change what people want to have sex with.



Sure you can. Say a gal wants to have sex with you. Getting all giddy, you go to your front door, turn around, and tell her "I have hostages. I've had them tied up for weeks. I torture them and sexually harm them. They're going to join in. And you're going to join THEM! Muhahahaha!" Yeah, you just changed her mind. ;)

Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it, I’ve been fighting with the IRS today.

But back to your post: I have known women who would be turned on by that kind of behavior, you have to remember there really are some weird, kinky people out there!
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 102
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 3:12:44 PM
Is your Sybian still up for sale?

I know a lonely heffer that could use it
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 103
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 3:57:12 PM
"Again, we're talking about the initial Intro phase -- before even getting a phone #."

>>>not to get logical, but why would a woman give her phone number to someone she feels no romance for? Does she need a new friend? If she's good looking, she already has a lot of male friends, unless she's scared them off :) Even salesmen hand out a business card for a reason. They want anyone with a wallet. But I don't know a human who is attractive in some way, just handing out their number to someone they didn't already know they want something from.

"NO, you don't inject Romance into it. It's about banter, flirting, generating or riding on chemistry"

>>yeah, that's what romance is :) flirting, chemistry, etc. Or at least that's what I mean by romancing a lass. she isn't interested in flirting with a guy she has no chemistry with...unless she's desperate for attention, and that gets us back to flirting that stops once I try to get a phone number. I will say, I don't believe roses on a first date is romantic, its instead an attempt. "I spent money on a gift, please like me!" That's the message I think flowers on a first date sends, which is why I never did it. To me, first dates are, "hey, you have a nice physical appearance, lets make sure your personality doesn't suck".

I agree, pouring out too many compliments (I don't do poems) also shouts TRY HARD. Actually, come to think about it, I learned as a kid when I flirted not to do it, b/c even to my ears it also shouted BROWN NOSE. I only flirted if there was an opportunity in the convo to do so, I didn't force it into the conversation. I also subconsciously learned the benefit of a tease (no, not a sexual tease, some might call it a neg but I don't prefer the word and it actually means something else). Two days ago I was at the dentist and the hygienist was a knuckle cracker, so of course I teased her about it. When she dropped a tool on the floor and exclaimed "sugar!" I said that was ironic for a dentist to say. Gentle teasing, like we do a close friend, can quickly build bonds, but only with women who want that interaction. Everyone else, it falls flat, and its not just that they lack a sense of humor.

the fact is, we meet hundreds of people a day. We don't have time to interact with all of them. So we focus on the ones who, well...offer something we want. That sounds self centered, but the reality is, unless we have all the time in the world...we do it as well.

"Yeah, you just changed her mind. ;)"

>>>true, in that scenario, I dropped the advantage that she gave me. But she's still going to check that i'm not kidding :) and how many of us still try to put ourselves into a situation to get away with a temptation we want and know it will have a cost...but we'll still come here and ask strangers how we can get away with it, other than our rationalization that we're going to be different from all the other people they cheated on? :)

You're right, interaction should be balanced. And some disinterest goes a long way, too :) I meet someone, I look for a shared interest, and if not found, I won't flirt with them. There is a chance that someplace down the road, they may find an interest in me, but that's going to be what's going on in their head, which may likely be, "can't find anyone else, but hey, this person is good for now" :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 104
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 4:19:27 PM
.....................You had me at "Hello".......................
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 105
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 4:25:21 PM
I lost her at......RENT
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 106
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 5:01:21 PM

not to get logical, but why would a woman give her phone number to someone she feels no romance for?

Because romance does not = sexual attraction. Romance is a certain motif. Having feelings of romance is deeper, different.

yeah, that's what romance is :) flirting, chemistry, etc.

No, it's not. Romance doesn't mean attraction, and something romantic does not simply mean expressing sexual attraction. A girl tells her friends how she met me and what happened: She meets me at a bar, and I buy her a shot. I flirt with her, she flirts back. We banter. I tell her she's hot and I want to take her home. She loves it, we kiss. We leave. I pork her brains out. I end up calling her to meet up sometimes for drinks late at night and to go back to my place to pork.

