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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 226
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?Page 10 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Nowhere in my life did I get hit on or guys try to pick me up than when I lived in Winnipeg back in the day and rode public transit all the same. The sketchiest guys too.

Most men in their 30s in committed relationships aren't married. I'm in a pretty middleclass town and my daughter's Grade 3 parent contact list, for example listed all the parents and their numbers and about two-thirds of the parents who were together had different last names than their spouse which is an indication they weren't married. And while our town is small, its still big enough where you only know half the people in it. I know most of the moms of my kids' peers but not their dads and asking a guy if he's single is tantamout to trying to pick him up and you don't want to end up known as a manstealer. There was one guy I really crushed on for a while here that I would see a lot at the kids' park with his 2 kids and it was only 5 months later that I learned he was common law--with my daughter's teacher!

Finding both friends and boyfriends can be daunting. Used to be so much easier in my school days. Now having kids, a person isn't free to go out all the time without them. I was excited when I ran into a girl I knew back in high school. We were both out with our kids and she invited me to her bbq. I was so excited for the chance to meet people but when I showed up with my kids I learned it was a kidfree night. But because my kids and hers were with when she invited me I was of the inpression it was a family thing. It was super awkward because then I just had to go home.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 227
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 12:56:22 PM

One of the guys is the co-worker I've talked about ..... Dude is 33, has no car, lives 20+ miles away and has asked me a few times to hang out with him. That means I would have to drive up to his city, which I happen to hate

Trash guy was a person I met on the light-rail leaving Seattle. He told me he was a 23-year-old virgin and he just left Seattle to pay for a hooker.

Blotto guy was staggering, slurring & walking sideways drunk at a bar alone on a Sunday night at 8pm. The bartender even told him he was cut off.

Okay, here's the thing. Every gal, over a certain time frame, is going to get a guy flirting/approaching them who fit either a non-fitting description (guy at work), or WTF (like the other two). Your problem isn't running into that.

I'd certainly bet, since you say "I'm not interested in dating anyway," is the vibe you put out there. Being approached is going to be Less, and of those who do, it's going to be guys going out on a limb. Like a 23 year old virgin trying to beat the virginity out of himself, or a wasted guy at the bar on a Sunday evening.

You certainly can't play the "I'm less attractive" card. It's unfortunately more common than it should be, where a gal doesn't know that it's her attitude/POV about people/men/dating that is & should turn decent catches from getting into the mix. Just saying. BUT, as you say, you're not looking or caring about men & dating, so, yeah, it makes sense you're putting out that vibe pretty clear, and you'll only get the occasional outlier macking on ya. :)

No wedding band, grocery shopping, most likely they're single.

But at the grocery store, if I do recall, don't droves of men chase you out of the place trying to hump your leg like a horny dog? :)

"Hey buddy! Chasing me around humping my leg -- I can tolerate that. But a wedding band to boot?! Get in the back of the line, buster!"
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 228
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 7:08:37 AM

bowneyesboo
I think most women get hit on at some time.

A very obvious truth. Exceptions for nuns I would think.

bowneyesboo
But like Ms Siisaa says, not all attention is good attention.

Another very obvious truth, I couldn’t agree more.

bowneyesboo
Nothing wrong with trying to figure out why we seem to
attract those we're not attracted to.

Nothing wrong with it, but it is a waste of time. You’re a woman, he thinks you’re attractive, Bingo! All you can do is just politely but firmly turn him down if he is indeed not your type. And if he’s persistent, then get impolite.

browneyesboo
I also think it's interesting if there is a male and female employee at the customer service, a male customer will just about always look to the female for help and female customers will mostly gravitate towards the male.

I’ve never been in a position to observe that. For myself, it’s more related to what form of assistance I’m seeking. When it comes to health care, I prefer a woman, as I do believe that women are better care givers. But when I go in the auto parts store, and there are men and women behind the counter, I’m going to seek assistance from the man. Yes, I realize that is stereotyping, but a lifetime of experience tells me that I will be right more often than wrong. And if the only available salesperson happens to be a woman, I have no hesitation in asking her for help.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 229
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 7:19:28 AM

norwegianguy456
{ responding to something siisaa said }
You certainly can't play the "I'm less attractive" card.

