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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day      Home login  
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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 126
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next dayPage 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Dog sitting for that many dogs is time consuming. There's feeding then, taking them out for exercise and being on poop patrol, then cleaning up after the puppies 24/7. She's probably getting paid a good amount of money for doing this, because the charge is usually per day per dog and it's not inexpensive. I would have thought that on a Saturday night after caring for them all day and getting them settled in that she would have a few hours where she would be happy to get away from them for a while and when they didn't need her. I think you have a handle on what's going on and you're watching everything, so I definitely think you will ultimately make the right decision for yourself.

It is nice that she's understanding about your getting off of meds. I have seen a few profiles where men say if you're on any kind of medication for a mental illness, I'm not interested.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 127
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/5/2017 3:56:42 PM


Remember, she did warn me a few times about how busy this week is going to be.


Yes, which would mean she wouldn't have time for lengthy *conversation* type of texting, but no time to read or respond to a simple "just wanted you to know I was thinking of you/can't wait to see you" text with a simple "thank you, you too" just before bed? Nonsense.


He could have sex with her and then move on from there. Would anything be wrong with that?


You're asking *me* if there's anything wrong with sex without relationship crap?? Bahahahaha. But in Johnny's case, he's wanting the lovey-dovey stuff, too.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 128
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/5/2017 7:12:21 PM

I asked her the other day if I'm coming off too strong, texting wise. She said I was completely fine in that area. So maybe she legit is just so packed with stuff going on.

If she is -- and that happens, I've done that -- it's usually a Delayed response. For too long, a "sorry". Depends on what was said...

Hey, just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you. I’m looking forward to our next night out”.

You didn't ask her a question -- so it doesn't warrant an immediate response. However, you wouldn't expect a no-response.

She’s busy this week with work and watching 6 just born dogs (she’s watching them when her mom is out of town) so, there might be a good reason for this.

Watching just-born puppies, and can't text even a delayed response? :)

She's legit bust, I know this. 6 baby dogs plus a full time job.

Dude, she can reply to texts. Busy doesn't cut it. :)

Just to clarify one thing, she has yet to open the message. Unread so far.

Wait, though. You said before...

She reads it, no reply. That’s what’s bugging me.

... that wasn't a typo. "She doesn't read it, no reply. That's what's bugging me." -- Yeah, she's not going to reply if she hasn't read it. :)

I get invested into people way too fast ha

I think that's why YOU TOO are confusing the Experience with the Girl. You read that she's having a great time, which is true -- being out, paid for, nice places, a guy ga-ga about her that she has some mild attraction to... fine, great. But you being so emotionally invested, having that Experience, is going to assume her position thru an overly-positive lens because the Experience is overly-positive for you. The experience is great, thus, she is great for you, etc etc. It's the emotion drawn from everything.

If she wants this to work, she's gotta put effort into it.

Dude, you'll fold again, sorry. :) Look: I'm not a fan of must-reply-to-texts-Now. I'm not picky on that. We all can be when we're ga-ga about someone, but just a dash of logic in my mind about emotions, I'm fine. She's not necessarily going to read her phone All Day. I could see her dealing with other stuff For A Day and not just "being busy", when at the End of the day, she reads it and replies. So if that's the case, don't sweat it.

But regardless of what's going on -- if it's been over 24 hours and unread -- busyness has nothing to do with it. She either broke her phone or she's going out of her way Not to read yours. People do the latter All. The. Time. Or turn off the unread/read option for that person specifically (yes, you can do that on some phones).

She legit might just be super busy, or her phone might be broke.

SUPER busy -- is not an excuse, man. Wake up. Phone broke? Yes. You may get up to 48hr delay, and if it is around that, and you have a date lined up -- a gal who cared would log onto POF to send you a message there "In case you texted me, my phone broke, my bad... I should get it back later today. It's taken longer than I thought."

Of course, you can check her Snapchat. Did she send any pics? :) If so, you got your answer right there. If not, you have no answer where it'd be. It's been over 24 hours. Chances are slimming. Only real excuse is phone busted. Otherwise, she may be willing to go out, but the "hype" of "new boy" thing died down where you're just another option and she kinda wants things to cool down. Attention gets old when you're not so into them. :)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 129
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/6/2017 7:20:29 PM
Rule # 1: If someone likes you, they find the time.

Rule #2: See Rule #1.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 130
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/7/2017 4:48:10 AM
As I said before, Johnny's biggest problem here has been trying to make this woman *like* him instead of actually attracting her. When guys try to make a woman *like* them, they turn into predictable, agreeable, spineless, ass kissing doormats. Is that really the best way to exude any sort of confidence? Hell no, but for some f*cked up reason, there are men who continually walk down this road no matter how many times it bites them in the ass.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 131
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/7/2017 5:38:02 AM
when we want something that brings us pleasure, we figure out some way to "buy" it. We don't consider what "it" may be thinking, since "it" is usually inanimate. Of course, to get inside the head of a lady and decide what she may like, means we have to stop imagining what pleasure she brings, and imagine what pleases another human being...one we may not even understand all that well. Its more natural to keep thinking, "I want" and "what will it cost, i'll pay it".
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 132
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/8/2017 4:01:06 PM
Pig, care to illuminate Johnny and myself about what men may do to make women like them vs. what to do to attract a woman to you?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 133
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/8/2017 8:10:37 PM

Yes, I would be glad to.

