Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 151
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?Page 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Sure you can look, but he should be able to as well.

I can do that. I not so stubborn that I don't listen to good advice, nor do I believe I know everything. Therefore, I already told my boyfriend that I don't want a long-term relationship and, if he wants a serious long-term relationship, he should consider looking for a girl that wants a long-term relationship.

Nevertheless, at least according to the following, girls looking to upgrade is the norm; not the exception:

Classic Scenario: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2012/08/12/i-have-a-boyfriendand-how-to-not-get-dumpedfor-men/
• Jen meets Steve, a guy who is stylish, Alpha, good in bed, active, has great qualities, everything she can want in a man.
• A year later in the LTR, Steve becomes lazy, starts couch potatoing, neglects his style, doesn’t see a need to further dominate her in bed, etc…
• Jen gets hit on by Nate (online or in person). Nate is an Alpha male (as Steve once was), he knows what’s up, he presents her with values (which Steve, the current BF once had).
• Jen is torn between Nate & Steve (Steve’s the current BF who was all she wanted, but has slipped since).
• Her decision-making process becomes easier: she can stay with Steve the lazy slob who doesn’t dominate her in bed, nor make her laugh anymore.
• Or she can dump Steve for Nate the Alpha, who has all the qualities Steve once had a year ago.
• Now, WWJD (what will Jen do)?
• She will cheat on Steve with Nate, then gradually dump him for Nate [essentially upgrade from zero to hero].

Now, what Jen did isn’t a rare exception. It’s actually the f***ing norm!!

A girl will almost always upgrade to a better guy (whom she deems is better).
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 152
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/25/2018 9:19:50 PM
^^^ Women will ignore the nice guy who has good qualities to offer - it’s the bad boy image that they’re attracted to. Every cOcky ***hole that I’ve ever known has had multiple women, but they are’nt alphas in other ways.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 153
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/25/2018 9:39:41 PM

Women will ignore the nice guy who has good qualities to offer - it’s the bad boy image that they’re attracted to

Women ignore nice guys because they don't want them anyway, and a girl will tell herself that the bad boy will be different with me.

Girls and women are easy for bad boys, because bad boys are smart, athletic, likely rich, and very good looking. Because, for them, girls are so easy, they don't value them. So they find them, f*** them, and move on to the next pretty toy and that takes very little time and money.

Nice guys are average looking guy that must spend a lot of time and money to get a girl and they must treat her good or they got no chance. Therefore, when they finally fine a girl, they value her. She is precious.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 154
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/25/2018 10:52:59 PM
^^^^what a load of crap. If you really are a young person, you will learn with age that everything you said was erroneous.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 155
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 12:38:32 AM
I agree ^^^^
a certain type of woman continually goes for bad boys/men and it’s certainly not a ‘common’ trend.
Young or old.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 156
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 12:52:05 AM
Kelley, does your daddy know you date bad boys?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 157
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 1:01:16 AM

I can do that. I not so stubborn that I don't listen to good advice, nor do I believe I know everything. Therefore, I already told my boyfriend that I don't want a long-term relationship and, if he wants a serious long-term relationship, he should consider looking for a girl that wants a long-term relationship.

You didn't tell him you're on POF looking for dudes, and your status is SINGLE, right? :) Did you tell him you're looking for other dudes online?
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 158
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 8:35:52 AM
Kissfromarose77, I only date good looking guys and that included Big Man on campus that sweet talked me for a few weeks and then dumped me the next pretty girl, after which I called him every name in the book as if anything I said got back to him or if he even cared if it did. But not all good looking guys are bad boys. A few are nice although perhaps not as nice as average looking guys.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 159
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 2:16:44 PM
Thank God, I'm NOT 19 again! (In 2018)

Senior year in High School, I was 18, same boyfriend, all year. Super great guy, drove a 1967 Ford Mustang.
Following graduation I moved away. Dating just happened. No rules. Work, college, night clubs. Bell bottoms and halter tops, and platform shoes. YAY!
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 160
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 2:30:33 PM
huh, a young broad who is versed in pickup artistry....that explains a lot. someone wanted to know why:

"I ..dated...a BMOC who sweet talked me for a few weeks and then dumped me for the next pretty girl, after which I called him every name in the book--as if anything I said got back to him or if he even cared if it did."

most humans are not interested enough in dating to have done the research necessary online to find the PUA world. Those people just date, period, stumbling around thinking they'll finally find nirvana. Just like all humans eat, but only a few get a cookbook and learn how to cook gourmet meals. The majority just do frozen foods, restaurants, and cook simple meals to get the food they crave. Even when Coma and the rest brought up PUA, posters dismissed it as not real. But those who date to win, paid attention to Cliff's List and the like.