Well, no, that she most definitely can’t do. I would think that she would have men following her down the street. Hell, if I were 30 years younger, I would be following her down the street!

norwegianguy456
It's unfortunately more common than it should be, where a gal doesn't know that it's her attitude/POV about people/men/dating that is & should turn decent catches from getting into the mix. Just saying. BUT, as you say, you're not looking or caring about men & dating, so, yeah, it makes sense you're putting out that vibe pretty clear, and you'll only get the occasional outlier macking on ya. :)

We have heard that theory before, more than once. But I tend to disagree. While it is true that many women run around looking like they really don’t want to engage with anyone about anything, I believe that only discourages the shy men. The kind of men who almost never approach women in the first place. The kind of guy where a woman has to go way out of her way to smile at him, to initiate the conversation herself.

Most men are going to hit on a woman he finds attractive, no matter the facial expression. Exception for any woman clutching a can of pepper spray in her clenched fist!
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 230
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 2:11:34 PM

norwegianguy456

It's unfortunately more common than it should be, where a gal doesn't know that it's her attitude/POV about people/men/dating that is & should turn decent catches from getting into the mix. Just saying. BUT, as you say, you're not looking or caring about men & dating, so, yeah, it makes sense you're putting out that vibe pretty clear, and you'll only get the occasional outlier macking on ya. :)



ohenryx

While it is true that many women run around looking like they really don’t want to engage with anyone about anything, I believe that only discourages the shy men. The kind of men who almost never approach women in the first place. The kind of guy where a woman has to go way out of her way to smile at him, to initiate the conversation herself.

Most men are going to hit on a woman he finds attractive, no matter the facial expression.


So you're (NG456) saying that a girl can give off a "stay away" vibe just from going about her daily business, and guys can pick up on this? Even if the girl is interested in dating? I'm just curious, because I'm wondering if I fall into this category. Guys don't hit on me in public places (I'll admit I'm shy). However, I have had several instances over the years of random men making a quick comment telling me to smile. I'll automatically smile, but that's as far as their engagement will go, so I don't think they're hitting on me.

Ohenryx, I sure hope you're right, otherwise I'm doomed!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 231
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 3:05:49 PM
I know this has been my problem. My friends even pointed it out to me back in the day when I was lamenting it. With guys I like, I do not act like myself, I'm reserved and serious and its because I'm shy and nervous. So I give off a stay away vibe I guess. And then with guys I don't like or have no romantic interest in, I am myself and smile and joke around, etc. So that's why numerous guys I had no interest in always hit on me or asked me out. Now that online dating is my only real option of meeting someone, I need to work on my confidence level and being my natural self around a guy I like. It takes me a while to get comfortable with anyone but once I get out of that guard I have up I shine through.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 232
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 5:01:59 PM

But I tend to disagree. While it is true that many women run around looking like they really don’t want to engage with anyone about anything, I believe that only discourages the shy men.

I disagree. Although it may not have not much effect on many drunk/obnoxious guys out there, it's not just wallflower guys it affects (who would still not approach anyway).

At the risk of sounding hasty from where your POV stems from... I go out of my way to Not equate "there'll always be [x]" with "it'll always be the same".

Otherwise, if she was Wanting decent guys approaching her (which none do; at least of any remote thought of interest on her part), you nor I could give her advice on how to optimize her "luck", right? "It's always going to be the same!"

And I think MOST guys have some level of "wallflower" in them. Hence drinking at most venues where you mingle. I'm a pretty outgoing guy, sometimes too much so, but I will heed saying something to a gal or approaching her zone to order a drink, etc -- and instead choose options B, C, or D -- due to her body language & the vibe she's giving off. I can only imagine it's Stronger with guys who aren't as outgoing as I but aren't wallflowers. Said gal where it's not a bad decision to pass over... well, the more "different" guys are going to take a higher % of approaches on her. And it's usually not a good kind of "different", as she pointed out. :)

So you're (NG456) saying that a girl can give off a "stay away" vibe just from going about her daily business, and guys can pick up on this?

It's open body language. Yes, we pick up on it naturally, to some extent. But obviously there's going to be guys unaware to it, etc., as some girls aren't aware they're giving it off, either.

