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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 251
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Act old, be oldPage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
<< is now in deep thought ....
wondering if I fit that Madonna/Whore type?!!

what are the qualifications for the Madonna part? LOL
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 252
take what you are offered, or wait forever for perfection
Posted: 6/15/2018 8:01:32 PM
I will admit, I miss cruise control for the long drives, but I have a stick shift. THAT makes everything but traffic fun :) but it would be nice having my turbo t-bird back---4 cylinder economy, power everything, and the turbo for...well I've talked about it before, it was the early turbo that didn't kick in until after 3,000 RPM. I did nearly catch a creampuff of an old man car, 1986 Chevy Caprice 35K miles and so damned clean it was impossible to believe. but the executor of the estate never returned my phone call. I could have settled for the automatic transmission on the column it had, that's how showroom fresh it was. it was the unicorn every car fan finds once in their life. But I guess my T-bird was it--cost me a grand, gave me 100,000 miles with barely a prob. and we have corners around here like Texas has straightaways--my luxury car needs swaybars :)

If I decided i'd never be a friend who listened to a woman talk about her sex life, then i'd never have company :) I tried that policy, so I know that's a fact--i'm not the guy beautiful women want to jump in bed with and I accept that, but I am who they want to hang out with. I'm relaxed, non-judgemental, but still want a good time and talk a lot. The best chances I had at meeting women i was attracted to yet found me attractive was when i searched the entire country via the Internet (which gets us back to how much work needs to be done to get a date or get laid). Now at my age, the beautiful women who would want to date me, are already married. I've chased women since I was too young to know what sex was, but sure knew I wanted to touch and be touched. And my two friends in school, they were attractive and didn't have to work it--girls already came up and asked them what they were doing after school. But they and i were alike in every other way but looks. Just like with cars, Henry, you're taller than I, so your experiences are different, lol :)

But I was reminded tonight, of one of the arguments NY made about the value of relationships. Went to a car show at the other side of the state, one where the old city closes down main street. Sat too long in traffic (hence the comment above), and decided no reason to rush home for dinner at 9pm, might as well eat there. So, went into this neat little pizzeria ('cause my home state kicks ass when it comes to thin slice :) )

https://www.sassoscoalfired.com/

and sit down next to this little Italian couple who can best be described as bon vivants. The wife introduces herself, we chat up a storm about fav places and how we're all new to this place so we hope the food will be good and they get their pie before me, so they let me have a slice and then I get mine as they are leaving so I offer them a slice in return and the wife takes pictures of her food so she asks to take one of my pizza and me, "her new friend". THAT experience would have been nice to have shared with a friend of mine, but I was alone as usual. I do remember back in the day when people sat in a small restaurant and talked to strangers rather than bury a face in a cellphone.

Micki, I always thought the simple definition of "Madonna" was the gal you could take home to mom, the crazy broad you just brought home. Personally, I only dated one crazy woman, and she just lay there in bed. Until I tried to leave, and then she wrapped herself around my neck like a cape while I went down the stairs. I think i'm waaay too relaxed for the crazy women Henry talks about to find me attractive. I don't share their mindset in the least. I get more of the sensual bon vivant saphiophile types.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 253
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i'd beg for relief on my knees, but then i'd have to get back up again
Posted: 6/15/2018 8:23:00 PM

That was nice of you to help your friend out. About a woman in a relationship being a caregiver (or a man in my case), you never know if your partner is gonna die first, but of course there are other reasons for a relationship. Good luck with your heart attack in old age☺ I wish the same for myself, but I have a feeling it's not gonna go down that way for either of us. Still, we'll deal with illness when it comes, like we deal with life now.

It's a definite to not meet anyone if you never put yourself out there, though. I liken dating to applying for a job. You have to put a lot of effort in for a good outcome. I don't come from a very social or outgoing family. When my brother broke up with his gf, I told him go out and do what you enjoy and meet someone that way. His funny response was the person is going to have to break thru a wall then, to find him doing what he likes to do, which is stay in. He worked in a hospital and met a nurse. They're together 20 years now.


Depends on what you're used to. My example, is me.

