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 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 26
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Instant turn awaysPage 2 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Instant? That's pretty harsh! But, yeah, sure there are three things that will kill my interest pretty quick:
- Smoking, Vaping
- Drugs, including pot, I don't care if it's legal, it's a no-go
- Drinking, that includes wine, lite-beers, or any funky combos - if you're drinking it because there's booze in it, I'm out
====================

Yes, that means I'm incompatible with 98.8% of the human race, but somehow I've had two LTRs and quite a number of dates ( well, you gotta find your tolerances )

There are other things that tend to turn me away, but may not be basis for immediate rejection:
- Religious ferver - mention any god in your profile - nah, I'm not writing. I'm not part of your tribe.
- Political hot points - I don't go looking for these, but if it's something you're so hot under the collar about that you have to scream it in a profile or on a first date, yeah, "check, please"
- Kids/Breeding/Rearing - I have never been interested, don't hate Moms, but want no part of your child-rearing activities. If you have grown kids, I don't mind meeting them, but no, I don't want to hang out with them.
- Sports fanatics - I'm mean the super-fans who wear gear 24/7/365 and want to fight in parking lots
- Gun enthusiasts - I play video games with guns, but I have no interest in guns. "But you will be the first to die in a robbery/shootout" Yes, I will. In fact, I will be the guy who doesn't lay down when they say "everybody get down". I'm over 50, I don't want to die, but I just not worried about death by...whatever...however, I have a fear of heights, and it's something I can't control.
- Excessive Cursing/ Disrespect for Law & Authority - I'm maybe the most square guy you'll ever meet. Charlie Brown won't hang with me, I'm too square.
- Sass/ Attitude/ "sarcasm" - Any attempt to stand on a pedistal and act "above" others. This means all Goddesses, Queens, Princesses, Divas, etc. on down the line

SO....that last 0.02% of humanity might be suitable for me to get along with, I guess.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 27
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 1:55:11 AM
Oh gee. that line that says - Woman seeking man.

No you're not. I know better. Why not just say it- you want some nitwit that will do everything, ask for nothing, and stand on his head at the snap of your fingers.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 28
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 2:11:06 AM

Good Ole Fred is staring at me from the fireplace mantle, I'm out of there.


LoL

Today, I am going to visit the MIL & her 2nd husband (who was not well liked) was named Fred.

She has a shrine dedicated to him replete w/ a framed pic of him, but on a tall glass shelf!

Good Ole Fred is staring at me

His stepchildren are going to have a field day w/ the shrine after their Mom passes...

Be nice to your stepchildren folks or you will turn into "Fred"!
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 29
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 3:30:13 AM
I think the only instant turn away is a message you think did you even read the generic part like at all? Question is answered and then some.

But after that never had much problem with anything else they eliminated themselves like a few stated rarely does one message they find unattractive or above their own thought attractiveness so most of those where ladies are concerned not an issue.

So I just focused on looking for reasons to find them appealing, I am still looking.

So to answer why am I single- beauty, nice body, attributes they don't impress me much have ladies been offering anything else? Not hordly likely little dorlin'
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 30
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 7:23:32 AM

If a guy has a photo where he is with a bunch of women


A woman having a picture of herself with multiple men never bothered me. It could be her friends, co-workers, or relatives. I don't think it necessarily means a person is bragging about his or her ability to get attention from members of the opposite sex. Perhaps it was one of their most recent and/or best looking pictures of themselves.

If I liked the rest of the profile and the other pictures, 1 arguably questionable picture wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me. At least I would exchange a few emails and I can reassess the situation at any point in the future. Just my viewpoint.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 31
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 10:47:04 AM
I only have ONE instant turn-away. Even if someone is puking drunk or looks like a hobbit or has a voice like Spongebob, there's still a reason to watch - even if it is only for amusement.

Smoking makes me look the other way. It's a nasty habit. Vapor puffers are the same damn thing. People feeding that addiction are never going to have a higher priority in their lives, be it kids, or a job, or anything else - they will always be within arm's reach of nicotine. Even the maddest crush I may have had on someone was instantly broken when I see them outside on the frozen patio huffing and puffing. I have gone out with people who smoked - because they were not doing it around me. But people who try to date smoke-free always go back to it eventually - first they ask if it's OK to do it in the parking lot, next it's on your patio, next it's in your bed. 'Trying to quit' as a profile status always amused me. Anyone who started can say they were 'trying' to quit at one time or another. If you want to argue that being 'Separated' is still happily married, then 'Trying to Quit' means you are still a smoker. No thanks.

There's plenty of reasons why people don't want to date. Some profiles read like the "End User Agreement" after installing software. It's not going to be a turn-on, but it's still a curiosity. People really don't want to admit they are curious, so the full body eye-scan thing happens from behind them, not face-to-face.