Even if the girl is interested in dating? I'm just curious, because I'm wondering if I fall into this category. Guys don't hit on me in public places (I'll admit I'm shy). However, I have had several instances over the years of random men making a quick comment telling me to smile. I'll automatically smile, but that's as far as their engagement will go, so I don't think they're hitting on me.

Yes, even if she has (sexual) interest in him -- but that depends on the girl. If you're shy, and your example reflects how you roll -- yeah, hot-nerd, you need to open up your body language! Sure, it opens up guys you Don't find attractive, but with some practice you can go into shy-mode when there's no attractive guys in your circle, then open up with your eyes & body language when there are some. And yes, Smile Dammit! :)

With guys I like, I do not act like myself, I'm reserved and serious and its because I'm shy and nervous. So I give off a stay away vibe I guess. And then with guys I don't like or have no romantic interest in, I am myself and smile and joke around, etc.

Yep. YMMV with various gals, but yes, good example.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 233
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/25/2018 7:13:46 PM

norwegianguy456

I'm a pretty outgoing guy, sometimes too much so, but I will heed saying something to a gal or approaching her zone to order a drink, etc -- and instead choose options B, C, or D -- due to her body language & the vibe she's giving off.

If you're shy, and your example reflects how you roll -- yeah, hot-nerd, you need to open up your body language! Sure, it opens up guys you Don't find attractive, but with some practice you can go into shy-mode when there's no attractive guys in your circle, then open up with your eyes & body language when there are some. And yes, Smile Dammit! :)


Sh!t! I did some researching and yeah, I have some practicing to do. Maybe I should just walk around like I'm teaching...

:) Yes sir! :-p
 newfriendopening8318
Joined: 8/16/2018
Msg: 234
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/26/2018 3:16:13 AM

When I was in high school and university I was always around single guys. Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm never around single guys. My work (healthcare) is 98% female and I work with the elderly in their homes. I attend parttime classes which are also 98% female. And I spend a lot of time going to kids events and stuff and never see single dads or anything. I also play coed soccer but every single guy in my age range there is married. At church, the only guys who attend who are in my age range are all married (single guys in their 30s do not attend church). Any other guy I meet in the community I have no idea if he's single or not so I don't try to flirt (I live in a less populated area so flirting with someone who may not be single can have big repercussions). So meeting someone IRL is just not realistic for me I think. Hence online dating.

I am just wondering, when was the last time someone on here met someone IRL? How did it happen? How did you know they were single?


I understand your frustration. My occupation has me working 6 10-hour shifts weekly (4 standard shifts and 2 overtime shifts). I meet women and the same issue occurs. Are they single?

There is a resolution. It's called "ask a question' and it has been around as long as that other elusive idea called "use a f***ing turn signal".

I simply say, "I think you look great. Could you tell me if you're available so I can drool over you like an idiot often?" or something similar to that.

I get a "yes" or "no" response every f***ing time!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 235
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/26/2018 9:00:13 AM
NG, no, men are not following me around in droves, but this one store obviously has a lot of older single men in it, and I do get hit on more often there. I don't even go at high traffic times.

Cutenerd, approachable can be not rushing around, which gives the person an opportunity to chat you up, and having a happy pleasant expression on your face, similar to how you look in your profile pic☺
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 236
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/26/2018 9:43:37 AM

ohenryx
While it is true that many women run around looking like they really don’t want to engage with anyone about anything, I believe that only discourages the shy men.


norwegianguy456
I disagree. Although it may not have not much effect on many drunk/obnoxious guys out there, it's not just wallflower guys it affects (who would still not approach anyway).



And I think MOST guys have some level of "wallflower" in them. Hence drinking at most venues where you mingle.

Sounds like we’re going to have to agree to disagree then. At least partially. I will agree that MOST guys have some level of wallflower. And yes, a couple of drinks definitely helps with that.

But … I realized, when I was still in my 20’s (which was a very long time ago), that if I didn’t approach that gorgeous woman just because she was frowning or looking distracted, then some other man would. And pretty soon he would be talking with her, laughing with her, dancing with her, and I would be going home alone. Again. Kicking myself for not having had the courage to break the ice despite her frown or negative body language.

Is this going to work every time? Absolutely not, you will go down in flames the majority of the time. Are your odds better if you hit on the woman who is smiling? Yes. But what if there are no attractive women who are smiling? Should you just sit there like a bump on a log and watch someone else gain her attention?

