Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone "REALLY"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 26
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLYPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
When a couple are dating, and one person suggests getting married, the first thing the other person should do is ask "Why?" (unless the other person is also equally enthusiastic with doing the wedding tango). If someone comes up with the standard reasons "It show commitment/It shows you love me/We become one", and other fairy tale expressions, that doesn't do it for me. I can show those things without a government approved marriage ceremony. If a person thinks that it's not possible to be a good partner without an official marriage, we're not a match.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 1/28/2018 3:25:27 PM

if a man has been like a serial dater his whole life and only has a long list of broken relationships how does this make him good husband material.

Just because you haven't been married doesn't mean you're a serial dater, at all. False stereotype. Second, ALL your past relationships are broken. Including Yours. Yep, you have a list of broken relationships too -- a broken marriage capping that list off. Third, if one does have a long list of relationships from the past -- they don't exactly fit the bill of a "serial dater". Serial daters don't even get close to a Relationship. So which is it? :) Damned if they do, damned if they don't, eh?

A- You likely have no idea what being committed means

If they have a list of relationships from the past, they certainly do.

C- You are not marriage material if you can stop looking for someone better

If you can stop looking for someone better, you certainly are able to become marriage material. I'm assuming you meant Can't stop looking. Sure. They'll be the first one to tell ya that. You yourself aren't marriage material either. One isn't until they're Already LTR-happy with a specific someone. If you're wanting to get married when you're not even in an LTR -- you have bigger problems that even serial daters. :)

B- Chances are you need a new women once your grow tired of the one your with

Sure, something to look out for. You judge it on the individual and how they are. Not whether they have a broken marriage under their belt or not.

What am I missing here?

Looking at things not just 1-dimensionally. I can look at it reverse and have a "reason" to huff & puff: What? You're 50 and you have these list of broken relationships -- and you can't even hold one down when you did holy & legal Vows to Never break up? That's worse, my dear! :) At least Jim over there wisely decided NOT to get married, and he's happily in an LTR living with a nice gal. They never got married because they didn't want to have kids. Getting married and spitting out babies and breaking the marriage? Don't see how you're in some "better" spot than Jim over there. So, see? One can make ANYTHING look Bad, if you're single. That's what you're missing. :)
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 28
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 4:39:20 AM

(gtomustang) B) Edison failed many times to make a lightbulb. But he claimed they were not failures, he just had to find out every way a lightbulb, wasn't a lightbulb, to figure out what did make a lightbulb.

:)


If you drive a Tesla, and it gets stolen, does it then become an Edison?
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 29
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 5:29:28 AM

...he just had to find out every way a lightbulb, wasn't a lightbulb, to figure out what did make a lightbulb.


Does this analogy have to do with transgendered people-if you were to replace the word lightbulb with woman?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 7:49:03 AM
"if your Tesla gets stolen, does it become an Edison?"

>>>naw, you get a Lost Charge, instead. But now you make me wonder, AT, if it gets stolen, can the owner turn on the auto pilot and have it return home, like a stolen horse in the movie Dances With Wolves?

now, that'd be a shock.

"if you were to replace the word lightbulb with woman?"

>>boy, there is a screw joke in there someplace. but i'll be nice and not go there. oh wait.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 2:31:46 PM
Okay, this is getting out of hand, totally out of hand. GTO is gone? Seriously?

I'm really beginning to suspect that someone is hiding in the shadows with admin privileges. Otherwise this flat doesn't make any sense.

Does anyone have an email address for GTO? I never conversed with him privately here, wanted to a number of times, but the stupid age filters wouldn't allow it. GTO, if you're out there, you can reach me on OK*Cupid. Free to join, no site mandated age restrictions on emails, and my userid there is exactly the same as here.

And, of course, anyone else who wants to reach me, the same thing applies. Happy to hear from any of the forumites.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 4:02:40 PM
GTO? KJ? LH?

It's getting spooky here!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/3/2018 7:31:03 PM
Most of the posters getting deleted spend a lot of time in the political threads in the Off Topic section of the forums. I avoid those threads like the plague.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 34
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 4:00:01 AM
I am in my 50's and I never thought I would ever consider marriage, but here I am thinking about my future. Although my beaux and I would no longer consider our union (we simply date well- and have talked about it), I find the thought appealing at this life juncture. The benefits of marriage might outweigh the benefits of staying single. To say I'm ready for that type of lifetime commitment says a lot about how much time can change a person. We all evolve in many ways we don't even realize.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 8:25:57 AM

cooldog65
Most of the posters getting deleted spend a lot of time in the political threads in the Off Topic section of the forums. I avoid those threads like the plague.

