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 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 26
So many angry single strangersPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If you walked up to a stranger on the street, said hello and when they walked away without saying a word would you get this angry
 DrivingHarmony
Joined: 1/7/2018
Msg: 27
So many angry single people
Posted: 1/21/2018 1:44:10 PM

Most people who have been gone for 7 years and come back will find a radical change.


Well, interestingly enough, for OP - seems OLD has not changed.....

His words:


I see many of the same faces, same pictures, same angry responses to courtesy “thanks but no thanks” replies.


It is what it is..... or as I say in Spanish - just spell SOCKS.
 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 28
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So many angry single people
Posted: 1/21/2018 2:21:40 PM
A lot of people are control freaks and expect a reply straight away.
They feel rejected and get angry.
 sussex11
Joined: 12/24/2017
Msg: 29
So many angry single people
Posted: 1/23/2018 10:07:14 AM
So many angry single people
I did notice this...it puzzles me. Altho, I have never walked in anyone's else's shoes. I wish we could all be fun and loving, but that's not here. So if the heat gets to warm, get out of the kitchen. And, welcome back we have missed you.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 30
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/6/2018 7:40:59 PM
I am noticing many rants towards the opposite sex in the forums lately.

If you hate them, why would you want to date them????
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 31
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/7/2018 2:38:39 PM
Whenever inquiries like this arise, I ask, "Are they angry because they're single or are they single because they're angry?" If it's both, then that's a vicious cycle. Who in their right mind would WANT to date such a person?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 32
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/7/2018 10:14:08 PM
The forums in here, just like some people do with their Facebook or even online dating profiles - is an outlet. People vent. I don't think the posture people show in here is remotely the same to how people behave in public, in real life. We are somewhat anonymous with our identities, so it gives some the license to be verbal or even lash out.

It also gives some the ability to judge without consequence. Many, many assumptions are laid out in these postings with barely a shred of real-life evidence - both from the people ranting, and from the people judging them for being so.

As far as the chicken/egg theory - I assume life's failings happen for many reasons, but the most important advice to give is self-introspection. Realizing what you appear to be through others' eyes and experiences, not just your own. People need to realize their existence on a solitary 'island' of information through their internet portals is like staring at the entire ocean through a single 6-inch porthole on the side of a ship. I try many, many different ways to encourage people to alter their perspectives - but it seems like the negative or 'angry' statements are the words people react to most.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 33
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 5:15:31 AM

Who in their right mind would WANT to date such a person?



Good point/question!

Maybe angry people attract...um...unique types? (not in a good way- trying to find a PC way to say crazy LoL)
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 34
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 5:31:23 AM
I agree, Keswick.. 100%. Thank you for your post. Sorry you got so many cold, hateful responses here from people who fall back on the MAYBE IT'S YOU!!

In this case, I dont think that's the issue. And I do think everyone has a right, after a point, to express frustration. However, on the internet, it's like you're not supposed to feel anything about anything, ever, or you get a boot on the neck and mocked.

Funny, because it is that sort of coldness, snottiness, that makes people want to withdraw and never try to communicate. Again, sorry about that.

Your observations are completely accurate..lots of pain, especially in middle age. And the five minute replies blasting you for not reacting the way the person wants you to..been there, done that.

I've stopped dating altogether. It's lonely, but then again, my expectations have shifted to not expecting anything from anyone, and just going about my life, and all of the things that consistently make it great. Good friends, exercise, travel, a satisfying job.

There is nothing in the world more difficult than dating.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 35
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 5:55:03 AM

There is nothing in the world more difficult than dating.


I have to agree 100%
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 36
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 7:58:28 AM

I agree, Keswick.. 100%. Thank you for your post. Sorry you got so many cold, hateful responses here from people who fall back on the MAYBE IT'S YOU!!

In this case, I dont think that's the issue. And I do think everyone has a right, after a point, to express frustration. However, on the internet, it's like you're not supposed to feel anything about anything, ever, or you get a boot on the neck and mocked.

If someone is THAT angry, they may benefit from some sort of cognitive therapy &/or a support group or 12 step group. Ranting in an online dating site's forum is not exactly going to be helpful.


Funny, because it is that sort of coldness, snottiness, that makes people want to withdraw and never try to communicate. Again, sorry about that.

I disagree- how is it cold to engage in a message board w/ strangers? Should we some how be able to transmit sunshine, lollipops & rainbows through the screen? It's a bunch of people posting their POVs. If someone wants to "withdraw" that is internal & not because of randoms on POF.


Your observations are completely accurate..lots of pain, especially in middle age. And the five minute replies blasting you for not reacting the way the person wants you to..been there, done that.
When someone starts a thread, the responders are not required to wear kid gloves to baby a passive person.


I've stopped dating altogether. It's lonely, but then again, my expectations have shifted to not expecting anything from anyone
That's your choice. People get out of life what they put out or expect.


There is nothing in the world more difficult than dating.

If you choose that attitude. Each person manifests what they put out. If you put out a positive vibe & look for the good, expect the good, & want a positive outcome you will get it. If you go to a venue & don't like it, then you move on if you are well adjusted.

Expecting a whole venue/group to change for your needs won't happen and seeing only the negative in the world will just deliver to you exactly that. Your choice, dwell on the negative or look towards the positive.

Sorry you went through a loss. Perhaps a bereavement support group would be better for you right now?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 37
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 10:14:51 AM

Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways.
Where it is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses.

- Arlen Price
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 38
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 12:48:01 PM

There is nothing in the world more difficult than dating.


Really?

I can think of a few:

Taking out your own appendix.
Hand feeding a great white shark.
Surviving a nuclear blast.


and just going about my life, and all of the things that consistently make it great. Good friends, exercise, travel, a satisfying job.