Does her friends say: "Wow! How romantic!" -- and mean it, or is it said with Sarcasm? :) No. It's not taking her out to an Italian restaurant and giving her flowers and saying romantic things. Going the romantic route is a method, a separate one, to be applied at the right time. It's a different form of more-than-platonic -- not just merely more-than-platonic. Some guys don't understand this and are Romantic to a girl they like pulling that stuff, because they just hear women want romance. They get frustrated because they don't understand that no, they don't want to be engulfed in romance prior to developing any real chemistry and going out.

she isn't interested in flirting with a guy she has no chemistry with

She's interesting in flirting with a guy she has attraction to and is in the mood to... to get a feel for chemistry. If he starts trying to be Romantic to her off the bat in doing so, it'll scare Many girls, and chemistry will die or fail to truly form.

To me, first dates are, "hey, you have a nice physical appearance, lets make sure your personality doesn't suck".

Yeah, along with a -- you seem cool (or more). Yep. That's not = Romance. That's = Interest (at least mild interest).

"I spent money on a gift, please like me!" That's the message I think flowers on a first date sends

That's injecting actual Romance into it-- coming on too strong. Girls generally get turned off by guys who come on too strong with their feelings. Injecting Actual Romance into the mix during the initial phase of going out, with someone you didn't know prior, is too much usually. At most, you take her to eat a place that may have a romantic feel to it. But even then, you want to question whether that's "too much", depending on the situation between you too off the bat. In doing so, you don't want to set the whole tone with you being romantic about her (flowers, words of romance to her defining everything, etc).

Two days ago I was at the dentist and the hygienist was a knuckle cracker, so of course I teased her about it. When she dropped a tool on the floor and exclaimed "sugar!" I said that was ironic for a dentist to say. Gentle teasing, like we do a close friend, can quickly build bonds, but only with women who want that interaction.

Yeah, that's bantering. Not flirting, but depending on how things roll, you could then get To flirting at the right time at some point.

can quickly build bonds, but only with women who want that interaction. Everyone else, it falls flat, and its not just that they lack a sense of humor.

It can still continue and give you the wrong idea ("Oh. She's not interested. Hmmm, she carried on, thought she very well could be..."), but yes, most gals keep a distance at bantering/bonding with a guy too much they're not interested in.

true, in that scenario, I dropped the advantage that she gave me. But she's still going to check that i'm not kidding :)

Yeah, fine. Whip a knife out of your pocket when doing so. She won't. :) Point is, yes, you can change someone's desire for sex. Obviously easier in the negative direction. But you can change her from wishy-washy to OK, though. That's where most "game" is -- where a gal is on the fence, but you Avoid The Friend Zone in how you open up with her, and how you follow-thru, while also having her more often go on the "OK, I'll do it" side. :)

I meet someone, I look for a shared interest, and if not found, I won't flirt with them.

Well, you can still mildly flirt if the interest is up in the air, which many times it is. And if that doesn't distance anything, you play with it again, etc. Harmlessly to see if you can get a bite. If you do, you ante up... if not, you punt. I think it's about potential interest with the gal. You want to read with a High % chance that she's not interested or wouldn't be, before punting the ball.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 107
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 8:21:15 PM
Alright, so we'll go along with the idea of romance as a verb, is an expression of love:

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/romance

and that would be way too much when we initially meet a stranger. Probably why I am not as romantic :) I don't concoct in my head a backstory about how cool a stranger is and what their social status is, as some do.

"A girl tells her friends how she met me and what happened: She meets me at a bar, and I buy her a shot. I flirt with her, she flirts back. We banter. I tell her she's hot and I want to take her home. She loves it, we kiss. We leave. I pork her brains out. I end up calling her to meet up sometimes for drinks late at night and to go back to my place to pork."

>>>funny, that's how a guy would describe it. He talks about what happened. And expects the audience to know how it feels.

"Whip a knife out of your pocket when doing so. She won't. :) "

>>>how many women write to Charles Manson in prison again? :)

"Point is, yes, you can change someone's desire for sex."

>>>I'd LOVE to see that trick on a sober woman getting a visit from Aunt Flo! I'd say, find a way to bottle it and make millions from old men wanting women half their age, but I think they do...Spanish fly :) But ladies reading this, what say you? How many times in life has an unattractive man gotten you naked? OK, besides your doctor.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 108
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 9/26/2017 11:51:53 PM
Romance has no place whatsoever in the initial pursuit of a woman. She will interpret it as "feelings", get spooked, then label it "creepy".

