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 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 51
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Casual sex and dating...Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
[old-school isn't necessarily a good school]
Your opinion--Certainly not mine, (and looks like we have different music preferences as well.)

[if we're "just dating" ..."But isn't that "casual" sex, ]

hahaha -Nope. It isn't. (Not how I define it anyway.) ymmv

[Extra glad I didn't sleep with him! ... Not if you came to find out already after "just dating]

True if we thought the same, but we do not and your view on "just dating"-- Is not mine.

Definition of "sleeping around"
1. When someone has been having sex with several different people.
2. Sometimes used pejoratively when referring to a person in a relationship who's been cheating on his or her partner.

I used the term with the second sense in mind.

Sleeping around? Not a fan of it. - Glad you can understand.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 52
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Posted: 3/7/2018 8:08:22 AM
I don't sleep around for my BOB gets very jealous....
He tends to ejaculate corrosive stuff which causes him to have a seizure.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 53
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 8:57:19 AM

I don't believe that being christian makes one do right.


Exactly, and it's always astounding to know many Christians believe morality can't exist without religion. Most of them have never actually read a Bible and have no idea just how disgusting and horrific the content truly is, yet they consider it their grand source of moral lessons.

I served over 10 years in Catholic schools, and I eagerly awaited graduation not only for the sake of no longer having to go to school but to also escape living a lie to placate my teachers, the church, and fellow students. I was forced to study the Bible five days a week and attend noon mass every Friday, resentful of the fact I was being taught things I knew were harmful and degrading. The notion I and my fellow human beings were lowly piece of shit sinners indebted to a creator that didn't fault itself for what it created was absolutely absurd to me.

I will always be grateful for the quality of education I received, but will never appreciate the "indoctrination" process (aka brainwashing) I was forced to endure.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 54
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 9:25:00 AM
I'm Catholic too and while I'd definitely say I'm culturally Catholic, I wouldn't call myself a religious Catholic. I go to church and I pray but I don't accept a lot of the church's "teachings". I believe in a higher power who I call God and I believe in Jesus and his teachings (most are very good teachings) but I have a hard time with certain subject areas that the church has condemned. For instance, the church considers birth control a mortal sin but I'm on it as we speak so does that make me as bad as a murderer? I don't agree. And I'm a fornicator too which I'm not ashamed off.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 55
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Posted: 3/7/2018 10:03:05 AM
Just be careful about trying to date someone at work guys...
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 56
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 10:05:21 AM

He tends to ejaculate corrosive stuff which causes him to have a seizure.


Cynderella: He sounds like he's on his last leg. lol.


I will always be grateful for the quality of education I received, but will never appreciate the "indoctrination" process (aka brainwashing) I was forced to endure.


Pig: I can relate. I grew up under Catholicism and me being the inquisitive wonder that I am, it didn't bode well. It was the mentality of "do as your told and don't ask questions," which never sat well with me.


I have a hard time with certain subject areas that the church has condemned.


Same here Julystorm. I grew up in a devout Catholic household based on my dad. I don't agree with some of things that are viewed as mortal sins, but I've seen many devout Catholics sin - my 75 y.o. dad included, who is now "shacking up" with his 25 y.o. live in girlfriend.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 57
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 10:37:56 AM

I believe in a higher power who I call God and I believe in Jesus and his teachings (most are very good teachings)


No, they absolutely are not, and that is where your concern should be. Do you believe disobedient children should be put to death??


do as your told and don't ask questions


Question everything. Everything. Failing to do so can be dangerous, which we have all seen in many aspects of our lives.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 58
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 10:56:11 AM

Pig: I can relate. I grew up under Catholicism and me being the inquisitive wonder that I am, it didn't bode well. It was the mentality of "do as your told and don't ask questions," which never sat well with me.


Ditto, in being able to relate, although not in a Catholic family. After being told at a very young age, by those "wonderful" Christian church goers, that I'm destined to go to Hell, because I made the mistake of acting like a kid when I was a kid, instead of standing at attention like a zombie in church and believing everything I was ordered to believe at all times, as well as making the mistake of asking questions about proof of a higher power-I thought, what was the point of going to church if I'm already condemned by God (according to those who think they know what God is thinking), and will spend eternity in Hell?

And then they wondered why church attendance was declining, and why the offspring of the older members weren't attending church every Sunday. Gee-can't figure that out. Younger people might as well attend a Satanist church instead, since children are being told they're going to Hell for eternity for being children.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 59
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 11:07:58 AM

according to those who think they know what God is thinking


They know what "he" is thinking and understand him thoroughly. Well, until they are thrown a question they can't answer, and completely flip the script on you by saying "he" is beyond our understanding.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 60
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 11:08:19 AM
"it was insulting..the presumption I was like the rest of the females he's encountered"

>>>unless he has a particular "like" and sticks with that type of woman, I can understand. I get some BS artist trying to pull the wool over my eyes, and I don't call them out on it, and people wonder why. I explain that if I did call them out, they'd come up with an even bigger lie. which would annoy me even further. So, I just leave people with their own stupidity (ie, their assumptions about me) for company. screw them. they're annoying, they're frustrating, but they aren't renting space inside my head :).

