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 DINNO76
Joined: 12/20/2017
Msg: 26
Match.com: All about the money(?)Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If people successfully found dates from paid online dating sites the sites would go out of buisiness. If people fail but still think they have a chance of meeting someone they will keep paying making the dating site more money.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 27
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/11/2018 9:51:35 AM
I never listed my income when I used Match. I do think there is some truth to men getting more emails when they increase their income or education level. Not unlike men getting more emails when they increase their height. These men probably appeared in the search results of more women.


There's a huge portion of people that are repeat offenders on multiple dating sites. I refuse to see Match as 'Better' when about 60-70% of their clients are still fishing on other sites. The other 'kicker' about Match is that they don't distinguish between paid members that can actually message or use the services and the unpaid 'lurkers' who only use it for a scouting opportunity.


I have used both Match and POF. Although there are flakes, jerks, liars, cheaters etc on every OLD website, I do think the quality of people is relatively better on Match and I had relatively more success on Match with getting more emails and dates. Yes there are some people on Match that are also on POF or another free OLD website. But not all of them are active on both websites. When I was on Match and POF at the same time, I invested more time and energy on Match because I was paying for it.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 28
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/19/2018 2:35:06 AM
"Incels" is short for "Involuntary Celibates," men who have gone without sex for at least six months, not of their own volition.


Therein lies the irony of the incel community. r/incels has countless posts objectifying and vilifying women, yet these same men writing these posts desperately want to have sex with the women they hate—because they barely view women as more than sex objects, and more often, antagonists to their goal of sex.


haenfler.sites.grinnell.edu/subcultures-and-scenes/incels/
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 29
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/20/2018 6:29:57 PM
^
Haha, I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over six mouths out on that.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 30
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/20/2018 6:43:51 PM
When I was looking, I was always on POF and Match, oddly enough all of my relationships that lasted over a year, we’re all off POF.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 31
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/23/2018 9:10:19 PM
Those messages could have been from bots. Match is notorious for using them.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 32
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 6:24:57 AM

While you do have to pay to use Match I have found it to be a MUCH better dating website.

For example, POF doesn't even do email verification which results in many profiles being fake which is quite annoying. Also, by Match being a pay site it also tends to attract a better range of singles.

Remember: You get what you pay for.



OP, women are the "guardian of the egg" in evolutionary terms, so when looking for a SERIOUS relationship, they will look at all aspects of a woman, INCLUDING INCOME. They'd be stupid not to.

You've got the money now, why not enjoy some success w/ women, rather than QUESTION it?

There are plenty of NICE girls who do look at income along w/ a man's character.

Don't you have criteria? Don't you like attractive women? Or did you sign up on Match to meet The Ugliest Girl In Town? (not meaning to marginalize women)

The same way men look at women for sexual attraction, women take income into consideration. No not gold diggers, just normal every day women who want a normal every day man. Not a rich one, but one who can carry his own weight, plus be a responsible provider to any potential offspring.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 33
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 6:28:10 AM
oopsie, tried to edit (don't post b4 morning coffee)

OP, women are the "guardian of the egg" in evolutionary terms, so when looking for a SERIOUS relationship, they will look at all aspects of a man
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 34
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 7:55:48 AM

The same way men look at women for sexual attraction, women take income into consideration. No not gold diggers, just normal every day women who want a normal every day man. Not a rich one, but one who can carry his own weight, plus be a responsible provider to any potential offspring.

You don't want to call it gold-digging? Fine. But people are still in here hunting for 'upgrades'. Sorry, but offspring has very little to do with it when you are in the 45+ year old market, and the kids are grown and pretty much gone, and NObody is looking to raise another child -- women are STILL hunting for higher-income-than-themselves upgrades. Doesn't matter if the lady is a Nanny or a C.E.O.

For many, it really doesn't matter if the guy has been managing to take care of himself on his own for a decade or two on half the money she makes - it's a status symbol thing that they want. Guys who live in a dump because they bought fancy cars, boats and cycles and other toys through the ears still catch a ladies' eye first - because personality is secondary to first impressions - all day, every day.