Girls dig bad boys, b/c bad boys are driven by similar emotions. when the girls stop winning the game, they grow up and scientifically proven, find the nice guy (google nice guys finish last) to make babies with. When we grow up, our needs change, so our attitudes have to as well. But bad boys are not automatically smart, nor athletic, nor rich. you can be a bad boy from the wrong side of the railroad tracks. But for sure, you have to be good looking. If you aren't good looking but still connect, you'll always be a friend. A woman can build a bond and create platonic intimacy with a male friend. In fact, he will make a bad boy more palatable--she can use the bad boy for sex and the friend for hanging out and shopping and trips to the beach like a bf.

1967 Mustang...every time you step on the drum brakes hard, the passenger seatback swings forward b/c nothing locks it into place. I hope it had the exterior décor group, with the turnsignals in the reverse hood scoops, it was neat when they reflect in the paint while driving at dusk...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 161
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 5:00:24 PM
I always wanted a nice guy, when I was younger, and now. Biggest turnoff to me is someone that fancies themselves to be a bad boy. Women sound happy and will say how nice their boyfriends are. I never hear a woman say, "I'm going out with this @hole, and he's really great!"☺
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 162
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 9:44:02 PM
Women generally go for alpha males because they can’t imagine a man who isn’t desired by other women as being attractive ... and they would rather have a man who can be a bit abrasive at times than a shy, passive guy.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 7/23/2017
Msg: 163
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 10:24:29 PM
^^amazing how many errors you make in one, albeit run-on, sentence. Well done!
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 164
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/26/2018 11:23:26 PM
Sigh....talking to a wall is not fun but here goes...

Kissfromarose, every sentence that you post reveals more about why you are having the trouble you are. You come across as angry and you seem to be the type to blame women for not liking you. The truth of the matter is that you likely don't listen to the clues put in front of you. Someone said earlier you are on the spectrum and that wouldn't surprise me if you are because I think you have trouble reading women.

Women don't like bad boys, not really. Looks are what attracts and the potential for passion. Most woman do like nice guys BUT they don't like pushovers or know-it-alls or clinginess or low self-confidence or a lack of happiness.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 165
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 12:14:05 AM
July, it's hard to say if the spectrum is propelling misogyny or he's just a misogynist. For some, being on the spectrum can be very debilitating.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 166
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 3:00:38 AM

Women don't like bad boys, not really. Looks are what attracts and the potential for passion. Most woman do like nice guys BUT they don't like pushovers or know-it-alls or clinginess or low self-confidence or a lack of happiness.


How, pray tell, are you qualified to tell me this? Do you have any experience dating women? I was bullied in school because I had autism. I think that my ex liked that I was a pushover and had low self-confidence. It allowed her to take advantage of me. It’s true that particularly young women like bad boys. I never dated until I was 30 because I was too much of a nice guy and lacked confidence. It really bothered me to see girls with foul-mouthed ***holes who didn’t care about anything except getting high on pot.
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 5:26:33 AM

It allowed her to take advantage of me.

No one can take advantage of you without your permission. You are a victim of your OWN poor choices. I always see this pattern with whiny men , blaming women for their own lack of success in the dating world. Sorry dude, you and a few of the other chronic complainers around here need to take a long look in the mirror. Own up to your own shet for once and maybe ask yourself, "what am I doing wrong"?.

We all know that will never happen because there is NO way in hell you could ever be responsible for your own behaviour and the author of your own misfortune. So much easier to blame women and everything else.
 Braylen99
Joined: 4/19/2018
Msg: 168
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 6:12:24 AM
Its just sex Kiss

Why are you acting like you need to earn it?

They need to earn your committment

Dont ever forget that
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 169
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 6:42:39 AM
MachIMustangII: I believe you are mostly correct. Whether you call them bad boys or Alpha males, girls and women at all ages want the best. Alpha males f*** Beta girls, but they marry Alphas. However, many pretty Beta girls at age 20 don't know that. Therefore, they reject the nice Beta males that would marry them and chase after Alpha males (AKA bad boys). Then at age 30, after a number of going nowhere relationships, they finally realize they must accept a guy that will marry them and not chase after Alphas that will only f*** them.
 Braylen99
Joined: 4/19/2018
Msg: 170
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 7:10:36 AM
After 40, all men are alphas Kelley
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 171
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 7:54:56 AM
Classifying people as either only betas and alphas is problematic. People change as they get older and wiser. When we are talking dating and mating, there's way more than just two types. Technically there's 6 types: Alpha, Beta, Omega, Gamma, Delta and Sigma.

