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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?      Home login  
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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 76
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
It's so damn cold here Hell would be a welcome vacation.

PBA: I wasn't able to post on the "scammers thread" two too many posts and all.
Thank you for your kind words.

I was fortunate enough in my 20 year relationship he wouldn't let me pay for anything....I made up for it in other ways.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 77
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:20:56 PM
We pay each other in many ways when in a satisfying relationships.
My adult step children NEVER had a Holiday meal in their Dad's house until me.

Although I missed MY kids this Holiday, I know all I did for them previously & will do in the future.

But the folks in the south, their Mom passed at a young age- cancer.
So it was nice for them & the elder Grandma who is widowed, to have had the holiday spread (hence all the pix)

It was lots of work, the shopping, planning, prepping, cooking, serving, clean up etc.

But worth it.

Who can put a price tag on THAT?

Many things women do, like babysitting a grandchild, etc.
The parents can relax they have a trusted family member.

Doing crafts w/ a 3rd grader who never had a grandma? Can't put a price on that either.

So the men who complain about a few bucks here & there, if you were truly dating w/ good intentions, the $ you spend on a future partner is PRICELESS.

"I was fortunate enough in my 20 year relationship he wouldn't let me pay for anything....I made up for it in other ways" I have no doubt this will happen again in your life. Glad you experienced it in the past, too.
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 78
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:32:44 PM
Well the thing is to many people pertain everything to a dollar value. I try to have a good time regardless of what we do it's about who I am with not how much is spent. Although somethings are laughable like a lady bringing graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate as something to eat for a weekend at cabin. Had that happen and I just tease her with catching rabbits, or maybe fish we will be good she was so upset at the thought of me killing a rabbit or fish she said she wanted to go home. I said there's food in the trunk check the cooler, of course I got the you're a fvcking a$$shole comment. lmao

Careful when messing with people who like the outdoors we can really mess with you.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 79
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 5:03:38 PM

The OP sounds like he is a nickel & dime-r


Nonsense. OP is a gentleman who has the self respect to expect some reciprocity from his partner.

His girlfriend is the deadbeat.

$500 hotel > pb&j sammiches

You are just scapegoating this man for your own bad decisions.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 80
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 5:10:17 PM
No he is a gold digger putting a price tag on things.

How do we know the exact price of the meals she will be providing for the weekend?


https://www.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/news/2015/02/is-this-the-worlds-most-expensive-peanut-butter


How much do you pay for a typical jar of peanut butter? Three or four bucks, maybe five? For super-typical peanut butter, though, you can expect to pay a bit more: $761 for three six-ounce jars, which works out to be about $254 per jar.

That’s how much the National Institute of Standards and Technology, an agency of the U.S. Commerce Department, charges for its pasty PB known as “ Standard Reference Material No. 2387.” And if you want to know what’s so unusual about the government agency’s peanut butter, aside from its catchy name, the answer is: nothing. Nothing at all. Which is precisely the point.

The peanut butter is made from the same elements as your standard store-bought PB – roasted peanuts, sugar, hydrogenated fat and salt – and was even “prepared by a commercial manufacturer of peanut butter whose name you would recognize,'' NIST chemist Katherine E. Sharpless told The New York Times in 2003, but its elements have been meticulously analyzed by scientists to determine the precise amount of everything it contains, from dietary fiber and fatty acids to acrylamide, aflatoxins and amino acids. This kind of data is apparently essential to food industry and testing labs, which use reference foods as a baseline in their analysis of other foods.

As for taste, “Standard Reference Material No. 2387” has been described as “dead average,” which is of course the very point. Still, here’s to the Redditor who quipped, “You need some reference jelly to go with it.” And perhaps some reference bread.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 81
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 5:44:46 PM

No he is a gold digger putting a price tag on things.

How do we know the exact price of the meals she will be providing for the weekend?


