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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Hyper-Masculinity and the "Me Too" movement      Home login  
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 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 26
Hyper-Masculinity and the Me Too movementPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Cool story, bro.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/24/2017 3:01:00 PM
Radio call in shows, naturally, are aimed at getting attention in order to sell ads. That said, I posted a while ago that many "family friendly" insults are designed to compare one to women (you cried like a girl, you throw like a girl, don't get your panties in a bunch, handle it like a man rather than like an adult, etc) even though little boys aren't exactly full of poise and maturity. Years and years ago, I knew a woman transgendering into a man, and we discussed gender body language. I can only imagine what college age people talk in this age of transgender-acceptance and replacing he/her with ze and zem.

I wouldn't be surprised if older women are staying with roles they learned, understood, and figured out how to use to their advantage. Just like people of a certain age, hate to use computers. Who wants to learn something new, after we figured out how to live with the old technology? Women might be empowered only b/c they got divorced, and had to take the father role...but do they want it? Maybe they want the benefit of being the breadwinner, but not the work involved. And what's unusual about that? how many single dads want to play mom?

Being the SNAG (sensitive, new age guy) who was in touch with his feminine side, never got me laid. if gender roles gets me laid, then i'll be fine with them. I find a lot of people trying on different personalities like clothes, trying to figure out in their life, where they belong. games will be played. in the end, so long as I am respected, i'll be fine. Though I can say from high school experience (learned when I went to the reunion, and people who weren't interested in hanging out with me back then were very interested in how my life turned out), people can respect you for staying the way you are, being true to yourself and others, not chasing fad nor fancy...and yet, as much as they respect you, they don't find you fun to hang out with on their journey in life.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 28
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/26/2017 5:10:09 AM

Being the SNAG (sensitive, new age guy)


Ugh. F*ck that. These types of men do more DEFENDING of women than actually banging them.

I just envisioned the beach scene from the movie, "Bedazzled". Holy shit, if that scene didn't hit the nail right on the head.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 29
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/27/2017 2:45:56 AM
A SNAG does not sound sexy... There's gotta be a way to be a normal man and be considerate of women, no?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 30
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/27/2017 3:07:19 AM

(mahwahgirl339114) A SNAG does not sound sexy... There's gotta be a way to be a normal man and be considerate of women, no?


(*ahem*) You rang?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/27/2017 6:07:21 AM
so, I youtube'd that beach scene. wow. painful. And I never realized Brendon Frazer looks a bit like Jimmy Fallon.

SNAGs are not only lacking in sexiness, they also chase after the girls who are "confused" and sleep with losers who use them. SNAGs hope that these women are easy, and they'll be next in line. But, there is a way for a dude to be normal, and be considerate of women. Of course, part of that is realizing not all women are worthy of being considerate. Leave the rude and the b1tchy women to other guys, and be considerate by treating a woman as a human being, rather than trying to be nice as a way to get her in the sack.

ultimately, there isn't a way to trick a woman into thinking you are sexy. You have to be what you are, and she has to come to the idea on her own. You can play the alpha male, but if she can't imagine your body naked, its b/c she doesn't want to.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 32
be attractive, and no one gives a rat's ass.you still have a body they want to bed down.
Posted: 12/27/2017 7:38:06 AM

And I never realized Brendon Frazer looks a bit like Jimmy Fallon.


I guess I didn't either until now, but yes, it's in the eyes.

That scene is priceless. F*cking hilarious. The dolphin song absolutely killed me, and boy did Frazer's character totally misuse the wishes he was granted. Damn.

Elizabeth Hurley was absolutely smoldering in that movie, too.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 33
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History
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/27/2017 10:36:24 AM

I find a lot of people trying on different personalities like clothes, trying to figure out in their life, where they belong. Games will be played.

I find the people that are more 'Alpha' with their situations aren't that flexible. They may re-program their wording to sound to themselves like they are progressive, but the more they believe their own BS, the less chance they actually have of change.

In the end, so long as I am respected, I'll be fine.

Agreed.
I'm just finding a lot of women who demand respect instead of command respect, and they are so self-absorbed they can't tell the difference.
I'm sure there are plenty of guys who behave the same way.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 34
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/27/2017 2:49:10 PM

I'm just finding a lot of women who demand respect instead of command respect, and they are so self-absorbed they can't tell the difference.


There's never a shortage of p*ssified white knight ***holes who help fan the flames of this mentality, too, as if she's entitled to it for simply being a woman.

I treat people based on their behavior, not their sex.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 35
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/27/2017 4:47:30 PM
“Agreed.
I'm just finding a lot of women who demand respect instead of command respect, and they are so self-absorbed they can't tell the difference.
I'm sure there are plenty of guys who behave the same way.”

