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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 126
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
{quote] Lesson learned; I won't be rushing into any romantic vacations with a woman until I know we both love each other.

I just have to seriously like someone, being in love would have killed half my previous vacations. And usually it takes a couple of vacations together before I start to fall in love. You learn a lot aboot a person and how well you get along with each other when you travel with them for a week or two.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 127
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 6:22:53 PM

Dragonbytes, interesting story about your time in Thailand. I don’t think I would have had the resolve or whatever it takes to resist those kinds of temptations. I can resist going, but if I were already there, and it was in front of me, well ….


I suppose I like more of an emotional connection to really enjoy sex. I could never get into sex with strangers, the few times it happened it didn't feel very satiating.

Surely when you travel for business you encounter a few streetwalkers? Don't you resist it then? Like in Washington DC between K and L Streets around 11th and 14th, is there much of a difference? It's cheaper in Asia, the women are better looking and there is more of a friendly negotiation in Thailand and you can buy the girl friend experience, but the principal is the same.

When I first went to Thailand, dating/sex wasn’t on my mind and I hadn’t dated anyone for the last 9 years. I only went because the girl next door invited me to accompany her on a two month trip, she went to Japan/Thailand often for her business.

Problem was, after the second week she hooked up with a Thai man and I became the third wheel, and her plans started to revolve around his schedule. So I split up from her and went my own way, we kept loosely in touch.

Henry, it’s really at what level you want to resist or engage? How far down this road are you comfortable going? I am OK with a more low key come on from a store clerk, maybe a travel companion situation, but not a P2P in a short time hotel.

I resisted going into a Western bar, bar girls will be all over you Maybe I would get into it at a bar (virtual a brothel), but it takes a different mindset that I don't have. Especially in Bangkok or Pattaya, it's not so aggressive in the smaller towns.

Bali was even more in your face. I ended up going alone to Bali (not my original plan to go alone, but I had to go somewhere because I had a 30 day visa). I got a taxi at the Bali airport, the driver detoured on the way to my hotel to offer me a girl. I agreed to check her out, she seemed OK. Kind of an odd location, a few buildings off the road behind some trees, only one woman I kind of thought there would be a group. I declined the offer. But I didn’t know anything about how Bali operates, maybe that’s normal.

Here is the really amusing thing to me.

When I was leaving Bali, I called a cab and the driver asked me what time my flight left, I said I was 3 hours early. He suggested stopping so he could drop me off for sex and I would be in and out in less than an hour with time to spare. Thailand was never that aggressive about it.

I don’t want to make it seem Thailand is one big brothel, outside of the tourist areas people are quite conservative, sometimes they still date with chaperones. It’s a quite different atmosphere.
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 128
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 7:20:51 PM

It's funny, he tried online dating a long time ago for about a month and threw in the towel. His personality just didn't come across well in written form.

I see four little squares after "Btw, your hair". What is it?


Thanks Blackbeauty, appreciate that!

It was the 2 thumbs up, Pig.

Yes, I understand where he's coming from, I don't come across well online either, but I'm in a small country town and I don't drink enough to go to bars, which is what they typically do here to socialize, so here I am. lol. I must be a glutton for punishment.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 129
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:41:32 PM
Can I have the peanut butter and jelly?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 130
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 5:17:47 AM

It was the 2 thumbs up, Pig.


Well, thank you, dear. Two enthusiastic Fonzie thumbs up for your smile in return.


but I'm in a small country town and I don't drink enough to go to bars


You certainly don't look like a country girl. I tried very briefly to live in South Carolina back in late 2007. It was in the King's Mountain area about an hour from Charlotte, N.C. I would sodomize myself with a hot curling iron before I would ever try anything like that again. I'm a city boy through and through.

As for bars, I've been a non-drinker my entire adult life, but have been in them since I was old enough. However, I understand your reluctance to enter a bar out in the country in North Carolina. The sight of overalls and the sound of banjos would surely be horrifying. :)~
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 131
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 5:36:27 AM
"I have a friend (more like an acquaintance these days, actually) who is what most would describe as "average" in terms of appearance. He's got a bit of a Buddha belly, too. The thing is, he's an obnoxious, loud, life of the party New Yorker with balls of steel who hits on every woman in sight. When he's rejected, he still becomes chummy with the women, then goes after their friends. After a while, he eventually ends up with an above average woman, which would never happen if he believed in "leagues"."

