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 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 151
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Yes, it's a different world down here and it can be downright horrifying.


The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back for me was walking into a mom and pop grocery store and seeing a young guy in overalls with manure of some sort all over them like it was nothing. The stench was stomach churning, and I seemed to be the only one freaked out about it. I also needed more options for "a night out on the town" than riding lawn mower races and cow tipping. :(


as soon as money came into the picture suddenly


That's only telling HALF the story. Her throwing out ideas and being reluctant to chip in is what "came into the picture". You also have no idea of what he did or didn't spend before then.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 152
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:58:10 AM

okay just say she's never asked him to pay for anything or for the two of them. let's just say it never happened and things worked out for them and they ended up getting married.

vacation time rolls around. she STILL makes less money and she can't afford it but he can.
oh honey your broke *ss is staying home. I'm going on vacation. they'll go over like a led balloon.


Or we could say, she never asked him to pay for anything or for the two of them.
And they ended up getting married. Vacation time rolls around and he says let's go on vacation.
She has no money, but he doesn't mind, because they're a couple and they do things together.
So he plans the vacation, as he knows it's something she's always wanted to do.
What sort of farkin ***hole is part of a relationship and goes on vacation without their SO
because they don't have money?

Are you being deliberately obtuse or are you looking for something to argue about?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 153
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 12:04:28 PM
Some people obviously have a different definition of "having someone's back" than others. If someone I was involved with got into a financial jam, I might "have their back" by helping them out.

I don't consider inviting someone away for the weekend and expecting them to foot the entire bill as "having their back".

By the same token, I don't think being invited away for the weekend by someone who's unwilling to pay their share demonstrates to me that they "have my back". The only backs they want to have are my greenbacks.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 154
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 12:10:18 PM
@ ms browneyesboo

I'm happy to spend money on someone that I care about. Id enjoy seeing him enjoy himself. I'd enjoy myself either way.
I would not feel the money is wasted to find out what they're all about.

If he's not sure that's what she's about maybe he ought to quit calling her his girl so soon.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 155
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 12:17:54 PM

oh so she's his girlfriend and everything is groovy as long he doesn't have to spend any money on her and as long as he doesn't have to have her back.
in a relationship you take care of each other. you have each others back.

Yes -- Each Other's back. You're misreading it -- he was WANTING to spend money, the brunt of it, on a trip that She brought up. But it's Common Sense for Her to contribute, within her means. That's part of it being a 2-way street. Otherwise, she doesn't have his back -- she has the stance of "I don't pay for sh!t. I'm a lady." That's not having Each Other's back.

I've never held back funds from a man that I thought was worthy enough to be my boyfriend

Okay then... so if you brought up an idea to go to travel to a nice place on the beach, and your new boyfriend said "Okay, yeah, let's do it... I'll drive us out there, I'll get those nice, fancy hotel rooms... you just chip in for lunch & dinners... what part of the beach were you thinking? Closer to the shopping strip, or more the getaway spot?" -- You wouldn't freak out and think he doesn't have "your back", right?

she STILL makes less money and she can't afford it but he can.

Again, it's not about flipping a coin to see who pays for Everything. It's about contributing within your means. If all she can afford without screwing her budget is a dinner on Fri night + dinner on Sat night + some ice cream cones at the beach, fine. She's not Broke -- he just makes more money than he does, and she's got her bills, so yeah, to Her idea, he's going to pay the brunt of it all.

I don't see why people are looking at this like she's dead broke. If she was, the OP would be in a different position.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 156
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 12:32:40 PM
personally I'm happy to spend money on someone that I care about even if I'm paying for all of it. I'd enjoy seeing him enjoy himself. I'd enjoy myself either way. I would not feel the money is wasted just to find out what they're about even if it turns out to not be in my favor. I'd still have enjoy the experience finding out.

if you're more worried about being taken advantage of than enjoying a potential partner you may as well just stay home.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 157
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 12:54:39 PM
^ SugarmamaOfYourDreams
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 158
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 1:39:02 PM
"How many times does it have to be stated this woman basically said: "Hey, *I* have an idea, but *I* am not wanting to pay for any of it"?? This occurred in a new relationship. Not the brightest of moves on her part."