Do the opposite of what Johnny has done, and you will better your odds of attracting women.

Hope this helps.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 134
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/8/2017 10:25:38 PM
Zero help. Is it a secret?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 135
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/8/2017 10:26:45 PM
I think there could be another dude or several. She's riding the c*ck carousel.


I see the brick wall.


 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 136
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 4:46:28 AM


Zero help. Is it a secret?


Have you not read anything I've posted in this thread? I believe everything I've told Johnny to do qualifies as "help".


I think there could be another dude or several. She's riding the c*ck carousel.


Yes, it's foolish for any guy to simply assume he's the only dog barking up a woman's tree when he first meets her.
 Tempered_Soul
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 137
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 6:04:36 AM
Personally, when women start getting weird like that, I cut them off.
 johnnythunder1989
Joined: 11/7/2016
Msg: 138
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 6:22:19 AM
Got an update!

The reason we didn’t talk last week was that her parents’ house (where she was staying at for a few days) got broken into pretty badly. It even made the news. It was a quite scary, brutal story. However, her 7 days of lockdown with the puppies ended early because of it. So, we went out Saturday and had a great time! She even straight up said she’s been having a blast dating me. Her saying that we’re dating has calmed me down very much so. We even made plans for next weekend and beyond! She suggested things we could do on future dates, and so did I!

One thing I did learn…. Remember I told you guys that 3 years ago I ditched her on a few dates? She told me the reason she wants to take it so slow is because of that. She said she’s gotta get over that, but she said I was doing a great job helping her do so. I’ll just need some patience. I’m all in. I know most of you will say I’m like a dog, obeying orders. But, if that’s what it takes right now to win her heart, I’m all in. Her pace is my pace, and I’m happy!
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 139
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 6:39:51 AM
"Remember I told you guys that 3 years ago I ditched her on a few dates?...She said she’s gotta get over that"

You two went out on a few dates, decided she wasn't the one for you, and she's still hung up on that 3 years later? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
 johnnythunder1989
Joined: 11/7/2016
Msg: 140
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 7:04:26 AM

"Remember I told you guys that 3 years ago I ditched her on a few dates?...She said she’s gotta get over that"

You two went out on a few dates, decided she wasn't the one for you, and she's still hung up on that 3 years later? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.


Oh, no! 3 years ago we were talking, and I bailed on the 3 dates we had planned, because quite honestly I was an immature idiot!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 141
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 8:04:51 AM
[quotePig, care to illuminate Johnny and myself about what men may do to make women like them vs. what to do to attract a woman to you?

I know you directed this to Mr. Pig.
But this seems pretty simple.
I'm attracted initially by looks or actions...ie...someone is good looking and you go...OOOoOooOO or they
are interesting looking and you go OoOoOoOOooo or they do something like laugh, or their voice is attractive,
or they look at you and make you smile...there are eleventy seven thousand things someone can do that makes them
attractive to me...for a moment.

Now liking someone, sometimes they just have to open their mouths and you don't like them at all.
Sometimes you find out they're interested in something you abhor, sometimes they turn out to be indecisive or undependable,
there are a million reasons..maybe they pick their nose or scratch their personals too much.

Isn't this the same for everyone?
I'm not one to be attracted to someone who would keep bothering me after I failed to show interest.
But I suppose there are women they like being chased...which is what Johnny is doing.

I also don't like things to be complicated. I don't like people or poetry that require reading between the lines.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 142
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 8:09:15 AM

I know most of you will say I’m like a dog, obeying orders. But, if that’s what it takes right now to win her heart, I’m all in. Her pace is my pace, and I’m happy!


Wow, she's calling all the shots. It's all about her. Sure, you'll get some sex out of it and convince yourself you're "in love", but this isn't going to end well. Women eat men who endlessly cater like this for lunch. I hope one day you start valuing yourself enough to realize what YOU want matters, too, and that you have a right to question someone you feel has wronged you.

I've done all I can. Good luck. You're going to need it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 143
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 8:20:19 AM

Wow, she's calling all the shots. It's all about her. Sure, you'll get some sex out of it and convince yourself you're "in love", but this isn't going to end well. Women eat men who endlessly cater like this for lunch. I hope one day you start valuing yourself enough to realize what YOU want matters, too, and that you have a right to question someone you feel has wronged you.