We don't need to know the exact price of the peanut butter sandwiches. What we do know is that the cost of meals will be "much less than half". Your accusation that OP is a gold digger is slander.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 82
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 7:03:56 PM

No he is a gold digger putting a price tag on things.

How do we know the exact price of the meals she will be providing for the weekend?

https://www.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/news/2015/02/is-this-the-worlds-most-expensive-peanut-butter



How is he a gold digger when she asked him and expects him to pay? As for the expensive peanut butter, that's highly unlikely. That's a real stretch.





It's so damn cold here Hell would be a welcome vacation.


Thanks Canada for our below average temperatures and snow...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 83
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 7:27:40 PM
years ago, prior posters like Crookcatcher opined that Big Dogs don't mind spending $100 + for a dinner date. If the dinner lasts only an hour or two, that's $50-100 to impress the pants off a gal. In that respect, $500 for a weekend with a woman already impressed, its a good investment by hour :)

Like I said before, don't pay to get laid. Pay to have a good time you'll remember fondly. And if the price is too steep, that's OK! come up with an alternate staycation. Maybe the lady is merely suggesting she wants to spend time together. Maybe she is a moocher. Either way, they are talking as couples do...about when to leave a toothbrush and extra change of work clothes at the other person's place, etc.

its how we learn if we've got a keeper...or a leaper (as in, leap their bones)
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 84
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 7:36:16 PM
OP started this thread whining.

He chose to date this woman & could have said "no" to the weekend.

Instead he goes along, lukewarm & passive-aggressively whines on the forums.

If he has the $ then go & pay, if not say no & STFU.

"Pay to have a good time you'll remember fondly. And if the price is too steep, that's OK! come up with an alternate staycation. Maybe the lady is merely suggesting she wants to spend time together. "

"Big Dogs don't mind spending $100 + for a dinner date. "

Too many puppies, not enough dogs!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 85
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/23/2018 10:40:57 PM
As she asked you for the week end I would say that she should cover at least some of the costs. If she is short of money then she can buy some groceries and cook at home and at least make some contribution. If she has agreed, what is the problem? It is early days and I agree that expenses should be shared. WOmen want equality so it extends to all areas...
 pio1000
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 86
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 5:22:47 AM
Agreed. She should at least offer.
 DrivingHarmony2018
Joined: 2/10/2018
Msg: 87
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 5:44:19 AM

How is he a gold digger when she asked him and expects him to pay?


^^^Agreed. IMO, I don't think he is out of line to think/suggest the girlfriend of 2 months to pay for food while he is paying for hotel time.


OP started this thread whining.


Good grief, he is not whining, he just posted a question inquiring about opinions.


I paid for both me & the mr. bec. it was his birthday.


^^^I think that is great! You pay for a cruise, the husband pays for a cruise = you share expenses....even if it's a birthday gift to some degree. IMO, I don't find it unreasonable OP feels the new girlfriend should pitch in for a mini vacation. He did not even say she should pay half, just something. The girlfriend paying for food seems fair to me.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 88
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 5:44:54 AM
How is he a gold digger putting a price tag on things? She is the one who did the inviting while not expecting to pay for any of it.
She "reluctantly" agreed to pay for the food then said it would be pb&j, I'm pretty sure meals are going to be as cheap as possible.
I also didn't think he was whining, he said yes, then told her he expected her to share expenses.
Who invites someone somewhere then expects them to pay for everything? I bet she's whining right now to all her girlfriends about him expecting her to provide the food.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 89
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 6:13:14 AM

What we do know is that the cost of meals will be "much less than half".


How do we KNOW that? Do we even KNOW if the OP is paying for 1 or 2 nights in the hotel? Since he mentioned 2 days of lunch and dinners I suspect just one night.

I know 500 bucks for even 2 nights at the best hotel 180 miles from the OPs town is unbelievable. Less than 100 bucks a night is more realistic.

