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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 76
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Red Flag Lists in People's ProfilesPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Based on things that women have told me, directly, both online and in person, women tend to have the best results on sites where men pay to message women, and women receive and reply for free.

I agree with your reasons why a guy paying brings best results for the gal too -- but, it doesn't hinge on gal-writes-for-free. tho. That just gets more girls in the door. As far as quality of messages/guys-writing -- it's just it being a pay-site in general that's better. Cuts out the guy riff-raff, which is good for the guys too.

What pay-site is it where girls don't have to pay to reply (but assuming they do for more than that)? I remember hearing about one site like that, but I think it was a sex site - lol.

I have used paid sites. But not a paid site where a person would have to pay a certain amount to send X amount of pictures.

I don't think they were implying about pay-to-send-pics... nor even pay for each message. I think just the standard pay a monthly fee for full-use (reading & writing people).
 totally_single
Joined: 9/11/2017
Msg: 77
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 11:24:28 AM
Interesting post. I will be honest here....I read the whole list. Now I'm pretty freaking fabulous.....but even I didn't make the cut....because I have a 1.5" tattoo that is covered by a bikini (you wouldn't even know I had it unless you saw me naked). I don't have a problem with people listing what they don't want in a mate because it keeps me from emailing them if I know that I don't meet their criteria. I will say that after doing online dating for 10 years....my red flag list has gotten whittled down pretty short.

And in response to this:

I remember seeing a profile that looked appealing ( well written, good pictures etc ) until the very end when he stated no obese women among other things. I can understand him not being attracted to that body type. But it's better to state a few things that you want/like instead a list of dislikes.

When a guy says this in his profile....that just tells me that he has a small****...as one of my guy friends told me one time....guys with small**** can't have sex with a woman with extra padding....his****is too short to reach the sweet spot :)
 FirstContact5757
Joined: 7/22/2017
Msg: 78
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 1:09:47 PM
Listing red flags sets a very negative tone, and I must admit that I assume it is a sign of a person with a negative personality. I've worked really hard to weed people out, but using positive language. Often, I can find the red flags reading their profile or in the initial messages. I'm just pleased if the person has actually read my profile (the scammers never do).
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 79
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 5:43:18 PM

I remember seeing a profile that looked appealing ( well written, good pictures etc ) until the very end when he stated no obese women among other things. I can understand him not being attracted to that body type. But it's better to state a few things that you want/like instead a list of dislikes.

When a guy says this in his profile....that just tells me that he has a small****...as one of my guy friends told me one time....guys with small**** can't have sex with a woman with extra padding....his****is too short to reach the sweet spot :)


If it means the man has a small ****, what does it mean in the case of women? I've seen the same "no overweight" request in women's profiles.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 80
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 6:05:12 PM
Not noticing or heeding the meaning of a RED FLAG could have grave consequences indeed.

Such things have caused train wrecks, heartbreak, life altering consequences and even death...... Such is life I guess.Keep livin' it till you can't no more. JMO.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 81
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 6:20:59 PM

Such things have caused train wrecks, heartbreak, life altering consequences and even death


YOU'RE CORRECT!
Today, someone pointed out a huge red flag of mine:

" it's totally unacceptable to showcase a pie with a store bought crust and call it homemade"

 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 82
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 6:49:06 PM
^^^No matter if it's homemade, or store bought, the true test is >>>>> TASTE.

It may look good.... But, it could all be man made, chemical laden and totally synthetic.

But, aren't we all if you really think about it?
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 83
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 7:04:04 PM

It may look good.... But, it could all be man made, chemical laden and totally synthetic.

But, aren't we all if you really think about it?


esp. when I am wearing spanx & an underwire bra
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 84
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/18/2018 10:28:06 PM
First. And foremost I very rarely read male profiles. That said the one that she is missing that I have seen a lot lately is "If you voted for contestant X in the most recent elections we have nothing in common...."
To me this reminds me a ton of the Duluth Domestic Violence wheel and the controlling of the other party. Having said that I always envision the person listing such red flags as someone close to matching Kathy Bates in Misery. Analogy works great for me.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 85
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:05:19 AM


When a guy says this in his profile....that just tells me that he has a small****


No, it doesn't "tell" you anything about his penis size if his penis size isn't actually mentioned.


...as one of my guy friends told me one time....guys with small**** can't have sex with a woman with extra padding....his****is too short to reach the sweet spot


Extra padding?? Is that the sugar-coated word for fat now?? I don't believe in viciously attacking people over their weight, but at the same time, this "fat acceptance" bullshit has to go. People are being encouraged to ACCEPT something they don't really want and COULD change if they wanted to. (barring a legitimate medical issue preventing it)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 86
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 7:23:28 AM

Now I'm pretty freaking fabulous.....


This is comedy gold...
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 87
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 7:56:24 AM

Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 901 AM
Posted By: ThePigOfYourDreams on 2/19/2018 8:05:19 AM
Subject: Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Message:

...as one of my guy friends told me one time....guys with small**** can't have sex with a woman with extra padding....his****is too short to reach the sweet spot

Extra padding?? Is that the sugar-coated word for fat now?? I don't believe in viciously attacking people over their weight, but at the same time, this "fat acceptance" bullshit has to go. People are being encouraged to ACCEPT something they don't really want and COULD change if they wanted to. (barring a legitimate medical issue preventing it)


https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/LA2-vx06-konsthallen-skulptur.jpg/800px-LA2-vx06-konsthallen-skulptur.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQOppPHIOHk
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 88
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 10:05:44 AM

When a guy says this in his profile....that just tells me that he has a small****...as one of my guy friends told me one time....guys with small**** can't have sex with a woman with extra padding....his****is too short to reach the sweet spot :)


Have you or any of your female friends had sex men with and without this stipulation on their profiles and compared results? LOL. Even if you did, it would probably be too small of a sample size to reach a conclusion. It is much likely these men simply aren't attracted to obese women and were tactless in stating their requirements.

