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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?      Home login  
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 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 26
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Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Alas, I truly do not believe unrequited love can be reasoned with, at the best of times. I've even experienced it, and it doesn't matter how platonically the other person behaves, you just keep reading into stuff. ("Maybe NOW...")

On the other hand, if what this gentleman is experiencing is leaning heavily toward a problem of unfufilled sex, I would recommend a sort of harm reduction approach. At the risk of sounding crude, it might help for him to pleasure himself before going out with her.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 27
Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Posted: 2/17/2018 12:32:09 PM

On the other hand, if what this gentleman is experiencing is leaning heavily toward a problem of unfufilled sex, I would recommend a sort of harm reduction approach. At the risk of sounding crude, it might help for him to pleasure himself before going out with her.


I think it's more than just blue balls with the OP. He's developed deeper feelings for her. At this juncture, his best course of action is to cut her out of his life completely. I don't think he can deal with being platonic friends with her at this time. It's too painful for him.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 28
Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Posted: 2/18/2018 12:30:20 PM
The first time you dated her - 7 years ago - it was obvious she was never going to fall for you - the ex was just an excuse.

You get one chance per lifetime with a person. This is not the fantasy world of movies, this is reality. If you don't believe this, you may waste a lot time and have unnecessary pain.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Posted: 2/19/2018 12:45:01 PM

It was stormy [Previous GF] because I came to understand that my ex was Borderline Personality Disorder and a serial liar.

Then that shows a pattern of the type of women you chase. You're going after girls who are out of your league, as far as looks go. There's many times going to be a "catch". It also shows you're willing to put up with it too much and they'll walk all over ya. "But how am I supposed to win them over?!" one may ask. You don't. Ironically, situations like this will make many want to prove to themselves they Can get said gals on a higher pedestal, and the drama continues. :)

There's No success in dating or becoming a BF to a great looker who's f-d up. We should grow out of that thru our experiences in our 20s once we see the pattern among our peers. Sometimes though, guys Could get said level of girls in their 20s, but once 35+, don't realize that he's more than 1-step back in that dept, and keep chasing high-level gals. No, 2 months of a gym membership ain't going to do it -- be dedicated for a 6 month overhaul, with a focus more than just getting a real hot chick... is what I told one of my old friends stuck in that zone. When you Can more feasibly get gals on a higher-level, you'll Walk when they're cray-cray. Because landing some dates or going steady by itself isn't a crazy wonder catch.

I am good friends with a woman I used to date.I first met her on OKC around 3 years ago.

That can happen, although in the minority. Usually when we end up having mutual friends and such, and they're really cool. But...

Still our physical intimacy never really went beyond a few good night kisses and after about 3 months of dating she told me that she would just like to be friends.

Holy hell -- seriously? News flash: You weren't REALLY dating her. A gay friend is going to get a few good night kisses of 3 months of going out - lol. You were just a friend the whole time. That's not "patience", that's no interest on her part. Plain and simple. Ouch. Personally, referring to her with friends, I'd leave it at "We went out on some dates, but she was never interested, and we just became friends." I'd hate to admit I ran thru that faux gauntlet! :)

Back to OP...

On the other hand, if what this gentleman is experiencing is leaning heavily toward a problem of unfufilled sex, I would recommend a sort of harm reduction approach. At the risk of sounding crude, it might help for him to pleasure himself before going out with her.

That's not it, though. "Don't go out there with a loaded gun" is something you tell an Impatient guy. OP was way too idealistic & patient with the situation, getting his hopes up... thinking something was there when there Never Was. Not even a little, even though it'll save oneself a Little embarrassment thinking there was at least a little.

You tell guys to "unload the gun before going to the range", when he pushes for sex too much with gals he's not that attracted to (the bars, online dates, etc). His was chasing a gal who wasn't really into him, while thinking something was there.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 30
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Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Posted: 2/20/2018 8:04:24 AM

Posted By: norwegianguy456 on 2/19/2018 201 PM
Subject: Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Message:

I am good friends with a woman I used to date.I first met her on OKC around 3 years ago.

That can happen, although in the minority. Usually when we end up having mutual friends and such, and they're really cool. But...

Still our physical intimacy never really went beyond a few good night kisses and after about 3 months of dating she told me that she would just like to be friends.

Holy hell -- seriously? News flash: You weren't REALLY dating her. A gay friend is going to get a few good night kisses of 3 months of going out - lol. You were just a friend the whole time. That's not "patience", that's no interest on her part. Plain and simple. Ouch. Personally, referring to her with friends, I'd leave it at "We went out on some dates, but she was never interested, and we just became friends." I'd hate to admit I ran thru that faux gauntlet! :)


Lol,well then we were friends the whole time.There were many reasons it didn't turn into an intimate relationship and it is probably better that it didn't.
 RenewedVigor2018
Joined: 2/5/2018
Msg: 31
Friendzone, Timeout or friendship-ending?
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:30:49 AM
You should move on and keep the friendship going. Besides, the right one may be a bridesmaid at her wedding or someone you meet while enjoying the friendship because her life opens yours to that possibility.

I have enough women friends to know... it is perfectly fine to be that available, straight friend who never asks her for sex or a relationship as she can pass that information on to her girlfriends resulting in them acknowledging that all the "single decent ones" aren't either dead or married. The doors of possibility just open up from there!
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