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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Guy slept with me then blocked me?      Home login  
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 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 26
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
@dpwesu

You're quite right about guys come crawling back. I never give any guy who dumped me directly or indirectly a second chance. They'd already had their chance but blew it. They're gonna have to live with their decision.

No one is so special that I'll give them opportunities to break my heart over and over again. My happiness comes first:)))
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 2:24:36 PM

If I knew what kind of person he is and how he would treat me in the future I obviously wouldn't of slept with him.

I think "the way he treated you", boils down to after finally meeting you in person, he wasn't that into you. Guys AND gals don't know how to handle it so well. It'll always hurt you when You're Into them, while they scale back. You sense that and get upset? You're not handling it so well just as they are, and they understandably walk, as they should (and block, if one gets too freaked out at them).

There's many situations where it's Not cut-n-dry, where the guy bangs the girl, and he runs & hides. You talked for 9 months. Even if he wasn't That into you upon meeting you, he'd still, by default, want to stay in touch. An occasional online chat friend at the least for a while, if she isn't into non-serious dating. I think you were quite clingy and figured you "deserved it", because you slept with him. No. Sleeping with them means Jack Squat as far as commitment/labels/etc when it's a *1st* date, sorry.

No labels in this instance = No, we're not BF/GF because we finally met and fooled around. Nor should it. Why would he say that? Because you're coming on too strong and he doesn't want to give you the wrong idea. That's the motive one would say that On a *1st* date, even after talking with them for a long while prior to ever meeting in person.

It's emotionally the easy-way-out to assume it's so cut-n-dry, he's the bad guy, he used me, etc etc. When really, just because two people who've chatted for many months meet and the other person backs away quickly, even if they fooled around at the end of said 1st meet, doesn't mean said person who's lacking interest was putting on some charade. You WANT to think that. It makes it easier. Makes you feel less "rejected". Not saying he's some perfect dude or anything, but we're not getting both sides of the story -- and a distinct clue there is he said he isn't into labels -- on the 1st date -- which implies you're giving signals that you'll want to be a couple of sorts now or REAL soon, upon meeting for the 1st time!

Think about if the gender roles were reversed. Gal & guy chat for 9 months, on and off. Finally they meet, as the gal's ready to date where she wasn't so ready to date before (hence holding off on meeting him or anyone else). They guy's REALLY into the gal, the gal likes him enough, but he's coming on really strong because he's now actually met her. So they have a few drinks, eases tensions, she says she's not into labels as a warning to the clues he's giving her about wanting too much too soon. He raises an eyebrow and wonders... ok.... they continue their date, it's fine, they're having a good time... one thing leads to another and they fool around. Next day he's on her like white on rice, as if they're BF/GF or something because they actually met. Whoah... she backs away some, he's impatient because he's so into her, and is questioning her a lot. She's freaked out, blocks his #. Did she necessarily execute everything perfectly? No, I wouldn't automatically assume so. Is she the bad guy? No, I wouldn't assume that either.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 28
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 4:14:40 PM
Not everything needs a thesis to explain

WTF brah?
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 29
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 4:59:14 PM
He was dishonest because he never told me about this no labels rubbish till after he got what he wanted.

I never asked for it to be anything serious, think the guy was a bit up himself honestly. Like I'd be wanting a relationship after one date haha. Perhaps he thought I did though. Seems to be he was so intent on it not ever being something serious, that he scared himself off.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 30
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 7:02:26 PM
sleeping with him on the first date, not a good idea. You can control your feelings and wearing a chastity belt is not needed lol! You think guys are fake? If he professed undying love on a first date, more fool you to believe it. If you offer sex, they will take it, why not!!!. If you have been used in the past why are you repeating the experience? It is all up to you what happens. You are in charge of your body. As for waiting 9 months before meeting, dont waste so much time in future. You are an attractive woman and why are you wasting time on the internet?

 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 31
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/10/2017 8:44:01 PM
Not every man is looking for the happy ever after situation.
Many are out of bad relationships and just want no strings sex.
Some just see it as "the hunt" and enjoy that part but once they have had sex they look elsewhere for their next conquest.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 32
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 3:32:01 AM

You can control your feelings and wearing a chastity belt is not needed lol!

Well, I already ordered one and it was kind of expensive so might as well use it
I wasn't used as badly in the past, not like this.