There definitely are. Some people fall into opposing ends of the spectrum. It is either strict gender roles (“a man needs respect, a woman needs love”) or everyone is the same in every way. The advice out there gets comical. Guys are told to look at a woman as just another human (therefore not worry about rejection). Women are told (this is actual dating advice which is pretty popular) that “you either get to be cherished or respected and as a woman you should be cherished.” I recently saw an article, a Christian article from the “a man needs respect, a woman needs love” camp, that discussed how a wife can respect a lying husband. I made a comment that a wife can feign respect but for it to be genuine it must be earned, and a lying husband has not earned it. Meanwhile, much older sources such as Dostoevsky, when speaking of relationships, give much more sound advice that mutual respect is key.

Gender roles are fun when kept in perspective. Sure, polarity fuels attraction and romance. A woman wants to be proposed to, not be the one to propose. A man enjoys doing nice things for a woman and seeing her appreciative smile. Also, a woman is right to be more selective with her sexuality, as one who has a limited number of “family jewels” while a man can run around forever and everywhere. The selectivity may not be conscious but all the emotional mess that shows up when a woman makes indiscriminate sexual choices, especially when she is young, shows her that being smart is a better idea. But, when talk of gender roles progresses into making men and women into different species where one deserves respect and another love, one is all drive and logic and the other all “receptivity and changeability” or whatever, the discourse stops making sense from a human psychology point of view and becomes more fairy-tale like.

Speaking of divorced women, a woman will likely feel angry to read something like “soften up, let the man lead, be receptive” when her husband left, same as a daughter of divorce or born out of wedlock would be annoyed to read about “modern women forgetting what it means to be a woman and let the man take care of you” when her father could not be bothered raising her and she has no idea what it’s like to be taken care of.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 36
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/28/2017 8:49:50 AM
Look, forget all that weird stuff. Women are just people...... the main difference between men and women is that one has an innie, and the other has an outie!

Just deal with nice, sane people and women, and forget the rest of those knuckleheads.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 37
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/28/2017 9:09:45 AM

The mistaken assumption behind all of this is that any of it matters

People over thinking, analyzing and trying to put people in a box.
Quit it!!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 38
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 12/28/2017 1:49:20 PM
"I find the people that are more 'Alpha' with their situations aren't that flexible. They may re-program their wording to sound to themselves like they are progressive, but the more they believe their own BS, the less chance they actually have of change."

>>>if a person fails to get what they want or need from the people around them...they will question what they are doing. They may decide to demand more, or be more polite, or to try getting what they want from other people (including themselves). But people who already get what they want or need from the people around them (likely b/c they offer already something that the people around them hunger for), don't question whether or not they conduct themselves the proper way. why should they question what they do--its working somehow. no need to become flexible or change.

"I find more human beings who demand respect rather than command or earn respect"

>>>a friend of mine is having an issue right now with her immediate manager. that particular woman cannot handle when things inevitably go wrong in the workplace. its like its personal, when things go wrong, they do so to show she lacks control. so she yells and throw fits and plays power games...which then turns a molehill issue into a mountain of a problem. Her ability to gain respect from her employees, is like holding a wet bar of soap--the tighter she grasps, the more it slips away from her.

Gender roles may work best if they actually are a part of the wielder's personality. A man can enjoy doing nice things for a woman, but she can do the same. however, they may do it to the other person, in different ways...that may fit their gender roles :) or may fit their abilities. something that they do well, they do for the other person. One might give advice, the other may cook, for example.

"The selectivity may not be conscious but all the emotional mess that shows up when a woman makes indiscriminate sexual choices, especially when she is young, shows her that being smart is a better idea."

>>Smart youth? where do they exist? :) ironically, this may be where gender roles and rules about what date to have sex on, come into play--with people who may not have experience in dating, or who make poor choices b/c they confuse need with want. if they can follow ground rules, they may be saved from their own poor choices, until they can reach a point where they make better choices. putting people into boxes or applying labels may not be fair, but for those who's "picker is broken", it may be like a set of training wheels.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 39
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/4/2018 12:50:47 AM

There's never a shortage of p*ssified white knight ***holes who help fan the flames of this mentality, too, as if she's entitled to it for simply being a woman.

I treat people based on their behavior, not their sex.


Here's a thought, how about respecting people simply because their human? I guess when you're raised better, you do/know better.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 40
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/4/2018 4:49:17 AM

Here's a thought, how about respecting people simply because their human? I guess when you're raised better, you do/know better.