Not to mention, I don't throw "romance" around like Mardi Gras beads after seeing a woman a few times, myself. Developing feelings is a looooong process for me.
 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 109
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/3/2017 6:41:22 PM
I blame TV reality shows.
Where gorgeous tanned muscular men are there spoiling women.
Handing out expensive gifts and meals.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 110
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/3/2017 7:49:45 PM
^^^^ Who has time to watch those silly, scripted reality TV shows, anyway?

Some people need to get up off the couch and get out of the house more often---even if they have no date lined up for the evening. At least go to the gym and work out, or something.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 111
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/4/2017 6:11:11 AM
On one hand, TV shows are designed to titillate, b/c that attracts people and allows for higher ad prices. On the flip side, a TV show has to have some semblance of believability, otherwise few people could relate and would then lose interest in something that makes zero sense. There is, of course, a wide range between these two poles. For example, a Jerry Springer staple, it seems, is the person who slept with a family member of their partner. If the first person was attracted to their partner's looks and belief systems, then it seems believable a family member of that partner shares genes and upbringing, and are present in the life of the couple, so it has a hint of believability. If Jerry Springer was about people who slept with aliens on the other hand...they couldn't sell personal injury lawyer ads to save their lives.

I do recommend as well, getting off the couch and getting out and enjoying life. I used to go out often to events, and would return to work the next day to talk about them. So much so a coworker I had been interested in, complained her bf only took her to bars, and my boss at the time marveled, "don't you ever listen to GTO? He's out doing things almost every night!" But to her, it wasn't interesting unless she was getting drunk, which is what her bf accomplished for her and that's one of the reasons she was attracted to him. I learned one of the reasons she was so favorable to my flirting yet so disinterested in a date.

go out while you're still young, b/c in a few years...you'll be even less interested in the tiny effort it takes :) Bodies at rest tend to stay at rest.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 112
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/4/2017 7:59:01 AM

For example, a Jerry Springer staple, it seems, is the person who slept with a family member of their partner. If the first person was attracted to their partner's looks and belief systems, then it seems believable a family member of that partner shares genes and upbringing, and are present in the life of the couple, so it has a hint of believability.


In these talk-show trailer park scenarios, I kept questioning WHY so many people messed with in-laws or people at the local bar instead of driving to a bar across down to keep it secret...?

I believe that CONVENIENCE often overrides many other considerations, such as money, attractiveness, marital status, hobbies, etc. This is also why office romances are a thing. It's easy to learn some details about people you see every day, or every week. You talk directly with them or overhear stuff, or get told rumors - there's a pile of info to make a decision. Mary Jane is plain, but not objectionable, her history is common, not noteworthy, your enthusiam for her is "meh". So what happens? It takes minimal effort to contact her or even step into the supply closet for 5 minutes to adjust your shorts. Same for in-laws that visit frequently, or people you see every week at the bar. 5 minutes to slip into an empty bedroom, the back seat of a car, behind a dumpster, the tool shed, the empty office on 3rd floor, whatever...

Convenience turns "meh" into "Let's do it." Also because others see you in the same space frequently, it's not odd to see you talking or walking together. "we got a snack at the food truck", "went to get cigarettes", in-law wanted to "borrow some tools in the shed". So easy to slip away and back without too much effort or fuss. The frequency of being in the same place can eliminate the need for setting any "dates". All they need is 5 minutes alone.

If those people had to work hard like write profiles and set specific dates, ask 50 questions, and pay for coffee (sheesh!) - it wouldn't happen. So...I consider much of those hook-ups to be less "attraction" and more "convenience".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 113
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/4/2017 9:11:13 AM

gtomustang
I do recommend as well, getting off the couch and getting out and enjoying life.

Some good advice, from halcyon_skies and gtomustang.


go out while you're still young, b/c in a few years...you'll be even less interested in the tiny effort it takes :) Bodies at rest tend to stay at rest.

I know a lot of older people, people of my generation, who are quite active. It’s like the old Nike commercial, “Just do it”.

aintnodeal
I believe that CONVENIENCE often overrides many other considerations, such as money, attractiveness, marital status, hobbies, etc. This is also why office romances are a thing.

