Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Casual sex and dating...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 101
Casual sex and dating...Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
just to throw some jalapenos into the soup....some think celibacy came into religion when too many children born to priests in far away villages, tried to inherit church owned land. But of course there was also the Divine Right of Kings, if the king serviced too many of the court wenches and the offspring tried to claim the throne, the crops might go to ruin. Seems that when people could be adults by teenaged years and the only birth control was lamb intestines and buggery, the results of sex could grow up to become problems.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 102
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/13/2018 1:43:55 PM

I meant that in the sense of -I know people who have sex on dates -as well as those with relationships. We are friends. I respect their right to their decision and they respect mine.

To be fair though, you Don't respect the decision to have casual sex -- which is sex in a casual situation; like just on a mere date. You made that quite apparent laying it out. Just call a spade a spade. :) I think with certain friends we can be respectful of Them doing something we don't respect, as the human condition is prone to contradiction.

Women (many – most?) can be very jealous of seeing other women (better looking women?) going out and having fun with men while they are sitting home wishing the phone would ring. So they call these women who are getting attention from men names. Names like “whores” and “easy” and other demeaning prejudicial terms.

Yes, I agree. Most of the female name-calling/scoffing of those who do have casual sex is fueled by other females. And other males who "can't get any". Both seeded by jealousy. But if you eliminate the female scoffing at girls who get the male attention -- you'd have a more open, less stressful environment.

A lot of the problems caused by the religious ninnys are due to jealousy. Fear that other people are having fun while they’re not.

Yeah, I agree. They WANT consequences. Religion's basis is to emphasize discipline in life, which we all need to at least be reminded of. And definitely when raising kids, many folks who aren't even very religious still like that environment-setting for their kids. After all, they're not hitting the night clubs while in this mode for the next 20 years. Once situated into that, we Don't want to hear about Barbara being out late at night every Fri & Sat, and sowing some oats here and there. Not without Consequences! Give us the consequences! Not that one's consciously thinking that off the top of their head (some nearly are though) -- but that's really the underpinnings of it. And when there Are plenty of people & stories of people doing stupid stuff, we can be conditioned that it Is wrong.

But at the end of the day, it's overboard. Yes, play your cards right -- no card tricks required -- you can have fun enjoying weekend nights in social nightlife places that come in a variety of genres that aren't what mamma would "like" so much.... while avoiding bad consequences.

Just like some people think every bar's the same -- social conservative people will think everyone who likes going out and enjoying a carefree social life outside the confines of "family values" are all the same, too. They don't Want to believe that negative consequences are not virtually guaranteed.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 2:56:35 AM
YES I do believe in a FWB but in saying that usually one or the other gets to deep and someone gets hurt....I had just that then gets the brainstorm I wanted a real relationship with another....well THAT didn't work out and my FWB went off and got married....lol...and doing quite well too....lol I am glad for her but it was good while it lasted.....
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 104
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 12:14:40 PM

Women (many – most?) can be very jealous of seeing other women (better looking women?) going out and having fun with men while they are sitting home wishing the phone would ring. So they call these women who are getting attention from men names. Names like “whores” and “easy” and other demeaning prejudicial terms.


It's nothing to be jealous of. I could pull d*ck multiple days a week but it's not worth the emotional and physical stress. And condoms don't protect against everything. I have 2 female acquaintances who are late. One had unprotected sex with a guy off Tinder (their first meet) and the other ****ed some dude she met on Instagram. I offer an ear to listen and don't judge them harshly. However, their predicaments do not sound like "fun" at all. I'd rather be dry than be in their situations. No****or **** is THAT great.
 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 105
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 12:52:31 PM

I offer an ear to listen and don't judge them harshly. However, their predicaments do not sound like "fun" at all. I'd rather be dry than be in their situations. No****or **** is THAT great.


Could not agree more!
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 1:37:29 PM

Being that casual sex is correlated with depression among young women, women receive the short end of the stick in that bargain.
_______________________
I've heard that in a few of my psychology classes as well. It makes you wonder how many people are walking around wounded and depressed and trying to self-medicate by looking for a fix in someone else by being open to casual sex.


So we’ve replaced religious scaremongering to keep people (women?) in place with this model.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 107
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 2:08:43 PM

It's nothing to be jealous of. I could pull d*ck multiple days a week but it's not worth the emotional and physical stress. And condoms don't protect against everything. I have 2 female acquaintances who are late. One had unprotected sex with a guy off Tinder (their first meet) and the other ****ed some dude she met on Instagram. I offer an ear to listen and don't judge them harshly. However, their predicaments do not sound like "fun" at all. I'd rather be dry than be in their situations. No****or **** is THAT great.