You know, as much as I would like to give you a slow clap for this wonderfully profound POF Forums "moment", I think I'm going to say "f*ck that" and continue treating people based on their behavior. Meaning, they get respect when they act respectable. Man OR woman.

How amusing it is to see you here with this sanctimonious load of horseshit after your claim there's no way the men who have contacted you here aren't special needs adults in the "POF is bottom of the barrel" thread. Where's the "respect people simply because they're human" element in *that* scenario??

Next time, think of your own posts before you start dumping hokey Hallmark sentiments in a different thread.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/4/2018 4:26:55 PM
You can respect people, and want to teach them how not to be making mistakes in life :)

personally, I think a person's behavior gives you license to treat them as they treat others, ie...behave. Its probably human to judge how to treat someone else, by the level of respect they give to themselves. after all, who knows them better? :)
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 42
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/4/2018 6:25:33 PM
Well there's something to be said for treating a person better than they deserve, I've even had an instance where it led to an apology from the individual... and I absolutely felt like a d*** (if a girl can feel like a d***) after treating someone poorly and they turned around and were nice to me.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 43
view profile
History
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/5/2018 11:25:35 AM

...after treating someone poorly and they turned around and were nice to me...

I'd like to explore that context - that people are 'Nice' as a reaction - only after someone else has been worse. That's not remotely true in many cases - nice people are nice people, period - but framing it THAT way makes what YOU did sound like it was the source of them being kind. Think about that context for a minute. Who deserved what? And Why?

People can be polite, well-mannered, and still be judgemental as hell. Being 'Nice' isn't an extraordinary effort - yet people frame it as such because they really do not want to be anything more than that.

People are afraid of many things. Fearful of trying harder, fearful of being accused, fearful of having their truths exposed - and yet feel fully empowered to preach it to others by any means necessary.

I find it amusing how people call out judgement on others without a shred of evidence. Convicting a whole social group, a whole geographical region, a whole generation or even a whole gender of being 'guilty' of something simply because of one shared circumstance. Yet when someone hurts thee, it's very personal, very individual, very much a DIRECT attack on themselves, personally - even if the 'action' is as impersonal as passing a vehicle on the freeway. That's a defensive mechanism. To protect ourselves from harm, but even more so - to protect ourselves from the guilt of harm we do to others. Maybe we should stop concentrating on lessening the perceived blows we get from others.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 44
What is being attractive 'enough' nowadays? It's not average.
Posted: 1/5/2018 3:16:53 PM
"Well there's something to be said for treating a person better than they deserve"

>>>there is. Its good to act Christian, to give a person the benefit of the doubt (maybe they are having a bad day), and to hold one's head high and not descend to the level of another (for reasons other than sticking it to them that we were the better person, etc). But what also should be said, of course, is one should defend oneself from losing something important. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words won't hurt me. If a third party comes up to me and asks, "don't you think Person A acts rude?", and they are telling the truth, then i'm going to agree. Its not treating Person A well, to speak about them behind their back, but I believe we can tell the truth about a person's actions, and not about the person.

Also, if you hang around here long enough, you will notice some people brag about being a a-hole. If they are happy with their attitude, well, I guess i'll be happy to be free to call them what they want to be :)

"I find it amusing how people call out judgement on others without a shred of evidence. Convicting a whole social group, a whole geographical region, a whole generation or even a whole gender of being 'guilty' of something simply because of one shared circumstance."

>>>Alas, its human nature to tell everyone we're the victimized :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 45
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History
Doing it like a girl
Posted: 1/7/2018 6:57:26 AM
You can raise a male child to be what's termed as masculine without demeaning women with statements like you do "x" like a girl. That's demeaning to the child also.

Shooting like a girl: https://goo.gl/images/BjpsbU
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 46
Doing it like a girl
Posted: 1/7/2018 5:02:28 PM

lso, if you hang around here long enough, you will notice some people brag about being a a-hole.


I've been accused of being brash here on the forums, but for those who actually pay attention, they're probably aware that I've had people I've always "debated" with here, and never exchanged insults with them. I bring out the a*shole in retaliation.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
Doing it like a girl
Posted: 1/8/2018 6:16:01 AM
Shoot, I've had prior posters in the past, accuse me of being an anal opening :) I treated them, either the way they treated others...or I treated them the way they were acting.

Back at university, I had a friend who defined the term, and ever since felt it was more appropriate:

its a person who outright refuses to see what is plainly clear and in front of them. One who acts in clear denial of reality and rational conclusion.

i'm sure other people will think, its a person who is acting like a jerk. I figure there are plenty of other colorful descriptions for them :)
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