Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Older men's expectations      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Older men's expectationsPage 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)


Anyone who believes astrology is a science is a fool.

I look on astrology as mostly harmless. Now when Nancy Reagan was influencing her husband, President Reagan, with this nonsense, yeah, not so good. Potentially dangerous.

I’ll tell you what disturbs me more than that. Here in Houston we have a mega-church, led by Joel Osteen. This man is a modern day equivalent of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. He tells his followers that they are “favored by God” because they attend his church. They will “get the good job”, “get the promotion”, win whatever they are trying to win, because those who attend his church are “favored by God”.

I really really believe this is much worse than the harmless preoccupation with astrology that I see around me.

ON EDIT: I am not opposed to religion, for the most part. Anything that helps you make it through the night. But this “favored by God” bull is DANGEROUS.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/16/2018 11:02:09 PM
I have a friend who helps ghostwrites a popular astrology column/site. She talks about she just makes it up on the fly and yet on some level she's a believer . . . a little. It's a mystery.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/16/2018 11:03:57 PM
I do God a Big favor. I don't bother him much.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 54
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 5:33:28 AM

He tells his followers that they are “favored by God” because they attend his church.


Isn't that the basis for pretty much all religions-their religion is superior to all other religions because God favors them the most? You don't hear religious leaders saying that if their followers were to go to some other church/faith, they would have the same chance of going to heaven when they die. Or their quality of life will remain the same regardless of which branch of religion a person chooses. There will always be a sales tactic to draw in the undecided.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 55
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 6:45:40 AM


Here in Houston we have a mega-church, led by Joel Osteen.


When he opened up the doors to his church for evacuees and victims after Hurricane Harvey, a service was held, and they had the unmitigated gall to pull out the collection baskets. The video is on Youtube for anyone who doubts it.

Pure class, he is.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 9:29:13 AM
^^^ Didn't he also not open up the doors initially until there was a backlash on social media?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 57
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 10:43:16 AM

^^^ Didn't he also not open up the doors initially until there was a backlash on social media?


Yes, and there were all sorts of bullshit claims as to why they didn't initially. Now, as much as people complain (and rightfully so) about modern technology (social media, cellphones, etc.) and the damage it does socially, it played a role in uncovering those lies.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 11:02:59 AM
I can't stand that guy. I see people subscribe to his bullsh!t so I watched part of his....sermon/service? He was going on and on about how he bought that bldg at a good price. Not even as a supposedly Christian leader, but just as a person, he was too slow to open his doors.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 3:28:16 PM
Oh yes and the 10 pm movies with someone not even met.. Just because we are older and supposedly liberated does not mean we can be bothered with men who dont want to wine and dine and actually date.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 3:31:53 PM
seki
any newspaper column is nonsense and anyone who takes it seriously it is on them. I know what formula is used and frankly any astrologer who does that is just a "media whore." She may be a good astrologer but how can just a sun sign on the day apply to anyone with a complex art and science that is the long and complex study of astrology?? There are many other planets involved.
I get a little irritated with those who have an opinion on a subject about which they know nothing.
 DrivingHarmony
Joined: 1/7/2018
Msg: 61
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/17/2018 5:00:28 PM

Didn't he also not open up the doors initially until there was a backlash on social media?


^^^That's what I understand. However, he claims the first level of his church was flooded so he did not want to open the doors until that issue was dealt with.

I used to listen to Joel Osteen from time to time, but not anymore. Vaguely reminds me of David Koresh (Waco, Texas.)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 9:55:54 AM
Complete change of subject: As I am unable to start new threads, I often “steal” an existing one for a new subject.

I had another not so great initial meeting last night. The woman did look like her pictures, she was attractive, but there were issues.

She is Chinese, but has been in the States for over 30 years. I tend to be attracted to Chinese women, they always look much younger than their actual age. If they have a secret, I wish they would share it with the rest of us! But I need to get over that, despite many initial meetings over the years, I don’t recall a single second date with a Chinese woman.

Item one, she talked too softly. There was a little bit of an accent, not too bad. And the words were not clearly enunciated. Then, with the soft voice, it was very hard to understand her. But I persevered, I would lean forward and ask her to repeat. Not a deal breaker, but still a negative.

Item two, a little too much interest in financials. We did the usual job interview, 20 question thing. I try to avoid that, but it seems almost impossible to avoid. And she was very interested in my retirement, my benefits, my pension. And she wanted to know all about my house. She even asked if I had pictures. I suspect Clooney will feel vindicated by this, but I have never, not once, had someone ask if I had pictures of my house. My granddaughters, yes, my house, no. Once again, not a deal breaker.

Item three, the issue of intimacy came up. Not brought up by me. She wanted me to know that there were cultural differences, the gist of it being not to expect any for a long time. That was a deal breaker.

The way intimacy came up was unusual. We were exchanging stories about initial meetings gone bad, I told her about the lady who on the initial meeting came to my house to inspect my closets and medicine cabinets to make sure I lived alone. She then told me she had dated or “been with” a man for 8 years, and didn’t find out he was married until after he died.

