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 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 51
Decoding A Profile - HonestyPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I noticed a lot of men put that they are single and not divorced, but then you see they have children so they just chose not to put divorced.


Actually some of us where smart enough not to get married andddddddddd still get a kid out the whole deal.

Something about having cake and eating it to.

Maybe you would be surprised how many times this has happen in the last 20 or so years????????

And not just the man's decision/choice either.
 grapeshotz
Joined: 9/11/2017
Msg: 52
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 6:55:45 AM
While it's true there are a lotta single fathers out there, it's also true that a lotta guys put single rather than divorced. I know this to be a fact, as I have seen many users on here that I know IRL...including my ex husband, who messaged me on here and himself listed as "single." 😝
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 53
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 7:56:16 AM
If a person has been divorced "forever" it is not uncommon to describe themselves as single if not a legal matter..
I know men and women alike who have been divorced for thirty years or more...they can identify however they wish.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 54
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 8:07:58 AM

Cool. I didn't have to look up any of pig's "open-minded" suggestions.


Gads, I had to look up a few.
*puts eyemuffs on*

I think I consider myself single...but I think I have divorced on my profile.
I've been divorced 17 years now...and I LIKE it.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 55
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 8:40:32 AM
^^^16.5 years divorced myself and no complaints. Had a couple of close calls since, but I wised up. Thanks Tom Leykis!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 56
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 1:05:36 PM
Pig, thanks for that comprehensive list, but you left out fisting. You're such a prude 😈

I used to ask men if they divorced when I saw they had kids, but then I stopped asking once I saw they just choose not to answer honestly. You're given a choice and two of them are divorced or single, so I would think a person would choose what's true about them and not what they want to just say they are that's not really true going by the options. It does make me wonder if it's something about them being crappy in their marriage and they feel they would be self-identifying for that if they wrote divorced.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 57
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 2:50:53 PM

Pig, thanks for that comprehensive list, but you left out fisting. You're such a prude 😈


I didn't feel a need to include common first date rituals.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 58
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 3:17:09 PM
but, if you fist on a first date...does that make you LTR material?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 59
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/15/2017 8:44:15 PM
Jellybean, I asked a lot of men if they were divorced, because I saw they had children and they all said that they are divorced, so that would mean they are lying on their profiles. There is a difference between a man that has been a lifetime Bachelor and someone who has been divorced. When I look at a profile, I want to know which one it is.

Mustang, I think it depends on the man, but I think every woman would say, don't you just hate it when a man fists and runs, LOL. That makes humping and dumping sound better☺
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 6:08:49 AM
With these profile thingys, we are all given only a certain amount of "options" on how WE, as an individuals can describe themselves. That is what profiles are for.

Is a divorced person "single"?

Can a single person also be divorced?

What is "average" body type?????

What is an "occasional" smoker??????

What is a "drug" defined as?????
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 61
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 6:09:46 AM
^ I've had one or two conversations where women have said just that. Yes, they were married and then divorced, but now they class themselves as single and 'baggage free', and therefore fancy free and ready to party. Status can be very subjective. I was in a LTR relationship with my ex wife for ten years and had had children before we got married. If we hadn't married, my status would have reverted to single after we split, I suppose, even though the relational difference would have been very slim.

Better to look at things on a case by case basis. These are people we're discussing, after all.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 62
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 8:45:01 AM
I agree with Walts and others.
FORMS are just that, forms, fill in the blanks, circle T or F.
I haven't seen a paper form yet that I didn't have to ad-lib, write outside the box / color outside the lines.
Can't do that with a keyboard / keypad.

An "on paper" person maybe be married, but not a spouse in sight.
A "no paper" person may be divorced, never married, and yet the ex is visible every day, the children run their life, or they are "married" to their job.

A "fill -in the blanks", form, for an OLD site, is only as good as.............. the monkey pushing the keys, can manage.

Meet..............meet...............meet..................ask questions....................and listen. Keeper? Yes / no, move on. Next!
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 63
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 10:48:54 AM

Meet..............meet...............meet..................ask questions....................and listen. Keeper? Yes / no, move on. Next!


Exactly. Putting too much stock into some font and pixels is setting oneself up for failure.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 64
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 3:40:55 PM
I've seen many a selfie of men that looked horrendous, and I do attribute it to being a selfie and not getting the right angle for the photo. I went out with a guy that had the worst photo. He looked like he was in a police lineup. I never did ask him, but I think it was a work photo for ID.

What if a guy looked really good to you if he altered something about his appearance, like having to do with having a mustache or beard or for me, I don't care what the guy looks like, if he has one of those Fu Manchu or horseshoe mustaches that traipse down the sides of his mouth down to his chin, I just can't deal with that! Should someone say something or not? I know I wouldn't like anything said to me to alter my appearance. It seems a lot of men in Washington state have that Fu Manchu thing going on and it's very unattractive. When was this style of mustache in style, because I must have missed it, but it's happening in WA? I know many men that have asked their significant other to grow the hair on their head longer.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 65
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 5:00:37 PM
LOL The only thing I asked BF to change, for me?
The passenger foot pegs on his bike.
Not my responsibility to "alter" him.
Now the bike? LOL New one coming next spring!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 66
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 6:40:24 PM
Had you dated a guy with a Gold Wing, then the passenger footboards can be adjusted- by you if you like. While you're moving down the road..... :p
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 67
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 9:21:08 PM

What if a guy looked really good to you if he altered something about his appearance, like having to do with having a mustache or beard or for me, I don't care what the guy looks like, if he has one of those Fu Manchu or horseshoe mustaches that traipse down the sides of his mouth down to his chin, I just can't deal with that! Should someone say something or not? I know I wouldn't like anything said to me to alter my appearance. It seems a lot of men in Washington state have that Fu Manchu thing going on and it's very unattractive. When was this style of mustache in style, because I must have missed it, but it's happening in WA? I know many men that have asked their significant other to grow the hair on their head longer.


