Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 51
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleaguePage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I work with a lot of people in their 20s. We get along, but would never hang together outside of work.

Henry this is the biggest mistake I made when I first started working. I should have learned to be friendly without being friends.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 52
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 10:57:03 AM

I went there to WORK, not discuss my personal life with people I didn't care about.


Best way to make sure you never get called into the human resource office. I heard this same recommendation on The Tom Leykis Show.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 53
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 12:08:51 PM

NY58 dislikes men, accuses them of following her around everywhere she goes (particularly the grocery store), and NY58-prime “shags” her coworkers just for fun.

She's bi-polar... but the real question is: Is she bi? ;)
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 54
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 12:13:57 PM

I went there to WORK, not discuss my personal life with people I didn't care about.


Exactly. Keep the people from work out of your personal life completely. No talking about your personal life and no hanging out with co-workers. Total DTA (don't trust anyone) mode.


but the real question is: Is she bi? ;)


Her only chance at romance is to become 100% gay.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 55
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 1:25:30 PM
I work with a lot of people. I like most of them well enough. I have no desire to spend time with any of them outside of work. I don't ask questions about their lives outside of work. I don't offer any information about my life outside of work. Those are two different worlds and I would prefer that it stay that way.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 56
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 2:38:40 PM
Henry, I don't think men following me in a store or approaching me is a bad thing. I get a kick out of it. I've had married men talk to me also. They say they're married, and I can see they just want to chat. I guess they're out shopping by their lonesome, and they're bored. Why wouldn't I want to shag hot guys at the job? I don't think it's a great idea, but sometimes you can't turn a great piece of @ss down, sí?

Pig, I'm not bi, but if I was, why wouldn't I have a problem with women? Same difference, you have to get along the same way and deal with personalities. I think women in general are wonderful, but I'm attracted to male traits.

There are definitely things you don't want to talk about, like personal problems, whether they're health issues or how you party. If you're looking for a promotion, it can kill that. Where it's really good to be guarded is during a job interview. HR may try to see if you have kids, because they think women will take too many days off because of that. They do want to see you have monetary obligations, indicating you're going to want to do a good job and won't want to lose that job.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 57
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 2:54:56 PM

Why wouldn't I want to shag hot guys at the job?


The point is, you threw that in there out of nowhere, which likely left everyone who read it saying to themselves "what the f*ck did that have to do with anything?"


Pig, I'm not bi, but if I was, why wouldn't I have a problem with women?


I'll be damned. You actually made a good point. Women would probably turn on you, too.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 58
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 3:21:58 PM


"I have no desire to spend time with any of them outside of work. I don't ask questions about their lives outside of work."

"No talking about your personal life and no hanging out with co-workers."

"I work with a lot of people in their 20s. We get along, but would never hang together outside of work."

"I've made lifetime friends from work, going back 40 years. Shagged some work mates too"


I almost shagged one several times because we were hanging out together outside of work and we were drunk. Since I was married at first and she was later - we did the right thing - I guess. I kinda think I should've shagged her because we found out later our spouses were shagging others.

Since childhood I socialized with many co-workers outside of work. Perhaps being a golfer, tennis player, bowler, card player and a baseball player (younger years) had a lot to do with most of those outside of work friendships.

I don't recall men talking much about their personal lives (a few women did) at work. There were plenty of tragic events reported in the newspapers involving co-workers, but still no talking to THEM about it (it was uncomfortable being around a few only because ya really don't know how to handle tragic deaths of children - there were many).

It was reported that one co-worker's young daughter died of an asthma attack. We (and I assume the dad did also) suspected her husband murdered her. We were right! Prior to his arrest the local newspaper had a full page story about our co-worker and his wife being bigots - due to the way they treated their son-in-law at the funeral. They were NOT bigots. No way! They apparently hated the guy because he murdered their daughter.

Nobody (that I know of) talked to him about his daughter's murder or the newspaper articles. We might've been wrong, but we kept our distance.