I say no. I say go for it. It is all a numbers game, always has been, since way before there was an “online”, never mind “online dating”.


cutenerd1866
Guys don't hit on me in public places (I'll admit I'm shy). However, I have had several instances over the years of random men making a quick comment telling me to smile. I'll automatically smile, but that's as far as their engagement will go, so I don't think they're hitting on me.

Now this is how it’s done. She’s beautiful, she’s standing there waiting for the elevator with a frown on her face. Turn towards her and say, “Smile!” But don’t stop there. When she does smile, and the odds are very high that she will, follow up with something stupid and inane to keep the conversation going. For instance, “There! Now isn’t that better?”

If she really doesn’t want to talk, she will turn away from you. But if she turns towards you, keeps smiling, and makes any kind of reply, well then …
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/26/2018 12:38:45 PM

no, men are not following me around in droves,

Well I'm one of those who's been following you around. I've been doing it since I joined in the hope of getting a peek behind that sign.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 238
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/26/2018 7:31:55 PM
I don't have any butt pics, nothing shows my posterior🙈
 risingAlpha
Joined: 7/15/2018
Msg: 239
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/28/2018 1:59:13 PM
meeting someone in real life is very hard... I get rejected enough on the internet.. why would I want to feel that in my face?
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 240
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/28/2018 3:40:17 PM
The last couple of guys I really liked I met in the real world. One in a club the other at work. I find that the men who I meet in the real world are more to my liking than men who contact me online.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 241
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/7/2018 10:32:41 AM

Sh!t! I did some researching and yeah, I have some practicing to do. Maybe I should just walk around like I'm teaching...

Yes -- guys do like the teacher/student role-playing scenario. You certainly won't be shorted out on guys playing along.
I recommend carrying a ruler around to show them who's boss! ;)

NG, no, men are not following me around in droves, but this one store obviously has a lot of older single men in it, and I do get hit on more often there. I don't even go at high traffic times.

Sounds like in-droves at that one store. Especially how you described it before!

I don't have any butt pics, nothing shows my posterior

THAT's why guys are following you around at that store. You're not showing it online! Put up some butt pics, and you'll have your problem at the store solved.

I will agree that MOST guys have some level of wallflower. And yes, a couple of drinks definitely helps with that.

I think drinking's a big motivator to not be a wallflower, or better put when speaking about most guys, just more on the passive side in approaching. That's why they call it "liquid courage".

But … I realized, when I was still in my 20’s (which was a very long time ago), that if I didn’t approach that gorgeous woman just because she was frowning or looking distracted, then some other man would.

What I've noticed, being in both active & observant situations umpteen times, is that the gal who puts out the "don't bother" vibes will shoot down most guys who Do approach her. One's batting average is going to be damn damn low. Combine that with her being gorgeous, when the guy is not -- you're basically asking a college pitcher to step up to the plate to Bat against a good MLB pitcher. It is a numbers game, but, pick your battles, I say. That said, though...

And pretty soon he would be talking with her, laughing with her, dancing with her, and I would be going home alone. Again. Kicking myself for not having had the courage to break the ice despite her frown or negative body language.

I know what you mean, tho. It's those that stick out. IMO, it makes it feel like it's almost every time, as we remember those, not the times she was pshawing a guy or being seemingly polite and then runs off with her gal pal out of the bar.

And I agree it's a numbers game. But no matter who you are, strikeouts take it's toll to some degree. That's why I tell guys who aren't "on" their game -- don't do that. Work your way up, get some successes, feel having a success, then start facing tough pitchers.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 242
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/7/2018 12:06:57 PM
I know you say to do that as a guy, work your way up to a better pitcher but I think it can apply for women too. I started off on here by aiming lower than what I wanted and I discovered I easily get a guy that way. But as soon as I try for someone I really like its so much tougher because those guys have other girls interested. You have to make yourself stand out somehow. And its a confidence issue. Going back to the baseball metaphor, when you're at home plate with the bat waiting for the pitch from a good pitcher, you might strike out because you are too tense or stressed about hitting the ball. Next time you are up to the plate you are either going to be more ready or less confident. You have to be able to perform better. Too bad dating doesn't have video replay.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/7/2018 5:43:28 PM

Cutenerd, approachable can be not rushing around, which gives the person an opportunity to chat you up, and having a happy pleasant expression on your face, similar to how you look in your profile pic☺


Good point, I'm guilty of that as well at times. Been doing better with slowing down and trying to be more approachable. It might also help if I went to places that had more quality available guys to see if it was working.