"Pig: I've seen that happen. Sometimes that confidence/cockiness/aloofness makes the person curious enough about the other to actually give them a chance. Stranger things have happened. "

>>>I've seen it, as well. A woman who isn't really sure what confidence is, mistakes c0ckiness for it (A female friend dated me once, mistaking my confidence for her c0ckiness, and then dumped me when she realized I wasn't as desperate for attention as she was). Or the guy makes himself the center of attention, and she thinks its charisma. If she's competitive, the fact he's after her friends may strike something in her to win him back. He's average in looks, she above that, and people can be tempted to "step down" in order to gain someone with a personality that turns them on (I've even dated some women out of my league, just not for very long. The novelty wears off, and they're back with someone in their league again). Also, he's willing to forget how many times he gets rejected. He's like the guy who keeps paying until it pays off, good for him.

Everyone's mileage will vary--heck, when I was younger, I was far more willing to date, so willing I put up with more BS than I would at my age now. I too live out in the sticks and don't drink much--I wouldn't be caught alive or dead in the local honkey tonk. up here in the snow belt, a lady out in the country likely has someone to help pay the bills, like the "plow the driveway, pump the basement when the snow melts, mow the lawn" etc bills. But I love the place, its quiet, I barely see my neighbors due to the trees....and when I tried the city, the results a la romance were the same :)

as for the OP, glad to hear you feel good about the outcome. This subject you posted about, is just another matter that comes up in romance. You two talked it over, and it made it clear where you both stood. Sometimes we get blinded by sex and romance, we don't look at the "friend" part of being a boyfriend or a girlfriend. your scenario showed you where things were not going, and maybe getting advice from your friend to talk to your gf about it, is what got the truth out for both you and her to see.

in the end, it worked out for the best. you're both free now to find someone you really are head over heels for.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 132
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 6:05:25 AM

I've seen it, as well. A woman who isn't really sure what confidence is, mistakes c0ckiness for it


Cockiness is confidence, but with arrogance sprinkled on top. I'm not sure if I would classify him as arrogant or****, though. He can be self-deprecating at times to make them laugh. His thing is, he just doesn't care about rejection and doesn't have a shy bone in his body.


The novelty wears off, and they're back with someone in their league again


In his case, the ones he eventually does land end up wanting him to dial the partying down, and he doesn't comply. How he gets up every day for work is still a mystery to me.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 133
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 6:34:54 AM

I too live out in the sticks


Unless things changed drastically, GTO, you're a mere 22 miles from the 2nd best city in the USA to pick up women way out of our league. (Washington, DC was the best many, many years ago - don't know about now).

If anyone knows a better place than Hartford, Ct., please share.


"lady out in the country likely has someone to help pay the bills"


My ex-girlfriend lived in Andover when I met her. She and one of her girlfriends owned their own homes, lived alone, and didn't need help to pay their bills. They both made more money than I did at the time. They worked for major insurance companies in Hartford.

The Gallery is about 15 miles from you - right? Still a good place to meet women, but NOT as great as it was many years ago. I suspect the cops cracking down on drivers that had a few drinks helped destroy the fantastic night life (for drinkers like me and the women I had fun with) in Ct and nearby RI. Many of incredible night clubs went under.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 134
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 9:54:53 AM
"Cockiness is confidence, but with arrogance sprinkled on top."

>>>cockiness is defined as arrogance or conceited. I tend to say, c0cky people tell you how great they are, confident people are confident they don't need to point it out. I don't think Tiger Woods goes around telling people how great a golfer he is, for example (or at least, he shouldn't have to). But, everyone defines the word based on what they see in the mirror.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/cockiness

Not worrying about rejection, is a blessing. I tend to be a, "if its not working, time to take the hint and try a different line of work" mindset. Most pickup artists claim an average looking guy gets lucky 20% of the time--that means 80% rejection. I wouldn't invest in a stock that only returns 20% of the time. I wouldn't want to spend dinner money to fail 80% of the time. Maybe that's b/c in most of my relationships, I had to do the majority of the work--I did the back massages, I initiated the sex most of the time, etc. if I had attractive women touching me in the bar, I might be interested in something that doesn't require so much work from me :) Otherwise I can self-pleasure and befriend women with less effort than I have to put into a sexual relationship so it doesn't devolve into friendship. I massage my gfs b/c I want to touch their body, they don't massage me for...well, guess :) Good foreplay is probably what kept blueballs at bay, b/c I was hornier for them than they were for me, when they were out of my league. When I dated women in my league, well, I was there for their personality, and performed sex on them but wasn't interested enough to have something to hang a condom on (to put it bluntly, sorry for the TMI ladies).