(I worked at a defense plant: submarines. We had a lot of time to BS.)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 59
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 3:45:51 PM
Pig, shagging co-workers falls under "getting social at work", on topic☺

Ben, some jobs have baseball teams. At some jobs, there were a lot of single ladies, so we went out together after work. I only "let loose" when out with co-workers where we became actual friends.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 60
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:58:15 PM

Pig, shagging co-workers falls under "getting social at work", on topic

I think it veers into another topic though -- the drama of getting porked by dudes at work... VS the concept of things like going to the bar after work with some fellow co-workers to have a drink every Friday, or separating social life & work.

I think "standard ops" for most people is to not Aim to develop outside-of-work relationships with fellow co-workers... but over time, it'll happen to at least some light social-group degree. I'd compare it to a bar one's a frequent visitor of, with their friends. Over time, they'll end up having some "bar friends" in that environment. They don't go out to the movies together or hang out at each other's place (only if younger and they're throwing a party) -- but they're a friend in that environment they'll share a drink with, shoot the shit with, etc.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 61
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:50:10 AM


(NY58) Pig, shagging co-workers falls under "getting social at work", on topic


(SwedishChef456) I think it veers into another topic though -- the drama of getting porked by dudes at work...


"... porked by dudes at work" -- what are you, 12 years-old?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 62
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 6:08:23 AM
I don't drink, so I wouldn't be interested in having a six pack in the parking lot with those employees who enjoy that. doesn't make them, or me, right or wrong. Only some of my coworkers want to talk about cars for hours.

I don't have kids, so I'm not going out of my way to spend time with someone who's kids are their entire life and there are no other stories to tell. As for the grandparents, yes, i'm sure your kid is the only one who has learned how to walk. That's wonderful, let's spend two hours mooning over that.

The bands I want to watch, aren't what coworkers 20 years my senior or junior are blowing money to go see. But I can understand the fun of a live show, and everyone joins in b/c they know the lyrics. Still, i'm not going to debate how Christine Agular (sic) has outlasted Britney Spears, just like you said would happen. good for you for seeing that years ago.

Hey, you want me to hang out with you so we can talk about how great Trump is? um...(yes, we had a maintenance guy who was racist as hell when Obama was in office, and you can guess what that meant. his idea of repairing a sink was to duck-tape the pipe back together, saying it was just going to break again. Management loved him b/c he didn't charge much).

Oh, you didn't go to college, so your way of debating is to repeat yourself louder and louder and LOUDER, rather than come up with other points and arguments? By all means, let's go someplace and get you loaded, b/c that should make things better.

Ah, you're a baller, so you want to drink Cristal where people can see you. Yeah, that's out of budget, but thanks for wanting me to witness. Oh, your cousin wants me to join him on the curb swilling Thunderbird? Yeah, that's not me, either, i'm somewhere in the middle of that.

Oh, you're the office gossip? well, let's go talk about my personal life, since you've already told me about everyone else.

------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a famous graffiti, about how each and every social group has people playing roles inside it. So, for example, if after a while in that group, you can't figure out who is the joker, the leader, the a$$hole, etc...that's b/c its you playing the role.

Some people are lucky to work in an industry they really love (engineering, let's say, or a full-on sales guy in every aspect in life), so they may share a lot of interests/personality traits in common with their fellow coworkers (left brained, right brained, Type A personality, etc). Others are just there to collect a paycheck, and thus may be fish out of water.

There's nothing inheritently wrong with socializing with coworkers. Now that some take it too far, HR has stepped in the last few decades to try to dehumanize the office--no dating, etc. which probably makes it more fun and taboo to sneak around the rules :) But i'm not the only person who has heard someone who "Revealed too much" about personal life, attitude towards the boss, etc and declared, "From now on, i'm just going in there, doing my work, and going home". But we are still descended from social animals, we still want to socialize.