Some people have made odd assumptions about penis size. I remember a few women on POF ( and elsewhere ) stating they didn't date short men because they think short men have small penises.
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 89
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 10:36:52 AM
Everytime I hear red flag I think of oh bargain deals the ladies will be having a shopfest on that.

I wonder if I put that as a headline what would happen? "Red Flagged get while hot going fast"? No ?

You think putting size of a man's junk and say so please no obese women would help them? I don't know but it definitely couldn't hurt them much they get nothing now.

It's just a thought but wouldn't it be easier to list the type of woman you actually want rather than a mess of don't wants? Example average height, fit lady who likes to exercise, enjoys outdoors and travel. I mean if they thought they deserved it they could even throw in attractive and preferred chest size don't think it would help them much but always slim possibility.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 90
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 10:55:53 AM
I just ran across a profile of a 45 year old woman whose intent is looking for someone to marry. Her profile says she's at a good point in her life with her career and raising her 15 year old son. She's looking for the right guy to settle down with.

Her marital status...separated. Unbelievable!
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 91
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 1:16:08 PM
^^^ probably one of those type that can’t fully leave a man till she’s got another one lined up 🤬
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 92
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 1:35:28 PM
@Cooldog People get the wrong impression about separated some people just don't want to pay for divorcing or can't. For years cause they can't even find them now it's a lot easier but 12-13 years ago good luck. Especially if they have no permanent address file for a divorce on that I seen it first hand. Separation due to lack of knowledge they don't need to know where spouse is just report it and ad goes up stating of the divorce intent, it's then up to the other party to get involved they don't make any contact divorce proceeds without them. You would be surprised how many people don't know that.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 93
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 6:35:54 PM
I find red flags useful. Better than invisible red flags. As a single mom, I like that you can see at the bottom of someone's profile if they will date someone with kids. I wish there were more red flags outlined in our profiles. I might message people more because then I'd know if I had a shot. I think it would save a lot of people time and effort if people put their red flags in their profiles. For me I would say no one under 5'9 because I'm a tall girl myself and I won't date a shorter man. However, I get messages from shorter guys and I make small talk and have to find a creative way to say I'm not interested. I feel too bad not replying to someone.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 94
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/19/2018 9:28:53 PM

"If you voted for contestant X in the most recent elections we have nothing in common...."


Yes, that's quite common in profiles right now.. I didn't vote for contestant X (and I had two chances), but I see that line and it's...NEXT!

If you tell me you're not interested in discussing politics or current events or that you are upset by the election results, I'm OK. But THAT line tells me that you are either terribly insecure or terribly rigid or that you (perhaps unknowingly) want a really weak man..

I work with SJW's all day, it's OK, but I have no desire to Wussy Phipped by one at home.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 95
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 8:57:19 AM

Seki1949
If you tell me you're not interested in discussing politics or current events or that you are upset by the election results, I'm OK. But THAT line tells me that you are either terribly insecure or terribly rigid or that you (perhaps unknowingly) want a really weak man..

It’s no secret that I am left leaning, politically speaking. I will date liberals, to middle-of-the road, to slightly right leaning. I will not date a T**** supporter, can’t go that far.

I will say this, based on my many years of personal experiences. Liberal women tend to be very open in the bedroom, while conservatives tend to be really uptight about everything. Just my experience, YMMV.

{donning flame proof suit and running for cover}
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 96
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 9:35:26 AM

I will say this, based on my many years of personal experiences. Liberal women tend to be very open in the bedroom, while conservatives tend to be really uptight about everything. Just my experience, YMMV.


My experience has been very mixed. I've been with those who totally looked the "sex kitten" part and seemed very "liberal", but didn't actually deliver, and on the other side, I've been with those who looked and acted very conservative but were total animals behind closed doors.

When I got into my 40's, I noticed an influx of professional/conservative types being interested in me, and it always seemed to be a case of them just getting out of a long-term marriage with a boring husband, and they were wanting to try what they perceived to be a "bad boy".

As for political leanings, I'm at a point where I don't want to hear jack shit about anything political anymore. If they open their mouths about it, I'm heading for the hills.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 97
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 1:43:12 PM
@ cooldog65

My mom was separated for 12 years from my father before she was able to get divorced. They ran out of money from the legal fighting. A lot of people do take years to get a divorce due to finances or legal obstacles.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 98
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 2:56:21 PM
its possible, conservative ladies may not feel comfortable enough around men who they suspect lean in the other direction, and sometimes, not feeling comfortable results in the ladies not "letting loose".
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 99
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Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 5:41:09 PM

Liberal women tend to be very open in the bedroom, while conservatives tend to be really uptight about everything.


I haven't found a firm trend either way. Perhaps my sample size is not as large as yours or geography matters.

YMMV
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 100
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/20/2018 7:05:29 PM

I haven't found a firm trend either way. Perhaps my sample size is not as large as yours or geography matters.


Same here. I never had sex or dated a woman that was ultra conservative. But I haven't noticed a general pattern or difference between Democrats, centrists, moderate Republicans, or apolitical women in the bedroom. Maybe age is a factor as well.
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