I dipped my toes into the OFF TOPIC political fights a few times, years ago, and gave it up as a lost cause. But I’m fairly certain you’re right about that being the cause of recent deletions. I’m also fairly certain that GTO did not have any enemies outside of Off Topic.

I was able to pass my email address to GTO, through a third party here in the forums (thanks, you know who you are!) And I heard from him this morning, yes, he was summarily kicked off. This whole thing kinda p_____ me off, but like so many other things in life, it is what it is.

I suspect if I keep poking the Trumpites, I will eventually get kicked off as well. So be it.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 36
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 9:49:14 AM

someone is hiding in the shadows with admin privileges. Otherwise this flat doesn't make any sense.


or a highly intelligent, master of manipulation.

Was once an old post about "The Monkey's Paw" I think, made by ...he was a forum regular, older man travelled to asia lot & married a younger asian gal...name escapes me now. Oh, Dragon Bites or something similar.

I have my own ideas/experiences but not willing to post it. After all, I had been nuked repeatedly for about 2 years.

Do not know if there is some sort of "filter" or "program" that "nukes" a person based on some technical criteria, or if there is some game being played out.

Also, understand any info a person passes out on the net is not gospel truth. If I tell you I have a niece, or children or a sister or cooked up a storm around the holidays, it is meaningless, as is anyone else's info. But it is more likely to be true if I post a (un-photoshopped) picture of it.

Sometimes, & I do not mean this as an insult, I can NOT believe the naive-ness of some of the people on the forums :0(
Sorry...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 10:15:02 AM
There are admins. There have to be admins. Trust me, I work in IT for Chevron, and (among other responsibilities), I am an admin for several systems / sub-systems / servers / web servers. Someone has to have authority, and do minimal house keeping. In the case of the POF forums, we know just how minimal the house keeping is!


We know that Markus set up things so that his system (dating side as well as forums) could be run by an absolute minimum number of employees. Google will lead you to a number of interviews where he bragged about how few employees he had. He was able to run a web site with a very high number of hits per day, with far fewer employees than anyone else. The results for the end users were chaotic, but for Markus, the results were huge profit margins.

There is a wide spread supposition around here that people gang up to get other users deleted. Enough clicks by enough different people on the “report profile” button, and the person being reported is gone. I suspect that is basically true, but slightly more complicated.


There was a discussion, many years ago, about people having their profile deleted if they were blocked too many times. The answer (and it seemed official), was that after a certain number of blocks, an actual human on the staff would look at the situation and make a decision. It was not 100 blocks (or whatever the number was), and you were automatically gone, there was still a human element, some admin had to do the deletion.


I would think if the above is true for “blocks”, then the same process would apply for “reports”. Just my guess, but an educated guess. I further suspect that a single email to csr@pof.com , saying, “You deleted KJ521, but she has returned as KJ_521” was enough to get KJ’s new profile kicked off in 2 days
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 38
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 10:23:46 AM
^^^
How does this explain GTO being kicked off? He had been here maybe 10 years, w/ no issues?

I am sure most if not all of what you say is true, but I think there is more to things than what you say.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 10:35:16 AM
^^^ Walts was here over 12 years and disappeared late last year. He spent some time in the political threads, too.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 10:58:50 AM

cooldog65
Walts was here over 12 years and disappeared late last year. He spent some time in the political threads, too.

I have to agree. I think CoolDog has the answer here, it is the political threads that do you in. People get very heated over there.

GTO, to the best of my knowledge, had zero enemies here in the “dating forums”. The same is true for Walts, and (mostly) for KJ. I say “mostly” in referring to KJ, because she had in the past had some issues with a few of the women. But I don’t think it was nearly enough to get her “ganged up on and deleted”.

As much as I would like to say it is the crazy right wingers doing this, KJ leaned to the right, so it must have been “crazy left wingers” who ganged up on her. Some days I just don’t recognize the world that we live in these days.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 41
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 11:01:06 AM

Walts was here over 12 years and disappeared late last year. He spent some time in the political threads, too.