I socialized with most everyone at work, except the bullies and the elites with their nose in the air with a concern that I used four letter words and the Christians who didn't like my flirting. But had I ever met them as a stranger in a bar? We'd be friendly, but probably not turn into best friends. There is a big grey area between "let's be polite and friendly" and "hey, friend, can you let me have one of your kidneys so I can live?"
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 63
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 11:46:19 AM
I'll be damned if that didn't go right over her head.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 64
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:30:20 PM

Pig, shagging co-workers falls under "getting social at work", on topic☺


Social. Not sexual. Duuuurrr.


The bands I want to watch, aren't what coworkers 20 years my senior or junior are blowing money to go see.


This reminded me of when I saw The Outlaws in December. (I only went because I was put on the guest list by a friend I have in common with the singer)

I may have very well been the youngest person there. It was the only show I had ever been to at this venue where they put chairs out on the floor and virtually no one stood up the entire show.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 65
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:48:58 PM
and your story reminded me of when I tried my first, and last, Techno/Industrial (but by that time they called it EDM) live concert, announced in a college radio program I listened to. I was hoping for anything like DeadMau5. What I got was...I was the oldest there, maybe by a factor of two. Ever feel like you're the narc without acting like you are? The next day, I found out some young coworkers had recognized me but for whatever reason, hadn't dared to come over to say hi.

hell, I probably looked like I was there to find my daughter :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 66
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 6:32:30 PM
Getting sexual is social to the 10th degree☺ Since it's misunderstood, I may start saying it out loud while with gfs. Hey, see that cute guy? I want to get social with him

I went to see Pitbull a few years ago. I think he took off early to attend the Iheart Music Festival he was participating in. People were looking around as if to say, he's leaving, this is it?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 67
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 10:54:16 PM

Getting sexual is social to the 10th degree

It's not merely being social, just like you're not Just friends. It's getting social -- and Then a sharp left turn, which changes the recipe.

Boss: "SO. I heard what you were doing with Frank & Johnny in the break room, during lunch."
Sally: "Yeah, so? We were just being social. I make friends at work. Is that wrong?"
Boss: "Since when is engaging in a 3-some in the break-room just friends from work socializing?"
Sally: "Sh!t. Frank had it on camera again, didn't he?"
Boss: "AGAIN?!"
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 68
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/26/2018 11:12:50 PM
I have more couth than to do it in the break room☺ We weren't friends. It was merely being social. One did turn into a relationship.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread. Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread, but yet I do.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 69
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/27/2018 3:17:24 AM


(Newyorker58) Getting sexual is social to the 10th degree


(SwedishChef456) It's not merely being social, just like you're not Just friends. It's getting social -- and Then a sharp left turn, which changes the recipe.


Oo-WEE! And you have the nerve to castigate me for relating my book-in-pub stories? At least I'm not the one sitting behind my computer with a chubber, spreading pre-adolescent fantasies...
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 70
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/27/2018 5:43:47 AM

I may have very well been the youngest person there. It was the only show I had ever been to at this venue where they put chairs out on the floor and virtually no one stood up the entire show.


Weird. I saw two shows last year with floor seating, Tom Petty in PGH and then again in Philly, but everybody stood from start to finish at both. I dunno. Maybe because it was the The Outlaws.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 71
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/27/2018 5:56:44 AM

but by that time they called it EDM


I am very picky when it comes to EDM. I've experimented with EDM composition quite a bit over the years, and I always go with a "prog" approach to break up the monotony commonly associated with the genre, which on the downside, reduces danceability.


I went to see Pitbull a few years ago.


My sincerest condolences.


Maybe because it was the The Outlaws.


Yes, that was it. This venue typically books metal acts that draw mostly 20's-40's crowd.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 72
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/27/2018 6:20:17 AM
"I've experimented with EDM composition quite a bit over the years, and I always go with a "prog" approach to break up the monotony commonly associated with the genre, which on the downside, reduces danceability."

