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 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 26
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Red Flag Lists in People's ProfilesPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
He (it is a he?) sounds like a tremendous catch with a fantastic sense of humour. I quite like the way he doesn't include Catholics as Christians for example. I like the way he plays with words - liar and lawyer, edjumicated. I think it's quite a small pool he'll be fishing from though writing off half the population who didn't Trump for starters.
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 27
People are people - it's called preferences.
Posted: 2/1/2018 8:57:08 AM
Everyone has preferences and online, especially on POF - you'll encounter more quantity than anything else, so I can't fault anyone for listing what they don't want. No one wants to waste more time weeding through the undesirables, incompatible or those they don't find attractive.

Everyone has preference - no matter what. I wouldn't fault someone for their choices, it's their right and some harp, b*tch and moan, so much about others preferences, which I sometimes think it may be due to them not being a part of the person's preference.

Now what I do find ironic is if any woman says not to objectify her or that she's not looking for hookups, but all of her photos speak otherwise - all of her photos are suggestive. Sometimes the photos have to match the theme of what's said within the profile.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 28
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 10:09:41 AM
yooo that list is extensive
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 29
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 12:12:31 PM
I actually left a few out:

goldigger, people who want a partner for reasons other than love, such as to get out of the house, to have a baby, an arrangement between friends, or for appearances or political reasons.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 30
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 2:35:03 PM
I like red flag lists.
They're usually entertaining.
They're also helpful in pointing out what a person might have in their own dating personality - after all, how many people do you know who are both allergic to drama and a carrier of drama?

On the other hand, I'm definitely below a 5 on the attractive scale (someone had to be...) so I'll usually wait to meet people before I decide that their red flag quality is something I can't deal with.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 31
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 2:37:44 PM
2ufo, Welcome back!
LOL Red flag reminds me of a bullfight. Duck and run!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 32
People are people - it's called preferences.
Posted: 2/1/2018 3:56:34 PM
"Do tell, GTO! I thought Markus no longer was involved in POF so I was like...hmmmmm! And GTO, how are you in the know? ;0)"

>>>'cause i'm highly intelligent :)

*snort*

naw, I finally got a msg here, and found out it was Uncle Markus, and read it and thought WTF I haven't put up a photo...and then saw my profile had been altered. ah well, its a free site, I get what I pay for.

"so I can't find fault with anyone listing what they don't want"

>>>here, here. I don't eat from the dollar menu b/c I don't have to. some can call that elitist. others may do it themselves.

"Now what I do find ironic is if any woman says not to objectify her or that she's not looking for hookups, but all of her photos speak otherwise - all of her photos are suggestive."

>>>which, most likely, is exactly why she gets objectified. She doesn't want to admit, she's attracting exactly what she doesn't want. Its a perpetual motion machine. still, its amusing how many people complain about problems they are the source of.

:)
 snot2L8
Joined: 1/21/2018
Msg: 33
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 5:11:18 PM
If I state that putting red flags on your profile is a red flag on my profile.....does that make me a hypocrite?
 ShawnP1120
Joined: 1/21/2018
Msg: 34
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 5:58:11 PM

If I state that putting red flags on your profile is a red flag on my profile.....does that make me a hypocrite?


I think that counts as a sense of irony, which means yes, some will definitely interpret it as hypocritical
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 35
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/1/2018 7:28:24 PM
A list of red flags can be dealbreaker. Not interested in dating people that are negative or tactless in expressing what they are looking for.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 36
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/3/2018 11:23:15 AM
Hi LiR, Glad to be back... well, sort of, anyway.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. People who have red flag lists aren't really using them to disqualify meets and dates. They're using them like matadors - to see how close they can get to destruction for the excitement.

Olé.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 37
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People are people - it's called preferences.
Posted: 2/3/2018 2:31:38 PM

I wouldn't fault someone for their choices, it's their right and some harp, b*tch and moan, so much about others preferences, which I sometimes think it may be due to them not being a part of the person's preference.

Yeah, to an extent. I mean, just because something's your legal right, doesn't make it void of being a bad thing to themselves and/or others. Many many many things don't violate the law, but are pretty bad.

Listing a few things, a few things, that they don't want -- to weed out, I agree. But making their profile centered around it? That backfires.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 38
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/4/2018 4:23:01 PM

just found out today, markus is cleaning out all profile photos that don't have a human being in them. Too bad, that used to tell a lot about some people. memes they thought were wise or funny, for example.


We never did find out who your "connection" was GTO, but did THIS lead to your demise?

Did someone use, perhaps, a cartoonish drawing of Alice in Wonderland, the white rabbit & The Mad Hatter from the 2010 version of "Alice in Wonderland"?

cached internet pages on google search + "view source" , then looking at some html code tells me which recently nuked (was it authentic or a faux profile) did so.

Gives some insight to who the players were in the infamous 2015 crazy train thread...
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 39
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/4/2018 6:05:00 PM
People who tend to list a whole bunch of red flags generally tend to have a whole bunch of red flags to run up their flagpoles. They are usually wackier than the list they run from. A few preferences or likes and dislikes are ok but when you start making lists the problem might be you.
 WinonaMika
Joined: 11/27/2017
Msg: 40
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/5/2018 11:16:10 AM
I like red flags in profiles... Tells me right off the bat if the person is racist, political, etc.

