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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 26
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Great way to feed the homeless and hungry.
A new definition of humanitarian
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 27
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 6:38:47 AM

OP, I think you should just hang out at the airport. There are plenty of restaurants and bars there, where you can strike up conversations with lone female travelers, whom you'll never see again.


It might depend on the airport. But many of the restaurants and bars at airports are located past security checkpoints. I wouldn't want to deal with that just to possibly have an "one and done" encounter with a stranger.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 28
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 9:50:54 AM

It might depend on the airport. But many of the restaurants and bars at airports are located past security checkpoints. I wouldn't want to deal with that just to possibly have an "one and done" encounter with a stranger.


Yes, it depends on the airport. Reread message 15. I named a place that was pre-security in terminal 4 of the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, which is in the OP's area.

Also, you don't have to "ask" women to have dinner with you at airport bars that also serve food. All you have to do is sit next to them.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 29
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 10:02:29 AM
How is that any better than what already happens?

You WANT to ghost or be ghosted?

I don't get it, am I missing something here?
One time only dinner date where you want to be ghosted, sounds crazy.

Why not chose one you like the most and go on more than one dinner dates with her?
Seems defeatest to be having a different one every time, like what are you trying to accomplish here, lots of one night stands? I don't know?
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 30
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 10:13:54 AM
Is there no 'DinnerHosRUs in your vicinity, OP?

Lots of hungry women out there I've heard~

;-)

hahahahahaha
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 31
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 2:13:21 PM
Honestly, it's a first meeting when you meet someone from online, not a first date. You set that up if you click when meeting.

Just meet and grab a cup of coffee somewhere. You're only out four bucks if there's no sparks.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 32
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/26/2017 4:42:03 PM

Great way to feed the homeless and hungry.

In the movie "I'm Gonna Git You Sucker!" a guy creates a meal called 'ho cakes, because " 'ho's gotta eat, too!"
Seems defeatest to be having a different one every time, like what are you trying to accomplish here, lots of one night stands? I don't know?

Just meet and grab a cup of coffee somewhere. You're only out four bucks if there's no sparks.


This is what concerns me - even after explaining that the dinner is only about company and conversation, and not about dating, people slap all kinds of additional inferences on it.

I think I will do the Meetup Foodie stuff. This way I don't have to set up anything, all I have to do is show up and join the conversation. Also gives me an opportunity to hear what people are talking about in general - a broader scope. Of all the suggestions, I think this is the best and most workable, since it's already set up. I already checked my Meetup account and narrowed it to a few groups in the area.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 33
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 2:04:03 AM

You WANT to ghost or be ghosted?

I don't get it, am I missing something here?

Both ways -- to ghost each other. Kind of like sitting down with someone at an airport cafe, chatting, and, well, no -- not wanting to exchange #s and be pen-pals (waste of time 95% of the time anyway). A guy & a gal chatting at one of those places don't consciously "plan" to, but yeah, many don't want to exchange #s and keep in touch when they live in different states, etc.

One time only dinner date where you want to be ghosted, sounds crazy.

It's a date -- but not a date-date. Much like having a "lunch date" with someone for an interview when you're trying to interview a boatload of random people for stuff. Lunch date, my treat. But no, I'm not trying to be dating you -- so I'm going to go out of my way to Avoid it so ya don't get the wrong idea.

Why not chose one you like the most and go on more than one dinner dates with her?

That's an interesting question of course -- of course he's not going for fuglies. And if he really likes the gal, do I think he'll Really want them to mutually ghost? No.

Seems defeatest to be having a different one every time, like what are you trying to accomplish here, lots of one night stands? I don't know?

No, as he said, after the check comes (his treat), they say their goodbyes, that's it. Ends there -- much like talking to a gal in an airport in some other faraway state, and with a plane delay, agreeing to go over to Subway... doesn't mean you want to exchange #s with this faraway person and become pen pals and such. Now, if she's HOT and Wow-- really really cool and strikes a nerve, even OP I'm sure will end up willing to be FB friends if she really asks and is a sweet person (but that's probably it; it'll fizzle/ghost over time anyway).

So what is he getting out of this? Dating "practice". I see the benefit in it, but the problem is OP -- you'd be making it too weird, too much so that you wouldn't be getting a good "simulation", and even a miscue of one if/when a gal agrees about it, much of the time.

If it's for getting some practice-swings in, I agree with the airport thing. And since you're the guy, much of the time, it'd "be up to you" to ask for the # which you don't do... although a gal once in a good while will, and sometimes when not, suggest FB. In the end you can just say you don't use FB -- and if a gal suggests a # exchange you can say "you're pretty, and seem cool, but honestly, I'm not ready to date, nor trying to make new friends with my busy life -- but again, you're really cool." Something like that.