To paraphrase Bob Ross...nothing breeds success like...prior success. Everyone repeats a winning formula, most tire of repeating a losing formula.

Two decades ago, our state capital of Hartford attracted college-aged singles. It still does, its not a ghost town like Danielson, but I think the casinos have taken away some of its luster. If you wish to find an event that doesn't involve drinking, you have to look harder than one does in, say, Boston or New York City.

http://www.bestplaces.net/docs/studies/datingcities_list.aspx

I don't think my state capital made the top 80 best for singles. Right now, they are trying anything they can to keep the young singles from leaving at the end of the work shift--or just moving out permanently. Hartford hasn't been the insurance capital in decades, a college grad not knowing where they were going to work, could get a job at Travelers, etc two decades ago and move up the corporate ladder. Now a bunch of those companies have split for Boston, etc. and the state is contemplating raising highway tolls, taxes, adding convention centers etc. NYC and Boston may charge similar taxes, but they also have the tech nearby. Any company wanting to move into the tech field, wants to be around Route 128 or Silicon Valley or NYC. Its an old cliché, but we do live in their shadow.

In my neighborhood where I can hear wolves howl at night, there are some ladies who don't need alimony or a partner to pay the bills (it isn't me making the original claim, its female friends who told me one of the reasons I don't find a wide range of single homeowner females), and I've already asked them out--they aren't bothering with someone in my league. The times I've been at the Gallery or the singles events, when I met someone who I would be interested in, they were a plant, or they came partnered up already (one admitted they were networking for some pyramid scheme), or they were very out of my league (I admit, I aim very high. I'm used to living alone, so if i'm going to give that up, its for someone who knocks my socks off. Not that I have anything against one-night stands, but...those potentials I find, end up admitting they have some STD or another, and I call things off).

I will confess, my mindset, and thus my experiences, aren't the average. and I don't mean "average" to be a negative thing. I've had pleasurable and unpleasurable experiences, I just wish I had far more of them--but who doesn't, right? :)
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 135
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 9:55:28 AM
he already knows her financial situation. he just said so. she makes less than him AND she's paying off some bills. now peanut butter and jelly comes as a surprise to him? that didn't seem to matter to him when he made her his girlfriend. now all of a sudden he's making an issue out it.

I could understand his concern if she's hit him up for things just for herself without him being a part of what the money is for but she didn't. she asked for something for the two of them together not just for herself.

If someone else is paying for the vacation, if you want to eat have a place to sleep and have any fun you need to stay pretty close the person that's paying for it. unless you're there to enjoy that person having to cater to someone that you're not there for is not fun.

I said if she's got "genuine feelings for him." If she did then he muffed it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 136
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 10:22:49 AM

ohenryx
Dragonbytes, interesting story about your time in Thailand. I don’t think I would have had the resolve or whatever it takes to resist those kinds of temptations. I can resist going, but if I were already there, and it was in front of me, well


dragonbytes
Surely when you travel for business you encounter a few streetwalkers? Don't you resist it then? Like in Washington DC between K and L Streets around 11th and 14th, is there much of a difference? It's cheaper in Asia, the women are better looking and there is more of a friendly negotiation in Thailand and you can buy the girl friend experience, but the principal is the same.

Oh, it exists here in Houston, not as much on the streets as online. But every time the thought crosses my mind, I remember reading stories like this one:

https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/houston-prostitution-sting-super-bowl-2018-sheriff-12613219.php



Feb 14, 2018

For the second year in a row, the Harris County Sheriff's Office made the most arrests among 30 American law enforcement agencies participating in a prostitution sting leading up to the Super Bowl.

The sheriff's office edged out agencies like the New York Police Department and the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department with 103 men arrested on charges of trying to buy sex during the National Johns Suppression Initiative.

The Houston Police Department arrested 64 men.

The Harris County Sheriff's office also said that deputies have tripled the arrests of illegal sex buyers over a three-year period, going from 146 arrests in 2014 to 433 in 2017.

The sheriff's office provided the media with the mugshots of all the men arrested in this year's sting. They are innocent until proven guilty.




MachIMustangII
I wouldn't be caught alive or dead in the local honkey tonk.

I can identify with that. There are places here in Houston where you are far more likely to be found dead than alive, and if you live out in the boonies, such places seem to be the norm rather than the exception.