Yes -- guys do like the teacher/student role-playing scenario. You certainly won't be shorted out on guys playing along.
I recommend carrying a ruler around to show them who's boss! ;)


Carrying around a ruler would work great for self-defense as well, but I prefer a rock hammer for that. As for role-playing, that's like someone who is a doctor for a living doing the doctor/patient role-playing scenario with their significant other. So....no.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 244
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/7/2018 6:59:45 PM

Maybe if he'd been 10 years younger I would have said yes. But I did not.


Dang, I just missed the cut.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 7/23/2017
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 10:25:10 AM

Turn towards her and say, “Smile!”

Ohh that's about guaranteed to piss me off. Where do complete strangers get the idea they can/should tell me how to feel?

Like most people, my resting face is not a smile and if you're seeing my resting face then it generally means I'm thinking of something at the moment that isn't about attracting a man, or attracting any conversation from a stranger. If I did want to invite conversation, then I would already be smiling.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:10:43 PM

I know you say to do that as a guy, work your way up to a better pitcher but I think it can apply for women too.

Yes, of course. But for women, it's a different landscape. MUCH easier to get action on the field to someone better looking than oneself, if one's a woman. I think for the gals, it's a game of checkers, not chess when it comes to getting #s, physical action, etc. The problem differs for them that I have noticed: Gals who are socially outgoing, but who aren't one of the notably real cute ones at the bar/online-site/etc, can end up getting the wrong idea of what guys are in their league, because they (unlike guys) can somewhat easily get "action" from someone out of their league -- which gives them the wrong impression on what type of guy they "deserve".

Hence, you see gals all the time complain about all men are jerks, and average-Joe guys (like on forums) say "Whoah! No, we're not!" While everyone's going to have some negative experiences with average Joes or Janes, it's going to happen a Lot more with someone objectively better looking than they. Guys are "lucky" that they don't run into that very often, but I think I speak for a majority of guys when I say I'd rather have that problem than the uphill battle guys have to deal with in the dating scene of approaching & getting shot down (passively or actively).

Going back to the baseball metaphor, when you're at home plate with the bat waiting for the pitch from a good pitcher, you might strike out because you are too tense or stressed about hitting the ball. Next time you are up to the plate you are either going to be more ready or less confident.

Yes, true. That's why it's harder for guys. Imagine if you went to an alternate universe where the girls had to approach guys, the guys were picky and more emotional, and would rarely be in the position to approach girls, and instead wait for girls to approach them, where most of the time they'd get shot down in some way. Yikes, right? :)

Carrying around a ruler would work great for self-defense as well, but I prefer a rock hammer for that.

Well, I wasn't saying it's for some cure-all of self-defense, but more of a "I'm in charge, buster (wink)."

As for role-playing, that's like someone who is a doctor for a living doing the doctor/patient role-playing scenario with their significant other. So....no.

Oh, so you're a teacher IRL? Okay. Well, easy solution. You just play the naughty librarian role with said yard stick, picking up dudes. You're not a librarian, right? :)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:20:23 PM

norwegianguy456


And pretty soon he would be talking with her, laughing with her, dancing with her, and I would be going home alone. Again. Kicking myself for not having had the courage to break the ice despite her frown or negative body language.

I know what you mean, tho. It's those that stick out. IMO, it makes it feel like it's almost every time, as we remember those, not the times she was pshawing a guy or being seemingly polite and then runs off with her gal pal out of the bar.

You are, of course, completely correct. We remember the times when we really should have stepped up, and we forget the times when we were better off keeping our mouths shut.


norwegianguy456
And I agree it's a numbers game. But no matter who you are, strikeouts take it's toll to some degree. That's why I tell guys who aren't "on" their game -- don't do that. Work your way up, get some successes, feel having a success, then start facing tough pitchers.

Once again, I agree completely. When I am really on my game, I can stand a few hits to the ego, a few strikeouts, and keep right on swinging at the ball. After a while, though, it does wear you down, and then taking a break is a good idea.


julystorm22
Too bad dating doesn't have video replay.