>>>thank goodness. I made a mistake once of using it for roadtrip music, and found out why they call it "Trance". I guess the monotony is great for someone high on E, but for the rest of us....
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 73
view profile
History
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 4/20/2018 6:01:21 AM
The OP needlessly initiated contact with Joe from her work, and she tried to extend a conversation. Sounds like bad etiquette from the beginning. Joe had the right idea of not wanting anything to do with the OP, and by only saying necessary work related stuff at work.

As often occurs on the forums, masses of people bash the boyfriend and make assumptions about him.

Joe would be justified in gossiping about the OP to other coworkers on the next workday (though he probably wouldn't because he focuses on work and wouldn't gossip). He could say he saw her at the store with some guy. If any guy in the office had ideas about the OP, hearing this could get the coworker to forget about her. Female gossips at work might spread and distort the rumor. They might pay close attention to the OP's body language to guess whether the mystery man is a good lover.

Perhaps the OP is a time-wasting chatterbox and Joe knew to avoid enabling her.

John might not have enjoyed going shopping with OP in the first place. At least the presence of Joe suggests the store wasn't girly.

Usually if one partner wants them to be known as a couple, it's the girl. She gets mad at him when he introduces her by her name instead of as "my girlfriend". And she gets really upset if he describes her as a "friend".


Back when I had jobs, I wouldn't acknowledge coworkers if I saw them outside work, with a few exceptions, for example once a buddy from work and I happened to be at the same gas station. For the most part, coworkers are in the same categories Mustang described.

At my most recent job, once a bad coworker left early. I left work about an hour after she did, and went to the nearby Wally World. The bad coworker was shopping the Wally World and saw me as we exited (I was browsing the Redbox machine). She tried to talk to me. The next morning I told the boss I saw the bad coworker at Wally World after work, whereupon I found out that she had told him she needed to leave early for important things. He then knew she had lied to him if he didn't already suspect her.


The only difference with Mustang's description is I would reverse the college degree or lack thereof for which people are argumentative idiots. The intelligent people who joined the real world directly after high school (and the dissatisfied customers who went to college and know it's not good) are the stable and rational ones. The losers who waste many years in their ivory tower and who probably steal from taxpayers by getting student loans and not repaying them, they're the immature fools. They think their degree (not worth the paper on which it's written) makes them superior. In reality, the school of hard knocks is a much better education. The only people with whom I want less to do than coworkers is college classmates.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 74
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 4/20/2018 6:36:59 AM
That is an interesting take on Joe...I've worked with some idiots (while I was at college b/c I didn't take the loans :) ) who I wouldn't deal with outside of work (while they were drinking after shift in the parking lot, etc). Staying away from their drama so you can honestly say, "Senator, I cannot recollect" isn't a bad idea. A friend of mine is going thru something like this now.

In college, I did meet students who had no idea why they were in college, and I met "Adult" students who went into the workplace, worked their way up, and were stymied at paycheck time by not earning what they should, due to that lack of sheepskin. Around that time, there was a problem with our new library, water was getting behind the brick fascade and when it froze, pushed off 10 foot wide sheets of the brick to fall to the sidewalk. Some of the blame went to workers who came back from six pack lunches and decided the way to fix gaps where material did not meet was just to slap some concrete in. They blamed middle management who refused to listen. A lesson for all of us, on how real life works :)

"the school of hard knocks is a much better education"

>>>it can be--growing up fat, dumb, and happy is great for the rich if they can keep their money. That's how they stay "old money". Its the nouveau riche ya gotta watch out for.

"the only people who I want less to do with than coworkers, is my classmates who went to college."

>>>I wonder what they say on a forum somewhere. :) Still, as the saying goes, we all stick with what we know, and we're happy. At a specialized occupation, coworkers may share characteristics (left brain thinking, Type A, etc) that they need for the job. At other occupations, one might be as exposed to people they have never met before, as they would being a college student. Sometimes, the pay one is willing to accept introduces them to a socio-economic class. Once I worked around meat butchers who made good enough pay that their conversation basically was on how they spent their money.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 75
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 4/22/2018 7:51:30 PM
Was your bf expressing his opinion or was he truly upset? If the former, you are overreacting.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague