Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Jessi I live your pain of loss....sorry for no mother should have to bury their children

CoolD that was priceless.

I personally like ppl around my age.
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 27
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 6:52:58 PM

Meetup is a "hook up group"?


That made me laugh out loud, thanks Henry!
Sounds to me like she is too old for you.....hahhahahaha!

As far as age goes in dating - I usually like 5 years either way. The ex-husband was 8 years older. I found as I got older, like bridging the gap a bit, if there was one. I guess it just depends on the person. To each his/her own.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 7:04:04 PM
^^^ Welcome back under better circumstances.

She said "depends", too...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 8:09:51 PM

Cynderella: Jessi I live your pain of loss....sorry for no mother should have to bury their children
CBGB77: Oh Jessi,so sorry for your loss.
I'm very sorry Jessi. Just terrible.

thanx team - while it was 29 years ago and I'm real with it, that wasn't offered as way to gain sympathy, but provided for anyone nitpicking my profile and indicating 'no mention of a daughter'... Yanno, there are the nitty pickers...
(if anything, it reminds my son that he can't lay a guilt trip on me... given that "one of us is going before the other" if he goes first - I'm not burying him, I already have plans for his ashes. **we are a very pragmatic family pair**)



Meetup is a "hook up group"?

DANG... wait till I tell my ladies that meet for coffee, Devonshire teas and "stitch&****" sessions... oh, and the Sunday afternoon foreshore picnics....



CurvyLady1965: There are some in their seventies I find very attractive, yet there are some barely 50 who don't manage to wear it well.

I hear you there... we have a lot of 'gentlemens' who have broken themselves - this makes trying to meet someone to even keep up with my lifestyle of 'gentle' runs... difficult...


She said "depends", too...

damn, 'Depends' translates to "Teena's" over here... so when I saw a profile with "Seeking Teena" as a catchphrase, I was a wee bit **wink** curious as to what type of person would advertise this dependency....

and wouldn't you know it, just as I start looking at threads, in the 'users' line - neatly lodged in there is a photo of a young thang, pretty sure he was 'naked' under that glistening oil.... (frame stopped at the 'bottom' of the abdominal pack... ) and "whew"... thought I was a young woman again.... lol
yeup, need to remember my own 'reality ranges'... lol
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 8:45:10 PM
Oh dang,I just asked the young lady I was exchange messages with if she would like to "meetup"! Hope she didn't think I wa s suggesting something untoward.
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 31
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 9:22:19 PM

Welcome back under better circumstances.


CoolD - THANKS! and yes, much better circumstances and it did not take 3 years like the last time. Woot! Woot!


She said "depends", too.


Yes, I did say depends....and I hope I don't have to wear them anytime soon. :P

On topic, in early January, I had a few messages from men in the low 30 age range (had profiles claiming to be 45 but noted their true age in the profile write up) I don't think I could ever date a guy in his 30's.....too young. I recall years back when I was on OK-C site, I received a message from a 20 year old male.....good grief.....ugh. Flattered - nope. Laughed - you betcha.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 32
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 8:34:37 AM
"It seems like most of the woman who contact me first are my age or older."

And? Is there a problem with this? You are willing to date younger but not give women the same courtesy.

What I noticed about older men is the older they get the older they look. Some men look a lot younger than their biological age when in their fifties but after that most all seem to age rapidly. When I was 18 I dated a 36 year old. When I was 27 I dated a 47 year old. At the age I am now I am not interested in dating someone 10+ years older.

Why not give older women a shot? They may surprise you. If my mom lived in your area I'd set you up with her. She is 69, slender, doesn't dress like an older women, and looks awesome. What she has most to offer is who she is.

"On topic, in early January, I had a few messages from men in the low 30 age range (had profiles claiming to be 45 but noted their true age in the profile write up) I don't think I could ever date a guy in his 30's.....too young. I recall years back when I was on OK-C site, I received a message from a 20 year old male.....good grief.....ugh. Flattered - nope. Laughed - you betcha."

^^^I don't think there is one 40+ women on POF who cannot make the same statement. To me it's NOT flattering. They goal is to get another notch in their belt and laugh and giggle with their friends letting them know they banged an older women.
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 33
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 9:58:56 AM

I don't think there is one 40+ women on POF who cannot make the same statement. To me it's NOT flattering. They goal is to get another notch in their belt and laugh and giggle with their friends letting them know they banged an older women.


^^^^ I don't disagree with the above. And, I am sure there are those 40 + women who don't mind talking about how they hooked up with some hot, younger man for a booty call....? I imagine it works both ways.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 10:19:34 AM

...... "half your age plus 7" that some people point to when asked what is the socially-acceptable minimum age of anyone you want to date but I think that changes as you grow older


The origin is this theory is from the Prophet Muhammad. It is intended for younger men when choosing a wife.

I am not Muslim, and do not adhere to the teachings of Muhammad. I do adhere to another saying:


"Age ain't nuthin' but a number"


I don't go by the numbers, but how active and fit the man in question is. I am very active and enjoy hiking, bicycling, boating, walking tours and outdoor fun. Since I am over 55 it is pretty hard to find someone my age who is in shape enough to join me. I'm open to younger men as young as 50. And would date someone older too, if they were in shape.