Convenience turns "meh" into "Let's do it."

Now this, “It’s convenient, so why not?” is something that I no longer encounter. Certainly, when I was younger, yes, not unusual at all. These days, not so much.


If those people had to work hard like write profiles and set specific dates, ask 50 questions, and pay for coffee (sheesh!) - it wouldn't happen. So...I consider much of those hook-ups to be less "attraction" and more "convenience".

Thanks for the laugh!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 114
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/5/2017 6:33:13 AM
Convenience can make a relationship, when someone is alone and isn't too picky. The relationship may last as long as the need does. I think that office relationships may also occur b/c you get to see some of that person's personality, due to the workplace creating opertunities a date wouldn't. How do they handle stress. How their humanity slips out in a workplace that tries to keep things businesslike. Their ability to work hard, play hard. We may not think personality matters when we're just trying to "adjust our shorts" (I like that), but if we want someone who isn't "dead in bed", we might be more interested in the person who is the go-getter at work, or maybe who mimics our style and approach. We may do this search subconsciously. The secretary with the pretty face and loose clothing to hide her sexy figure, may not turn us on as much as the flirty secretary who dresses DTF and gives us the idea she would be into a quickie in the copier supply closet.

Our sister-in-law Mary Jane may look plainer than our wife, but she didn't have kids and after 15 years of marriage, perhaps the potential for a "safety meeting" that involves MJ but not "maryjane" tickles our mind. Unfortunately for some husbands, they stop courting their wives thinking they already "bought the cow" once. The flame of romance goes out b/c they don't date their wife, sex becomes an act (or marital duty) rather than an expression of feelings or emotion or even interest in the other person, and well, gosh, there's Mary Jane and she seems to have some interest....
 introvertedkinkster
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 115
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/29/2017 8:36:19 PM
Today's women are disgustingly shallow. Many seem more interested in obsessively looking for a reason to reject men rather than appreciating the good in men. If a guy sneezes on a date even, some women would find that as a reason to reject his .....

In today's dating market, men are undervalued while women are overvalued.

Even a fat unemployed woman living with her parents would be more valued than the average male. If you want to talk about gender privileges look no further when it comes to dating. Women have lots of it.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 116
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/29/2017 9:06:42 PM


women are overvalued.


I do agree with this, however, the dumb ass men who excessively fawn over them like they've never seen a woman naked in person before are to blame. The women I have on my Facebook have the same pack of jack offs showering them with the same lovesick puppy dog shit every time they post a picture. It's both hilarious and pathetic to witness. Years of doing that shit, and it's never resulted in these women putting out for them.

The women get an ego boost and the poor schmucks get endless weekends of jerking it to xhamster.

As for "shallow", you're on your own there, bud. It takes more than being "good" to be attractive in someone else's eyes. I've said it before, I'll say it again - attraction doesn't give a shit about "deserves".
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 117
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/29/2017 11:08:42 PM

Even a fat unemployed woman living with her parents would be more valued than the average male. If you want to talk about gender privileges look no further when it comes to dating. Women have lots of it.


Where to begin?

Gender equality has absolutely nothing to do with a male's entitlement or his value to a female.

An "even a fat, unemployed, woman living with her parents" can carry healthy children. She is a production factory. Some factories are ugly, they smell and belch, but they still crank out excellent product. Women are not trophies, this is not what equality is about, it is just a fringe benefit of the successful man to flaunt his resources and perhaps attract even more women. If a woman needs a man to take care of her children, that man has value. If she has alternatives, such as social assistance programs, a safe and civil society, superior intellect with job opportunities and childcare, artificial insemination of desirable stock, the average man's value is progressively diminished - he is not necessary. They can "want" the emotional connection but not "need" the traditional arrangement.

"Gender privilege". What is this fantasy construct? Some rule that says, all men are entitled to one woman each? Who's dealing women out? In nature, the male learns to compete in the jungle. The sexy cardinal is vivid crimson, the suave peacock a brilliant kaleidoscope of blue through green, the royal lion a marvel of hair and strength, the wild boar, fierce tusks longer than his rival, washboard shoulders more padded and a with head with a crest .... And as long as bigger and better male is there, the weenie male gets a crumb if he can learns to operate under the radar and is allowed to survive, but more likely becomes somebody else's dinner and is eliminated.