Starting off, lets say at age 14, girls were noticed. From that starting point until now, is 48 years. The first nine years, I barely said anything more than "excuse me", to girls. I did finally date a woman for about a year. Then, another good long dry spell, a date or two, then I hooked up with another. That lasted about a year. A year later, the one I married, for about 23 years. Then nothing to speak of until now.

All totaled, 23 of 48 years of my dating life was spent being solo. I know how to be solo. I care less about dating now, moreso than I ever did in my younger days. I'm not willing to put the effort into a relationship anymore. There's not many women that do the stuff that I like to do. I'm used to being by myself. At one time, I'd play the games they liked to play. But I also found out that by playing their games, I missed out on my own, and not many wanted to reciprocate, when it was my turn. What I did was too boring. Perhaps the other guys did more interesting things than I did. Must have been why I didn't find the other guys too interesting to be around.

So, I'll deal with it as it comes. Is it any different than to loose a mate late in life, and the surviving spouse gets to fend for themselves?
I just got a head start on it. While I'm still healthy enough.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 254
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Act old, be old
Posted: 6/15/2018 8:49:31 PM

what are the qualifications for the Madonna part? LOL


During her Blonde Ambition tour, Madonna revealed some of the most ambitious outfits of her career. This show-stopping pink cone bra ensemble,
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 255
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Posted: 6/17/2018 10:12:30 AM

MachIMustangII
If I decided i'd never be a friend who listened to a woman talk about her sex life, then i'd never have company

You left out a word: only
It is absolutely fine and acceptable to have a conversation with a woman about her sex life. I approve, have done so many times, plan to do so many more times. But at some point I’m going to step up, point out how I could enhance her “sex life”, and offer to do so. Being a “eunuch”, being “safe”, someone she can talk to about her sex life with no worries that you will ever come on to her as a result – that sucks. That I will not do.

The situation is slightly different if it’s a married woman. I will be friends, talk with, have conversations about sex with attractive married women who are never going to sleep with me. But they are flirting, it is a “sexually charged” conversation, and we both enjoy it and know that it will go no further. The difference? They are not treating me as a eunuch.



I do remember back in the day when people sat in a small restaurant and talked to strangers rather than bury a face in a cellphone.

Careful there, my friend. You’re starting to sound like a grumpy old man. “You kids get off my lawn!”

And yes, you’ve mentioned that Caprice before. That would have made a very nice road car.

Back about 5 years ago, I found a 2006 DeVille at a Cadillac dealership. One owner, garage kept, 36k miles. They showed me the original title, a woman bought it new at the same dealership, and traded it in after 7 or 8 years for another new Cadillac at the same dealership. Clean Carfax, beautiful red paint (not sun faded, kept in a garage), perfect white leather upholstery. I’m fairly certain that no one had ever sat in the back seat. When I pulled the bottom cushion to check the battery, there was nothing under there. No cookie crumbs, no scraps of paper, nothing.

It did cost me, $10.5 cash, but it was worth it, I really enjoyed that car.

And yes, MsMicki, MachI is right about the Madonna thing. “The gal you could take home to mom.”
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 256
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Posted: 6/17/2018 2:32:55 PM

And yes, MsMicki, MachI is right about the Madonna thing. “The gal you could take home to mom.”


then the Madonna type would be very subjective as to the kind of Mom one has!!
You have your 1950's type Mom who is far more judgmental....and you have your Gen X type Mom's who are far more open-minded and accepting...
and probably also directly related to the region you live in....a big city Mom might be more accepting of let's say a Goth type gal than a small town southern Mom would be....
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 257
Act old, be old
Posted: 6/17/2018 4:46:06 PM
"But at some point I’m going to step up, point out how I could enhance her “sex life”,"

>>>you think she doesn't already know? :) My female best friend, for example, luuuuuvvvves herself a narcistic man. She's more than happy to have lousy sex, just to win over a man who doesn't want her (which is typically one of the reasons the sex is bad), and she knows i'm not even close to that guy. She may know it subconsciously or unconsciously, but she knows I'm not the lover she wants. Most of my female friends in life are women I asked out, and I know they know what'd happen if they only asked. The exception is a friend's wife, even if she was single I wouldn't be interested. But there are "aware" women, who are beautiful and its not arrogant to say they know the effect they have on men. but there are other women who come here to post they just aren't sure if some guy out of their league is interested, and what exactly he's interested in.