MachIMustangII
Most pickup artists claim an average looking guy gets lucky 20% of the time--that means 80% rejection. I wouldn't invest in a stock that only returns 20% of the time. I wouldn't want to spend dinner money to fail 80% of the time.

Dude, this ain’t the stock market. We’re talking about whether you’re going to be celibate the rest of your life, or invest some effort to (at least occasionally) get lucky. I know where I’m investing my money, time, energy, and effort, and it ain’t with celibacy!!!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 137
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 10:33:36 AM

Dude, this ain’t the stock market. We’re talking about whether you’re going to be celibate the rest of your life, or invest some effort to (at least occasionally) get lucky.


Beat me to it. This is essentially what I was going to say.


(to put it bluntly, sorry for the TMI ladies).


Never apologize for being who you are or saying what's on your mind. I say and do whatever the hell I want unapologetically, and sure, some might piss and moan about it, but deep inside, I believe most respect it and wish they had the intestinal fortitude to be the same way.

Furthermore, we have New Yorker talking about banging co-workers and Sienna fantasizing about guys sucking their own d*cks.

Enough said.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 138
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 10:54:43 AM
"Dude, this ain’t the stock market. We’re talking about whether you’re going to be celibate the rest of your life, or invest some effort to (at least occasionally) get lucky. I know where I’m investing my money, time, energy, and effort, and it ain’t with celibacy!!!"

>>>well, I won't go so far as to say I've come to peace with the inevitable :) But as the Pigster likes to point out recently, I won't bend over backwards to wade thru BS in the hopes of getting lucky--those days are long gone, b/c I just don't need to be that way anymore. I do invest some effort in ladies worth it--a few years ago, I had met someone here who turned out to have an STD (I appreciate her respect to tell me, but what came next brought things to an agreed halt), two summers ago I guess I dated a former classmate and that went nowhere as usual, and last summer I was going to ask out a hottie bank teller who is, like most around my locale, taken. its the same usual behavior I had growing up, except I did put more effort into getting just as...nowhere :)

it is what it is. I've been chasing women since at least first grade. I never had that "girls are icky" phase. Some men are attractive (back in grade school, it was my two best friends, so I got up close and personal to see they got far different reactions from the girls we chased around the playground than I ever did), and the rest of us ain't. But hey, some are athletic, and the rest ain't. Some come from privilege, and the rest have to bust their ass daily. we all were born with an advantage in something, and hopefully we accept that, and hone it to whatever edge we can. I'm not trying to play sour grapes or "boo hoo me" when I debate, i'm just saying some of us have experienced life differently, and possibly that is due to what we were, or were not, born with. Sometimes, we can get away with "fake it til you make it", but other times, a woman has a good BS meter and sees right thru it.

"never apologize for being who you are"

>>>yeah, I haven't seen skeezy or spottie or others question the intellect of your posts or claim they're going to poke their eyes out :) lol. I was just being polite--if I was really worried, I simply wouldn't have posted about the subject at all. no one has to compliment me on my hair--oh wait, I don't have any, that explains it:)--I can assume I have the respect of a few people here who lamented my recent ejection. I can say, however, (and probably have in the past) I was surprised at my 5 yr high school reunion, the amount of fellow classmates who were curious how I turned out, when they wouldn't have given me the time of day back in the day. they respected me back then for my ability to say my mind and stand my ground and not chase fads. but "Respect" and "wanting to hang out with me and do drugs" were far away from each other.

i'm comfortable with respect, and therefore I respect that some may not want to imagine me having sex :) I won't take it personally.

as for NY and Sienna, they are who they are...and like you said, they get respect for being who they are, by people wishing they could do the same. or at least, I think that's what you were arguing. my personal experience is that, yes, some people respect those who speak up. and there are others who just can't handle it.

is either side right, or are they both right?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 139
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:29:57 PM
Isn't this really an extension of the "who pays for coffee" threads that go on and on forever? Everyone has their comfort zones. All I know is I don't like to take advantage of anyone and like to pay my own way, no matter what kind of money a man has - what he has is his, not mine and if he chooses to share it without expectation, that's his prerogative, not my expectation; nor do I want to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Having money or not having money to do things doesn't make you any more special or less special. What's worse is having expectations, however, and not expressing them because you're too afraid of some kind of backlash. Problem is, if you don't express yourself, you run the risk of a worse backlash down the road. I like this one that I read not long ago:

Don't Complicate Life
Missing Somebody - Call
Wanna Meet Up - Invite
Wanna Be Understood - Explain
Have Questions - Ask
Don't Like Something - Say It
Like Something - State It
Want Something - Ask For It
Love Someone - Tell them
Keep Your Life Simple

This topic would fall under the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th of the above.