Sounds like the problem was more about having unprotected sex than having casual sex. Yes I know condoms aren't 100% effective. But chances are they wouldn't be in this predicament if they used protection and possibly birth control.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 108
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 4:43:37 PM
pulling D multiple times, sounds like a handie :)

But is casual sex really arbitrary sex? People I know who engage in casual sex, still tend to pick a "type" of partner. Funny, or arrogant, or player, or some other category. and then there's a bunch of their male friends stuck in the friend zone, which I guess suggests the casual sex'er isn't being arbitrary. They don't just want any sex organ, they want some type of personality behind it, even if it appears to be on some superficial level.

as for the perils of unprotected sex...the irony is, its really great AT THAT TIME. if it didn't feel so darn good, we wouldn't do it and take such a risk. just like we know being drunk is bad, but it feels so good at the moment we keep doing it.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 109
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 4:57:27 PM


I've never met a woman with deep and enduring love for herself who risked pregnancy and disease to have meaningless sex with some random guy she just met. The risk for what is most likely going to be bad sex is simply too big.


Ah, you've never met them, so they can't exist?? Well, you and your friends should simply do your own thing and not try to convince other women there's something wrong with them for having sex with anyone they want and for any reason they want.


Sounds like the problem was more about having unprotected sex than having casual sex.


Bingo.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 110
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/14/2018 9:04:45 PM

It's nothing to be jealous of. I could pull d*ck multiple days a week but it's not worth the emotional and physical stress.

Certainly you can, but so can many many women who aren't so pretty either. That doesn't mean jealousy disappears. Plenty of very pretty but uptight gals mall-watching at a bar, and scoff at cute-but-not-as-pretty Jane clamouring on some guys and getting attention (and thus possibly d*ck). A pretty Penny can be jealous of an over flirty Felicia hornying-in on a guy that Penny was talking to previously.

And condoms don't protect against everything.

Neither does kissing. Or even mutual masturbation, playing too close, if we're talking 100%. Nor is going out at night frequently even in the safest way VS always staying at home. Take away tribalism, and weigh the actual pros & cons realistically, when it comes to everything -- and the argument doesn't hold much water. That is, of course, if you don't count a "con" as one scoffing at the idea of fun-whimsical sex -- even if there were zero physical consequences under any & all conditions. That's actually The "con" -- brought on by tribal ideology that thwarts most.

One had unprotected sex with a guy off Tinder (their first meet) and the other ****ed some dude she met on Instagram.

As said before, it's about being stupid with sex -- as with many other things -- whether they were a guy they were already datING when it happened, a new boyfriend, an LTR, or some guy she met that night. Sex with someone you meet in-the-moment didn't cause their predicaments. Thinking so is just emotion overriding logic.

But is casual sex really arbitrary sex?

I don't think it's limited to that, no. Casual sex is, well, casual sex. Technically in the confines of a Relationship you can have casual sex ("Babe, pull over... pull over. F it, let's bang, nobody will see.") -- but for clarification, that's within that context of a Relationship. When not within any other context, I guess the assumption is -- sex within a casual relationship between the two.

People I know who engage in casual sex, still tend to pick a "type" of partner.

Oh, of course. Many guys would love it if it was truly random what gals picked.

They don't just want any sex organ, they want some type of personality behind it, even if it appears to be on some superficial level.

Yeah, even to mingle with for a while and to indulge in flirting/attraction-exchange/mingling. So obviously if one were to have casual sex with said person, it'd cum after that's established. That said, some gals when in frisky-fun mode, it's more that the Attractive guy is interactive, not dumb, has a personality, they seem to jive/flow decently well. That's about it -- which, to be fair, may not be So easy to cum by for every gal, if/when she's waiting on guys to approach Her to start mingling. Although when a gal isn't That attracted to a guy, or has her guard-up about "men", it doesn't take much to "toss" them out in those depts.
 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 111
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/15/2018 9:51:21 AM

you Don't respect the decision to have casual sex You made that quite apparent laying it out. Just call a spade a spade. :)


Wait now...Let me explain what I meant...By that I meant ...Exactly what I said!

Hate to break it to ya (scoff)-"Respect" regarding "casual sex"- isn't what I think or care about. My "feelings" about "casual sex" and my friends (anyone else for that matter) would be "concern" for their well being.