Ah, but it does! That’s what your wingman is there for! To point out to you what you did wrong, how to better approach the situation the next time. And of course, when you get shut down completely, to tell you, “Never mind, she wasn’t that good looking anyway. Now you see that brunette over there, the one in the short skirt? Now she’s hot! Go for it!”


CynthiaSM


Turn towards her and say, “Smile!”

Ohh that's about guaranteed to piss me off. Where do complete strangers get the idea they can/should tell me how to feel?

Woah, that’s cold! Shivering type cold. (Nothing personal intended, we’ve known each other here in the forums a long time.)

But that does go to show, your odds are bad if you approach the non-smiling woman, exactly as I said originally, and NG456 emphasized. And you should never try it if your ego isn’t up for some bruises.

 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:27:54 PM

Well, I wasn't saying it's for some cure-all of self-defense, but more of a "I'm in charge, buster (wink)."


Oh I got what you were saying. ;) I was just noting the multiple uses of said ruler. A rock hammer is a former tool of my trade.


Oh, so you're a teacher IRL? Okay. Well, easy solution. You just play the naughty librarian role with said yard stick, picking up dudes. You're not a librarian, right? :)


Yes, I am. Lol, that solution would totally work since I'm not a librarian. I even wear glasses if that floats their boat. Wait, now it's a yard stick?!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:35:43 PM

I know this has been my problem. My friends even pointed it out to me back in the day when I was lamenting it. With guys I like, I do not act like myself, I'm reserved and serious and its because I'm shy and nervous. So I give off a stay away vibe I guess. And then with guys I don't like or have no romantic interest in, I am myself and smile and joke around, etc. So that's why numerous guys I had no interest in always hit on me or asked me out. Now that online dating is my only real option of meeting someone, I need to work on my confidence level and being my natural self around a guy I like. It takes me a while to get comfortable with anyone but once I get out of that guard I have up I shine through.


Do you want more kids? It says on your profile you're undecided about having more. That might scare some men off because some men may be cautious but willing to date single mothers like I was, but the thought of having their own babies in the late thirties is too much. I think figuring that out, either yes or no would be helpful in attracting the right person.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 9/9/2018 3:02:45 PM

We remember the times when we really should have stepped up, and we forget the times when we were better off keeping our mouths shut.

Yep. Although it's OK to try and strike conversation with a gal where your chances are super low, as long as it Doesn't hurt your ego (like when you have a GF anyway and weren't going to make any real moves on her). But yes, better off keeping one's mouth shut if a strikeout is in the making and you're not high on your game.

Ohh that's about guaranteed to piss me off. Where do complete strangers get the idea they can/should tell me how to feel?

They're not giving orders when they say "Smile!" when you're in a public place with a frown. They're trying to be cheerful and passing it on. They'd have to go out of their way to say it in a crude way for it to be crude.

Oh I got what you were saying. ;) I was just noting the multiple uses of said ruler. A rock hammer is a former tool of my trade.

So you were working in a factory with a rock hammer, then one day said "This is not what robot cute nerds do. I need to teach! I certainly can't begin to take over the world doing This..."? :)

Yes, I am. Lol, that solution would totally work since I'm not a librarian. I even wear glasses if that floats their boat.

Of course. I think that's a requirement for the hot librarian thing. Dark rimmed glasses, tight black dress, hair in a bun, etc. You know the routine (Googling hot librarian will lay it all out!)...

Wait, now it's a yard stick?!

Gives you greater reach, and more flexibility, too. And of course, helps getting those books way up on the higher shelves...

Do you want more kids? It says on your profile you're undecided about having more. That might scare some men off because some men may be cautious but willing to date single mothers like I was, but the thought of having their own babies in the late thirties is too much.

If a gal's in her mid-30s and already has kids and is Undecided on wanting more -- by default, and I don't think I'm alone on this, is the assumption that she's just not ruling it out as a Potential possibility, if need be. Like, say she meets a guy right now who has no kids, they spark, a year later she accepts a proposal, and he's wanted a kid of his own -- she may give him the thumbs up on not pulling out around the time of the wedding.

I think usually when a gal is in mid or later 30s, Undecided doesn't mean she's looking forward to it at all.
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