I know what you meant about flirting with married women, I've done it with coworkers (oh no!) and we all knew the barriers, which made it more safe, and thus more fun. But, don't worry, when it comes to being a eunuch, i'm not the one setting it up--they set it up from the start. The body language, everything else, says it. I can play by their rules,or I can take a walk, and there's no third choice--i'm not the only guy they can hang with. i'm sure i'm not the only dude who's met a woman who made her interests clear, and he could decide if he wanted the glass half full or lose the glass entirely.

I will confess, I stay away from Lincolns and Cadillacs just b/c the price of parts--I used to work with a fellow who loved the Lincoln Continental LSC (pretty similar to my Turbo bird, other than the drivetrain. But similar interior room, leather seats, automatic climate control, headlight dimmer, blah blah blah), and while his Linc had the same engine as in my Mustang GT that came after my Tbird, the repairs cost more. A fully loaded Caprice, Olds or Buick might not impress like a Cadillac, but inside the car and behind the wheel....I might not even notice the diff. Maybe a little more chrome and interior lighting :) But one day i'll go big, and try a Cad or a Linc and then i'll know for sure.

but for sure, everyone should try a full-on luxury car once in life, to know how driving can be. and if it has a performance set up so it doesn't wallow in the corners, so much the better.

"Careful there, my friend. You’re starting to sound like a grumpy old man. “You kids get off my lawn!”

>>>honestly....I think I understand the viewpoint that makes them talk like that. I still remember viewing the world as a horny young man, looking to compete and looking for attention, but I've also adopted the weltgeist of old folk I grew up around.

"then the Madonna type would be very subjective as to the kind of Mom one has!! You have your 1950's type Mom who is far more judgmental....and you have your Gen X type Mom's who are far more open-minded and accepting..."


>>>you forgot an 1960's flower hippy mom. but you are so true, and of course, there's the "rural values" and the Roman Catholic standards and the Jewish guilt and the...well, you get the idea.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 258
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Older men's expectations
Posted: 6/21/2018 7:13:24 PM
No, fullmoon. All of this did not happen on day one.....these things started after we had been together for a year....and the behavior escalated.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 259
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Posted: 6/21/2018 8:06:14 PM

MachIMustangII
I will confess, I stay away from Lincolns and Cadillacs just b/c the price of parts--I used to work with a fellow who loved the Lincoln Continental LSC (pretty similar to my Turbo bird, other than the drivetrain. But similar interior room, leather seats, automatic climate control, headlight dimmer, blah blah blah), and while his Linc had the same engine as in my Mustang GT that came after my Tbird, the repairs cost more. A fully loaded Caprice, Olds or Buick might not impress like a Cadillac, but inside the car and behind the wheel....I might not even notice the diff. Maybe a little more chrome and interior lighting :) But one day i'll go big, and try a Cad or a Linc and then i'll know for sure.

but for sure, everyone should try a full-on luxury car once in life, to know how driving can be. and if it has a performance set up so it doesn't wallow in the corners, so much the better.



The last Cadillac I owned, the 2006 one owner Deville that I mentioned previously – the thing that pushed me to get rid of it was the slow leaks in the chrome wheels. I tried, repeatedly, to get those wheels sealed up, couldn’t be done. I was considering buying new aftermarket wheels, but by then I was ready for something new anyway, and I was really fed up with having to air up the tires twice a week. Not flat, just low. Put in 34 psi, and 3 days later they would be at 27 or 28.

And it’s hard to find aftermarket wheels that don’t detract from the appearance of a Cadillac. The only ones I liked were about $2k for the set, and I wasn’t willing to do that.

Tomorrow is my Friday off. I am going to go drive a new Mustang GT Premium with the V8 and the 6 speed manual, see how my knee gets along with the clutch. Who knows, I might have a new car tomorrow evening. I already know that I at least fit in a modern Mustang. I test drove one a couple of years ago, but that was an automatic. I’m thinking now I might want to own one last manual transmission, fun car.

And no, this has absolutely nothing to do with women or dating or anything even remotely related. But there are other fun things in life besides the opposite sex...