In Araby, a man could take as many wives as he could provide for, sultans taking dozens or hundreds ... today, four is still fine. A little math will tell you, if one man has four, three men statistically have none... we can imagine what it meant in olden times when every girl wanted to be in the king's harem, and men were content to become eunuchs happily for a lifetime. Or expendable warriors, to have a chance to prove their worth in glorious combat, to return proven perhaps and taking a woman. Or man servants, their place in the pecking order to serve but not disturb. Or sexual servantmen to other men, if they could learn the trade.

So, men actually have it pretty easy nowadays. The average male has a good shot at that that "fat, unemployed woman living with her mother". That wimp maybe is the same guy that is afraid to go into the delivery room and see all the blood as that same fat woman, who lives with her mother learns the pain of having a child split her insides as she does her job. Or the one who is afraid to get his jaw broken by another bigger man that accosts his woman, when that is his job to protect her.

Sugar coat it how you like, but average is not an automatic entitlement. If the birds aren't enough, look at the bees. In a decent hive of 50,000 bees, there is one queen who may be mother to them all, and she get up to 20 male drones that copulate until they drop, and aren't even allowed or able to feed themselves. Ten times that amount of males are allowed to die. And the thousands of girl bees do all the chores, from scouting and collecting nectar, to building honeycombs and tending to the queen.

Gender equality has absolutely nothing to do with a male's entitlement or his value to a female.
9
 introvertedkinkster
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 118
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 2:01:10 AM
ThePigOfYourDreams


I do agree with this, however, the dumb ass men who excessively fawn over them like they've never seen a woman naked in person before are to blame. The women I have on my Facebook have the same pack of jack offs showering them with the same lovesick puppy dog shit every time they post a picture. It's both hilarious and pathetic to witness. Years of doing that shit, and it's never resulted in these women putting out for them.


That is a little exaggerated but I see your point. However, men and women are to blame. What women do reflect on what actions men may take. What men do reflect on what actions women may take. Men are to blame because they are too open minded. Women are to blame because they are too closed minded. Innate women's differences are to blame for why things go wrong. Innate men's differences are to blame for why things go wrong.

One of the issues I have with political correctness is that men and only men are mostly blamed for everything.

Anyway, when you think about it, a woman is judged far more leniently or not judged at all compared to men if she lives with her parents, has no job, has no car. The same applies for being fat. There is appreciation for BBWs everywhere. They even have beauty pageants for BBWs. No such appreciation to such an extent exist for fat men. Therefore, despite the myth that women get judged more on obesity, when you open your eyes, you see the complete opposite. Do a google search on BBW and see how many results you get.

9Pluto


Gender equality has absolutely nothing to do with a male's entitlement or his value to a female.


It absolutely does when one gender is less valued compared to the other. For example, you would be singing a whole different tune about women being less valued compared to men in the workplace. You can't have it both ways.

I never implied that women are trophies. You are obfuscating my points. It is about equality when judging both genders in the same situation in comparison. What I consider as real genuine equality is a male getting judged the exact same as a female who is unemployed and lives with their parents. It's not even close to equality if you are more accepting towards one gender doing it over the other which makes one gender more valued over the other in the same circumstances.

Not that I'm unemployed and live with my parents. I'm just simply pointing out the value system.

I don't expect women to be easy and just take on any bloke. I can predict that accusation coming as it's always used whenever a male questions how women behave in dating to shut down his argument.

Speaking of entitlement, don't you think that it's a far bigger sense of entitlement for the regular woman to think she deserves only the top 5% of the male demographic on POF and nothing less compared to a male thinking he deserves the average next door woman? Society doesn't shame women for having that far bigger sense of entitlement but society certainly shames men for thinking they are entitled to the average next door woman which is having a far less sense of entitlement. If the regular guy did only want the top 5% of women on POF (or was just as picky as the regular woman) he would be laughed at and ridiculed. On the other hand, society encourages women to have huge senses of entitlement.

Many women on here need to look in the mirror, take a long hard think about themselves. Are they offering any trait, anything special, that most or all other women don't have? If not, why are they only expecting a male who is offering something special and have these unique traits that most guys don't have?