It's not so much the hunting for higher status that is the problem - it's the collective brainwashing that anything even slightly inferior MUST be repulsive. Telling a lady to look for a guy that's shorter than six feet doesn't mean demanding they date a guy that's 5' 2" - but that's the conclusion that gets drawn - because motivational phrases like "Never Settle" and "Seek Your Potential" and "You are better than that" have been bombarded onto their egos since they were a child. Millenial guys and and the younger generations of Men are no different. That kind of stuff has a direct effect on their personality. People love to see themselves as decent, salt-of-the-earth people, but put them in a room of rural farmers of all shapes and sizes who still have manure stuck to their boots - and watch their faces change.

"It's not so much the hunting for higher status that is the problem - it's the collective brainwashing that anything even slightly inferior MUST be repulsive." - - and our President is pretty much the spokes model for that fallacy.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 35
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 8:53:17 AM

PBA: "The same way men look at women for sexual attraction, women take income into consideration. No not gold diggers, just normal every day women who want a normal every day man. Not a rich one, but one who can carry his own weight, plus be a responsible provider to any potential offspring."

SD: "You don't want to call it gold-digging? Fine. But people are still in here hunting for 'upgrades'. Sorry, but offspring has very little to do with it when you are in the 45+ year old market, and the kids are grown and pretty much gone, and NObody is looking to raise another child -- women are STILL hunting for higher-income-than-themselves upgrades. Doesn't matter if the lady is a Nanny or a C.E.O.

For many, it really doesn't matter if the guy has been managing to take care of himself on his own for a decade or two on half the money she makes - it's a status symbol thing that they want. Guys who live in a dump because they bought fancy cars, boats and cycles and other toys through the ears still catch a ladies' eye first - because personality is secondary to first impressions - all day, every day.

It's not so much the hunting for higher status that is the problem - it's the collective brainwashing that anything even slightly inferior MUST be repulsive. Telling a lady to look for a guy that's shorter than six feet doesn't mean demanding they date a guy that's 5' 2" - but that's the conclusion that gets drawn - because motivational phrases like "Never Settle" and "Seek Your Potential" and "You are better than that" have been bombarded onto their egos since they were a child. Millenial guys and and the younger generations of Men are no different. That kind of stuff has a direct effect on their personality. People love to see themselves as decent, salt-of-the-earth people, but put them in a room of rural farmers of all shapes and sizes who still have manure stuck to their boots - and watch their faces change.

"It's not so much the hunting for higher status that is the problem - it's the collective brainwashing that anything even slightly inferior MUST be repulsive." - - and our President is pretty much the spokes model for that fallacy".



But people are still in here hunting for 'upgrades'
People who have criteria that are slightly flexible have every right to do so, (even those who are unrealistic- that is their right as well) but those who are constantly looking for an upgrade & cannot commit to a relationship, that is a whole other thread (IMO)


Sorry, but offspring has very little to do with it when you are in the 45+ year old market
The "urge to merge" is a primitive instinct found in the brain stem, is primordial, evolutionary & has nothing to do w/ age. Cognitively, just because a person doesn't wish to reproduce, they still cannot alter the evolution millions of years of DNA.

BTW, SD, you did not address one part of my post...

The same way men look at women for sexual attraction

I would love to hear your thoughts & experiences on my above & below comments.

Don't you have criteria? Don't you like attractive women? Or did you sign up on Match to meet The Ugliest Girl In Town? (not meaning to marginalize women)

What do YOU look for when browsing online profiles?
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU IN YOUR SEARCH :0)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 36
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 12:10:05 PM

It's not so much the hunting for higher status that is the problem - it's the collective brainwashing that anything even slightly inferior MUST be repulsive. Telling a lady to look for a guy that's shorter than six feet doesn't mean demanding they date a guy that's 5' 2" - but that's the conclusion that gets drawn -



Don't you have criteria? Don't you like attractive women? Or did you sign up on Match to meet The Ugliest Girl In Town?

Case proven. Thank you.

Of course I like attractive women. I'm 46, I'm not dead. But I guarantee swiping through 'Meet Me' or Tinder or Bumble or any one of a dozen other dating sites I'm still willing to give approval to a helluva lot more potentials than the ladies around me.

Ugly people come in all kinds of wrappings. Some are very flashy, fit and attractive. What makes people stupid about it is when they refuse to realize just how many people they dismiss at face value to determine their version of the dating 'scene'. It's kind of like when an accountant tries to help people realize the obscene amount of money we spend on cigarettes, fast food and shoes. The numbers don't lie - yet we convince ourselves we 'need' these things because our habits are too hard to break.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 37
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/29/2018 12:56:25 PM
SD, everyone has CRITERIA, You have yours, they have theirs.