Something I don't have respect for- Are those who feel "the need" to give others hurtful so called (scoff ) helpful" advice- especially when it's noticeable it's not even a "one time thing."

It's cruel, rude, unnecessary and uncalled for. (Just calling a spade a spade) :) Might ask why "they" feel the need to do so. Regrettably it often goes unchallenged. Sadly. I'm 99% certain "they" will heedlessly continue.


Yeah, I agree. They WANT consequences.

pffft-That one is so ridiculous I won't even go there.


So easy to cum by for every gal, it'd cum after that's established.


Crude, rude, and vulgar much? Just calling a (spade a spade.) :) Got to say "No respect" for this either-Grow up!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/15/2018 5:58:48 PM

siisaa
It's nothing to be jealous of. I could pull d*ck multiple days a week but it's not worth the emotional and physical stress.

“pull d*ck” – where did that come from? I am quite old, I have been a prolific reader for around 60 years, and I have never encountered that particular phrase before. Did you just make that up or ???

Doesn’t really matter, we can figure out your meaning easily enough.

But you seem to have missed my point here. One woman can be jealous of other women, regardless of the relative levels of attraction. If woman A is going out on dates, and having fun, while woman B is not, then Woman B is very likely to be jealous of Woman A. Doesn’t matter who is more attractive.

Say Woman A is not as attractive. But she is flirtatious, fun, and (just maybe) has casual sex when she feels like it. Whereas Woman B runs around talking about how casual sex is terrible because 2 of her girl friends are pregnant. Guess who I’m going to ask out?

Doesn’t mean that Woman B couldn’t “pull d*ck” any time she wanted to. But if she chooses to **** and moan about her pregnant girl friends instead of going out and having fun, well …


south_city
Sounds like the problem was more about having unprotected sex than having casual sex.


TPOYD
Bingo.

+2

In this day and age, you have to be pretty damn stupid to suffer an unwanted pregnancy. Could it happen, despite birth control? Yes, but the odds are VERY heavy in your favor if you take even minimal precautions. And if you have not one, but two, girl friends who are “accidentally” knocked up, then I would suggest you pick your friends a little more carefully. As in people with working brains.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 113
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/15/2018 6:57:38 PM
To ALL of the above, from page one.

I can think of a few good reasons, it's a very good idea to keep one's mouth shut.
No need whatsoever to broadcast what one does in their own time, "behind closed doors".
What one chooses to do or not do ................only becomes other peoples business when you TELL THEM!, LOL)

(I'm not referring to anything written here)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/15/2018 9:02:56 PM

In this day and age, you have to be pretty damn stupid to suffer an unwanted pregnancy. Could it happen, despite birth control? Yes, but the odds are VERY heavy in your favor if you take even minimal precautions. And if you have not one, but two, girl friends who are “accidentally” knocked up, then I would suggest you pick your friends a little more carefully. As in people with working brains.


They are not my friends, never said they were. Acquaintances =/= friends. Not to me, anyway.


But if she chooses to **** and moan about her pregnant girl friends instead of going out and having fun, well …


I do have fun and an array of hobbies that have nothing to do with dating or men. My idea of a good time does not include getting railed by men I have no future with, and then wondering if I'm pregnant, diseased or if they'll ever contact me again (the latter seems to be the MO when it comes to casual sex....for women, anyway).

Even when there's no fear of pregnancy or an STI, I hear the same story from women over and over again...."we had sex and barely knew eachother, now he's ignoring me, he only contacts me when he wants some, was I just a pump & dump?....blah blah blah." Sounds like too much headache, just for some d*ck. Again, it's nothing to be jealous of. I'm glad I don't have that kind of stress in my life. It doesn't sound like "fun" at all.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 115
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/17/2018 9:36:50 AM

Even when there's no fear of pregnancy or an STI, I hear the same story from women over and over again...."we had sex and barely knew eachother, now he's ignoring me, he only contacts me when he wants some, was I just a pump & dump?....blah blah blah." Sounds like too much headache, just for some d*ck. Again, it's nothing to be jealous of. I'm glad I don't have that kind of stress in my life. It doesn't sound like "fun" at all.


Many of these women probably agreed to casual sex or a FWB relationship. Secretly hoping it will lead to something more serious. The problem isn't necessarily having casual sex. It's often people not being honest with their intentions. That can apply to any type of dating situation or relationship.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 1:45:48 AM
Personally I find casual sex lame as. I don't see what's good about it. Sleeping with some dude you don't even know, can't even get you off or please you and it's just awkward and boring and you feel dirty after. Like why did I do this again. Gay porn is literally more satisfying in every way lmao. Like I would risk pregnancy or diseases to have unsatisfactory boring sex with some lamo. Might as well get paid, even then it's not worth it. Even sex on the 1st, second, third, 4th date etc IS casual sex basically IMO.