The majority of women on this site are no one special. They blend in with most other women. Yet, many to most women on here won't settle for a guy who isn't better than most of the male demographic. This is why you see the same women here day in and day out while receiving 100s of emails. Society socially conditions women to be this way. The next female profile I stumble across on here, she would most probably be no one more interesting than the next woman I walk past on the street. Many women seem to think being a female fills that gap when it comes to feeling entitled to the elusive type of guy you see in romance novels.

The fact of the matter, when it comes to the dating market, women are socially conditioned to believe their worth as a woman is more than the worth of a man. It's a normalised form of chauvinism. When society values one gender over the other, the most valued gender is privileged. That is what privilege is.

That's why on average women get 100s of emails and reject all them men while the majority of men are considered lucky to have at least one decent woman interested at any given time.

A man is constantly expected to prove his worth while women feel they don't have to put in that effort as society makes them feel that being a female fills that gap. For example, a male is expected to have an extra interesting profile compared to most men. A male is expected to make extra interesting emails compared to most men. A male is expected to show above average intelligence. A male is expected to be the one that makes most to all the interesting conversations. A male is expected to be the one that makes the first move as for initiating contact in most cases. A male is expected to pay for dates in many cases.

Most female profiles on here are so cliche and yet they reject men for being cliche. In all the years I've been on dating sites, the vast majority of the time when a woman approached me, it's a simple "hi how are you"...yet many of these same women would reject men for doing the exact same thing. Society accepts that hypocrisy.

Men get ridiculed if they refuse to initiate contact and wait for women to come to them. Women are not ridiculed if they refuse to initiate contact and wait for men to come to them. Men get ridiculed if they expect women to pay for their meals on dates. Women are not ridiculed if they expect men to pay for their meals on dates.

Society encourages this and it's socially acceptable to have these double standards. This is what privilege is. It's far from being a fantasy construct.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 119
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 5:25:11 AM
WOW- women are shallow???? my only value is producing offspring and being female--hmmph? ^^^so many beliefs and assumptions about the whole of society based on personal limited views.
 introvertedkinkster
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 120
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 6:39:49 AM
An interesting article in regards of dating and equality.

https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4534518/amp/Bisexual-man-says-society-isn-t-ready-gender-equality.html

Many women out there only want equality when it suits them. They would be passionate about equality when it comes to equal pay in the workplace but all the sudden not be interested in equality when it comes to dating.

Such as life lol.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 121
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 9:15:16 AM

my only value is producing offspring and being female--hmmph?


Hmmph! "denying the antecedent":

If you read it, then it is true.
You didn't read it.
Therefore it is not true.


9
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 122
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 11:21:56 AM
Thanks for the carefully thought out reply kinkster. Of course I see your point of view. Society is just an open air market of mixed opinions, and in itself, does not constitute approval or lack of it. That is at the individual level. I took a moment to read your linked daily mail article, and found it more comical than serious. I wonder who that 26 year old imagines himself to be: King Alexander the Great? It is amazing how easily a man may find his inner alpha when he is hot and swimming in conquests.

It is typically just a person or few that determine this tenuous balance of rain and desert. There are many women that want to share in the burdens of dating, and there are many that do not. But most fall somewhere in between, and I hardly can blame them for not conforming to some idealized narrative pushed upon society in which genders are blindly equal ... because I do not believe that is true in courtship and mating. Everyone is just trying to do their best with the tools they've got. It really is a big jungle out there.

It is not my fault some women may bond like bonobos in the workplace, and courtship and mating expectations spill over into it facilitated by men as well; that women can be perceived to create or participate in gender inequity there. You are exactly right that if a woman became my rival and and introduced courtship and mating favoritism customs there, I would not stand for it. Unless, I had my own designs on her. Priorities ;-)

You disapproved of my interpretation of your post when I alluded to women of higher value being trophies of sorts that feed a man's own self, contrasted with the ones you described as below average, as fat, jobless and living with their mothers. I'll give in that "trophy" is a loaded term and it was poor choice on my part. I should have just called them women with something extra (not that fat, living with mother, and jobless is always below average, either), to invite that extra to be beyond their relative physical desirability relative to their peer baseline, and to include their wit, disposition, and potential for commitment and loyalty, etc.
Cheers
9
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 123
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 12:29:17 PM

In today's dating market, men are undervalued while women are overvalued.