Me: (flabbergasted) In 8 years, you never went to his house?
Her: Of course, many times.
Me: So they didn’t live together?
Her: Yes, they lived together.
Me: What???
Her: He told me she was his sister, who was invalided, and he took care of her.
Me: And you never met her? She never found out?
Her: She knew, she went along with the story. She would go upstairs whenever I came over.
Me: WTH????
Her: They didn’t like each other, but she was invalided, and he took care of her. So they had this “arrangement”.


 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 10:07:36 AM
Henry...She's looking to wiggle her way into a will.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 10:40:34 AM
when I was dancing a couple nights a week, that sort of interrogation would frequently come up ... one man asked during our first dance what part of town I lived in ... whether I owned or rented ... what I did for a living ... what make, year, etc. car I drove ... whether my jewelry was real or costume! ... I was struggling so hard not to laugh ... men usually run this sort of program if they just want a financial assist but this one was so obviously clueless to the finesse ... finally I jokingly suggested I give him my Social Security number so he could run a credit check ... oddly enough ... we ended up doing marathon phone calls and dating off and on for over ten years while he searched for a wealthier woman ... wonder if he ever captured one ...
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 65
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 11:33:51 AM

She then told me she had dated or “been with” a man for 8 years, and didn’t find out he was married until after he died.

Me: (flabbergasted) In 8 years, you never went to his house?
Her: Of course, many times.
Me: So they didn’t live together?
Her: Yes, they lived together.
Me: What???
Her: He told me she was his sister, who was invalided, and he took care of her.
Me: And you never met her? She never found out?
Her: She knew, she went along with the story. She would go upstairs whenever I came over.
Me: WTH????
Her: They didn’t like each other, but she was invalided, and he took care of her. So they had this “arrangement”.


Henry, how did she find out they had an "arrangement"? Did the wife impart this news to her after the man's death?

I suspect she was not telling you the entire truth, and actually knew he was married. She was just hoping the wife would die first.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 66
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 12:27:53 PM

"You think I'm going to drive to Ohio


LoL yes some people are looney on their expectations, the farthest I’ve driven is about 3 hours to Toronto, I met a woman, who was actually a regular on these forums, we both had our dogs, and met at a dog park she frequented..we hit it off quite well, but the distance just wouldn’t have worked, my last relationship was about a 45 minute drive and even that got that sickening after a year.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 67
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 2:18:47 PM
"I don't recall a single second date with a Chinese woman"

>>you know what they joke, about eating Chinese and wanting more an hour later :)

a year or whatever ago, I was hoping to date a soft talker. Guessing context from every third word I could understand, was good mental exercise. But i'm not looking for a career in programing voice recognition or AI. At least she had an amazing figure for a mother of two--a two piece bikini was no prob whatsoever. Probably why I stuck around too long.

As for "job interview" convos...at the risk of sounding critical, I think that covers up for an inability to converse on other subjects. That could be b/c its dangerous these days to discuss current affairs, talking about weather is boring, and there may be nothing interesting in the physical location for two people to give an opinion on for very long. Some people are not "Renaissance" enough to know a little bit about a lot of different things, and be able to make a conversation go on about any little thing. a long time ago I went to a New Year's Eve party b/c the hostess was a coworker with an amazing rack--and I didn't know another soul there. But I bumped into a Navy man fresh off a tour of the Pacific. I knew enough about each island he stepped on, and he filled in the rest to keep us talking until 1am.

some people are curious enough about their surroundings. the rest, only look at what parts of the world hand something to them, or try to take it away. everyone, when interested in talking, talks about what they know.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 3:35:38 PM
Henry (message 63), my goodness :-). You're very tolerant and patient. The financial thing would have been enough for me. Actually, I think my boredom with the interview aspect of dating was when I decided coffee or dinner buddies was all I was interested in (on my own dime, of course). I do remember being judged for all the things I didn't have. Although I was too polite at the time, I was tempted to let them know that all my stuff is paid for and wanted to ask how about theirs? I've never made a ton of money and in retrospect, I am content with my decision to pay off student loans and house rather than always having the best of everything and having a lot of toys. I haven't wanted for anything in my life and will indulge at times, so I don't feel I out. Every date was uncomfortable with me not having a vehicle. I rent when I need to. It hasn't been often. There were even two dates who cancelled when I told them I didn't have a cell (I took a months-long break because one of my animals needed a couple of surgeries). They told me they weren't interested in someone with financial problems. I merely thanked them for their time.
In terms of the looking younger part, many of that ancestry here will carry an umbrella on sunny days. I have always assumed it was protecting their skin from the sun. Transparently pale folks like me who tried ALL their lives to get a tan - baby oil, foil, tar roof, mirror to reflect sun, tanning beds, tanning accelators ... Yeah, that may not have been my smartest of moves :-). And... Two parents who had skin cancer...let's just say hindsight is 20/20. But I'm still dumb enough to be out in the sun EVERY opportunity I get in the summer. Go figure.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 6:16:30 PM
Ever notice that soft talkers tend to get offended by people that ask them to speak up?