I agree with this.
I also think it works with both genders.
If everyone got on board with rational thinking, we wouldn't have most of the problems we do.
 johnnythunder1989
Joined: 11/7/2016
Msg: 144
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 8:36:47 AM
Am I letting her call the shots? Yeah, I am. She's not like what you guys say.

I hate bossy people. She's very nice and upfront about her feelings. If she ever got too bossy for me, I'd walk.

I think she's worth the chase.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 145
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 8:47:02 AM
^^^ The Dopamine has started kicking in.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 146
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 9:00:46 AM
I did not know there was "bossy" and "too bossy".
I guess every word can be enhanced by "too" though.
Don't ever let her know where your line is...that's all I'm saying.
Hopefully you do have one.
 johnnythunder1989
Joined: 11/7/2016
Msg: 147
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 10:28:48 AM
I do have a line. Nothing she's done has even came close to it.

I get that she's still a bit upset about the past. But if she didn't like me, we wouldn't be going out as much as we do.

I look at it like a race. Hopefully I get to finish, and I get the prize at the end.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 148
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 11:05:39 AM

Pig, care to illuminate Johnny and myself about what men may do to make women like them vs. what to do to attract a woman to you?

Before the Do -- put the Concept of the difference in mind first. "This guy is, yeah, dateable I guess, sure, I'll go out with him..." (.... later ....) "Oh, I like him as a person, but just as a friend. He's a real Nice guy. Wholesome Shy Sally, you should go out with him. I think he's perfect for you. He really Is a great guy." That's an example of a guy, sure, ensuring the gal likes him as a person, but it diffuses the attraction and keeps a fire from getting started.

So what should he do? Not a$$-kiss. No big games required. Just not be a fish jumping out of the water, into her boat, saying "Carve me up, and throw me on the grill!" He's not a catch. A VERY unideal way to try and get the attraction fire going. Not just unideal, but most of the time, has a Counter effect -- even when said gal doesn't fully realize it (or admit it to) herself.

The reason we didn’t talk last week was that her parents’ house (where she was staying at for a few days) got broken into pretty badly. It even made the news. It was a quite scary, brutal story. However, her 7 days of lockdown with the puppies ended early because of it.

Yeah, but, she couldn't have texted you back? We're not talking about some routine 1 hour phone call one may have every other day -- but just texting. Sorry brah, that's still a clear signal of a lack of being about you.

So, we went out Saturday and had a great time! She even straight up said she’s been having a blast dating me.

Yes, she's having a blast on the dates, yes. That's a great thing to have with a gal you really dig, don't get me wrong. But there's a difference between that and them Truly being into you. Many times you have a blast in your outings to help garner their True interest. Having a blast does not equal they are into You the same way.

Remember I told you guys that 3 years ago I ditched her on a few dates? She told me the reason she wants to take it so slow is because of that. She said she’s gotta get over that

Yeah, but she obviously sees you have anxiety problems, and did off the bat. And you canceling dates Years ago due to anxiety problems shouldn't be some crazy story to buy. You've already followed-thru on things. You don't send some signal out that you're some player and "anxiety problems" are some BS excuse. That's NOT the real reason, dude. I could see that for a reason of the no-kiss on the 1st date, and wanting to see if you'd go out again, okay-fine,sure. But dude, as you said, you're having a great time in your outings as is she. It's been a handful of dates, she'll kiss you .... and you've been to her place after the 1st date. NO, it's not the reason 3 years ago. Otherwise she wouldn't be having fun on the dates, and it wouldn't have gone on this long.

I’ll just need some patience. I’m all in. I know most of you will say I’m like a dog, obeying orders.

You are. No, seriously, you are. BUT, hey, some gals Do want that. Maybe she's that certain type, I dunno. But her excuse of taking it slow -- is not believable. Gals (and guys) will want to give some Reason to the other as to why they don't want to do or be like this-or-that, to avoid seriousness. Don't buy it. It's not like they're necessarily trying to scam you or fool you out of something... hell, they'll half-way believe their BS much of the time to convince themselves they're doing an OK thing. At this point, so many dates in? She's liking the dates, the Experience... and she probably feels that from those 3 years ago -- it's OK to still utilize you for dating experiences she likes, as justification. :)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 149
Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 11:14:28 AM

I look at it like a race. Hopefully I get to finish, and I get the prize at the end.


I cannot believe my eyes.

Holy. Shit.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 150
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Advice Needed: Great first date, awkward text the next day
Posted: 10/9/2017 11:31:11 AM
CoolD, you could be calling the future Mrs. Johnny Thunder a c/s☺

Boo, I asked Pig for one reason being to know his differentiation between hoop jumping and still doing something pro-active.

Maybe she's the one that's a glutton for punishment by giving him a second chance after he stood her up several times prior to this reconnection? I have no doubt he knows where to draw the line with her, though.

Johnny, did you have that introductory date with the other girl on Sat? If so, how did that go?
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