If he wasn't interested he shouldn't of slept with me? Jerkish thing to do. Perhaps he already decided he didn't want a relationship and just wanted to get what he could, that's the explanation that makes most sense to me. Only because he started to go a bit cold before we met.

May of already had someone else too, guy didn't really talk enough for me to know
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 33
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 4:26:20 AM

If he wasn't interested he shouldn't of slept with me? Jerkish thing to do.


If you lost interest in him after sleeping with him, would that make you the one doing the jerkish thing?
Take responsibility for your actions, instead of blaming someone else for the decisions you made.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 34
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 7:20:27 AM
If I lost interest I would just say I don't want to date anymore and either that I'm just not interested or I'd say why.

I have done it before after dates, both after dates that went good and after ones that went bad.
I am honest. What he did was cowardly and cruel.

Though I am glad it happened now in a way, perhaps not the sleeping with him part. I mean now I know what kind of person he is and how he treats women. Terribly lol.
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 35
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 8:21:10 AM
He hit it and quit it. Men do it all the time. Some will admit it some won't. Nothing new.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 36
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 9:06:55 AM
Excellent post by PollyR107................listen to her
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 37
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 10:41:09 AM

He was dishonest because he never told me about this no labels rubbish till after he got what he wanted.

But wait -- why was this dishonest? It'd only be dishonest if he led you on that there would be "labels" (GF, BF, "item", "going steady", etc). If anything, it's Being honest. Maybe delivered in a crude way, dunno. But basically, you went out on a date after talking for so long, hooked up, then after, he seemed to lack interest.

Perhaps he thought I did though. Seems to be he was so intent on it not ever being something serious, that he scared himself off.

Yeah, maybe. Happens. Especially after talking for 9 months on and off online, he could have gotten that impression -- or was playing it too swiftly. Nobody was there to say you were in fact throwing himself on him, but it doesn't take that to rightfully give the signal. But, it also doesn't mean he wasn't hasty in getting that "feeling". He knows you two have talked a lot, he could see you really liked him, you two hooked up... the next day he fears the expectation that you wanting to "itemize" swiftly, so he throws out the warning... that doesn't go over so well, things get weird, he backs away, you get WTF -- he runs.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 38
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 10:58:36 AM
Perhaps the sex was bad?

He didn’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you the truth
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 39
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 2:41:04 PM
" I guess I found out the hard way what kind of person he is. "

No, you are finding out what kind of person you are. A man going his own way doesn't necessarily mean he is in monk mode. I think you found one who likes to string them along and then pump and dump them. Maybe a smooth talker with an agenda from the beginning. He may have been juggling 5 other "friends" just like you. So now you're a naught on his belt and he is going to chase the others. He has you and probably thinks you will do him again.

The best way to avoid this type is to change what you are doing. You can not change him/them. It's hard to believe that in nine months there were no red flags.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 40
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 4:39:50 PM

Not everything needs a thesis to explain

WTF brah?


Dirteejohn (see message 29) Amen to that!!!!

These constant "wall of texts" make my eyes bleed!!!!!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 41
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/11/2017 7:44:10 PM
Sienna

you are a grown woman and should not be so naive about men. Of course he fancied you and you were willing.
Why you feel so used when you only just met in person, I dont know. Chalk it up to a one night stand, we all have them.
He may have all sorts of issues going on and you may have dodged a bullet in fact. Just make sure you use some kind of contraception, right!!!!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 42
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 5:08:45 AM
Whaaaaaaat the f*ck??? NINE MONTHS TO MEET?!?! Oh, please explain this. I am dying to hear the reasoning here.

At some point, the two of you HAD to think of each other as low value for enduring that kind of wait. Damn. You're a decent looking girl, so I just don't get it.

However, I agree that blocking was a cowardly pissant move.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 5:25:40 AM

Try to wait longer to have sex next time....that can weed out most of the guys who are not serious.