Reminds me of the rift my ex and I had. I've had tinnitus for so long, I don't recall not having it. My ex's voice was at the same sound level, so I missed some of what she said. I made it clear to her that she had to speak up to me, or I wouldn't hear it. Her gripe was that I didn't listen to her. Odd thing on her end-she was deaf in one ear, so I always knew what side to talk at her, so she'd hear me, or I'd just speak up, period. I got blamed often for not listening, often. Yet I never got aggravated over her deafness.

Oh well. I'll let her be a pain in someone else's *ss.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 70
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 6:51:38 PM
A soft talker sounds like a treat, my last Gf was German, she was far from quiet :\
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 7:11:23 PM
I have had the offer of "doing fix up" of things on my to do list. Get all butt hurt when i mention i am able to do it and have a handymak if needed.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 7:20:43 PM
Aint no deal said
[[Women hate 3D movies and hot tubs? Who knew? What about video games and VR? What do women think of that? NETFLIX...?]]

-----seems like a lot of young folks like to do the Netflix and Chill date. But folks 45+, naw ill pass.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/20/2018 7:36:06 PM

Complete change of subject: As I am unable to start new threads, I often “steal” an existing one for a new subject.

I had another not so great initial meeting last night. The woman did look like her pictures, she was attractive, but there were issues.


gotta love a good hijack... but we're still talking 'older folks expectations' right??? ** wink **

the story of soft speaking, deafness and tinnitus resonated so clearly with me.... there have been 'bumps along the way' with my hearing... so this year, did myself a massive "spoiled me" treat and bought ubeaut super sensitive (high thousands$$$) hearing aids this year... (previous years I've succumbed to chunky government supplied numbers)
I gotta say, I'm almost confident about ready to test the dating field with 'clarity'... or ready to test if the blokes still mumble with speech issues... (my life long motto about my artificial ears is - they only amplify, not clarify - )


As for "job interview" convos...at the risk of sounding critical, I think that covers up for an inability to converse on other subjects. That could be b/c its dangerous these days to discuss current affairs, talking about weather is boring, and there may be nothing interesting in the physical location for two people to give an opinion on for very long. Some people are not "Renaissance" enough to know a little bit about a lot of different things, and be able to make a conversation go on about any little thing. a long time ago I went to a New Year's Eve party b/c the hostess was a coworker with an amazing rack--and I didn't know another soul there. But I bumped into a Navy man fresh off a tour of the Pacific. I knew enough about each island he stepped on, and he filled in the rest to keep us talking until 1am.

some people are curious enough about their surroundings. the rest, only look at what parts of the world hand something to them, or try to take it away. everyone, when interested in talking, talks about what they know.


I have to admit GTO, I've thought about this a lot - one of the things that I"ve had to work on in the past... is the art of diplomacy in conversation - participation and sharing... I feel that the more I've worked on myself, the more I've recognised it in others....
the more I've learned, the more I've come to embrace another 'momism' I give my son "Opinions are like farts, everybody has them, some of them stink, and not all have to be shared"....

on an aside... it's one reason I like lurking around in the forums.... I absorb so much here....
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/21/2018 10:49:57 AM

curvylady1965
Henry (message 63), my goodness :-). You're very tolerant and patient. The financial thing would have been enough for me.



They told me they weren't interested in someone with financial problems.

Many of the women that I meet are, if not well off, at least on very solid financial footing. And they do not want a “partner” who would be a financial liability. I understand that, and have no problem with that. I at first thought this woman fell into that category, but wanting to see pictures of my house seemed a little “over the top” to me.

curvylady1965
Every date was uncomfortable with me not having a vehicle. I rent when I need to. It hasn't been often. There were even two dates who cancelled when I told them I didn't have a cell

I have to admit, no car and no cell phone, in this day and age, would make me wonder. I’m not saying “deal breaker”, but definitely a “caution flag”. Not that I would necessarily jump to the conclusion that she was impoverished, but just a general “WTH??”


purplerider1200
Ever notice that soft talkers tend to get offended by people that ask them to speak up?

Yes, I have definitely noticed that. Which is why I try not to do that. But when you have, repeatedly, leaned forward,****d your head and asked, “Could you repeat that?”, you would think they would get the idea. Never seems to happen though.


__TEXASCHICK__
seems like a lot of young folks like to do the Netflix and Chill date. But folks 45+, naw ill pass.


That sorta depends. It is not a good idea for an initial meeting, or the actual first date. But after you’ve been dating a little while, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’ll go even further and say that I would never contemplate a LTR with anyone who wasn’t comfortable with hanging out at my house or hers.

Which doesn’t mean we wouldn’t have “date nights”, just not every time we get together.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Older men's expectations
Posted: 1/21/2018 11:28:25 AM

We were exchanging stories about initial meetings gone bad


Wow! I never go there on a first meeting or later. If someone is persistent on that topic, it becomes a deal breaker. As I said elsewhere, the meal will continue but the date is over.

A Gentleman Never Tells.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Older men's expectations