On edit: No, this does not mean I am giving up on women, or turning into PR, or anything crazy like that.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 260
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Posted: 6/21/2018 9:07:40 PM
I have a Mustang, 2013, stick, and love it. The front doesn't sit too low, and it's easy to get in and out of, unlike a vette.

Nothing like that floaty suspension on an old Cadi.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 261
Older men's expectations
Posted: 6/22/2018 6:03:01 AM
My 2007 truck slow leaks at its rims, too, and to change the tires means changing the TPS (which has gone off since 30K miles, and two dealerships said there was no fixing it) as well. Back when I had a working air compressor, the solution was obvious, but now its tank has water and I have another vehicle....so that solution's obvious, too :) take it for a ride into town to charge the battery and air up the tire.

Good luck with the Mustang. Took my older car to a car show in a city (typically feels 10 degrees higher on the pavement and concrete), sat in traffic too long and every car was hitting 200+ degrees and some piddled on the pavement (one of the reasons to not bring a dog to a car show, yet people insist....). But a modern car from a dealership, no mods, isn't going to do that in yesterday's weather (Wasn't even 90 degrees, but was humid), so I have to say, I get more and more willing to recommend a new muscle car every day. Good luck, I hope you find a car you love. we spend so much time in our cars, why not enjoy the ride...literally.

Women can say yes or no, but a car does what we "expect" it to :)
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 262
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Posted: 6/22/2018 6:48:12 PM
The main expectation I have is that a woman must accept me at face value for who and what I am, not expect me to become a 'picture' of who and what she really wants in a partner at the expense of my own real genuine identity as a person.

Because all of us in our age group have 'baggage' in one form or another (normally children from a previous relationship whether they live with us or not [mine don't]) women have to accept that we all have a lot of previous life experience and it's not always nice, so we very quickly and often will set up roadblocks because we see 'flaggable' issues triggering as the 'getting to know you more' process goes along.

I'm sure women do exactly the same sort of thing, but how women approach it might be different because of the vast gulf between the average male and female psyche.

BTW I drive a 26 year old diesel Toyota landcruiser 80 series (aka Lexus LX450) and own a few similarly old European cars that are ongoing restoration projects. The 4wd and two of the three cars are manual gearbox jobs (ie. 'stick' shift). Auto's are for lazy people. ;-)
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 263
Older men's expectations
Posted: 6/22/2018 7:04:28 PM
"Women can say yes or no, but a car does what we "expect" it to :)"

With the push in automotive technology for electric cars and self-driving cars, will there someday be an Indy 500 major race featuring electric and/or self-driving cars?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 264
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Posted: 6/22/2018 7:55:41 PM
Mustang, cars do what they're expected to? And what would that be? Where is fullmoonguy to tell you it's your fault that you have a bad picker?


Zona, that statement about accept me as I am, that's a red flag. It means something is fvcked up. Accept what exactly?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 265
driving ambition
Posted: 6/23/2018 6:24:54 AM
I was going to tease Henry a bit b/c he's a Mopar man seeking a Ford, but I have two old Mustangs so I can't be a hypocrite either :)

"will there someday be an Indy 500 major race featuring electric and/or self-driving cars?"

>>>Indianapolis used to be all about the technology, while other races made their cars so similar, they became more about the drivers...so I think self driving cars won't get much traction (heh), but electric...

https://www.foxsports.com/motor/story/electric-indianapolis-500-could-it-happen-by-2030-040615

As for automatic transmissions, the one I have has to be shifted, so its more fun. Palm it into Neutral (it has a safety lockout so it won't go past into Reverse) and coast up to a stoplight, as the idle changes. Look at the traffic light for the cross traffic, and when it goes yellow, i'm up at bat if my light doesn't have a left turn-only lane. Backslap the shifter down all the gears to First, feel the car twist up against the brakes like a runner tensing their muscles before the gunshot...and i'm probably the only car nerd who even notices :) one day i'll try a paddle shift, but probably in a video game.

as for wanting a woman to accept us for who we are, i'd love that, but we have to present to the customer what they want to buy. not what we wish they'd validate. still, if we want to be loved, we have to walk past all the hotties to find the one who accepts us. women who want us to be something, will tend to find the guy who changes after the honeymoon is over...except he didn't change into something, he changed out of something.