Funny thing is I don't see any of the above lines being prefaced with the word "Men" or "Women"
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 140
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:48:35 PM

I make more money than she does and I know she has some bills she is paying off, so I offered to pay for the lodging ($500) if she could cover the food, like lunch and dinners for two days. She smiled and said "Peanut butter and jelly?", and then reluctantly agreed.

Freeze-frame. This is an example of "Who pays is who asks," -- being an incorrect application. :) Guys pay because the (meat) "market" pushes for it. However, if a girl asks about going out on a bit of a pricey trip, things are by default, a bit different. And to be fair though, her response sounds like it could be tongue-in-cheek... a reluctant acceptance at first, but no-I-totally-understand. If it was a "Uggh, fine." Then there's trouble.

Rules of the Road: If you're more than just-going-out-on-dates... and you do some little trip that she asks for, and it's not some inexpensive place .... she is assumed to chip in, within reason, within her means. That's default. It's not guy-asks-girl-out-again-for-dinner-downtown.

I called a lady friend to talk with her about this, and her reply was that if I'm in love with this women, I should pay and not have any issues with it.

Bullsh!t. Your lady friend is wrong on that one. :) Two months you've been dating... being Actually In-Love, first, is a stretch at best. More like a honeymoon-phase. But even equating the two as the same -- no, you're not going to be her purse strings for expensive outings she picks out and wants to go to, all-expense-paid. Your lady friend's out in left field on that one.

So, I thought that this was too much too soon, and decided to ask my GF if she would mind if we deferred the trip for a couple of months so we could get to know each other better.

Right at this point, dialing her #, I would realize that this isn't going to go so well. :) Look, she agreed to pay for the extras, while you agreed to pay for the big brunt of the expenses (hotel costs). You didn't need to re-schedule it. You already had an agreement. You shouldn't have bought into your lady friend's faux advice.

At most, I would have called her up and talked about the trip and throw out a nice disclaimer before ordering the hotel rooms: "I did notice you were initially uncomfortable about covering the lesser costs of things on this trip you wanted. I just want to make sure that at the end of the day, you understand and are 100% cool with me getting the brunt of the costs of this trip you'd really like." If she affirmed that she Was 100% cool with it, great, you continue your plan. No probs. If she wasn't -- Then maybe you tell the jealous-of-Nicole-Kidman gal that maybe you two aren't a good match. :)

Lesson learned; I won't be rushing into any romantic vacations with a woman until I know we both love each other.

I think She was rushing into it with ya. And don't take your lady friend's advice. Similar advice would be about LIKE, not love -- if you're too wrapped up in who-pays on a 2nd date that she brought up. If That was the case, it'd be more like: "If you really Like this gal in-that-way, you're not going to worry about covering the dinner bill when she's self-supportive but works to makes ends meet, even though she brought up the idea last week."

Love has nothing to do with who pays. If you really Like her, you're not going to worry about the minor Xs and Os. However, you will Like her less if you realize that her stance is one in which she Expects a guy to pay for Everything 100% at all times -- even mini vay-cays to expensive hotels that She brings up. In an established relationship or not, going out on a trip is 100% fine! Either way, if she's self-supportive & it's something she initiated... by default, she'll at least cover some dinner or drink tab costs -- whatever's within her means. Doesn't require a calculator, nor being picky about it. It's just the common-sense principle of the matter.

Me personally? I heed falling for a gal, or end up falling back to reality, if a gal wants me tied around her finger financially. And that's not limited to just me, my age range, or my "type". :)
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 141
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/26/2018 2:56:03 PM
"isn't this really just an extension of who pays threads?"

>>>right as usual, Cham. But in this case, it did get the OP to talk to his gf and ask the dreaded "where do you see this going?" question. and they both agreed on the answer.

"Everyone has their comfort zones"

>>>and that's what it boils down to. Some people can snag JFK Jr or a Saudi prince, and date on a higher level. Bully for them. Others are dating blue collar style, and there's nothing wrong with beer and a pizza at Joey's on the corner, either. This weekend I was at a wedding, the groom pulls in 6 figures of income, and he STILL stuck his old man with the bill--even though it meant an argument b/c the old man wanted to be best man, even tho he never married the biological mother of his only child.