I am amazed how few people even make eye contact anymore, or how totally ignoring people doing something other than a cell phone - like reading a book - makes them MORE curious about what you are doing.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 32
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 11:51:41 AM

I will say that for me its when a guy has no pics or a pic where he's in bed because then it seems to me that he just wants sex. Also, if he has a beard or is shorter than me I won't give him a second look. I'm 5'8 and a half so I won't look at anyone under 5'9. I also turn away if he has a dog in his profile pic with him because though I don't mind dogs, I'm not a pet person per say.

When it comes to getting messages, as soon as a guy calls me honey or sweetie or babe I instantly delete the convo.

Something that I do do is I won't talk to people that I don't think I have a chance with. If they are super good-looking or have a good profile I instantly think "what's the point?" and I won't pursue things. If this were real life in person I would because then I know that they've seen me and are still choosing to talk. I'm not thin, I weigh 216 pounds so even if I thought a guy might genuinely like me, my self-esteem would prevent me from embracing it.


MEDIOCRITY RULES !

Embrace the shallowness !
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 33
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 12:28:20 PM
It was alluded to above - eye catchers. For me, it was never so much "Ugh", but did a profile make me think "Huh!".

And for the OP - never be afraid to swing for the fences. Striking out is no fun; I know this well. But if you get lucky and hit that one grand slam ... game over.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 34
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 1:33:03 PM

And for the OP - never be afraid to swing for the fences. Striking out is no fun; I know this well. But if you get lucky and hit that one grand slam ... game over.


I get that but I just don't think I'm brave enough anymore.

When I was 15 I told a guy I liked him, a really good friend who I knew from when I was in diapers and he never talked to me again, just ignored me from then on out.

The second time I put myself out there was with a guy that was hanging out with me all the time, I thought he liked me and one night when we were both drinking at a party I tried to kiss him and he walked away, next thing I know he was making out with my friend.

And then. on POF a guy that I thought was good-looking texted me all this nice stuff for a couple days and we were actually going to meet but then when I went there I got a text saying "Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?"
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 35
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 2:06:51 PM

And then. on POF a guy that I thought was good-looking texted me all this nice stuff for a couple days and we were actually going to meet but then when I went there I got a text saying "Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?"


Wow... I have to wonder why someone would do something that cruel. It boggles the mind. Perhaps he had a male buddy who put him up to it---possibly some guy you had rejected earlier, who wanted to get back at you.
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 36
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 3:11:01 PM

And then. on POF a guy that I thought was good-looking texted me all this nice stuff for a couple days and we were actually going to meet but then when I went there I got a text saying "Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?"



Wow... I have to wonder why someone would do something that cruel. It boggles the mind. Perhaps he had a male buddy who put him up to it---possibly some guy you had rejected earlier, who wanted to get back at you.


One of my friends had a similar experience with internet dating. But it was worse.She had made plans for a date with this person. He texted her and said he would be late. He also asked her to order a drink and appetizers for her. He never showed up. She wasted her time waiting for him and she had to pay what he ordered. About a hour after the date was supposed to start, he sent her a nasty mean text.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 37
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 4:16:54 PM
"Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?"

This is the epitome of disrespectful!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 38
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 7:08:39 PM

One of my friends had a similar experience with internet dating. But it was worse.She had made plans for a date with this person. He texted her and said he would be late. He also asked her to order a drink and appetizers for her. He never showed up. She wasted her time waiting for him and she had to pay what he ordered. About a hour after the date was supposed to start, he sent her a nasty mean text.


That was extremely rude. I had a woman text me that she just parked for a planned date and I never heard from her again. At least she didn't ask me to order food for her though.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 39
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 8:05:24 PM

That was extremely rude. I had a woman text me that she just parked for a planned date and I never heard from her again. At least she didn't ask me to order food for her though.


That's referred to as the "drive-by", wherein someone checks you out before actually meeting you, then decides whether or not you're worth going through with the meeting.

About ten years ago, I met a man through Match, who admitted to me that he always did this for his first meets. He had arranged to meet me in a bar at a mall that had an open second floor level.

As we were chatting, he dropped the bomb that he had looked down and gotten a good view of me sitting at the bar waiting for him. He then informed me that he liked what he saw, so decided to come down and proceed with the meeting.