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 266
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driving ambition
Posted: 6/23/2018 8:44:51 PM

MachIMustangII
But a modern car from a dealership, no mods, isn't going to do that in yesterday's weather (Wasn't even 90 degrees, but was humid), so I have to say, I get more and more willing to recommend a new muscle car every day. Good luck, I hope you find a car you love. we spend so much time in our cars, why not enjoy the ride...literally.

Thanks for the good wishes. I liked the Mustang, did not like the clutch. Or I should say my left knee didn’t like it. I’m thinking I may go back for another test drive, this time with an automatic. Maybe.

Or just maybe, a 2 or 3 year old Genesis R-Spec with the 420 horsepower V8. That might be pretty neat as well.


MachIMustangII
Women can say yes or no, but a car does what we "expect" it to :)

One of my standard jokes, and I don’t think I’ve ever told it here. People ask me how I got into computers, and why I’ve been doing this for so long. I tell them how at the age of 17 (50 years ago) I learned that computers do EXACTLY what you tell them to do. No ifs, ands or buts. And given the same instructions, they will do exactly the same thing, every time, no exception. And then for the punch line, “I have spent the last 50 years looking for a woman who will do the same!”

And yes, that is a joke, so all of you women put down those guns, knifes, and pitchforks!


MachIMustangII
I was going to tease Henry a bit b/c he's a Mopar man seeking a Ford, but I have two old Mustangs so I can't be a hypocrite either :)

I was rather expecting that. But truth be told, in this modern day and age, I no longer trust Mopar. They have changed hands too many times. Is it a Mercedes? Or a Fiat? Or a ??? (what week is this, anyway?)

And yes, I own a Chrysler Town and Country minivan. It is the most practical, useful vehicle I have ever owned. I looked at Honda and Toyota, but the stow-and-go middle seats sold me on the Chrysler.

I presently have the 2016 Town and Country, and a 2017 F150 with the twin turbo 2.7L V6. And let me tell you, I LOVE that twin turbo V6. Which doesn’t mean that I won’t give it up for the 460 horsepower Mustang GT. Priorities, after all.


MachIMustangII
women who want us to be something, will tend to find the guy who changes after the honeymoon is over...except he didn't change into something, he changed out of something.

The woman whom I sometimes look back on as the love of my life – possibly I look back and think that because she was the “one who got away”? Anyway, that woman, from back when I was 25 years old and madly in love. She wanted me to “be something”. I had a good job, and I got to play with computers, and I was happy with that. But she wanted a man who would amount to something, who was going somewhere. And she threw me over, and found her such a man. And he did go somewhere, and amount to something. I often wonder if it made her happy?
 AshCarol
Joined: 6/22/2018
Msg: 267
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Posted: 6/26/2018 2:34:21 PM
Sometimes it's just good to tell someone an experience that feels way out there to us. I've had a few in my short time online dating. Congratulations all of you who are looking for casual sex online. Enjoy! Too bad dating sites don't care to separate matches that way. No more questionable emails and no more wasting your time for those that are looking for a hookup. I'm a stranger in a strange land. forgive me.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 268
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Posted: 6/26/2018 3:08:39 PM

I'm a stranger in a strange land.


You're not the only one.

This whole place is a strange land.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 269
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Posted: 6/26/2018 3:41:19 PM

Sometimes it's just good to tell someone an experience that feels way out there to us. I've had a few in my short time online dating. Congratulations all of you who are looking for casual sex online. Enjoy! Too bad dating sites don't care to separate matches that way. No more questionable emails and no more wasting your time for those that are looking for a hookup. I'm a stranger in a strange land. forgive me.


This isn't directed just for you Carol...
but I see this all time and it makes me wonder if any of you date outside of online....because there are just as many guys/gals looking just for a hookup in the real world!!
Players have been around long before online dating....and there are still plenty out there playing the same ole' games!!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 270
Older men's expectations
Posted: 6/26/2018 7:02:13 PM

The main expectation I have is that a woman must accept me at face value


The pinching a loaf face?