To paraphrase George Thurogood, everyone's funny about money :)
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 142
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 7:25:18 AM
okie dokie then how's this? lol
just tell your girlfriend that it's got nothing to do with her feelings for you. be sure to add that you think her broke *ss is just trying to take you for your money and that she thinks you're just a cash machine. hey just call her a hooker. lol
let her know that how you think money is the reason for her affection towards you.

isn't that what you're thinking?
if that is what you believe there is no reason for you to pursue this relationship.

I'd be done with you. not because you didn't spend the money but because you treated what we had like a financial arrangement not like someone that I'd love. money isn't worth being treated like that unless you're a hooker.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 143
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 9:39:30 AM
my first ex made more money than I did. we were together 18 years.
my second ex made much much less than I made. we were together 13 years.

not once did I ever hold back funds from my guy that I thought enough of to call him my boyfriend. otherwise he wouldn't have been my boyfriend.
If I had money he had money. If he had money I had money.

now if he was a guy that I wasn't sure of I dang sure wouldn't be referring to him as my boyfriend.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 144
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:02:39 AM
(sigh)

How many times does it have to be stated this woman basically said: "Hey, *I* have an idea, but *I* am not wanting to pay for any of it"?? This occurred in a new relationship. Not the brightest of moves on her part.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 145
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:49:05 AM

I'd be done with you. not because you didn't spend the money but because you treated what we had like a financial arrangement not like someone that I'd love. money isn't worth being treated like that unless you're a hooker.


She was the one that suggested the weekend away...without the funds to pay for it.
He offered to pay for the lodging, she responded she'd bring PB&J sandwiches.
She's expecting to make plans and have him pay for it?
I don't think that makes her a very cool girlfriend.
I'd dump her too.
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 146
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:09:22 AM

You certainly don't look like a country girl. I tried very briefly to live in South Carolina back in late 2007. It was in the King's Mountain area about an hour from Charlotte, N.C. I would sodomize myself with a hot curling iron before I would ever try anything like that again. I'm a city boy through and through.

As for bars, I've been a non-drinker my entire adult life, but have been in them since I was old enough. However, I understand your reluctance to enter a bar out in the country in North Carolina. The sight of overalls and the sound of banjos would surely be horrifying. :)~


Pig: You have me laughing at your comment "I would sodomize myself with a hot curling iron before I would ever try anything like that again." 😂😂😂 I'm a city girl too, so it is different down here, moved down to help a relative who relocated down here. Yes, it's a different world down here and it can be downright horrifying.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 147
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:10:16 AM
@ ms browneyesboo

oh so she's his girlfriend and everything is groovy as long he doesn't have to spend any money on her and as long as he doesn't have to have her back.
in a relationship you take care of each other. you have each others back. if you're just starting a relationship that's a good time show your mate that. maybe he doesn't think he'd have his back? then why is he calling her his girlfriend your girl already if you're not sure of this?

as soon as money came into the picture suddenly now it's oh we're still getting to each other. then she's not your girl yet is she?

I've never held back funds from a man that I thought was worthy enough to be my boyfriend my man otherwise he wouldn't have been my boyfriend my man.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 148
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:22:21 AM
Who said he wasn't spending any money on her?
They aren't married, they don't live together, they had been going
out a couple of months.

If you're comfortable taking money from someone simply because
you call him your boyfriend, that's fine.

Not everyone feels the same.
I would NEVER come up with ways to spend someone else's money.
EVER.

Showing you'll spend money on someone is not "having someone's back"
either.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 149
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:46:16 AM
okay just say she's never asked him to pay for anything or for the two of them. let's just say it never happened and things worked out for them and they ended up getting married.

vacation time rolls around. she STILL makes less money and she can't afford it but he can.
oh honey your broke *ss is staying home. I'm going on vacation. they'll go over like a led balloon.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 150
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:46:29 AM

Showing you'll spend money on someone is not "having someone's back"
either.

Exactly....Money issues/spending/handling at any stage of life is important.
Yes...when I was first married I relied on him for support...wasn't much fun.
Next one....We supported each other and he probably had a better concept of money/priorities than me.
We worked together and I learned not to spend money I didn't have.

A few years back...I met a guy, he worked his ass off but also spent it foolishly and was in debt up to his ears.
I was willing to be with him but his priorities were not the same as mine.
One of the main downfalls of our relationship.
He was taking me down with him financially.

I can tell you...dating now at my age. I have met a lot of men that don't want a free loader either.
How one spends their money...if they have any, is important to some.
Don't have to be "rich".....but I am not going to pay your way.

Just the way it is.
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