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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 26
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Girlfriend has sexual aversionPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

my life returned to normal


This is the key sentence.

What is normal?
She had sex with you to start once you were in she stopped.
I hate to say it but perhaps she needs some serous help.
And you need to evaluate what is normal.
 amazed84
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 27
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 6:49:04 PM
My name isn't Opie. Show more respect or hit the door.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 28
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 6:54:57 PM
Sex is a normal part of a relationship. However, some people are asexual. I would suggest that these people are not good catches..... unless they find an asexual person like themselves.

You love her but she's not right for you. It's very difficult, but you have to let her go and find a true match for you. Time is the great healer, in time you'll get over this girl, be able to love another, and get your needs met.

Your heart is a liar, but you brain is telling you the truth. Listen to reason and don't listen to your heart.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 29
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 7:01:44 PM
I think you need some fresh air to clear out the cobwebs in your head.

First you say this:


i know the odds of us making it work but still i don't care what anyone thinks.


Then this:


I welcome any opinions


So, which is it?

If you have already decided you don't care what anyone thinks, and you are going back to the frustration, why even post?
 amazed84
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 30
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 7:29:27 PM
Means i will listen to peoples opinions but i make my own descision on what i need to do. I haven't decided what to do.
 Subbie_Girl
Joined: 1/25/2018
Msg: 31
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 7:38:57 PM
Ah. "Opie" is a term used for an OP, or Opening Poster, in this case you. It's not disrespectful.

Ahem...
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 32
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/29/2018 7:51:45 PM
My sexual aversion is like soggy lettuce I can eat it or not but won't go out of my way to find it to eat. It either happens or doesn't your ex on the other hand is avoiding it at all cost enough to make sure she won't have it in a relationship that is a pretty high dislike almost a hatred for it. That kind of resentment you don't push on someone she really almost hates sex as such you really shouldn't try to get her to engage in it and if it is that important to you remove yourself from the situation. I can't say for sure but what you are saying about her puts her almost in that category of full out disgust for it and pushing her would only reinforce her resolve on it.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 33
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 3:03:35 AM

(amazed84) My name isn't Opie. Show more respect or hit the door.


"Opie" is the literal transcription of the acronym "OP", which stands for "Original Poster". It is an accepted norm.

Secondly, you getting so riled over a name on an obscure free dating site tells me that events will, indeed, unfold exactly as I predicted; namely, that she will snap her fingers, you'll come running, bear your sexless relationship with mounting (heh-heh) frustration, then blow up at her (again), then blame yourself (again) like the whipped beta you are increasingly sounding like.

Thirdly and lastly, up yours. After subjecting us to your self-pitying Wall o' Text, you have the nerve to lash out at us, but you don't, apparently, have the testicular fortitude to tell this Whack-Job to take a hike?!?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 34
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 3:10:54 AM

(amazed84) Means i will listen to peoples opinions but i make my own descision on what i need to do. I haven't decided what to do.


It means you'll pretend that your life is some second-rate rom-com, and you've already "decided" what you're going to do; you just came here expecting some kudos for "loving" her, and pretending to be the White Knight whose "love" will turn the Ice Queen into a raging nymphomaniac.

Fixed that for you... Opie.

(see? That time it was meant less-than-respectfully...)
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 35
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 4:14:10 AM
From Opie: "I haven't decided what to do"

Hey Opie, you could always "try" something new and smarten the fvck up.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 36
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 10:41:59 AM
Caveat - I haven't read this entire thing (really short attention span today).

Does she have a full-time job?
And two children that are just getting into school?
And no time for sex because she is exhausted?
And no time for herself?

She may or may not be 'asexual' (I personally don't believe that is a valid... orientation?) but - speaking as a single mom - I didn't feel sexual for about a decade after my child was born. I tried to somehow fit my relationship with my husband into my life. But there were only 23 hours, 56 minutes, 4 seconds in a day and making sure we survived - housing, food, health concerns, cleaning, making sure the house didn't burn down - all that came before cuddling and sex.

Possible good news is she might (I think probably) get over the exhaustion.
Bad news - it could take until the youngest is in high school.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 37
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 3:27:10 PM
My thought is that asexuality is a legitimate orientation. There's a growing body of sociological and psychological research to support this. Asexuality is an aspect of one's psyche that will likely never change. For this reason, I don't think you should get back into a relationship with your ex.