For those that either want something significant, do you still have casual sex?

No and I don't sleep with guys I'm dating either. So when we stop dating I don't give a crap.


Some would eventually decide saying "no" was as empowering as saying "yes".

It's more empowering saying no. Saying yes is basically weak in comparison.

I don't date guys that have slept with more than a few people. It's a red flag, a sign they're a player or can't or don't want a relationship or to commit or are emotionally unavailable or fussy.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 6:34:27 AM
^^^^^^
So basically the opposite of what you say in other threads.

Doesn't being so fake get exhausting? Or maybe it doesn't since you don't even bother to attempt to keep the same story.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 6:43:08 AM
^^^^

Was it to difficult for you to provide quotes with links to back your claims?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 119
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 7:43:43 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ One click on "History"...............gives one insight.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 120
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 7:51:08 AM
^^^^

Why should I have to do a search? If a person is going to make such claims one should provide proof. Would you appreciate me making claims about you? If so I'd be happy too.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 121
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 7:53:36 AM

Personally I find casual sex lame as. I don't see what's good about it. Sleeping with some dude you don't even know, can't even get you off or please you and it's just awkward and boring and you feel dirty after. Like why did I do this again. Gay porn is literally more satisfying in every way lmao. Like I would risk pregnancy or diseases to have unsatisfactory boring sex with some lamo. Might as well get paid, even then it's not worth it. Even sex on the 1st, second, third, 4th date etc IS casual sex basically IMO.


I swear, if I didn't know better, I would say NewYorker58 is your mother.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 122
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 8:10:27 AM

Personally I find casual sex lame as. I don't see what's good about it. Sleeping with some dude you don't even know, can't even get you off or please you and it's just awkward and boring and you feel dirty after. Like why did I do this again. Gay porn is literally more satisfying in every way lmao. Like I would risk pregnancy or diseases to have unsatisfactory boring sex with some lamo. Might as well get paid, even then it's not worth it.


Casual sex isn't necessarily just sex with a random stranger. It can be also with someone you know that you're not a committed relationship with. FYI some of my best sexual experiences were with women that I had casual/FWB relationships with.


Even sex on the 1st, second, third, 4th date etc IS casual sex basically IMO.


How long should people wait until it is no longer "casual sex"? 5 dates? 10 dates? If you wait that long, then the other person might think you have lukewarm interest and could move on.


I don't date guys that have slept with more than a few people. It's a red flag, a sign they're a player or can't or don't want a relationship or to commit or are emotionally unavailable or fussy.


How would you know many people a man has sex in the past? He may not be honest with his sexual history. Even if he has slept with a more than a "few" women, these things are broad assumptions.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 10:41:38 AM

_Rise_Above_This
Would you appreciate me making claims about you? If so I'd be happy too.

You appear to be looking for a fight. If so, I advise you to seek out Arlo, as he seems to actually enjoy flamefests here in the forums.

Picking on Spot4username and Ladyinred0407 are going to get you nowhere, as they are both well known and respected around here.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 10:47:08 AM
^^^^

If I was looking for a fight I would have been far less polite. Just stated the obvious.



In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 125
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 3:23:09 PM
I've heard sales people and deal makers brag about deals they've pulled (in), but of course, put almost anything with "male sex organ", and its time to mimic Beavis and Butthead. As for some women playing "town doorknob", are they really looking for sex, or are they looking to buy love (or attention) with sex? I've known some women who enjoyed a casual sex affair, but they weren't out having a ton of them. They noticed one guy who turned them on physically, but didn't turn them on mentally or there was some other bone to pick, but they decided to just not to "make love". Usually they just "Got drunk and something happened". as for the stress being fun...some just love that rollercoaster of drama.

"I can think of a few good reasons, it's a very good idea to keep one's mouth shut."

>>>literally and figuratively. When we're kids, we want attention. Even bad attention might get someone thinking about us, and at that age, it beats being ignored. Like when people talk about what we did drunk last night--its embarrassing, but we're the highlight for that moment. As we get older, of course, we want to be bothered less in life.

repeated casual sex, is like any other pattern--its there for a reason, to reach a goal.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Casual sex and dating...