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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 101
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Red Flag Lists in People's ProfilesPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Sex kitten and the bad boy....
Sounds like the makings of a poem.

I think and feel most can attest to, "You can never
judge a book by it's cover."
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 102
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Posted: 2/21/2018 12:16:54 PM
^^^^
Or the title of a really tawdry romance...
I'd buy it.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 103
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Posted: 2/21/2018 4:12:24 PM

I think and feel most can attest to, "You can never judge a book by it's cover."


But SO many do.

It's the upbringing and conditioning we've gone through (thanks Disney...)

Very Attractive = very good
Unattractive = bad or creepy

Nobody says "a very attractive creepy man smiled at me on the bus today". ;-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 104
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Posted: 2/21/2018 7:15:13 PM

Sex kitten and the bad boy....
Sounds like the makings of a poem.

I think you misspelled that last word. I believe it's spelled 'porn'. ;)


I think and feel most can attest to, "You can never
judge a book by it's cover."
But SO many do.

It's the upbringing and conditioning we've gone through

I agree, but I don't think Disney gets a ton of credit for it. I think the core of it is just human nature. We're brought up bigtime by our surroundings/peers, too to help reinforce it.

Very Attractive = very good
Unattractive = bad or creepy

Yeah, I think that's a natural thing to some extent. Some folks, to a small or big degree, don't want to feel guilty or hypocritical when it comes to the opp-sex. It's easier to deal with if an unattractive person is crazy/weird/creepy/wacky.

Sally: It just sucks, Jenny! No guys like me! They're just into looks, and that's all they care about! They can't even say Hi and be friendly! The only ones who do are just hitting on me, trying to get in my pants!

Jenny: It's just a rough patch Sally, but yeah, guys do suck. They're so superficial.

(Time passes; Not-Attractive Bob getting a drink nearby Sally, and turns to her)

Bob: Hello... are you having a nice night tonight? ... I'm Bob, by the way... (smile)

Sally: Sorry, not interested! Buh bye!

Jenny: (chuckles a bit)

Sally: He was kind of creepy. Uggh, I hate creeps! No thanks!
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 105
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Posted: 2/21/2018 8:58:40 PM

I agree, but I don't think Disney gets a ton of credit for it. I think the core of it is just human nature.

Thanks for your comment on that...

Every kid has seen the Disney Princess live happily ever after with the Handsome Prince.
It and Hollywood have largely shaped our subconscious so it is now "part of our human nature" I think.
Your above "bar scene" happens somewhere every day because of it.
Every women thinks she's the Princess (dons flameproof suit)

Unattractive = BIG Red Flag
(even though the unattractive person isn't "guilty" of anything other than living at this point)

Everyone knows nobody will read your profile if you don't have a pic looking like an underwear model. LOL
So when they send out a message with no response at all back, the unspoken message is:
"How dare you assume I’d be interested in you."
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 106
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Posted: 2/21/2018 8:59:00 PM

I believe it's spelled 'porn'. ;)




A porn poem....I'm on it!
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 107
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/22/2018 3:34:31 PM

So when they send out a message with no response at all back, the unspoken message is:
"How dare you assume I’d be interested in you."


No, the unspoken message is: "I'm not interested in you---however, I'm not going to tell you this, because I don't want to get a rude, sour grapes message back from you stating that you were never interested in a **** **** like me, anyway."
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 108
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Posted: 2/22/2018 4:51:25 PM

So when they send out a message with no response at all back, the unspoken message is:
"How dare you assume I’d be interested in you."


Based on your other thread (Online dating sucks), you are striking out in this medium.

OLD is not a good fit for every personality. For one thing, you are taking your "rejections" far too personally, by assuming you know what another person is thinking about you ("How dare you assume I’d be interested in you.").

OLD is a DIFFERENT platform than dating In Real Life (IRL).

It is a numbers game. You are exposed to thousands of people with whom you would never cross paths IRL. Many people ARE overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it all. Many people find it necessary to make quick decisions in the process of weeding out all the potential matches, which may seem capricious, "picky" or unrealistic to you.

