I'm posting this because I'm extremely frustrated. I know I may sound desperate, but tbh I'm lonely.
Stop being so frustrated. Take a chill pill, relax. Enjoy the single life. Being frustrated about not datING a gal is probably the root of your problems. As you said......
I have hooked up with a LOT of women offline. But the frustrating thing is, my goals were actually to find a real relationship. I hooked up with them, and then they ghosted me shortly after. Most of these were women claiming they wanted something real as well, I believed them, we texted and talked on the phone for hours, we went out, had sex, and then I never heard from them again.
So you've had success in the dating scene but it always Stops after date 1. First, you may suck in bed. Few are going to walk after having Great sex after date #1. If you're too tipsy, that can avoid someone having great sex. And 1st-date-sex will always make Some gals walk -- but in the end, when it happens a lot, even after talking a good amount before said 1st date: You may not be horrible in bed, but you're not great. Work on that.
Second -- if the sex part is adequate, or especially if it's a bit more than adequate -- another factor comes into play. You're likely scaring them. Probably coming on too strong since you're frustrated & lonely (boo hoo).
In the end, I wouldn't push for sex at all on a 1st date (but still have 'come back to my place' and have -some- physical interaction)... and not be pushy to be in some weird/creepy GF-hunting mode. Chill out. Enjoy the single life. You getting too emotionally worked up over it's killing ya (or your bedroom procedures if they do suck).