You are attractive, intelligent etc. great pic/smile. I do not know why you're still on here! (not meant as a put down, rather a compliment)

Yes, many people have crazy, unreal standards...must make $XYZ per year...$XYZ-1 is unacceptable. Must be 5ft 8 1/2, 5ft 8 is not acceptable. Those people probably pass by great matches. You dodged a bullet then w/ avoiding a rigid, unrealistic person.

The thing is (again, not meant as put down) what are your standards? Do you think that maybe you could be doing what you think others have done?


Of course I like attractive women. I'm 46, I'm not dead. But I guarantee swiping through 'Meet Me' or Tinder or Bumble or any one of a dozen other dating sites I'm still willing to give approval to a helluva lot more potentials than the ladies around me.

Ugly people come in all kinds of wrappings. Some are very flashy, fit and attractive. What makes people stupid about it is when they refuse to realize just how many people they dismiss at face value to determine their version of the dating 'scene'.


Totally agree.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 38
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 12:02:24 AM
Guys are always trying to trade up on looks, and money. Sometimes the $ trade up is more obvious. These guys tend to brag about how their gfs have money, whether thru the girl's own hard work or the girl's family has money.

It's unrealistic to think both people in a couple will make the same money. It doesn't mean the person making less is a gold digger. Don't forget that men still predominantly have higher paying jobs, and get paid more for doing the same job.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 39
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 5:46:13 AM

Guys are always trying to trade up on looks, and money.

I disagree that guys (no more than women) ALWAYS look to trade up, however on an online dating site (esp. among our age bracket), financials are a consideration for many.


Sometimes the $ trade up is more obvious. These guys tend to brag about how their gfs have money, whether thru the girl's own hard work or the girl's family has money.

I have an in-law who would often talk about his wife's family in terms of money & found it obnoxious. It made him look foolish too, bec. they really did not have as much as he made them out to have. He also did not know the financial background of the audience he bragged to ;0D


It's unrealistic to think both people in a couple will make the same money.

This is an extremely valid point. +1,000,000
Men choose primarily by sexual attraction (in general), women (in general) for the whole package when looking for a more serious relationship. When it's a hook-up, it's all about chemistry.


It doesn't mean the person making less is a gold digger.

Correct, the man chose the woman bec. he found her attractive/pleasant, not because she had her 401 K & her last 3 years Tax Returns tattooed on her forehead.


Don't forget that men still predominantly have higher paying jobs, and get paid more for doing the same job.

Another great point, as homogeneous groups, men will earn more than women. In general, in established couples, the man will more than often earn more than the woman.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 40
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 6:10:08 AM

The thing is (again, not meant as put down) what are your standards? Do you think that maybe you could be doing what you think others have done?

I've mentioned this story a few times... doing a generic local search as a female looking for men, based on height alone. Men listed themselves as above-average height way more than 50% of the time - I've seen it skewed as much as 87% taller. What are other guys doing? They are lying. Why do they lie? Sure, there are plenty of reasons - but women refuse to believe their 'demand' for a taller man has anything to do with it - when it is probably the KEY reason. Getting attention online is nearly impossible anymore for someone ordinary or average, but the people searching still fully believe they are entitled to lock in their searches to the extraordinary only. I've faked my height, income and other things from time to time, and guess what? It's true. Getting 'pings' from searches nearly doubles sometimes.

What should I be doing? Doubling my income? Reducing 50% my weight? Spend $200K and six months in intense pain betting bone extensions in my legs? Sure. No problem. Must be a piece of cake for a guy with no kids over 45. (That was sarcasm) I WORK for a living - long hours on an odd shift, so even owning a dog is a difficult proposition.

Do you know what I wish others would do? Accept me. As I am. I'm so freakin' sick of showing up for a first date and seeing that, "Who farted?" look on their face. I'm not a phony. I'm not going to be who you WANT or THINK I should be. It's time to learn that having potential in a relationship isn't about what you believe a person should have in that first impression. I'm tired of being expected to perform to unreasonable expectations for no better reason than their own insecurity. I'm tired of making ALL the first moves and being judged silently with no feedback. I'm not dead - but I'm also not 26 and willing to do nearly anything to get laid.

