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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone "REALLY"      Home login  
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 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 101
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLYPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
There are two types of men.
1/ Faithful, is always happy with just one woman. He stays in the relationship so long as it is good.
2/ Unfaithful, the wanderer type who gets bored with the same woman after a while and needs to move on.

Nature would probably favour the wanderer for genes as he would get around more women spreading his seed further and having more kids. Yet both types have survived.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 102
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/18/2018 6:23:19 PM

Speaking as an old boot who never ended up settling down till my late 20s

[sarcasm] Oh jezus...yer late 20's...such an old age for "never settling down till". [/sarcasm]


Nature would probably favour the wanderer for genes as he would get around more women spreading his seed further and having more kids. Yet both types have survived.

The non-wanderer has survived because, via the other half of natural selection - the woman, there have always been enough women who have their heads screwed on right and pick the proper path to travel down.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 103
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/19/2018 10:31:55 AM
This “two types of men” does not sound like it is based on anything scientific. I really really don’t think they have identified a gene which controls whether a man will “wonder” or “settle down”. Seems to me this would definitely fall under nurture, not nature.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 104
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/19/2018 11:38:33 AM
Nurture is usually the culprit although there have been some studies on testosterone levels influencing men going after multiple women. Sometimes there is a strong physical drive to cheat and it depends on individual self-control on whether they are successful at staying faithful.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 105
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/19/2018 7:45:23 PM

When you're married, you can learn to share of yourself. Of course it doesn't always work that way. I'm applying this to myself too, while being single, life is all about me unless I make an effort to do something for others.

When you're in a (serious) Relationship, you learn to share some of yourself, compromise, etc. You also get something out of it in return -- if it's a viable one. If being in a Serious Relationship / Married is an Unselfish move, that means you're giving more than you're receiving. So if a guy & gal move into together to share lives -- who or what's profiting off Each person's deficit? :)
 WakemanR
Joined: 2/4/2018
Msg: 106
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/28/2018 4:58:18 AM
Wow, this thread is quite shocking.

Shocking in the sense of how judgemental everyone seems to be. You take one fact about someone, one that may seem strange to you, and concoct a full psychological profile and pronounce "something weird is going on". Jeez.

There could be many many reasons a person out there never married. You'll only know by asking them - if it's really important to you. Is it really better than someone was married for ten years, twenty years, had kids and then dumped the partner for someone else?!?

Wow.
 23starchild
Joined: 12/18/2017
Msg: 107
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/31/2018 6:35:52 AM
I have always thought that men who have never married have commitment issues and have pretty much whored around. Now that they are older, now they want to marry. I don't even consider these men as prospects for me. I avoid them.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 108
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/31/2018 11:05:22 AM
^ I was a 30 year old virgin. And not because I didn't want some, and not because I couldn't get any, and not because I had any problem. I just didn't whore around. And since 30 years old, same thing. Been looking, just haven't found - and not because I have outrageous standards, and definitely not because I have commitment issues either...having a committed relationship was always important to me. I could never relate to women accusing men of not wanting to commit.

And I'm not that unique. Men like me everywhere.

So...kinda puts dents in your perspective.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 109
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/31/2018 11:33:14 AM

I have always thought that men who have never married have commitment issues and have pretty much whored around.


As opposed to those men who get married, supposedly "committing" to one woman for the rest of their lives, and then cheat on the wife constantly?

Another SMH moment.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 110
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 5/31/2018 11:51:57 AM

(Msg 107): I have always thought that men who have never married have commitment issues...


The marital status in your profile is Divorced. Wouldn't that mean you commitment issues, since the marriage has ended and you are no longer committed to the marriage? Or did you say in your wedding vows, that the marriage and commitment will be temporary?
 01jay
Joined: 5/7/2018
Msg: 111
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 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 112
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:45:37 PM
There are a lot of things you can be missing. To find out just requires the following things...

1. Stop judging someone.
2. Stop seeing the world through your views.
3. Be accepting of someone else's life.
4. Be willing to listen and hear the person.
5. Don't look at someone's life simply as right or wrong.
6. Realize that we all change through out our time on this planet.
7. Realize that he is not the only one who was in the relationship.
8. And lastly, whatever his situation is/was does not make your relationship experience any better because unless you are a widow, there is a reason why you are single at your age and looking for a relationship.
 2Maggie22
Joined: 8/11/2018
Msg: 113
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/17/2018 9:34:27 PM
Most Married people aren't happy anyway...
About 40% to 50% of married couples in the United States divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. The divorce rate among those who remarry is even higher.
 Inicia
Joined: 8/1/2018
Msg: 114
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/18/2018 9:38:50 AM
married or unmarried does not indicate anything about ability to commit- it indicates different choices in life-we all grow and change(hopefully)-many marry and have no commitment-others single have tons of loyalty/commitment-and after thirty years of marriage and married since about 20 yrs of age- might be time for 20 years of playing the field- after apx 30 yrs of playing the field -might be a bit tired and done with dating scene.
 Norasings
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 115
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/18/2018 5:43:54 PM
Well said!