I thanked him for the compliment that I had passed his inspection, then told him I was no longer interested in him. I left him sitting at the bar by himself, after he had just ordered us a round of drinks.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 40
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 8:07:11 PM
we want what we want.... As for not connecting with the really good looking guy, you can bet it is not his pic and
he is not real. or he has some big problem.... I can see as a tall woman you want a guy at least as tall as you. No brainer. As for rejecting someone because he has his dog in the pic I think that is a bit much. Dating sites are full of losers, cruisers and users and honestly I wouldnt waste too much time or energy with it all.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 41
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 8:25:49 PM

That's referred to as the "drive-by", wherein someone checks you out before actually meeting you, then decides whether or not you're worth going through with the meeting.


Either that or she literally got cold feet at the last minute. The closest available parking lot was about a 10 minute walk from the location of the date / meeting. She might have changed her mind during that walk.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 42
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/20/2018 10:20:45 PM

I only have ONE instant turn-away.

Someone who's 300lbs+ who has an affinity for 3 dozen cupcakes a day + daytime talk shows? :)

Smoking makes me look the other way. It's a nasty habit. Vapor puffers are the same damn thing. People feeding that addiction are never going to have a higher priority in their lives, be it kids, or a job, or anything else - they will always be within arm's reach of nicotine.

Oh. Well, I'd take a hot, slender, successful gal who can't totally kick the nicotine habit and refers to a cherry ice cream flavored Vape in her purse once in a while -- than my above instant turn-off. But that's just me. :)

I am amazed how few people even make eye contact anymore, or how totally ignoring people doing something other than a cell phone - like reading a book - makes them MORE curious about what you are doing.

Yeah, it cuts down on stranger-to-stranger interaction, messing with the cell phone all the time. But I will say this: In today's times, we're more protective/scared of talking-to-strangers. One gets the vibe that it's promoted, not some mere unfortunate trend.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 43
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 4:04:46 AM
There are several deal breakers for me......

If you say you have kids and "they are my whole world" or "they come first" - well duh....of course kids are going to come first - common sense would tell anyone that!

If you are literally covered in tattoos and piercings - I don't mind 1 or 2.....but when you are covered head to toe.....it's just not attractive to me.

If you live in your mom's basement, can't make your own decisions, aren't financially independent, and have no direction in your life.

If you are looking for a hook up, or friends with benefits......I immediately exit stage left.

If you are an "extreme sports nut" glued to ESPN 24/7, or like camping, fishing, and boating.....I'm outta here.

If you are into the bar/party/drug scene, or into three/foursomes, and moresomes, I am gone.

These are just a few on the list of what I won't tolerate.


About ten years ago, I met a man through Match, who admitted to me that he always did this for his first meets. He had arranged to meet me in a bar at a mall that had an open second floor level.

As we were chatting, he dropped the bomb that he had looked down and gotten a good view of me sitting at the bar waiting for him. He then informed me that he liked what he saw, so decided to come down and proceed with the meeting.

I thanked him for the compliment that I had passed his inspection, then told him I was no longer interested in him. I left him sitting at the bar by himself, after he had just ordered us a round of drinks.


Halcyon (see message 39) --- wow.....just wow.....It totally amazes me how "low" dating has gotten out here. I feel fortunate that nothing like you described has happened to me.....but I have been stood up and yes, had very cruel comments hurled at me.........
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 44
turn away, little girl, before i beg you to stay
Posted: 2/21/2018 7:27:33 AM
"And then. on POF a guy that I thought was good-looking texted me all this nice stuff for a couple days and we were actually going to meet but then when I went there I got a text saying "Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?""

>>the only good aspect from this is, you learned early on, that he's a POS. You could have met, fallen for his BS, and then found out how psychotically he treats other humans. But I agree with Letty who thinks it was a fake photo. It sounds like someone who hates others as much as he despises himself.

"either that or she got cold feet"

>>>and you ducked dating a chickenshat. As for the dork confessing his dating tricks of scoping out the date then ditching her...isn't it great, what people feel comfortable telling us? I mean, do they think before they say it, and what are they thinking--that we're going to be complimented? impressed by their cunning?

people wonder what I do daily in my retirement...and one thing is, avoid turkeys like these :) my bestie calls me daily during the rush hour drive home to unload what she was burdened with that day, and it does amaze me, how much of our lives are spent in a workplace with people we'd probably not bother to be around (for example, those working out their childhood issues at work, the brown-nosers, etc) if it wasn't for the workplace bringing us together. Some things in life, just aren't logical.

on the flip side...i'm the type who would still meet someone in order to give them the proverbial rope to hang themselves by :) sometimes it can be amusing to wonder, "does this person really think this is impressive?"
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 45
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 9:49:35 AM

I am amazed how few people even make eye contact anymore, or how totally ignoring people doing something other than a cell phone - like reading a book - makes them MORE curious about what you are doing.


I agree Danimal! I've said and thought the same thing many times. Many people are way too connected to their damn phones and so disconnected from the world going on around them.