I have been approached by younger men, but not interested. They are mostly looking for a "fling". And I don't have time to have my time wasted.

As other posters, have mentioned, people in the over 50 group can look many years older or younger than one might guess. So I'll concur that the man in question -- not the numbers on his birth certificate -- matters.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 1:52:21 PM

The origin is this theory is from the Prophet Muhammad. It is intended for younger men when choosing a wife.

I am not Muslim, and do not adhere to the teachings of Muhammad. I do adhere to another saying:


At the age 25, Muhammad wed his wealthy employer, the 40-year-old merchant Khadija. In another narration, it is reported that she was only 28 years old,[14][15][16] given that she had four children with Muhammad after their marriage.[17][self-published source] This marriage, his first, would be both happy and monogamous;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad%27s_wives

Scholars believe the “half your age plus 7 “ “rule” ordinated in a humorous book by a French author and was quoted in the past by various American’s.

So it started as a kind of a joke.


The "never date anyone under half your age plus seven" rule is a rule of thumb sometimes used to prejudge whether an age difference is socially acceptable.[62][63][64] Although the origin of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes considered to have French origin.[62]

In earlier sources, the rule had a different interpretation than in contemporary culture, as it was understood as a formula to calculate ideal age for the bride, instead of a lower limit for the suitable age. Max O'Rell's Her Royal Highness Woman from 1901 gives the rule in the format "A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven."[65] Similar interpretation is also present in the 1951 play The Moon Is Blue by F. Hugh Herbert.[66]

The half-your-age-plus seven rule also appears in John Fox, Jr.'s The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come in 1903,[67] in American newspapers in 1931, attributed to Maurice Chevalier,[68] and in The Autobiography of Malcolm X.[69]


I am more of a self-directed human and tend to adhere to rules I make up for myself and not to what others preach.

Though to be practical, most advice from experts is generally what I end up agreeing with anyway, which turns out to be sensible. I certainly wouldn’t “do the opposite” just because a Prophet had said something.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 2:16:03 PM

My first wife was 20 and I was 35 when we were married and my second wife was 10 years younger than me but now I feel like it is inappropriate for me to try to contact woman that much younger than me. It seems like most of the woman who contact me first are my age or older. What do you think is the proper age range for my search parameters?


I believe you should think for yourself, search for those you find both desirable and likely to respond.

But I don’t get your logic as to why it would be inappropriate.

My first wife was 7 years older, my current wife is 23 years younger, and I met her when I was 59.

I don’t have very much experience with women contacting me first, my only dating site in the USA was eharmony, and a computer does the matching. Though men and women do elect to start a dialog based on that match. When I was able to choose whom to contact, I tended to contact women I found interesting regardless of age.

However, I was contacted by a woman who was 18 when I was 60, chatting with her made me a little queasy. Just too big an age difference for me to deal with.

If I were dating, I think about 35 years younger and 10 years older would be my outside range. The “half your age plus 7” joke means that a 100 year old woman can safely date a 57 year old man without raising eyebrows.

While I don’t have a real age rule, I do want someone that isn’t going to be out of breath walking up a couple of flights of stairs.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 37
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 3:34:13 PM
"...I Do want someone that isn't going to be out of breath walking up a coupe of flights of steps. "

Hopefully your 67 year old wife won't mind if you're breathless at 90!

My dad married a woman younger than I...they were happy until he died. She really did honour.." For better or worse". I think whatever is appropriate is what fits both of you. But huge age gaps can be challenging for sure.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 3:43:37 PM

At the age 25, Muhammad wed his wealthy employer, the 40-year-old merchant Khadija. In another narration, it is reported that she was only 28 years old,[14][15][16] given that she had four children with Muhammad after their marriage.[17][self-published source] This marriage, his first, would be both happy and monogamous;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad%27s_wives

Scholars believe the “half your age plus 7 “ “rule” ordinated in a humorous book by a French author and was quoted in the past by various American’s.

So it started as a kind of a joke.



Thanks for an interesting take,

My source of information was the Hadith. As quite the scholar, you probably already know that some of the Hadith accounts attributed to Muhammad MAY not be quite factual. However the Hadith, does predate other sources named on this site.

You probably also know that Muhammad later married Aisha, who was said to be nine years old at that time.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 3:54:13 PM
I read Muhammad married Aisha when she was seven years old but did not have sex with her until she was nine.
 Trancelot
Joined: 1/25/2018
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 4:57:14 PM
10 years either side of mine otherwise I find you lose too much in common.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 5:32:50 PM

You probably also know that Muhammad later married Aisha, who was said to be nine years old at that time.


Yes, I knew that, but thought someone else would being it up and keep the convo going, some say she was 9 or 10. It seems he had 13 wives, most which were widows, but a couple were maybe concubines.

But who cares what someone did 2500 years ago, it doesn't seem very relevant.

Trump's wife is 24 years younger, while Emmanuel Macron President of France's wife is 24 years older.

I hardly think men dating younger women is a Muslim invention.