Many people saw that he got nuked. Now, who did he have a beef with? Wasn't he a "beloved" alumni? w/ a great sense of humor, who always shared? (He always passed his bottle around!)
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 42
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 11:05:03 AM
ps- CoolDog, the cat you saw on my you tube vid years ago is around & doing well, he is on the couch in the background of the pic w/ my niece & I.

(sorry it would not let me edit to add )
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 43
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 11:35:10 AM
ohenryx wrote in part:
I was able to pass my email address to GTO, through a third party here in the forums (thanks, you know who you are!) And I heard from him this morning, yes, he was summarily kicked off. This whole thing kinda p_____ me off, but like so many other things in life, it is what it is.

I suspect if I keep poking the Trumpites, I will eventually get kicked off as well. So be it.


Really??? You're going to blame GTOs deletion on the POTUS and his supporters?

And you criticize The Donald for having a big ego<<<

hahahaha

Sad. Bigly Sad~
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 1:11:23 PM
MsSkeezix, you need to read a little more of what I wrote, and consider the context.

GTO is quite liberal in his political leanings. If he was “ganged up on and deleted” from this site, it was almost certainly for his political leanings and his posts in support of that position. But at the same time, or at least very recently, we have KJ, who leaned to the right, most likely suffering a similar fate for her political posts. Which lead me to say (look up above, right here on this page):



As much as I would like to say it is the crazy right wingers doing this, KJ leaned to the right, so it must have been “crazy left wingers” who ganged up on her. Some days I just don’t recognize the world that we live in these days.


 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 45
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/4/2018 5:43:33 PM

I work in IT for Chevron, and (among other responsibilities), I am an admin for several systems / sub-systems / servers / web servers./


Then poke around the internet & use some of your skills, like "view source" & poking thru HTML code, etc.

Surely a man of your aptitude can use fact(s) not conjecture/manipulation to get at the truth.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 12:20:42 AM

GTO? KJ? LH?

It's getting spooky here!


GTO??? Gone?? no waaaay...
I rarely visited and followed down in Off Topic but up here in Dating and Relationships, I enjoyed reading his contributions...

hmmmm,
well thar's one contributor fishy I'll definitely miss...
lurking just won't be the same...
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 47
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 5:55:03 AM
This site hasn't been the same since the forum link went bye bye, and the poetry link went into a deeper poof. The evolution of technology will leave us all with memories of posting here one day. Like chat rooms forums will fall to the way side in exchange for a video clip, or something else someplace else. Till then I will come and go for the entertainment.
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 48
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 7:45:59 AM

What am I missing here?

early onset dementia setting in.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 1:37:45 PM

I find the thought appealing at this life juncture. The benefits of marriage might outweigh the benefits of staying single.

I think when you're past child-bearing age (or definite on not having any kids) -- IMO, getting married should really only be done for tax/inheritance purposes that's mutually satisfying. If one believes they need a contract to keep themselves or the other from cheating/leaving -- then there's a bigger problem on hand.

I think the proposal of getting married should ideally only come up until they've basically lived the married life for over a year (which would have been predicated by dating for a good while right before that) -- while having kids being something they both will want in the not-too-distant future (or, like I say, tax/income/inheritance reasons that both would want as the reason).

There is a wide spread supposition around here that people gang up to get other users deleted. Enough clicks by enough different people on the “report profile” button, and the person being reported is gone. I suspect that is basically true, but slightly more complicated.

I agree that there's likely a human element to it, where it's not purely just X number of blocks or reports on someone that'll get them deleted, although that alone can be enough. If it's relatively high, a human doing periodic house-cleaning can sweep 'em out, and I wouldn't assume it's the most accurate, nor trying to be -- given how the rest of the site exists, for better or worse.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 50
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 3:49:26 PM
That's an interesting point NG. I do believe you are onto something about the being past the desire for child bearing. My beaux wants more children, but is currently eating his words. His daughter he did not get to raise recently divorced and moved in. Her son is 8, and her daughter is 15.

Financially I see the current tax reforms as a vehicle for marriage longevity. Funny with how many things our president does wrong, that he is actually doing a lot right too.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone "REALLY"