You have no control over how or why other people use this site. You may find a better experience if you return to meeting people, socially, IRL.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 109
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Posted: 2/22/2018 5:29:01 PM

A porn poem....I'm on it!

My porn-poem from 8th grade:
Roses are red,
Your vagina is too,
I'm hung like a horse,
It'll turn your face blue.

Every kid has seen the Disney Princess live happily ever after with the Handsome Prince.

Yeah, but that has been done a Long time ago. So changes over the past several decades hasn't been due to that. I think it's been more the parents/teachers/older-peers more nowadays Amping up that notion.

Every women thinks she's the Princess (dons flameproof suit)

Naw, that's quite untrue. Yes, many gals may think they're more attractive than they are -- but one study showed a self-contradiction. Among people in general. Many don't think they're sufficiently good looking "enough", but of those, many still think they're better looking than they are.

From my experience, females actively out in the social scene (or online local scene I guess too), can tend to think they're better looking than they are, indirectly: By what type of guy they "deserve". Even when they are overly-down or self-critical of their own looks. What fuels this though, IMO, is that a gal going out to the bar or online -- ie social environments with opp-sex -- can get the wrong impression when she's socially active. Guys who are better looking than her will be willing to "hook up" and "mack" on her, etc. A gal can think it's "just guys" when that's all they want. But it's not. Given the opportunity, almost All of us are going to choose to aim for the better-looking Opportunities. And that's what they have more of VS guys, comparatively.

So average Jane or below Jane gals can get the impression they're better looking than they are by measuring the looks of the guys they can "get" -- but it's "guy's in general" in their mind who don't want to go-steady, when that's not really the whole truth. It's that guys are willing to fool around with those he's not fully attracted to, where girls won't. I'm generalizing a trend, but it's a real trend out there to a noticeable extent. So yeah, you can find a gal who's an Average Jane who thinks she's above-average Jane. If an Average Joe's a stranger to her, well, she can get an Above average Joe to flirt, mack, etc with her at the bar or online... soo, Average Joe thinks she thinks she's hotter than she really is. To some extent that very well may be true, but really -- we as guys would be doing the same thing. :)

Everyone knows nobody will read your profile if you don't have a pic looking like an underwear model. LOL

Not true. They'll at least read it if you're somewhat attractive. Reply to your message if you're better looking than the umpteenth guy writing them. Remember: Even average-Janes have tons o emails rolling in.

So when they send out a message with no response at all back, the unspoken message is:
"How dare you assume I’d be interested in you."

No... I think you're letting your frustration get the best of you. You can roll your eyes at gals taking their position in the dating field for granted -- which I do fully believe. But they're not uppity/posh/rude/snooty about things, in general. It's best Not to write someone back if you're not interested. There's no reason to. Why? Just to say "I'm not interested?" You're not knocking at their door, or tapping them on the shoulder. Nor waiting around on any decisions from their response like they have a dresser for sale. You're just sending a message to a profile, to see if they bite or not. You write, move on. If you're waiting on a response by them -- you have the wrong mindset of what really goes on. :)
 totally_single
Joined: 9/11/2017
Msg: 110
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/23/2018 8:03:47 AM
Okay....now I would like to open up a whole new can of worms in this thread. Since the last several messages refer to women or men as being attractive/unattractive.....we do realize that attractive to one person is unattractive to another? We didn't all come out of the same mold and we are all wired differently, therefore what each of us finds attractive is different. Now, with that said, I think we can all take a shower, wash our hair, put on clean clothes that are complementary and females can add a little make up to enhance ourselves to make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex. I've met a bunch of people with the mindset "this is who I am, take it or leave it" that don't put any effort at all into personal grooming or clothing selection. It doesn't take a ton of money, just a little bit of time and effort. I would say that the biggest thing that makes someone unattractive is their attitude, that comes from the inside, not the outside.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 111
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:23:08 PM
"we do realize, what is attractive to one, is not necessarily to the other?"