Having dating criteria is fine - but complaining about what you have found when you refuse to even look at 95% of who is out there is not seeing the forest because of the trees. That's not something I can change about myself.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 41
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 6:38:56 AM

I WORK for a living -long hours on an odd shift, so even owning a dog is a difficult proposition.

I think this may cause issues for you in dating. My 1st husband worked for the Railroad & liked the 2nd & 3rd shift, plus weekends & Holidays. It was awful for me having to be alone w/ our 2 children most of the time. Finding a woman who works similar hours or who is available when you are is not an easy feat, but would probably work.


Do you know what I wish others would do? Accept me. As I am. I'm so freakin' sick of showing up for a first date and seeing that, "Who farted?" look on their face. I'm not a phony. I'm not going to be who you WANT or THINK I should be. It's time to learn that having potential in a relationship isn't about what you believe a person should have in that first impression. I'm tired of being expected to perform to unreasonable expectations for no better reason than their own insecurity. I'm tired of making ALL the first moves and being judged silently with no feedback. I'm not dead - but I'm also not 26 and willing to do nearly anything to get laid.

Very well put, I wonder if you take what you just said & toned it down just a tad & made it into part of your profile, what would happen? I can empathize w/ you. When I did OLD on & off for years, I had similar experiences. So did others who shared their experiences w/ me. I don't know why, if it was a difficult age (many people are parents at that point actively raising children) As I got older, things sure changed for me, but that didn't make those years of frustration any easier :0(


Having dating criteria is fine - but complaining about what you have found when you refuse to even look at 95% of who is out there is not seeing the forest because of the trees.

I agree. Sadly, this may be the nature of OLD. In that case, you may do better to look to meet women IRL.
Best of luck to you, SD. I really wish I had an answer for you, as you deserve a happy relationship.
 bizzmanmatt
Joined: 11/25/2017
Msg: 42
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:35:32 AM
OP I've done Match a few years and POF a couple months. There's some validity to a certain percentage of women being caught up on height and income. Height seems to be much more important to the masses. The thing I find so hilarious is the percentage of women out there who's 5'2 and under that want a man over 6'. Well if they are busy taking the men over 6+, many women over 5'10 are sure to be left out in the cold, or just decide to date shorter.

The whole income level thing is a pandora's box but I would say the vast majority don't care about the actual number on the W-2 form. It's more a matter of can he support a certain criteria she's looking for. Most women most likely are happy with a man that can support himself first. Some women that do well financially will take a man that doesn't even work if he offers enough other intangibles, I've seen it happen. And the couple look good together physically. Yes, most big city-suburbs girls that looks like a swimsuit model and probably been to the plastic surgeon a few times is likely going to gauge income and assets first and foremost until her aging process gets noticeable and her demand level goes down. Most these women are cruel, lonely, mental headcases, and generally miserable and their relationships never last. But that's a very small %. But it's also a very small % that don't care at all if the man even works so you have everything in between.

My guess by reading a couple of your theories is, you're trying to date online your social status equal, or better. That's fine; but on POF, or any dating website, the men far out number the women and the better looking women receive a ton of unwanted messages. So it usually takes dipping down a couple levels for a guy to keep a woman's interest on here. ie, heavier women, annoying women, rough hygiene women, average plain jane women, mental health issues, substance abuse issues, has several kids issues, women further away you have to travel to b/c no ones within 100 miles of them etc. There's virtually no chance of keeping someone interested long term that everyone else is trying to talk to also.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 43
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:45:38 AM

So it usually takes dipping down a couple levels for a guy to keep a woman's interest on here. ie, heavier women, annoying women, rough hygiene women, average plain jane women, mental health issues, substance abuse issues, has several kids issues, women further away you have to travel to b/c no ones within 100 miles of them etc.


You are smart as a whip. It boils down to the law of supply & demand. I am curious, if you are so inclined to answer, what do you do for a living?

If I were looking to invest $ in an individual you certainly would be a candidate. Alas, I am not wealthy!
 DINNO76
Joined: 1/22/2018
Msg: 44
Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 10:11:01 AM
Bizz you described over 90% of the women on this dating site.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 45
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 11:11:17 AM

The thing I find so hilarious is the percentage of women out there who's 5'2 and under that want a man over 6'. Well if they are busy taking the men over 6+, many women over 5'10 are sure to be left out in the cold, or just decide to date shorter.