Alpha - leaders, need to be in charge of a group, difficulty with following or being alone
Beta - followers, difficulty being alone, need someone else to be in charge
Omega - neither lead nor follow, difficult with authority, will lead if necessary, will rebel against leader if necessary or go their own way and become a loner
Gamma - quiet leaders, will not blindly follow, will lead by example, rather than force, difficulty with being strict and disciplinary
Delta - leaders without a pack, they have leadership personalities but lack the charisma or status to be respected as a leader
Sigma - tend to rebel against leaders, they often become leaders but lack good leadership qualities, tend to rule by force and not respect

Bad boys can be Alphas, Omegas or Sigmas. Women are attracted to Alphas and Omegas. They may get with a Sigma if they lack self-esteem or if a Sigma offers something to them that they want.

Note, many of us are more than one of these at different times in our life and in certain social settings. We aren't just one thing. Where this personality model is useful though is when it comes to matching up personalities when dating. It's important to take a look at someone and figure out what type they are at that point and whether your type will fit with that.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 172
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 8:20:23 AM
^^What are the equivalent terms to describe women's traits?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 173
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 9:09:28 AM

No one can take advantage of you without your permission. You are a victim of your OWN poor choices. I always see this pattern with whiny men , blaming women for their own lack of success in the dating world. Sorry dude, you and a few of the other chronic complainers around here need to take a long look in the mirror. Own up to your own shet for once and maybe ask yourself, "what am I doing wrong"?.

We all know that will never happen because there is NO way in hell you could ever be responsible for your own behaviour and the author of your own misfortune. So much easier to blame women and everything else.


Somewhere, there’s no way in hell you could know everything about a person from a forum on a dating site. You don’t know exactly what I went through. I’m not doing anything wrong now - I’m progressing in my job and my confidence has grown as I’ve gotten older. I’m still single, but I enjoy my freedom - no nagging or bitching to listen to.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 174
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 9:46:08 AM
[Quote]What are the equivalent terms to describe women's traits?[\quote]

The same general traits apply although some personality types are more successful for women than men and vise versa. This typology is useful in analyzing group dynamics or couples dynamics. My point in outlining them is to clarify that there's more personality types than just alpha and beta. And it's important to recognize that what makes someone a certain way has a lot to so with age, charisma, height, strength, beauty and intelligence.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 175
view profile
History
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/27/2018 11:23:41 AM

Women generally go for alpha males because they can’t imagine a man who isn’t desired by other women as being attractive ... and they would rather have a man who can be a bit abrasive at times than a shy, passive guy.

Women do like alpha males, but alpha males aren't necessarily a-holes. Those trying to be alpha-male usually will be. And of the alpha-males who are a-holes -- the stereotypical type -- yes, they will choose them over the shy, passive guys who they don't know. Again, trends (not everyone).

I think that my ex liked that I was a pushover and had low self-confidence. It allowed her to take advantage of me.

I think that's your ex, but that's not women -- to the extent your ex was. However, I will say this: When you are a pushover with low self-esteem AND you do couple up with a gal who is the opposite of that... you are are highly likely to be with a gal who walks all over you, to one degree or another. Once you set the tone, once dating gets situated, that you are like that and she begins to do things like walking on you -- if later in the relationship, after you've defined yourself as a pushover wimp, you bite back... she's going to take that as an attack. You're Changing what she's used to, thus you're Changing what she has The Right to do. You're taking something Away From Her. She will Push Back. But you defined yourself that way. It doesn't make her correct. But it does make you lack sympathy from others.

It’s true that particularly young women like bad boys. I never dated until I was 30 because I was too much of a nice guy and lacked confidence.

Notably young gals like bad-boys, and IMO, when gals make a (not very correct) assumption that "bad boys" pick the highest draft picks on the female market -- she wants to be one.

IMO though, gals in general don't want the guy that bleeds "Bad Boy" -- but gals in general want the guy who's NOT the opposite. When gals get older & more grounded (whether it be 18, 28, or 48) -- they don't the defunct Bad Guy, or the pushover Mr Nice Guy... but the Good Guy.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?