I also know the OP posted on 2/18/2018...."we are dating exclusively, for over three months now. We're pretty close, and are passionate about one another." On 2/21/2018, "My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about two months now."

Blonde Angel, I guess our dating experiences might be a bit different from nearly all of the other members. Since my teenage years I paid MOST of the time and never gave it any thought. In fact I had the time of my life. It was worth every dine I spent.

I recall one date paying the fees (about 20 bucks) to enter a nudist resort in Mass. She invited me and that was the only thing she ever paid for during our brief dating period. We met at singles dance by GTO's town. Our first date cost me about 200: theater tickets, dinner, drinks and one of those 3 hour motels with a heart shaped hot tub in the room. For some reason I remember that motel's $69 billboard. That was many years ago. I don't have any regrets spending the money or not asking her to throw in some cash.

More recently I dated an attractive woman for 3 months - theater, countless dinners and nights out dancing. I recall after giving her a hug and a goodnight kiss she complained about me moving too fast. She promised she was worth the wait. I waited patiently, nothing - not even a Liberace Special. Maybe I should sue for her share since she implied there will be sex and it will be great.

Unlike most of the men on this forum, I and just about all my male friends are suckers. And stupid. I never even thought about asking a date to share expenses. Getting a woman to go out with me was my only worry, followed by the fear of being stood up. Perhaps if I had Cary Grant's looks and charm, I might've thought about asking a date to split the bill for a two day vacation on the beach. I've often wondered why so many attractive women agreed to go out with me. Now I have a clue as to why, but I certainly know it wasn't even remotely close to prostitution. That's insane!
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 90
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 7:55:30 AM
Blonde Angel posted

If he has the $ then go & pay, if not say no & STFU.
"Pay to have a good time you'll remember fondly.

Ben

She promised she was worth the wait. I waited patiently, nothing

Remember....as BA says...you have your fond memories to keep you warm.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 91
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 8:20:28 AM
Hey Henry


Back in the 90’s I worked with a guy (I’ll call him Bill, not his real name).

Every year, Bill did a “sex tour” in Thailand. One price covered airfare, lodging, and all of the sex you could stand for 2 weeks.

I don’t recall Bill having a “1000 yard stare”. I will admit, when he came back from one of those “sex tours”, he was pretty pale, like he hadn’t been outside or seen the sun, at all. And his tail was dragging, as if he might have not slept very much either.


Henry, I was talking about those men that moved to Thailand to live there. Not tourists. Tourist think it's all milk and honey.

As tourists, Thailand’s is also popular with people like oil rig workers, those from Australia (it’s close), France and England. Not so many from the USA. Tourists frequently get the gem scams and sick water buffalo stories. The women want to “leave the bar” and if they can only get $xxx a month they can get a normal job. So a lot of male tourist fall for that, maybe it’s true 2% of the time.


If you get several years of what your friend “Bill” experienced in a few weeks, then it changes you.

Those that live there and remain single, the refrain is “Does she really love me, I am a walking talking ATM”, if they run out of money the Pattaya flying club is a trendy way to go. Then there are some men that are predators, though I think it’s not so common. In my initial visit, I only met one male predator in 6 weeks of wondering around mostly by myself. (Total I had spent 6 months in Thailand, but most of that was with my Thai family, so very different experience).

I used to see the 1000 yard stare thing with older men early in the morning, usually sitting alone.

I was on a couple of Western Thai forums, barladies is a forum to discuss the going price of service P2P, complaints about the Arabs and Japanese driving prices up, where are the hottest women, posting pics, etc.

Then there are a lot of married couples, Western men with Thai women. Can be some very odd relationships. A few pretty normal, but what is interesting about that?

I like to talk to strangers, “they” love to talk to a new face that is Western, so I encountered a lot of things that you just don’t see here. I left Hua Hin for Bangkok just because it was getting too personally weird for me, though the bar girl I cavorted with wanted to go with me. I told her if she can be at the VIP bus stop in an hour, she was welcome to come.