I find a large percentage of women on Bumble are listing above-average height - say, 5' 8" or taller - so I'm sure there is a supply and demand problem
.
Then again, a few of the ladies that I've recognized in real life are NOT that height unless on platform heels - so women lying about height to land a taller guy is not out the question as well.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 46
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 3:23:14 PM
I had a tall female acquaintance say shorter women should not date taller men so there's more men for them. I get it, but it's absurd. I'm not turning away a guy because he's tall. But more than that, it's a man's choice to choose who he wants to date, and it may not be a tall woman. You can't force a tall man to date a tall woman.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 47
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 5:59:12 PM

But more than that, it's a man's choice to choose who he wants to date, and it may not be a tall woman. You can't force a tall man to date a tall woman.

Funny. Choice? As in - more than one? Tall men get to choose from a few potentials - sure - so long as they have already met enough checkpoints of ladies' attractiveness criteria. What about the other 95% of men that can't get a woman's attention short of lighting themselves on fire? Their 'Choice' is to go out with whomever bothers to make contact, or stay home. A huge portion of women just don't get it. Online, even the most 'Plain' of 'Janes' gets a healthy handful of notices and invites. Guys get diddly-squat. ZIP. It's not even remotely a similar experience....

http://jonmillward.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/results-after-7-days-graph.jpg

http://jonmillward.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/results-after-4-months.png

GUYS DON'T GET THE ATTENTION WOMEN GET ONLINE. Please read that again and let it sink in. It's the difference between shooting a bullet - or throwing it. When the numbers are that obscenely skewed, it really doesn't matter what criteria falls into question. Please, please realize that the female and male contexts are NOT interchangeable or equal in any real sense of logic.

Nobody can be forced to date someone they don't deem attractive, so long as we are still living in a democracy with individual freedom. We realize this. Anyone with a brain is not going to question it. What needs to sink in is realizing the absurdity of what we want versus what is really out there. The circumstances if how this system actually works, and just how skewed peoples' idea of what is 'Normal'. Just how much of what is actually out there is dismissed, sight unseen. Money isn't the only criteria to be questioned - not by a long shot.

"Never Give Up."
"Never Settle."
So long as we keep moving forward, we must be doing something right -- never mind that we just ran over a busload of children a few miles back.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 48
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 6:31:44 PM

Bizz you described over 90% of the women on this dating site.


98.3% to be exact.


the obscene amount of money we spend on cigarettes, fast food and shoes.


"We"?

Me:


cigarettes


$0.


fast food


3 tacos for $1.29 Taco Tuesdays at Del Taco.
$1.99 chili dog AND fries at Wienerschnitzel with coupon (gasp)
Ordering off the 1, 2, 3 menu at McDonalds.


shoes.


$20.00 a shot with coupon at Big 5.


The numbers don't lie


No, they don't .
But mine are hardly obscene.


- yet we convince ourselves we 'need' these things because our habits are too hard to break.


Well, I DO need to eat, and I DO see signs that say "No shirt, no shoes, no service", so......


What are other guys doing? They are lying.


And doing very well with that. (not an endorsement)


Why do they lie?


Because women do such a sterling job of falling for the lies.


What do YOU look for when browsing online profiles?


The looks of Sofia Vergara with the soul of Mother Teresa.


BEST OF LUCK TO YOU IN YOUR SEARCH :0)


I sorely need it.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 49
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:36:17 PM
What are you trying to say, Dan:) From much communication from messages from men on pof, there's a lot of crap to weed thru. All these men contacting women, they would be equivalent to those women the men don't want to date. No one has to rely on OLD. Now that is the real problem, men not being motivated to meet women IRL. If men want to continue to rely on what's not working for them, I don't know what to say. You know that saying about doing the same thing repeatedly, thinking the results will be different.


FMG, Ooooh, 3 tacos for $1.29, I'll have to look into that! Never been to Del Taco. Site says 2 free grilled chicken tacos for joining their eclub. https://www.deltaco.com
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 50
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Match.com: All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/30/2018 11:58:54 PM

shorter women should not date taller men


Hell no.....
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