Why is it that so many people can manage to find all these people with the intangible qualities to be good FRIENDS (such as honesty, dependability, sincerity), but cannot find good friends with those qualities who they are physically and romantically attracted to in order to date them?

Or are all of their "good friends" really NOT honest, dependable, and sincere?
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 39
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 1:22:49 PM
For me I find dating very difficult.
For one it's not the attitude for I love to meet new ppl, go to interesting place and high hopes of finding the one.
It more like being shy and nervous being in a one on one situation. I get such anxiety I feel sick.
Being in a small town makes this even more difficult, as everyone knows somebody and their dog.
I have been in 3 long term relationship only, one of which was 20 years so jumping into dating was like drowning.
Being older seems like a slight disadvantage as well.
Dating just isn't for everyone.


Sorry you went through a loss. Perhaps a bereavement support group would be better for you right now?


PBA: I'm not sure if this was meant for me or not...
If it was thank you and I have joined bereavement groups....no amount of support can heal a mother's heart when if comes to the death of her children. Time can mend but once the heart has been broken in such a way there is no true healing...there is only a learned way to survive.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 40
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 1:35:06 PM
^^^^
For that anxiety might I suggest Clonazepam
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 41
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 1:46:05 PM
^^^

For that anxiety might I suggest Clonazepam


Are you a Doctor or do you just play one in the forums?

;-)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 42
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 2:19:09 PM
Not too allude too much to our present company - - but I find it ironic how nurses or other medical professionals are so quick to recommend counseling or other professional help for even a slight funk or temporary mood swing - and yet, in my experience, those same medical professionals are absolutely miserable at using the services themselves. I've met plenty who's psyche is a bag full of cats, and simply could not realize anything was wrong. Maybe it's being tuned into serving others for far too long that the self-examination part of the brain gets into an atrophy of sorts, I dunno...
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 43
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 2:30:39 PM

Sorry you went through a loss. Perhaps a bereavement support group would be better for you right now?


PBA: I'm not sure if this was meant for me or not...
If it was thank you and I have joined bereavement groups....no amount of support can heal a mother's heart when if comes to the death of her children. Time can mend but once the heart has been broken in such a way there is no true healing...there is only a learned way to survive.


No, the OP. I was addressing the OP in the entirety of my post.

I cannot even begin to imagine your loss, losing a child is probably more heart breaking than losing a spouse or lover.

:0(

_________________________________________

ironic how nurses or other medical professionals are so quick to recommend counseling or other professional help for even a slight funk or temporary mood swing - and yet, in my experience, those same medical professionals are absolutely miserable at using the services themselves. I've met plenty who's psyche is a bag full of cats, and simply could not realize anything was wrong. Maybe it's being tuned into serving others for far too long that the self-examination part of the brain gets into an atrophy of sorts, I dunno...

Better for any health care pro to recommend than not recommend. Even a lay person such as myself.
I think only any experienced diagnostician can determine a "funk" or "temporary mood swing" VS a DSM-V disorder.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 44
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 3:10:35 PM
Sure, some will tell you to go see some headshrinker. That's all well and good, if you happen to have unlimited funding to afford such services. And of course, it's never done in just one trip.

Why on earth would I go pay someone to gripe at, when I can sit here, gripe, and it's free? Once I'm through griping on here, I feel better. Had I gone to a pro, I may feel better then. But, I'd go back to square one once I got the bill.

At my age, dating is a hassle. I'd be out money and time. Maybe you all might get some mental benefit out of it. If I look back on it, all I'd see is what I should have been doing. And how much ahead I would have been, had I not been distracted by someone else.

No, I don't happen to travel the same road as the masses. Any sage advice that the mental health pros make a living at, I question. Since they cater to the masses, let them make the buck from those people.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 45
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 3:23:21 PM
^^ Purple, there is a plethora of free support groups out there,

Just about every Church, Synagogue, Temple etc. has a few. If not at a house of worship, someplace.

If someone is that angry/upset, better to talk than to go on a rampage like Columbine or Sandy Hook, or take their own life.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 46
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 3:47:17 PM

Are you a Doctor or do you just play one in the forums?


Cynderella wrote "It more like being shy and nervous being in a one on one situation. I get such anxiety I feel sick." She stated herself her anxiety might be caused be her shyness which is part of her personality and one doesn't take a pill to change your personality.

The reason I posted that was to find out how many of these forumites would suddenly become experts in psychology. After all so many of them in their own minds are experts in everything
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 47
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 4:53:47 PM

in their own minds are experts in everything


I'll trade you my Key Lime Pie Recipe if you can tell me how to split an atom

















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Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 48
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 6:51:59 PM
If something is disrupting your life, get help for, if you can afford it. Seriously, if you were having a heart attack, would you come here, vent, then feel better. But, as with any doctor or therapist, you have to make sure you find a good match for what you need. Someone opposed to therapy isn't going to get anything from it.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 49
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So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 8:24:05 PM
Dayna
If something is disrupting your life, get help for, if you can afford it. Seriously, if you were having a heart attack, would you come here, vent, then feel better. But, as with any doctor or therapist, you have to make sure you find a good match for what you need. Someone opposed to therapy isn't going to get anything from it.

+1
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 50
So many angry single people
Posted: 2/8/2018 9:55:50 PM

I'll trade you my Key Lime Pie Recipe if you can tell me how to split an atom

Young lady why are you discussing something technical when the forums are abstract?

Take purplerider1200 for example. From his post I get the impression he is content with his life as it is yet you suggest counselling.

I have to ask purplerider1200 do you think you need counselling?
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