"its always astounding to know just how many Christians believe morality can't exist without religion"

>>>i'll assume they haven't been taught there can be another path to morality. They may never have a real humanist in their social circle, to explain that people can do good without a fear of afterlife punishment. So, they only work with the knowledge they've experienced, and not consider there's another way to skin the proverbial cat. Maybe a late night college-dorm discussion will educate them, if they would just listen :)

Declining church attendance has been an issue since American colonial times, which is why they had repeated Great Awakenings, to try to bring back the flock. But the pedophile scandal could be the nail in the coffin. They totally, absolutely, fucked that beyond all recognition.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 61
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Posted: 3/7/2018 12:43:46 PM

[old-school isn't necessarily a good school]
Your opinion--Certainly not mine, (and looks like we have different music preferences as well.)

Well, it's not just my opinion though -- that Broad statement of old-school isn't Necessarily good-school -- otherwise, one's just in love with the concept of nostalgia itself. Claiming that something actually Has objective value it, yet all that's to go on is nostalgia, is objectively going down the wrong road. Unfortunately this far too often goes unchallenged.

It's just a fact that there are many old-school "values" that are negative. The warm-fuzzies from upbringing & memories doesn't make a proposed value objectively Better, even though it'll fool our emotions that it is. Sure, some will claim that "Oh it's just how I am and how I feel," when challenged, but at the end of the day, it's not just a feeling to them. But, a lot of people Pick-n-Choose which "old school" values they like, yet still call themselves "old-school" because that's how they want to be. Like casual sex ala casual dating, even though mama would have none of that! :)

hahaha -Nope. It isn't. (Not how I define it anyway.) ymmv

I'm just using the English language here as the backdrop. If I'm "just dating" someone -- it's a casual situation between them and I, correct? Therefore, if I'm having sex with someone in which it's just a casual situation between them and I, how does that not fit the bill of "casual sex"? The 'just' in "just dating" is to emphasize that it's a casual situation, not a serious one.

1. When someone has been having sex with several different people.

Which yes, I agree = "sleeping around", as I said that before, sure...

2. Sometimes used pejoratively when referring to a person in a relationship who's been cheating on his or her partner.

I used the term with the second sense in mind.

But doesn't #1 imply casual sex, which you're not a fan of? I thought that was your main thing. I don't think there's ever an argument about cheating being bad or not. I think we all agree on that one.

Exactly, and it's always astounding to know many Christians believe morality can't exist without religion.

I've had arguments and did a college debate on this. Those who do believe this want to believe it's true, because it gives their religion more value. There are many Xians who don't believe this, but believe it's a reinforcement tool... kind of like leaning on what your parents say as it keeps you "in line", in that regard. To a fundamentalist, the thought that you don't Need Xianity to be ethical? Sucks the value & strength of the beliefs right out.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 62
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Posted: 3/7/2018 5:23:07 PM

Cynderella: He sounds like he's on his last leg. lol.


Nope not last leg, last battery
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 63
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Posted: 3/7/2018 5:24:39 PM
Battery? It should plug into the wall.

 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 64
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Posted: 3/7/2018 6:31:15 PM
It should be a plug in rechargable like my beard trimmer. Time to head back to the sex shop Cynderella...
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 65
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Posted: 3/7/2018 7:17:34 PM



While just because someone is a Christian don't mean they are going to do right is true has the simple truth is there are bad people in like ever religion/race and also good people to and same with people that don't believe in any god at all. With that said I do believe that human conscious comes from god rather or not someone thinks that is true or just some like random thing that people think we have. While the notion that we come by accident is just absolutely absurd to me and no matter if you think there is a god or not I think tastes faith either way but to believe in god I think tastes much less. But yeah that is a talk for another time don't want to get to far of topic here.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 66
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Posted: 3/7/2018 7:31:55 PM
How do you quote things? When I try I keep getting what I am saying in a box instead of what the other person is saying? With that said here is what I was going to say.

Sex is scary but heck for me just the though of even getting into a relationship is scary has I am not good with people in general has I am shy. The being a virgin at a older age don't really bother me much its just the being single and having never really been in a relationship that bothers me more so then the virgin part. That ex-gf thing just sounds odd.

While just being in a relationship for me would be out of my comfort zone but like I said sex is something I think should be special and with someone you love not just something you do because it fells good or you want to like see the other person naked.

While I think just going on dates/hanging with women is more important to meeting like the one then having sex and some people don't get married in till much later in life and after dating a lot of people where other people will date just like 1 person at a young age and it will be the one and then some people will take a while to go on a date but end up with like the first person they date.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 67
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 7:57:35 PM

no matter if you think there is a god or not I think tastes faith either way but to believe in god I think tastes much less.