I wish I had taken a video of the guy in a motorized wheel chair with this blond girl on his lap that would come flying down the road (like a bicycle in traffic) a couple of times a day.

I am guessing 60-70% of the Western people living in Thailand we would deem weird, eccentric or out there. Makes the POF forum pretty tame.

It’s notable to mention, there are two aspects to Thailand.

Tourist Thailand, then native Thailand. Going from one to the other is like two different worlds. In native Thailand, I am treated just like anyone else, just as I would be in Chicago. In tourist Thailand, I am a handsom man who must be a movie star looking for love and sex. I am irresistible in Tourist Thailand, just another guy in Native Thailand.

In tourist Thailand, they have a BJ bar. A beer and a BJ while having your beer. At least that is what the guys on forum BarLadies had posted about. I sort of felt that if I went that way, I was going over to the dark side and maybe I couldn’t’ find my way back to what passes for normal.

Five days in Hua Hin by myself I only went to one low key one bar in all my time in Thailand. You have to understand, all bars that carter to tourists have women that are in the sex trade. There are also even more Thai bars catering to Thai men with women in the sex trade, they are much more hidden and I never went to one of those.

I spent 80% of my time in native Thailand.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 92
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 8:50:03 AM

She promised she was worth the wait. I waited patiently, nothing

Remember....as BA says...you have your fond memories to keep you warm.


Whisky, I live in Florida - it's always warm. Now it's 76 outside and sunny - time for my 2 mile walk on the beach.

I do have fond memories of that woman. Even at 61 she was beautiful and I told her so. She responded with, "Shut up and have another drink."

If she had been 56 or younger, I would have been aggressive starting day one and rounding all the bases by date two, as usual (if not sooner with younger women). Over the last 6 years I dated 7 women over the age of 56 - nothing more than hugs and kisses. I never actually tried for anything else. That's true! I can't say the same for the few women I met at a bar and took home that were younger during the same time frame. Three of those gals smoked pot. Ahhhh, gotta be the smokes.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 93
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 9:47:44 AM

I assumed we would be splitting the costs, since we are not living together and just started our relationship.


Unlike most of the men on this forum, I and just about all my male friends are suckers. And stupid...
I've often wondered why so many attractive women agreed to go out with me. Now I have a clue as to why,
but I certainly know it wasn't even remotely close to prostitution.

I have a retired friend also on POF...

He says he gets lots of messages from retired ladies who
"have their bags packed and are ready to travel wherever he wants TO TAKE them..."

They are offering themselves as "travel companions" to keep him company (if he pays the costs).
Of course, “don’t expect any ‘funny business’ because we’re not prostitutes”.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 94
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 9:51:40 AM

They are offering themselves as "travel companions" to keep him company (if he pays the costs).
Of course, “don’t expect any ‘funny business’ because we’re not prostitutes”.


Is this the instant turn-off thread, because that qualifies.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 95
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 10:18:33 AM

Unlike most of the men on this forum, I and just about all my male friends are suckers. And stupid. I never even thought about asking a date to share expenses. Getting a woman to go out with me was my only worry, followed by the fear of being stood up. Perhaps if I had Cary Grant's looks and charm, I might've thought about asking a date to split the bill for a two day vacation on the beach. I've often wondered why so many attractive women agreed to go out with me. Now I have a clue as to why, but I certainly know it wasn't even remotely close to prostitution. That's insane!


I would much rather be single than date a woman that almost or always expects me to pay for her.


OP started this thread whining.

He chose to date this woman & could have said "no" to the weekend.

Instead he goes along, lukewarm & passive-aggressively whines on the forums.

If he has the $ then go & pay, if not say no & STFU.