Because the batting-practice experience isn't so much a Standard DATE Setting -- but the interaction of sitting down with a gal, in which there can be some mutual attraction. Ya don't have to go the complicated route of setting up a "Date Simulation 2.0; my treat" for that to happen at all, and since that'd be really, well, weird -- yeah, best to avoid. Instead, the airport idea -- or even not that, as it doesn't require them living far away (as many in an AZ airport do live within an hour or two of there)... you could go to a bar, bookstore (coffee shop), etc. Or even a Meetup group. It's the 1-on-1 mingling that's the main key. Isolating a target, and taking practice swings there. And ya don't need an Absolutist thing about never-talk-again-Ever thing -- but you can set the tone where it won't hardly happen anyway or very minimally, playing your cards right without some big weird "must ghost each other" disclaimer - lol.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 34
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 5:51:46 AM

I think I will do the Meetup Foodie stuff. This way I don't have to set up anything, all I have to do is show up and join the conversation.


The Salvation Army and Good Shepherd have those too. And their prices are very reasonable.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 35
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 6:47:40 AM

Honestly, it's a first meeting when you meet someone from online, not a first date. You set that up if you click when meeting.

Just meet and grab a cup of coffee somewhere. You're only out four bucks if there's no sparks.


That's not what the OP is looking for. Besides in your scenario, I think the first meeting can be considered as a date. It's just often a casual one.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 36
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 9:53:25 AM
Alright I see what you are saying Norwegian guy.

I think if he actually told a girl on a dating site the "plan" or had it on his page, they would do one of two things, one; use him for a free meal, or two; think he is crazy and not looking for anything serious and not bother.

I think it would be rare a girl who actually wants to find a relationship to be interested in such an arrangement. Its like being told you are going to be chucked away without really having a chance.
Got to think of how women will view this, and that is how.

A meet up group is probably more appropriate and would probably be more successful to achieve whatever exactly it is you are hoping to achieve from this. Be that, general socialization or "practice" or whatever.
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 37
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 10:56:41 AM
If I was looking for a relationship, I would say no to this proposal. I'm not going out of my way to spend whatever free time I have with a man. When I already know it would be the first and only time I would see him. Msg 9 makes some good points about why it wouldn't be a good idea. I do agree with the joining a social club / group suggestion.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 38
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/27/2017 5:32:14 PM
aintnodeal- Igor Frankensteen's post already covered exactly what I was thinking.(post #9)
I would meet just to talk, but if the conversation was good, I would want to meet again, even if it stayed platonic.
I second the suggestion to join some type of social group in your area.
You are more likely to find what you are looking for there.
One thing, if you are going to use an online dating site, please say, exactly, in your profile what you said in this post.
Women should know what it is you seek, especially ones hoping for a relationship.
If they still want to meet you, fine, but please be honest in your intent.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 39
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/31/2017 12:51:01 AM
Well....haven't found a foodie event I've joined yet....but I've signed up for a Bowling League and perhaps a Volleyball Group ( depends on whether or not I die after the first game ). Maybe I'll get some interesting chats out of these different environments....? I'm switching up my usual routines a bit. Gotta get the stale-ness out of my system.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 40
Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/31/2017 1:19:17 PM
While I didn't read the entire post.......

If dinner and nice conversation is all you are looking for.....

Why don't you join a local "supper club" where you go to a restaurant, meet up with a bunch of people who want just that.....

Have a nice meal, pay your own tab, and meet up the next week or month.

There is no "dating" and worrying about who is going to pay for what.....no expectations.....just a bunch of folks who come from all walks of life just looking for some nice company, dinner, and conversation. Nothing more, nothing less.

I did that for a couple years and made some very nice friends.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 41
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/31/2017 1:36:33 PM

I think if he actually told a girl on a dating site the "plan" or had it on his page, they would do one of two things, one; use him for a free meal, or two; think he is crazy and not looking for anything serious and not bother.

I agree -- which is why it's not a good idea for him to have some set game-plan like that. The game-plan itself, even if it wouldn't be too difficult finding willing participants, isn't a good idea. The concept in which it's Based on is OK.... but he went too far with it in his hypothetical setup.

I think it would be rare a girl who actually wants to find a relationship to be interested in such an arrangement.