Young man, lack of belief due to lack of evidence has nothing to do with faith. Believers are accepting the idea a "God" exists with no evidence to support it. THAT is "faith" and a whole f*ck-ton of it.
 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 68
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Posted: 3/8/2018 2:59:41 AM
Are you serious?
You really take the time to "challenge" everyone on common expressions? Along with every printed word scrutinized for the least of mistakes? Then complete with your real or imagined facts and figures? Must take you hours!

"Old-school isn't necessarily a good school"
Never said it was but that doesn't make it always a bad or wrong one either! pffft- Again. Just your opinion- not mine.

"As far as "Old school goes unchallenged" I'd say there are people that Pick-n-Choose what's "bad" about it when it doesn't suit their purposes.
Really nothing more than going down the wrong road looking for any type of justification when there isn't one, but they feel the need to do so. Feeds their ego and fools their emotions, You know- gives them that extra special warm fuzzy feeling of "being right" but at the end of the day- it was nothing more than... just a misguided feeling. Yet it seems to comfort them and that's how they want it to be. Regrettably this too, often goes "unchallenged."

My original comments were to the Op. Not directed at you in any way or for one of your "challenges."

However your smug presumptions that a woman or man just HAS to be (and should be) sleeping with anyone they're "just dating" is nonsense and incorrect. Yes. That may be what you (as well as a lot of others) do but it sure doesn't make it "everyone" does- nor should it. So yes. I meant exactly what I said. "I would be extra happy I didn't sleep with him."

...but you weren't going to let that go "unchallenged" either!" geesh!

Take note- Never have I stated that my viewpoint" (or yours for that matter) was either "right or wrong" and unlike you- written walls of text on how and what everyone else "should be doing and behaving.

Please. No need to explain over and over to me "your view" on "dating" or "casual sex" Rest assured I got it the "first time." I knew of it before this. You are redundant on the other threads on this subject. So much so, I have been skipping over your posts.

Not everyone always "has" to agree with you. Not everyone will agree with me. Difference is I accept that others have the right to live their life their way-not mine.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 69
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Posted: 3/8/2018 7:47:00 AM
^^^ Who are you directing this to? Norwegianguy456?
 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 70
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Posted: 3/8/2018 10:04:29 AM
Yes Cool.

But shouldn't have. Something way to minor.
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/8/2018 10:08:51 AM
I'm looking for a relationship but will go with the flow and see what happens. I'm not going to say no if I'm attracted or at least semi-attracted to someone. Ideally I'd like to get to know someone over the course of a few days then let things fall into place. I've dated women that initiated sex on the first date and I've dated one person for 2 months without going all the way. That amount of time is kind of rare. I've been with a few woman that weren't looking for a long term relationship but we enjoyed each others company so we'd hang out and things would happen. One told me she had a FWB but said she didn't get those benefits when she was getting them from me.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 72
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/8/2018 10:16:50 AM
Hopefully someone will give the "how to quote" tutorial yet again. I copy and paste b/c my ass is dumb. one day i'll pay attention to the tutorial.

"Sex is scary"

>>>hopefully, you'll find someone who find it endearing, or cares too much about you to care, or is equally scared and won't try to rudely deflect it all on you. Relationships are scary, too, which is why some prefer casual. we have commercials about parenting here, that no one's ever perfect at it, but just loving your kid can do wonders. Some football coach once said, half of success is just showing up ready to try. When I was young, I tried reading everything I could on relationships so i'd be "ready" when one landed in my lap.

hah. yeah, that worked out like I planned :)

I agree with finewinery. We all should be comfortable with how we choose to live our lives, and others theirs'. we all want our own special thing to come out of a relationship. as long as we get it without hurting anyone....then that's good enough for them. If you can make a relationship work, and I have to settle for casual sex...well, that's how biology works. The best genes survive to multiply. BUT...people should make sound decisions. If you haven't experimented with something, how do you know its bad? if you can give a logical argument why you don't need experience to know something is bad, you have logic to tell you why its bad...well, good, you made an educated decision.

but if you're just going by what you learned at your parents' knee...well...it might behoove you to expand your horizons, to borrow a popular phrase.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 73
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/8/2018 12:09:19 PM
Copy the post you're replying to, then paste it between the quote tags.

[ quote]paste post content here[/ quote]

Remove the spaces you see in the quote tags before you post it, though. I had to place the spaces there to keep the tags from activating.
 ezra778
Joined: 3/2/2018
Msg: 74
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/10/2018 8:11:07 AM
No, jealousy and attachment should not be an issue. Free love and expressions of joy and physical bliss are paramount to a person's well being.
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 5/11/2017
Msg: 75
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/10/2018 8:50:34 AM

So, only a woman who has sex within the confines of a relationship can possibly have respect for herself??


I've never met a woman with deep and enduring love for herself who risked pregnancy and disease to have meaningless sex with some random guy she just met. The risk for what is most likely going to be bad sex is simply too big.
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