He's not whining. Asking her to chip in for the cost is a reasonable request. Maybe she shouldn't ask him to go on a weekend trip when she didn't want to pay.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 96
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 10:23:11 AM

Cryptofabulous
They are offering themselves as "travel companions" to keep him company (if he pays the costs).
Of course, “don’t expect any ‘funny business’ because we’re not prostitutes”.

Heh? Say what? I have never seen that, or heard that. I know several women, 30s, 40s and 50s, quite attractive, who take vacations every year on someone else’s nickel. Sex is always a part of that deal. I mean, you’re going to be sharing a room, sometimes on a cruise, or in a foreign resort, or traveling through the Greek islands. And that one room usually has one bed, so hard to imagine that anyone could expect no sex.

And they do not think of themselves as prostitutes, or even sugar babies. This is the 21st century, some things have changed. At least for some people, apparently not for the majority of folks here on the forums.

Dragonbytes, interesting story about your time in Thailand. I don’t think I would have had the resolve or whatever it takes to resist those kinds of temptations. I can resist going, but if I were already there, and it was in front of me, well ….
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 97
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 11:28:43 AM

"I know several women, 30s, 40s and 50s, quite attractive, who take vacations every year on someone else’s nickel. Sex is always a part of that deal."


You're assuming that, right? Did those several women tell YOU that sex was part of their deal? From my experience, I consider sex just part of a normal relationship (with women younger than 57 - some older women seem to leave painful deep scratches).

I know of two women I would enjoy taking to Myrtle Beach - having sex or getting a back rub would not be an obligation or part of any deal. I might be willing to take either of them to Las Vegas, but I'm NOT willing to pay for their gambling; just transportation, room and food - no problem as long as they're my date.

I recall an ex-coworker complaining about a 6 day cruise he took with a much younger attractive woman. No sex and she treated him poorly (according to him). I recall him complaining about her never leaving him a clean towel. She used them all every morning. That selfish **tch had no consideration for him (his words - not mine).


"And that one room usually has one bed,"


For 23 years my ex-gal and I took two two weeks vacations every year - at least. Usually there were two beds in the room. And many times we stayed a week at places with two separate bedrooms.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 98
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/24/2018 12:35:16 PM

. And many times we stayed a week at places with two separate bedrooms.


That’s just sad
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 99
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:03:57 AM
I haven't read all the posts.

The issue isn't Nicole Kidman or the weekend away, it's your lack of courage to engage in an honest conversation about what is acceptable or not acceptable to you. Just as you have a right to expect mutuallity in sharing expenses she has the right to ask for what she wants....for you to pay for the trip. Polling a forum and gettting validation for your point of view is meaningless. My sense, is that you are conflict avoidant. You enjoy aspects of the relationship with her and you don't want to lose it, so you avoid the obvious differences in your values/points of view. I'm guessing that right now, the benefits of the relationship outweigh what you might perceive as little disagreements. These are not little disagreements, these are flags about your value difference...that will only accumulate over time.

You're early in the relationship, this is the perfect time to figure out if the two of you can be honest with each other and work it out or if the differences are an obstacle to a viable relationship.

The viability of relationship isn't measured by how you handle things when all is well, it's based on how can balance supporting each other while maintaning your own moral compass when conflicts arise.

In my current relationship we discussed money and came up with our solution, the 3rd wallet. We each contribute and equal amount of $, put it in the wallet and use if for all of our expenses. It works for us.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 100
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:31:37 AM
first off, you're calling her your girlfriend so I am assuming that you know she's got genuine feelings for you. so which is it?

peanut butter and jelly?
you aren't very perceptive are you?
she can't afford it but wants to do something memorable with you. if you can afford it what else is money for? you gonna take it to your grave? lol

if she's got genuine feelings for you that would have been a great opportunity to show her that you've got her back but you muffed that and that ship has sailed hasn't it? LOL

however if you feel she's just taking advantage of your good graces don't bother. just back away. leave her be. if you don't you'll just feel jaded later.

money money money is a horribly boring subject.
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