It's not over-valued, though. It's market Imbalance in most arenas where people are out with their foot forward in the dating circuit. It's common sense. Good luck walking into a random bar and finding more Single women than single guys. You can find them once in a while -- but it's Very Common the opposite way around. On POF in the active age range on here, it's a 2.5 : 1 ratio of guys-to-girls. It'd be Weirder if they had the same value, in most circles.

Our culture helps perpetuate this, though. Gals don't have to put their foot forward out there as much as guys do, hence, you don't see them quite as much in active dating arenas, hence, tougher for guys in said environments. Why? Culturally, guys approach gals & make the first moves. The gals don't have to leave the workplace, bookstore, coffee shop, and "get out there" as much. Much comes to them.

Even a fat unemployed woman living with her parents would be more valued than the average male. If you want to talk about gender privileges look no further when it comes to dating. Women have lots of it.

That's a clear exaggeration, and actually untrue. Gals can live at home more easily than guys can. But if she's always unemployed living at home, over 25? Doesn't work that way. It can be more-okay due to culture if a 27 year old gal is living at home, her mom's old, and she's a teacher VS a guy doing the same thing, because the guy culturally is to show he can be a provider. But our culture has at least matured where the gal can't sit on mom's couch eating Doritos all day not being able to hold down a $9/hr job. She's going to be Less wanted than the average guy, especially if she's Fat. Guys actually have more leniency on body structure than gals. :)

I do agree with this, however, the dumb ass men who excessively fawn over them like they've never seen a woman naked in person before are to blame.

Yes -- it's that, and also what I call the "dad / daughter" effect. We're raised that they're sensitive precious things -- don't you dare touch my daughter, you creep. Why? Because I know what I was thinking when I was your age in your teens! Back off! Don't you dare take her to Make-Out Point! :)

The women get an ego boost and the poor schmucks get endless weekends of jerking it to xhamster.

Online -- definitely, and in most bar/social nightlife arenas. With the internet, it's easier for a guy to "approach" a gal, but it takes many many failures and such to meet one -- where xhamster is just a click and a rub away!

I've said it before, I'll say it again - attraction doesn't give a shit about "deserves".

Exactly. Deserving's got nothing to do with it. Doesn't come into play in the dating market.

Anyway, when you think about it, a woman is judged far more leniently or not judged at all compared to men if she lives with her parents, has no job, has no car.

Of all 3? If she's Hot, she can get away with it, but won't be living with her parents for long (but then dumped after the hot effect wears off, and back to maw & paws). But all of those -- the average Jane in looks isn't going to go very far in the dating market. Sure, she can get laid -- but as far as going steady with any guy? He's going to be pretty low on the dating totem pole, too. A gal has more leeway, but she's Not very high up, otherwise she wouldn't be such a loser. She's not formally or informally staying over at Average Adam's place.

The same applies for being fat. There is appreciation for BBWs everywhere.

I disagree. If we're going by cultural generalities, guys have more leeway on body structure than gals. A gal can get away with not having a car much more than a guy, but her looks can make up for it (or if she's in average range, a heightened putting-out effect will do the same). A "big & tall" guy can get more than a "big & tall" aka BBW gal.

Yet, many to most women on here won't settle for a guy who isn't better than most of the male demographic. This is why you see the same women here day in and day out while receiving 100s of emails.

Again, it's 2.5 : 1 ratio. And culturally gals are more sensitive to even potentially cultural/social eyebrow-raising situations. Gals get bombarded on here, and yes, it can be just for an ego-boost -- but you have to understand, it's what Should happen given cultural/social trends. It's what we'd expect. Within the market in one's area on POF, the average Jane is Of Course only going to "settle" for an above-average John. It's how Men would be if the roles were reversed. :)

The problem is the gals who are Too High on it.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 124
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Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/30/2017 8:12:20 PM

endless weekends of jerking it to xhamster


Thank the gods for the Internet!!!!! ...or thank horny geeks...or thank slut peddlers who knew a good delivery system when they saw it.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 125
Dating sure has changed , shallow women
Posted: 10/31/2017 6:25:30 AM
plunko- did read, did contain a plethora of assumptions-preconceived ideas and notions-personal bias-stereotypes... (etc)- so have happy.
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