Not necessarily. Some men might be willing to wait because they don't have better options at the moment, a woman is extremely attractive and/or they see this as some type of challenge. It is also possible that he felt the sex was bad. I think the biggest problem was taking 9 months to go out on a date. My general rule is set up a date / meeting within 2 weeks of initial contact. Unless there are extenuating circumstances such as 1 person being on vacation.
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 44
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 5:51:40 AM
Or some men are seeing multiple women at the same time . They can wait 9 monthes because they are allready sleeping with other women. Their are some men that are just players.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 45
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 11:19:45 AM
Waiting 9 months to meet is a bad, bad idea. You build up more of a relationship in your head, then is there in real life. He may have met you and something turned him off, made him uninterested in continuing. Maybe something small, the way you laugh, the sound of your voice. Or he could be an assh*le that is judging you because you put out on the first date. Yeah, I know, so did he! But that doesn't stop him from judging and you can't change it now. You'll never know. Learn and move on. And next time meet sooner! Nine months is ridiculous.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 46
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 11:47:39 AM

Not necessarily. Some men might be willing to wait because they don't have better options at the moment, a woman is extremely attractive and/or they see this as some type of challenge.

Wait for a bit, yeah. But I think OP --- having the guy have to say he's not into labels + blocking her after talking with her for 9 months (which is MUCH less likely to happen if they met at a bar+porked same night) --- was clingy which was an understandably strong turn-off, regardless of how poorly the guy handled it or not. But let's say the guy wanted to hit-it-n-quit-it, as someone in OP's position hurt by it wants to believe: Said type of guy isn't going to wait around for date #4, and usually not #3. And talking for 9 months -- if his goal was to hit-it-n-quit-it from the outset, it would have had to be extremely sparse. Guys aren't going to wait around for Too long Just to get laid-n-bolt. Of course, a gal doesn't want to play the "you gotta earn it" game where they (sexually) flirt and dangle the opportunity in front of him -- where that's all he's focused on. Then, yeah, a guy will wait it out for a while, then come to his senses and want to walk if she wasn't a great catch, but he got caught up in the Chase that she wanted.

All in all, it's Much more likely, given even on/off chat over 9 months, some basic stuff as the core element. Like you point out, sex being bad, she not looking as attractive online vs in-person, or she projecting herself as if you're already an item & being clingy -- or some combination thereof. It's OK for a gal to walk -- but not for a guy. :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 47
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 2:33:44 PM

siennarh, Do you realllllyyyy want to go thru alllll the same questions we answered for you before



so I just don't get it.



Or should we call you............
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014

Broken Hearts

Was my ex using me/a jerk or misunderstood?
Posted: 2/15/2015 7:05:04 AM


OK, Pig I'll give you a hint.
Clue:
#1. Op has been here before..... under ........several different screen names.
#2. Op created a s--- storm. She was deleted, users were deleted, posts were deleted, whole threads were deleted.
#3. History repeated.

I'm gonna sit back and watch the train.................go by.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 48
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 4:19:32 PM
That must have happened when I wasn't here. None of it is ringing any bells for me.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 49
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/12/2017 9:13:28 PM
Makes no sense to me. As a geek/anime girl she should have hundreds of guys at her disposal who would come over and watch 50 episodes of Pokemon just to share popcorn from the same bowl.

And a lot of those guys are nerd/techs who make $$$$. Why isn't she farming those fertile fields? Perhaps she is, and we're only getting the story from ONE of her 10 personalities?

Whatever. Makes no sense to me. I've got some Pokemon Go to play on my smartphone, now....
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 50
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Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/13/2017 8:06:50 AM
I didn't meet him sooner because he didn't talk that much and I was suspicious of that. Either he is way too busy, not that interested or is talking to loads of girls.

He asked to meet a few times but I said no for those exact reasons. When I said yes I kind of regretted it because he went a bit cold after he secured the date. I was thinking what the heck isn't he even excited or wanting to meet me? Why's he not talking much? Anyway I went through with it because I'm naive and stupid, pretty much that is it. Sad I know.

I would not say I deserved to be ghosted and treated in that manner though. He obviously didn't care about me even in the slightest to even let me know what the heck is going on.
Showed me he is a cruel person who doesn't care about other people and can hurt them if it suits him.

He worked in IT but he was semi pro gamer, did tournaments. Perhaps he didnt want to waste ny of his time on me. Who knows. Pretty much right after sex he was semi ignoring me playing pokemon.

Gamers and weeaboos usually aren't rich. They usually don't have much of a life and dedicate most of their time to gaming and weeaboo hobbies. Dated a gamer before, even he wasn't this bad lol.
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