To do so will just turn out to be another exercise in frustration and resentment for both of you. That tension-filled environment won't be healthy for her children, either. I think you need to summon up the backbone to move on with your life, and see other women.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 38
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 6:13:50 PM
Depends on how high sex is on your list of importance, you already know she doesn't want to have sex with you and you know she never will enjoy it. Is that something that you will now think is okay, you didn't think so last time. Don't drag her children through this again, please, put some serious thought into how this will effect them. Try looking up mismatched libido sites, this kind of thing can make for a very miserable life. Also it will be just as bad for her to feel pressured and knowing she's disappointing you.
 Darwin1971
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 39
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 6:21:20 PM
ok dude !!

go to the you tube deal and type in " an ear for men" listen to every ****ing video he has then come back here and ask another question I dare ya!!! get some balls
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 40
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 8:04:05 PM

After 4 months in my girlfriend finally admitted to me that she was never into physical intimacy. She was never curious sex and the only reason she had sex was because she knew she needed it to have kids.

I can't argue with that asexual idea but there is an ugly possibility. I've met two women one was in her 30's and the other in their 40's at the time who had never had sex at all once they became adults. Neither had ever had a relationship because of their aversion to men. Both had been sexually abused as children and and neither could imagine ever being intimate with a man.

Don't be a fucking idiot and bring this up. If this happens to be the case she will share when she decides.
 amazed84
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 41
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:10:23 PM
Just an update. I broke it off with her to be fair to us and the kids. Thank you for the useful comments from those of you trying to be helpful.

Secondly,
I am going to mention two people "Arlo_Troutman"and "overunity" and say you should be banned from giving people advice on here. I don't know if you were dropped on your heads or need your medication adjusted, but you need counseling on being better people.


Thirdly and lastly, go choke on it "Arlo_Troutman." You are the definition of "Whack-Job" as you call it .

Have a good day. Everyone. :-)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 42
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/30/2018 9:25:42 PM
^^^^^
Good call!
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 43
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 6:45:41 AM
Opie, or "Iamdazed84" if you prefer, you were correct to take my sage advice,
and smarten the fvck up, even if only temporarily.
You're welcome.
In your profile where you state "I think I am awesome and I won't change...", you should add "until well meaning people point out what a imbecile I can be sometimes".
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 44
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 9:27:53 AM

I don't know if you were dropped on your heads or need your medication adjusted, but you need counseling on being better people.

I have to say that is absofuckinglutely hilarious
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 45
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 2:26:07 PM

(amazed84) Just an update. I broke it off with her to be fair to us and the kids. Thank you for the useful comments from those of you trying to be helpful.

Secondly,
I am going to mention two people "Arlo_Troutman"and "overunity"...


... both of whom offered me wise advice, which, despite my initial egoism and immaturity, I followed. Thank you both.

*THAT* is how you express gratitude, Man-Child. Not by fussing and kvetching.


(amazed84) ... and say you should be banned from giving people advice on here.


Why? You followed it, and it worked. Again, you're welcome.


(amazed84) I don't know if you were dropped on your heads or need your medication adjusted, but you need counseling on being better people.


Interesting: we're brain-damaged and/or on meds, yet you followed our advice. For the third time, you're welcome.


(amazed84) Thirdly and lastly, go choke on it "Arlo_Troutman."


*ACK!!! HELP ME!!! I HAVE SOMETHING SMALL LODGED IN MY THROAT!!!*


(amazed84) Have a good day. Everyone. :-)


Awww! Why, thank you!
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 46
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 2:34:05 PM

ACK!!! HELP ME!!! I HAVE SOMETHING SMALL LODGED IN MY THROAT!!!*

Autofellatio......impressive :)
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 47
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 6:44:48 PM


(AT) ACK!!! HELP ME!!! I HAVE SOMETHING SMALL LODGED IN MY THROAT!!!*


(RoxyMoronic) Autofellatio......impressive :)


*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*

You realize, I might well have to marry you; I find a wicked sense of humour to be incredibly sexy...

Of course, you'll have a fight on your hands -- halcyon_skies isn't gonna give me up without a fight...
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 48
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 1/31/2018 9:52:39 PM

I HAVE SOMETHING SMALL LODGED IN MY THROAT!!!*


Well....
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 49
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Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 2/1/2018 6:37:49 AM
You could still be friends with her anyway which is kind of what it was like in the relationship if it is completely sexless?

You should always think of your happiness too, especially early in, before you're in too deep and it becomes difficult to call it off.
 uncleandme
Joined: 1/28/2018
Msg: 50
Girlfriend has sexual aversion
Posted: 2/3/2018 8:10:00 AM
I’d investigate before investing. Women are always ****ing someone.... I’m probably wrong but she has kids so she knows how. Ask questions of her whereabouts and if she gets pissed off? Walk.
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