>>we've discussed this in prior threads, that Hollywood tends to pay the super-physically attractive stars more, b/c it believes their physical attractiveness is universal and more likely to get fannies into theatre seats (say, for example, Scarlett Johannson in the movie, Lucy). The closer one veers towards an average appearance, the more their attractiveness is subjective. For example, someone might think their boss is "do-able" just b/c its the boss and there's a taboo to it. a woman who takes care of her appearance and carries herself with a confidence to be sexual with anyone who interests her, can inspire men to claim, "I don't know what it is about her, but damn...". We can lose our interest in these particular people as soon as we get it. maybe the full moon phase passes, or maybe the status that turned us on, disappears or maybe they come to work with a bad hair day and not wearing their corset and we've changed our mind.

Personality can be attractive. Where I used to work, I flirted at levels that would make MeToo clutch its chest. Every Christmas party, an elderly coworker, after a few glasses of wine, would separate from her husband and invade my private space--the equivalent of flirting, for her. Neither of us made a point about it, she probably didn't realize she was doing it, and I was sober and wasn't going to ever embarrass her to question it. She had a wine buzz on, was feeling good, and no harm was done--her husband knew me, respected me, and if he even knew "what" was going on, was surely not going to blow a circuit over something so small.

some people, we meet the first time, and we want to take them to bed. Others, we want to take on a date. I prefer voluptuous women to skinny ones, but I've seen some pretty faces I would love to make out with...and never remove a stitch of clothing b/c they probably have the figure of a boy. so, does that mean they are (in my view) attractive but not sexy?

"attractive" may actually be a vague word. I suspect, tho, it still has the power to put a proverbial foot in the door. Companies hire attractive people to make cold call sales for a reason...we probably will be willing to stand there and listen to their spiel for a few seconds longer than the unattractive person, who truly has nothing we want. that may be a cold cruel thing to say about the world, but....we are all programmed to procreate. we're biologically wired to respond to what we think will strengthen the species, not weaken the gene pool.

of course, the levels of physical attractiveness, on a scale of 1-10 or whatever one wants to use, is a touchy subject. Those who aren't clearly hot to the majority, are jealous. Those who are, aren't comfortable that their attractiveness has little to do with their personality but with something they can't control. A woman with a large bossom may be as disinterested in the initial response she gets from strangers, as the fellow with a large trust fund. they aren't sure what attraction is real. they wish to be wanted for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.

 Akitahun
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 112
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Posted: 7/4/2018 11:58:56 PM
50 year old men looking for 18 year olds. Have seen this way too much. Are you nuts going after someone just out of high school?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 113
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Posted: 7/5/2018 1:30:38 AM
^^^ It's not against the law.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 114
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Posted: 7/5/2018 8:11:03 AM
I totally judge books by their covers.
I've found it's a good initial assessment
of things to come. I might change my mind,
but I'm confident in first impressions.

Of course, I work in a bookstore PT and I
might be biased. Lots of covers are neutral
and open to different interpretations, but
sucky covers are sucky books.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 115
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Posted: 7/5/2018 8:32:56 AM

50 year old men looking for 18 year olds. Have seen this way too much. Are you nuts going after someone just out of high school?

It's only nuts if they can't get them and/or a Real Relationship is on their mind. Most guys 50+ can't get them. However, if you see a guy's age range like 18-50, it doesn't at all mean he would expect an 18 or 19 year old gal to be fraternizing with him. He's just not ruling it out. I'd be like me putting "5-10" on my dating profile 'standard' list on a dating website. I don't expect an actual 10/10 in looks -- one way out of my league, but, I'm not going to weed them out. :)

Personality can be attractive.

I agree -- it can change how we view them when we Look at them. And looks can do the same thing about persona, too. Usually gut-level pre-judging involved...

the levels of physical attractiveness, on a scale of 1-10 or whatever one wants to use, is a touchy subject. Those who aren't clearly hot to the majority, are jealous.