Much easier than having a phone convo & the racism & militarism come pouring out... Bye-bye time!
 Call_me_Handy
Joined: 12/27/2017
Msg: 41
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/5/2018 12:43:06 PM
I have met a fair number of women who I messaged on here. Invariably what is in the profile will bleed over into real life. Couple of minor don't wants is fine, anything more than that and click next.

I will go for a pretty face as quick as anyone but there has to be some substance in the profile and negativity is a killer.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 42
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 9:38:06 AM
Red flags in a profile can be extremely hurtful and insulting to a person if the things on it are pieces of who is reading it possesses. Despite this, that person has a right to choose who he wants to date because nobody wants to make their life more complicated and deal with other people's sh*t. As many of us get older we know what we like and want and what we don't like and want in a partner.

Red flags can also cause folks who are reading it to retaliate and send messages with insults. These individuals are so hurt and feel put down that they feel the need to put the person with the red flags down. How do I know? I once wrote that I didn't want to date men who were overweight. I'm not overweight so feel I have the right to not have to date men who are. One obese man wrote me and told me I am a hideous looking big nosed woman. I replied with, "All my life I've had a big nose, I can't help it. However, a person who is overweight most of the time can loose weight".

If I could shave my nose down without surgery I would have done it many moons ago. Actually on ENT stated I needed my deviated septum fixed adding he could also reduce the the bulbousness of my nose. It's obvious I didn't go through the surgery as I didn't want my nose cut and peeled back and worked on like a construction site.

As some have said, a red flag list not only tells you what the person doesn't want but shares with the viewer some depth of who that person is which to me is bitter sweet. As we age their are less people to choose from and being too choosy can mean a person ends up alone. I have a friend who is too choosy. He is classically handsome, middle class, gives to the homeless and is a family man. Any time he sees a red flag in a woman it makes him immediately do a reverse. I don't think he's happy not being married but he's not open to changing his red flag list. We all have them. It just depends on how extensive they are in some cases.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 43
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 11:18:34 AM
Most experts/psychologists say best to be positive in any type of online dating site ad, so by listing all the "negatives" via red flag, a person can end up attracting the very things they profess to dislike.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 44
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Posted: 2/8/2018 2:00:21 PM

by listing all the "negatives" via red flag, a person can end up attracting the very things they profess to dislike.


Very true. Also, most people whose pickers are way off have the unfortunate but unsurprising habit of blaming everyone else for why they're unhappily single. Law of attraction, much??

Re: the topic, if a person had too much negativity on their profile, I'd wouldn't message them and I sure as hell wouldn't respond if they messaged me. Talk about dodging a bullet. No one wants to be around, let alone date, Negative Nancys or Neds.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 45
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Posted: 2/8/2018 2:24:16 PM
^^^^
"most people whose pickers are way off "

Care to define your idea of picker
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 46
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 4:52:46 PM

Red flags can also cause folks who are reading it to retaliate and send messages with insults. These individuals are so hurt and feel put down that they feel the need to put the person with the red flags down. How do I know? I once wrote that I didn't want to date men who were overweight. I'm not overweight so feel I have the right to not have to date men who are. One obese man wrote me and told me I am a hideous looking big nosed woman. I replied with, "All my life I've had a big nose, I can't help it. However, a person who is overweight most of the time can loose weight".


It really depends on how the red flag is stated. The way you put it could be construed as impolite---it doesn't surprise me in the least that you received an angry message from an obese man.

Instead of saying you don't want to date men who are overweight, you could have put it more tactfully, e.g. "I'm height/weight proportionate and I'm looking for the same trait in a man." It's always safer to state what you want, rather than what you don't want.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 47
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 5:00:07 PM
Yeah, there's a difference between a gal just merely knocking off a few Very Common dislike bullet points -- much like things she likes, just served for efficiency purposes for the site... VS being even in indirect voice of frustration or overly-pickiness about what gets under their skin.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 6:49:47 PM

Now what I do find ironic is if any woman says not to objectify her or that she's not looking for hookups, but all of her photos speak otherwise - all of her photos are suggestive.


This is common among the younger women.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 49
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 7:08:46 PM

Now what I do find ironic is if any woman says not to objectify her or that she's not looking for hookups, but all of her photos speak otherwise - all of her photos are suggestive.


This reminds me of a girl I mentioned here on the forums a few months back. After the Pulse shooting, she had a photographer take pictures of her naked body airbrushed yellow with the words "Orlando Strong" written out, as well. She posted them on Facebook, then threw a fit anytime a guy left a sexually suggestive comment.

She knew for every guy who left a comment of that nature, there would be TWENTY to come along with their white knight bullshit heroics to defend her. Big tantrum=more attention.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 50
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/8/2018 7:21:37 PM
Well let’s hope that most women on POF won’t post nude photos...yikes!
But then again, they’d be 20 year old photos anyway. :D
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