Are you talking about a goatee? I haven't had one of those in over 15 years. Not all of us native Washingtonians wear mustaches.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 68
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/16/2017 9:42:29 PM
Cool dog, none of these men are rocking this look, at least not to me. Too many men here have them.

https://www.google.com/search?q=horseshoe+mustache&client=tablet-android-samsung&prmd=isvn&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&fir=cjsXL7OtgF9X5M%253A%252CegyUTMDl5XTK0M%252C_%253B31TX5jxXQuV3AM%253A%252CegyUTMDl5XTK0M%252C_%253Bjq2dM_y3kol8oM%253A%252CegyUTMDl5XTK0M%252C_%253BPRGyCI0e_8H8xM%253A%252CegyUTMDl5XTK0M%252C_%253BMXimS0yo9nYs7M%253A%252CVxZyNdCHwD80mM%252C_%253BqXr0YD-7AF9j_M%253A%252CqWJZDFTQ3XR4yM%252C_%253BPwjzh1Ug_ZxlMM%253A%252COW3ywofKG0BWJM%252C_%253Bm_gS19xIwAeUYM%253A%252CF7ZKVy6LjYb_7M%252C_%253BKhcaiMPr5TcXQM%253A%252CUETEWvVd36u_6M%252C_%253BOW7VMQQCZsOPnM%253A%252CxS1kS8CV5TGFwM%252C_&usg=__5vbxqzoxagd-DYjRQnd_zaHNOaw%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwir35zDsKvWAhUHh1QKHWdACf0QsAQIJA&biw=1024&bih=600
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 69
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/17/2017 5:49:46 AM

When was this style of mustache in style, because I must have missed it, but it's happening in WA?


This may surprise some but, there are people ( both male, and female) that don't change "stuff" because of the latest and greatest "style".

Who knows what they will/will not do next!!!!!!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 70
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/17/2017 6:48:40 AM
Damn, Yorker. Why do you always post 50 mile long URLs when it's not necessary? It stretches the page out like Silly Puddy.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 71
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/19/2017 1:25:54 PM

I don't think describing yourself as single when you are divorced is telling a lie. Because divorced people are single...


POF should have "never married" instead of "single" for a martial status option. Match has "never married". That would reduce the amount of confusion.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 72
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/19/2017 1:41:12 PM
I find all of this single, divorced, never married business to be a bit silly. Whatever happened to talking to people, getting to know them, finding out if you actually like them, feel attracted to them?

It’s just another one of those filters that people are using to limit their potential matches. In the real world, you don’t eliminate a man because he’s 5’11” instead of 6’0”. And you don’t disqualify him because he’s 50 instead of 49. You meet in real life, and he’s either in the right category (roughly speaking, give or take a few years or a couple of inches), or he’s not.

But here in the OLD world, everyone seems to be looking for statistical ways to eliminate or disqualify potential dates. Which, to me, seems very silly.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 73
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/19/2017 2:44:45 PM

But here in the OLD world, everyone seems to be looking for statistical ways to eliminate or disqualify potential dates. Which, to me, seems very silly.


True. These same peeps complain that they are perpetually single and blame the sites/apps or the entire opposite gender for their own lack of ability to find a partner.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 74
Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/19/2017 2:52:10 PM

..............to be a bit silly..................seems very silly.


It is a bit daft


IT IS ! IT IS!


From passing a note to the pretty little girl with pigtails, "I like u, do u like me?"

to .................a 20 page form, 100 questions later, click here, check there, circle T or F.....................
Houston, we have a problem, we lied, we are not rocket scientists! OMG! What to do, what to do!


.............meet in real life.


My favorite question to ask every man I met was, "If you could be anywhere you wanted to be in the blink of an eye, where would you be and why?"
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 75
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Decoding A Profile - Honesty
Posted: 9/19/2017 3:04:17 PM
Pig, did little OLD me do that? ☺ I didn't realize those urls were stretching out the page; I will cease and desist. Thanks for the heads up!

I agree with you Henry that people would not tend to discriminate in person like they do online, but a person should be honest with how they fill out this simple online form. Making an excuse for why you don't list yourself as divorced is just an excuse and it is lying just the way a man may say he made his age younger to be able to contact younger women because he feels younger, LOL. I can't tell you how many times I've seen men lie about their age, never mind the other lies about height and using old pictures. I'm sure these people would like to put up a completely blank profile if they could. It's defeats the purpose of getting to know someone online and feeling comfortable if you're starting off with lies. I've read some of the bad dating stories here and while they're pretty darn funny, people have met others because of lies in the profile and just wasted their time.
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