I agree. Some folks want to believe looks is 100% relative, which it's not even close. Others don't like it because it heeds people back too much. And others fear doing that is going to (wince) put them on some scale in which they fear the results, or (uggh) get a result that's way off too low (which will happen from someone of course).
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 116
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Posted: 7/5/2018 9:12:15 AM
I'd had bad luck with single mothers, but for me, the biggest red flag is something nutty like being polyamorous.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 117
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Posted: 7/5/2018 10:22:04 AM

50 year old men looking for 18 year olds. Have seen this way too much. Are you nuts going after someone just out of high school?


LOLOLOLOL!!!! They're just looking to get their**** wet. And the 18-year-olds may be expecting some financial compensation. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. Otherwise, I can't see any other logical reason why an 18-yo girl would be fraternizing with a 50-yo man - or vice versa.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 118
Red Flag Lists in People's Profiles
Posted: 7/5/2018 11:13:12 AM
I used to work w/ a 50 yr old dating an 18 yr old from a dysfunctional family. He had her maturity, and seemed to like playing Daddy...until he got teased mercilessly about showing off. He even brought in photos of something one time and "forgot" he had topless photos of her at the end. I mean, sheesh. then they got married, divorced, she put me on FB for some reason and now she's shacked up with another greyhair to get away from a cougar aunt who used her large cleavage for bait.

some families are just so #$ing awesome.
 Rockfan2010
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 119
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Posted: 7/5/2018 1:55:23 PM
I was conned by someone who said he was DIVORCED.... no He was MARRIED! And YES, SEPARATED is still MARRIED.
I have this in my profile, because next time I want to see the Divorce papers! WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN
Plenty of LIARS on here!
 Rockfan2010
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 120
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Posted: 7/5/2018 2:01:39 PM
I get young guys in their 20's & 30's & I am over 50. I'm not looking for a son!
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 121
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Posted: 7/5/2018 2:26:35 PM
Well, hello there. I'm a rock fan, too. Sedimentary is my jam.

How about you??
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 122
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Posted: 7/5/2018 3:51:43 PM

I was conned by someone who said he was DIVORCED.... no He was MARRIED! And YES, SEPARATED is still MARRIED.

I wouldn't call that "conned". He was at least half right if he moved out. You were lied to, which isn't cool. If someone found out they were Separated but not Divorced on their 1st meetup/date, then it'd hardly be the lie of the month.

I get young guys in their 20's & 30's & I am over 50. I'm not looking for a son!

Well, them being 25-35 shouldn't give anyone the impression that they're their parent. I can understand not wanting to go there if you have kids who are their age, and still in the same general area, as you don't want to cross-paths with people they know. But it'd be silly if someone who's over 50 can't find anyone who's 25, 30, or 35 sexually attractive.

Otherwise, I can't see any other logical reason why an 18-yo girl would be fraternizing with a 50-yo man - or vice versa.

I can see the vice-versa. A 50-year old guy being up for dating an 18-year old girl who Was into him. The only thing I would see holding back a typical 50-year old guy is when it's LTR-minded: "Is this a joke? Why would she want to?" That said, for just a Vegas fling, if the 50 year old guy's in good shape, it wouldn't be That crazy of a thing for the 18 year old to be willing to hook up.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 123
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Posted: 7/8/2018 2:12:49 PM
"Not good about taking myself up if you want to know something just ask."

Copied from a man's profile. Can't quite decide if this is a red flag, yellow flag or a cry for help. "Hey sir, need new wings?"
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 124
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Posted: 7/9/2018 6:46:38 PM

"Not good about taking myself up if you want to know something just ask."


That's oxymoronic.

What good is asking if you're not very good at talking about yourself from the start?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 125
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Posted: 7/9/2018 7:00:13 PM
………... taking...………. myself up...………..

LOL Loook closely, the letter l is missing.
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