I live in a small town riddled with a few Walmarts. I know Walmarts are the less liked stores as many people seem to be rude, but I remember seeing a man laying on the floor inside the store as I was checking out. I called 911, but I was appalled by how many people walked in, stared and continued on.

I lose hope in humanity more and more, because many are so fixated on themselves. Many don't make eye contact anymore, let alone even respect their self or others.

And, I agree with you on smoking. It makes me unintentionally gasp.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 46
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 11:13:16 AM
i'm probably gonna be single forever (and accepted this), my list probably doesn't always make sense but;

no pics probably cheating
no profile words profile probably gets deleted a lot or he just isn't offering anything
ask me ask you why you're even bothering to be on a dating site that has the option to make a profile?
just checking this site out if you feel stigmatised or ashamed to be online looking for a partner then you're not for me
moaning about getting no response on here or 'rude' women in general doesn't understand womens internet experience or himself and how unappealing he is
doesn't really like women or expects them to exist for his needs alpha male :yuk:
unattractive
too attractive
too young, and lied about it to get to message older women
the right age but looks haggard
too old and looks like i might kill him off if we get to the sex stage of a relationship
has no interests
has too adventurous interests
scruffy, looks lazy, pics are all indoors
pics in bed
he has old pics from when he was fairly attractive don't see the point in this at all
his profile gives off the cheat vibe
he's trying to fulfil some checklist of fantasies
didn't do the profile tests
seems unintelligent from either pics or profile
comes across as creepy
comes off as desperate
can't hold a proper conversation
looking for casual dating or nothing serious
he has issues that i know i can't deal with
is bald, i love hair and my family is excessively hairy, nothing personal against baldies and don't think you look ugly
his profile words look good but if i copy and paste them they turn up in search results usually in scammer warnings

there'll be other stuff i forgot as well. i'm pretty certain online dating isn't for me because just about everything puts me off coz i overthink and look into what people say too deeply but after being lied to so much (by peoples words) i think this is a fairly normal reaction. i'd just like to chat to guys and feel some kind of click that doesn't make me feel over the top feelings (coz when i fall too fast and hard it always is with someone who is a liar).
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 47
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 12:03:26 PM

And then. on POF a guy that I thought was good-looking texted me all this nice stuff for a couple days and we were actually going to meet but then when I went there I got a text saying "Ha ha, did you really think I was interested in your ugly ass?"


Wow - simply wow. I hope you texted him back 'Thank you for showing your ugliness before I met you' or something similar.

I'm not pretty but when I've expressed interest in a guy, I've usually gotten a smile, a yes, his eyes brighten, and - believe it or not - a marriage proposal within six months.

HS - if that had been me, I probably wouldn't have gotten to use your comeback but I'll remember it. It's a good one.

I don't have too many instant turn-aways when I'm in a dating phase rather than a forum phase. I have preferences - taller is better than shorter, more financially secure is better than less financially secure, dark hair is better than light hair - that kind of thing isn't terribly important in the long run of things. But horribly long beards in all the photos is one. With a beard in only one or two photos or a shorter beard, then you know the guy isn't totally married to his facial hair. I'll date a guy with a beard, but I certainly won't kiss him. Obvious lies are another. I think that's about it for me.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 48
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 12:41:37 PM

But horribly long beards in all the photos is one. With a beard in only one or two photos or a shorter beard, then you know the guy isn't totally married to his facial hair. I'll date a guy with a beard, but I certainly won't kiss him. Obvious lies are another. I think that's about it for me.

I tried dating someone with a beard but when he tried to take my breast with his mouth I couldn't help but laugh because it tickled so much. After that point just couldn't see myself with a beard person.
 sundress1
Joined: 10/29/2017
Msg: 49
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 1:21:13 PM

If you are an "extreme sports nut" glued to ESPN 24/7, or like camping, fishing, and boating.....I'm outta here.


Being obsessed with any activity can be a turn off to me. I think these types of people can be one dimensional and value said activity more than a partner.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 50
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Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/21/2018 4:05:12 PM

If you are an "extreme sports nut" glued to ESPN 24/7, or like camping, fishing, and boating.....I'm outta here.


This is where I worry when I list interests.
People may assume "I live" for some of them and "write me off" almost immediately.

Yeah, I've bowled with friends a few times - and really had fun.
If I list bowling (that they hate) as an interest, some might assume I'm in a Bowling League 4 nights a week. Not!!!

I like camping. That doesn't mean I want to live in a tent in the boonies for 2 months straight.
At most I may go for a weekend a couple of times during the summer IF the weather is comfortable for it.
And even then, it would only be if my partner is up for it.

People's assumptions can be your undoing...
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