1. Stop judging someone.
2. Stop seeing the world through your views.
3. Be accepting of someone else's life.
4. Be willing to listen and hear the person.
5. Don't look at someone's life simply as right or wrong.
6. Realize that we all change through out our time on this planet.
7. Realize that he is not the only one who was in the relationship.
8. And lastly, whatever his situation is/was does not make your relationship experience any better because unless you are a widow, there is a reason why you are single at your age and looking for a relationship.
 LoveHonorFriendshio
Joined: 7/15/2018
Msg: 116
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 3:59:34 PM
Pretty much every last 'never married' and 'never had kids' that I've dated can't ever commit to a relationship, let alone marraige. It's far from a generalization. It's a fact. Now, I pretty much avoid them.

Unless you are looking for a thrill, it literally is a waste of time.
 Norasings
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 117
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 4:38:35 PM
When a person feels,attracted, comfortable, safe , and loved there is a good chance they will stay.
 LoveHonorFriendshio
Joined: 7/15/2018
Msg: 118
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 6:30:32 PM
I haven't got the time or the patience to get my hopes up anymore.

I also agree with the statements about them getting old and sick and just want a nurse.

My former mother in law used to joke around that at her age, men only want a nurse and a purse. lol

How true it is.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 119
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:13:04 PM
What is wrong with a man wanting to settle down at 50? However you can speculate all you like but until you actually meet up I wouldnt be wasting time wondering.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 120
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:14:40 PM
Some men have more temptations and opportunities than others and some are loyal and dont want to hurt others with their cheating. Some dont have the opportunity to stray.. There is no one formula.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 121
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:22:00 PM
I'm very familiar with single older men. I find them to be selfish, which is one reason why they stay single, because they don't want to share of themselves or their lives, but maybe would date you if they could suck the life out of you, LOL. Needless to say, they have commitment issues. None of that changes when they get old and want a nurse or nurse with a purse.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 122
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/20/2018 11:24:07 AM

Some men have more temptations and opportunities than others and some are loyal and dont want to hurt others with their cheating. Some dont have the opportunity to stray.. There is no one formula.

I agree. It can go both ways, but since men are brought up to do the approaching+making moves, they're going to run into more opportunities if they're doing fine in that dept. It's a good thing to not get tied down when you don't want to or have mixed feelings about it. When you are good & happy being single or more-or-less single -- keep doing what you're doing, until a certain someone turns on that light bulb to take a sharp right turn into Relationship.

Unfortunately in society, peer pressure pushes us to be in a Relationship, and that being in a Relationship in and of itself brings greater value. So many people are Conditioned by family & society to feel at least somewhat empty if not In a Relationship for some time. Sad. :)

I'm very familiar with single older men. I find them to be selfish, which is one reason why they stay single, because they don't want to share of themselves or their lives, but maybe would date you if they could suck the life out of you, LOL.

Older men -- like over 40 (not young)? Or 55+? :) From my experience, older men 55+ are wanting to settle down with a woman more than a guy who's single @35. That said, I'm sure there's no shortage of post-divorce guys who want to settle down but not wanting to sign a marriage contract after having a messy divorce with their ex-wife from long ago, and not wanting that legal mess if/when there'd be a breakup.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 123
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/20/2018 11:26:23 AM

Pretty much every last 'never married' and 'never had kids' that I've dated can't ever commit to a relationship, let alone marraige. It's far from a generalization.. It's a fact.



Needless to say, they have commitment issues


As opposed to those top notch people who make "commitments" and then break them without hesitation, because they don't take the "until death do us part" "commitments" seriously enough to start with. Sometimes even multiple times.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 124
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/20/2018 11:42:35 AM
never been married would be a plus, not a red flag for me. "if" it ever came to marrying them, I would be the special person rather than one of many! anytime I see married 3 times or longest relationship 2 years, I cant help but wonder why. I would never feel secure in a relationship with someone that could divorce easier than resolve issues. if they said they just married the wrong guy, chances are I will be the next wrong guy.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 125
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Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/20/2018 11:46:53 AM
NG, I don't have a definite age range, but a red flag is seeing no long-term relationships.

Fullofcommimentlackingskills, I made a commitment, my ex broke it.
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