My point is, do what you like and don't adhere to someone else's rules, and don't try and just do the opposite of what someone else is preaching. If the Hadith says women should only marry men, would you say you aren't a Muslim, so you are going to marry a woman?
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 42
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 5:36:01 PM
"^^^^ I don't disagree with the above. And, I am sure there are those 40 + women who don't mind talking about how they hooked up with some hot, younger man for a booty call....? I imagine it works both ways."

I thought about this flip side after I wrote my post. Of course older women could share/brag that they slept with a hot young bod but any older woman can do that so really there isn't much to be proud of and if the older woman boasts about it then she needs some growing up to do. When a younger guy does it he is young so has an excuse.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 6:00:36 PM

Hopefully your 67 year old wife won't mind if you're breathless at 90!

Good point, quite valid and something I did think about when talking to the 18 year old. (BTW: I was thinking about my own mother who is now 91 and starting to really slow down.) For sure someone that is 40 years younger would be impossible at all ages for me to “keep up” with.


I do think being married for the next 25 years let’s one get accustomed to the advancing years. But honestly, It’s a toss up if my current wife will be able to keep up when she is 67 and I am 90, right now I am disappointed that she lacks any endurance. If I ride a bike 30 miles, she can only make 5 miles, hiking, etc. I keep tying to encourage her to hit the gym more often, and not just to soak in a jacuzzi tub.


10 years either side of mine otherwise I find you lose too much in common.

I think that’s a spurious argument that ignores what is important in a relationship.

What’s important and immutable is shared values and character. What concert I went to 30 years ago and what TV programs I watched when in grade school don’t create much of an enduring bond.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 9:18:51 PM

But who cares what someone did 2500 years ago, it doesn't seem very relevant.


LOL! Wrong prophet.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/16/2018 9:36:40 PM


But who cares what someone did 2500 years ago, it doesn't seem very relevant.


LOL! Wrong prophet.


Right prophet bad math, I read 570 CE and thought BCE. Now that I think about it, Muhammad did come after Christ. Not sure who was a popular religious leader 600 BCE.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/17/2018 2:16:26 AM
You earn points for admitting a mistake. All too rare on the Internet.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/17/2018 7:59:29 AM

Posted By: wadeinwaves on 2/16/2018 1037 AM
Subject: Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Message: "It seems like most of the woman who contact me first are my age or older."

And? Is there a problem with this? You are willing to date younger but not give women the same courtesy.

What I noticed about older men is the older they get the older they look. Some men look a lot younger than their biological age when in their fifties but after that most all seem to age rapidly. When I was 18 I dated a 36 year old. When I was 27 I dated a 47 year old. At the age I am now I am not interested in dating someone 10+ years older.

Why not give older women a shot? They may surprise you. If my mom lived in your area I'd set you up with her. She is 69, slender, doesn't dress like an older women, and looks awesome. What she has most to offer is who she is.


Yes thank you wadeinwaves,I agree with everything you say. I have dated older women and my search criteria goes to age 70. I'm sure your mom is a beautiful woman,please send her my regards.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/17/2018 11:31:38 AM

wadeinwaves
I thought about this flip side after I wrote my post. Of course older women could share/brag that they slept with a hot young bod but any older woman can do that so really there isn't much to be proud of and if the older woman boasts about it then she needs some growing up to do. When a younger guy does it he is young so has an excuse.

Here, let me fix that for you:


Of course older women could share/brag that they slept with a hot young bod but any ATTRACTIVE older woman can do that

There, much better.


DragonBytes
What’s important and immutable is shared values and character. What concert I went to 30 years ago and what TV programs I watched when in grade school don’t create much of an enduring bond.

Hey, welcome back, John, good to see a familiar face!

I do agree with what you said, above. And I am coming around to the opinion that I shouldn’t care so much about what happens 30 years from now. First, I’m not likely to live another 30 years, and second, how many marriages or relationships of any kind last 30 years? Some, yes, but only a small minority. If you can get 10 good years out of a relationship, I think you are WAY ahead of the game.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/17/2018 4:50:56 PM


Of course older women could share/brag that they slept with a hot young bod but any ATTRACTIVE older woman can do that


There, much better.


gotta say this is untrue also, any woman can get a hot young guy(s or even more than 1 willing to meet her for a menage a trois). any time she wants to. the internet is pretty awesome for that.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/17/2018 11:20:16 PM
First mani dated from IRL after my divorce was 24 years younger than I. I accepted the date not knowing his age. We had a good time together. I wasn't looking for a LTR at the time, so I figured what the heck, enjoy his company. But then he decided I wanted a LTR and he decided not to see me anymore. He lives a few blocks from me, and I run into him occasionally at the local drug store. Told me he'd been sober 4 years. He's gone back to drinking now based on the qt bottle he was buying last time I saw him.

If I were still looking, I would prefer someone near my own age, but wouldn't automatically exclude anyone with 10 years either way. When I was on okc and dh, I got lots of messages from really young men. Mostly they made me laugh.

Current BF of 2+years is 4 months younger than me. He did have hilariously bad profile pics. But he wrote politely. Don't exclude everybody in your search.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?