>>it would have been classier on her part, if she had sighed, "boy, if only I wasn't in so much debt, you know what i'd like to do?" and then explained the plan. I've had attractive female friends throw things like that out there, to see if I would bite. Like the OP, I already knew their financial situation isn't as great as mine...and I might still say, yeah, its a nice weather day in February, going to the beach and then having a $40 dinner with you does sound better than sitting around the house, let's go do that.

(the fact the friend most likely to suggest it has a convertible sports car with heated leather seats, yeah, that has nothing to do with it :) ).

there are some Big Men out there, who want to be patriarchical and pay for things just to show they are Bringing Home The Bacon. If a woman can wiggle her ass and catch one, then good for her. I'm not traveling in The Big Shot realm. I think the big picture here isn't her "indecent proposal", but that they had The Talk about Where Do You See This Relationship Going...and where it wasn't going was to the beach on his dime.

now they both have clarity.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 159
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 2:20:56 PM
@ mr pigofyourdreams

lol oh it wouldn't be like that. I can't afford it. It would be a rare occasion for me to spend money like that so I'd dang sure make it worth my while. I'd have a blast either way no matter how things turned out between him and I.
believe me if he's after money then he will be happy to move on because it'll be back to my top ramen budget. lol

It all depends on what you plan to get out of it.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 160
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 2:29:01 PM
I'm dirt poor. I don't hide that fact. I would never suggest something as pricey as a weekend away. If a man I am dating wants to do things that cost that kind of money he would be well aware that I don't have the means to contribute. Heck I am trying to sort out how I am going to go to the graduation for one of my sons. I will be counting my pennies for that long before planning any sort of getaway with a beau.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 161
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 8:56:03 PM

spot4username
I'm dirt poor. I don't hide that fact. I would never suggest something as pricey as a weekend away. If a man I am dating wants to do things that cost that kind of money he would be well aware that I don't have the means to contribute. Heck I am trying to sort out how I am going to go to the graduation for one of my sons. I will be counting my pennies for that long before planning any sort of getaway with a beau.

Sorry to hear that (dirt poor). I grew up so poor … well, you don’t want to hear about it. It is not a lot of fun. On the other hand, you don’t need money to be happy. The best years of my life were in college, and I was constantly dead broke. But so were all of my friends, and we had some great times anyway.


MachIMustangII
it would have been classier on her part, if she had sighed, "boy, if only I wasn't in so much debt, you know what i'd like to do?" and then explained the plan. I've had attractive female friends throw things like that out there, to see if I would bite. Like the OP, I already knew their financial situation isn't as great as mine...and I might still say, yeah, its a nice weather day in February, going to the beach and then having a $40 dinner with you does sound better than sitting around the house, let's go do that.

You make a very good point, you often do. Glad to have you back, by the way.

My reaction to something like that will depend a great deal on how it is presented. The way the OP talked about his girl friend’s presentation of the proposed getaway would have turned me off. What you just described, no problem, I would have been ready to go.

And what spot4username talked about, above, if I were dating someone and they talked about saving their pennies to go see their son graduate, guess who would be visiting a travel agent?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 162
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:10:09 PM

@ mr pigofyourdreams

lol oh it wouldn't be like that. I can't afford it. It would be a rare occasion for me to spend money like that so I'd dang sure make it worth my while. I'd have a blast either way no matter how things turned out between him and I.
believe me if he's after money then he will be happy to move on because it'll be back to my top ramen budget. lol


Aww, come on. I want to go to Italy. Make it happen. I will generously contribute by covering the expenses for bottled water and sunflower seeds.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 163
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:17:10 PM
^^^send me a postcard lol
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 164
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:18:54 PM
No, you're coming, too. She is very generous.