Gawd she better have a 12 pack of Charmin handy at all times!

LMFAO
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 271
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Posted: 6/26/2018 11:08:48 PM
Got a message from an older man whose headline read "Looking for smart girl."
He asked for our first meeting to be at his house at 2am.

Of course, I said no, being a "smart girl" and all.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 272
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Posted: 6/26/2018 11:48:55 PM
Cinnamon, this place is full of predators, then men wonder why most women require men to show us who they really are before we want to meet them or get physical on dates. 2am? He probably had a saw and duct tape handy.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 273
Older men's expectations
Posted: 6/27/2018 7:08:57 AM
Yes. Ready to slit your throat beneath the pale moonlight, bang your dead body, then throw it in a dumpster predators are ALL OVER POF.

Yet the whiney "victim only in their own mind" broads will never leave it behind. Why? Because they'll have one less thing to complain about.

Then they'll spend the rest of their lives wondering why there are so many men who don't want a relationship with them. :roll:
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 274
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Posted: 6/27/2018 11:13:07 AM

Posted By: ReverendSwine on 6/27/2018 9:08:57 AM
Subject: Older men's expectations
Message: Yes. Ready to slit your throat beneath the pale moonlight, bang your dead body, then throw it in a dumpster predators are ALL OVER POF.

Yet the whiney "victim only in their own mind" broads will never leave it behind. Why? Because they'll have one less thing to complain about.

Then they'll spend the rest of their lives wondering why there are so many men who don't want a relationship with them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkwD5rQ-_d4
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 275
driving ambition
Posted: 6/27/2018 3:20:45 PM
"I liked the Mustang, did not like the clutch. Or I should say my left knee didn’t like it. I’m thinking I may go back for another test drive, this time with an automatic. "

>>>it bums me, a longtime stick shift afficiado, to admit what they do now with automatic transmissions makes them worth a look. My broke friend's Mitsibishi Spyder has a man-u-matic that isn't bad, and of course there are paddle shifters now. Some feel a second slow between what your hand does and the kick in the backside from the shift doing its thing to the tires, but still...when I can't "kick and stick" anymore, I won't mind trying a modern automatic. As for Ma Mopar,,,you aren't the only fan, my friend, who wonders WTF is going on over there.

"And he did go somewhere, and amount to something. I often wonder if it made her happy?

>>>Chances are, somewhere, somehow...there was grass greener on the other side of something for her :) we're all just crazy that way. But it was amusing to think a programmer wasn't going someplace, my father was one back in the day and he had a helluva resume at the end of it. if he only parlayed it during Y2K, b/c he had worked just about every programming that had been done in the day and could have had business coming out his ears when he was out of work at that time (he had worked for Control Data and they were going down by then).


"Too bad dating sites don't care to separate matches that way. No more questionable emails and no more wasting your time for those that are looking for a hookup."

>>there are adult website for that, but judging by posts here...there are still people who enter into situations where they are pursuing someone not as interested in them, and in the end complain about "Giving it up too soon" or spending too much on dinner dates.

as for the perpetual victims...sad to say, SOME will always be victims. They'll shine out that Batsignal that says, "I'm vulnerable, i'll fall for anything" that scares off the people who would be good for them, and attracts those looking for the next victim. they have that bad picker (my picker's fine, it just don't get enough work :) ). As a poor example (but its on my mind today so i'll mention it), my friend's daughter had a premature first child, and the result was a daily rollercoaster--shunt in the brain, feeding tube, etc. So now they are searching to make certain the baby doesn't have cerebal palsy and the rest. Why? b/c they're waiting for yet another shoe to drop. My friend wants daily reports, hoping its all going to be good news, and instead she rides the roller coaster. So she's making herself a victim of all the bad news, when she'd be better off just waiting out the next few months to find out whatever is going to inevitably happen.

I can say, from the observation of too many people...if you're out to see what you can get from a relationship (rather than what you can share), then the partner you will feel the most comfortable with...is someone who's also out to get as much out of a relationship as you are. everyone else will either feel too uncomfortable with you, or you won't feel comfortable with them,or they won't offer tit-for-tat right from the start that interests you....and being comfortable with a partner is part of the magic that brings two people together.
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