Well, not all gals are relationship-hunting. Second, even for gals who are, it doesn't mean they're not willing to have a just-a-date with a guy when she's not juggling a lot of guys at the time. Much the same as a relationship-hunting gal isn't going to necessarily shoo away the concept of having a guy friend. Third, there are Many gals who have the same mentality as OP. But most importantly, Fourth, executing a scenario preemptively that "I'll take you out to dinner, we'll have a nice date & conversation, and we'll go our separate ways, never to be anything more than silent Facebook friends at the most," -- kills the mood & comfort-zone, which is why it's a bad idea - lol.

Its like being told you are going to be chucked away without really having a chance.

It's not a "how women view this" -- it's a people thing to potentially take it that way. But Emotionally desperate people might no matter what, but one isn't necessarily going to take it that way if presented properly. He's chucking himself away from a possibly good catch who takes things slow, which is fitting for his vagenda. Emphasizing that -- much like preemptively letting a gal know at the airport when both flights delayed "Here, let's have dinner at that place a 5 minute walk away. My treat. But no, don't worry... I'm not going to try to become long-distance friends or more with ya. You seem cool, and it'd be nice to have some company before our delayed flights come back around."

A meet up group is probably more appropriate and would probably be more successful to achieve whatever exactly it is you are hoping to achieve from this. Be that, general socialization or "practice" or whatever.

Or just general socializing, which is the norm. Don't aim for dates, just socialize, and lean toward including the opp-sex into the mix of mingling. Baby steps. No Meetup meetings required for that.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 42
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 12/31/2017 8:58:00 PM
I think the danger is that you're going into it with a preconceived idea of what should happen. That might cause you to pass over a great match.
I suggest being more open to whatever might happen. You could go forward with your plan to meet women in the same manner, but be open
to second dates, or whatever feels right.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 43
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - is just cheap, in another way.
Posted: 5/27/2018 4:29:36 AM

So....my questions to everyone here:
Do you think women would accept a one-time-only dinner date?


First (and last?) dates are always a gamble, anyway. If you're honest about it the way you're posing it, here, you might get mixed results, and the result you favor might occur in only some of the occassions. (Women want to be taken seriously.)

I can't imagine expending the effort on meeting somebody for a once-off meeting. I can learn the recipes from suggested restaurant and make it for somebody who is more serious about dating me. But, that's me.


Does it sound creepy?



No. Not if you're honest about it, up front and can accept the consequences of the trial run.


Is there a way to avoid that and have good dinner-only dates?
What pitfalls could I encounter?


Wasting your time, effort, and money, for variety of faces? You need to be more creative and open to different possibilities.


I see two concerns on my part:
- I get stood up. But OTOH, I still get to eat at a nice place and save $$ I would have spent.



If it's only for one date and that's it, it shouldn't be a concern. There will be somebody else to fill your dinner card, in a week or two, yes?


I can't afford to treat someone every week. Well, I'll have to face that when it comes. I mean, I can make excuses, or I can think in terms of abundance, and decide to avoid all fast food snacks in exchange for one nice meal at the end of the week.


Start saving your coffee money!

Seriously?

You just said you would do so for a different person, 1x every week. This isn't a matter of money; it's a matter of variety you think you're entitled to experience, without any concern for the person you're inviting, I guess.

If you can find a different person to dine with, 1x a week and they don't mind it for this one time, go for what you know and enjoy it. Make sure it's an intriguing, interesting, and creative experience, every time. That would, of course, force you to get to know what somebody likes or doesn't? I don't know too many women who want to stand in as a pillar to keep up a man's crumbling ego just so he can be entertained with no benefit to them.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 44
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - cheapskatery in effort and time is just as bad.
Posted: 5/27/2018 4:33:13 AM

Is there no 'DinnerHosRUs in your vicinity, OP?


Even dinner hoes have more to offer than what he's offering.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 45
Dinner Dates - One & Done - cheapskatery in effort and time is just as bad.
Posted: 5/27/2018 12:20:38 PM
Purchase escort services instead. You're paying by the hour and there are no strings attached. You'll both be on the same page and sex is not guaranteed, but good company is. I mention the (lack of) sex portion because you claim that's not what you're seeking, but rather female companionship over a meal.

The only drawback to this proposal would be the escort's pay rates, as they do tend to be very steep. A lot of them claim you're not paying for the sex but rather the company.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 46
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Dinner Dates - One & Done - Feasable...?
Posted: 5/27/2018 6:48:16 PM
Make it clear in your profile that you are not looking for a relationship, just dinner and good conversation, and give it a go. I'd certainly go out with someone who asked if I thought he'd be good company for a casual evening of conversation, and feel none the worse for knowing I was unlikely to see him again. I'd want to split the tab/pay for my own meal, however, so maybe be flexible on that.
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