 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 165
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:25:48 PM
I'm in....I'll pay for the bread, crush some nuts as I seek out the jelly for the sandwishes.

Edit: vvv


Just make sure they're not mine.


I promise to kiss your boo boo's better



 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 166
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:29:18 PM


crush some nuts


Just make sure they're not mine.



 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 167
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:31:02 PM
She agreed to pay what you asked, stop b!tching. Now she knows not to ask if she's not prepared to pay for some expenses.

I read she's new as of 2 months, then see you said you know her 3 months and are passionate, but things ended over this trip??? Something sounds shady. If she agreed to contribute, why did you continue to mull it over? Sounds like it would have been a fantastic trip. If you didn't want to go, why even ask her to pay expenses?
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 168
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:37:42 PM

but things ended over this trip???

I think SHE may have now decided "he's cheap" for not cheerfully covering the entire trip.
This may have been a test for bigger things to some. Anything is possible...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 169
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:56:15 PM
I don't think he's been fully forthcoming about this story, it doesn't add up.

Gee, let's compare this to spending less money in a 3rd world country for a cheap sex and drug holiday to fvck 12 year old girls.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 170
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 10:59:19 PM

I don't think he's been fully forthcoming about this story, it doesn't add up.


It adds up just fine. This is simply another case of you not being able to stand the thought of a woman being wrong.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 171
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:13:45 PM
She suggested the getaway, he said what she could pay for and so it was settled. What's the big freaking deal? That's why I say there is more to the story, and because he said it was a two-month relationship but then said 3 months and very passionate.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 172
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:24:55 PM
^^^ It's over and done - they've gone their separate ways... Not sure why we're still debating...
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 173
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:25:18 PM

She suggested the getaway, he said what she could pay for and so it was settled. What's the big freaking deal? That's why I say there is more to the story, and because he said it was a two-month relationship but then said 3 months and very passionate.


She smiled and said "Peanut butter and jelly?", and then reluctantly agreed.

You made damn sure to leave that part out, didn't you?

 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 174
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:35:44 PM
She agreed to pay! The bloom is off the rose and now he is not interested anymore. That's what this is about. He's had sex with her for 3 months and now he is ready to move on.

Plus, he let her pick the hotel? It's $250 a nite for the Carolinas? Try $100 a night.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/SmartDeals-g49004-Carolina_Beach_North_Carolina-Hotel-Deals.html

 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 175
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Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/28/2018 2:13:46 AM

I'm happy to spend money on someone that I care about even if I'm paying for all of it.

Great... Then yeah, you wouldn't have any problem being in the OP's new GF's position, who when asking if he'd like to go, would only (reasonably) have to pay for what she could afford.

it would have been classier on her part, if she had sighed, "boy, if only I wasn't in so much debt, you know what i'd like to do?" and then explained the plan.

I agree.... but I will say this: Some posters are assuming she's dirt poor or something. It seems quite apparent that if the OP knew that it even probably was out of her price range to grab a couple dinner tabs when out on a mini-vaycay that she suggested going to -- he wouldn't have even have made the post.

She agreed to pay what you asked, stop b!tching. Now she knows not to ask if she's not prepared to pay for some expenses.

He was concerned. He wanted to make sure he wasn't off-base. He wasn't b!tching.

She suggested the getaway, he said what she could pay for and so it was settled. What's the big freaking deal?

That she said, probably tongue-in-cheek but with a sigh, that she'd make PB&J as far as dinner outings. So he was concerned how much it affected her. It seemed reasonable, not out of her budget to cover the lower-end stuff -- but huh?

So there was a little unsettling feeling, because she agreed to pay some, with a groan. I disagree with what he did after, don't get me wrong. I think he should have just hit her up and said he was looking around at hotels... and just wanted to be on the same page that everything was cool, as he got a sense she was a bit upset? If she's like "No, I'm cool about it, it makes sense [Bob]," he'd have a sigh of relief.
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