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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?      Home login  
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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 201
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?Page 9 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
That you for the links, now I need to see if this old tablet will let me look at it.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 202
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 12:01:53 AM
Last October, a group of co-workers and I went to a bowling alley. There were a bunch of other people who used to work at my hospital in attendance too. In fact, half of the people there were folks I had never met but they were all nice. Long story short, one of the guys who used to work at my hospital asked me out. Turns out he was super drunk and later divulged to me that he had consumed 8 drinks before I met him but I would've never guessed, he seemed to hold his liquor well (he was also a bigger guy). We went on one date and never saw each other again. My female co-worker who had worked with him years ago told me she remembered him as shy, awkward and him asking me out sounded out of character. I think he was embarrassed by his liquid courage or maybe I said/did something that put him off, and that's why our date was a one and done.

Since then, I've been asked out by a few men IRL but I was completely uninterested so I declined. They were either loser-types, trash, blotto drunk or too old (60+) so I need to do some serious self-reflecting as to why I attract such low-quality men (except the old guy).
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 203
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 8:07:21 AM
Been a while since I've dated someone from real life. Am continuing to start conversations with women in real life and they respond positively, but it's become quite a few months since things have led to a date. Recently encountered one who I didn't pursue because she had a ring. The same day encountered one without a ring, but eventually the conversation ended when she said "have a good day". The last time any phone number exchange occurred, I gave her mine but not vice versa and she didn't call (we did run into each other a few hours later at the grocery store: she smiled and waved). Despite the recent "slump", I've done OK over the years considering the women are sober.

It's easier to know someone is not single. Not difficult to sneak into conversation your SO if you're not single (or can say you have a SO as an attempt to get someone to back off). For me, I'll back off at the slightest hint of an SO, for example if she says "we", I take that as "my SO and I" (or the "we" might mean "my kids and I").


I consider a lone wolf the alpha of a pack of one, so that article's definition of an alpha differs because they say an alpha doesn't want to be alone or doesn't do well alone. Typical of those classifications, I don't fit any of the types in the article, one reason I dismiss all the Myers-Briggs, type A / B, labels. Have heard omega as a bottom of the heap, bullied by a high percentage of the group. A high percentage of my male coworkers over the years seem to be non-alphas who want to be the alpha. They would probably cheat when they could, but don't fit whatever greek letter is most likely to cheat in that article. They're possessive and are especially upset if they see a gal talking with another guy, lashing out at the guy the way a catty woman might if she sees another woman talking with a guy she likes.

Will always have a negative association with greek letters because of fraternities and sororities. Also some higher math and science classes use greek letters.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 204
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 9:31:58 AM
During one of my off periods with my last on and off ex, I met a Nigerian lady in 2009. It didn't last long as she wanted to have another baby and me to father it. She was 38 and she had a 18 year old son.

I've been asked on three different occasions to father children by women whose biological clock is ticking.


Since then, I've been asked out by a few men IRL but I was completely uninterested so I declined. They were either loser-types, trash, blotto drunk or too old (60+) so I need to do some serious self-reflecting as to why I attract such low-quality men (except the old guy).


So I'm not too old? Hmmm...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 205
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:38:44 AM

So I'm not too old? Hmmm...


Aren't you guys pretty close?
You guys are awesomely cute...you should meet for a
coffee or cone?

 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 206
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:51:13 AM
Pretty close location wise (next county), but not age wise (22 years)...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 207
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 12:08:46 PM

Last October, a group of co-workers and I went to a bowling alley.

Uh oh, that's mistake #1. ;)

Long story short, one of the guys who used to work at my hospital asked me out. Turns out he was super drunk and later divulged to me that he had consumed 8 drinks before I met him but I would've never guessed, he seemed to hold his liquor well (he was also a bigger guy).

Especially if you're a bigger guy, 8 drinks isn't super-drunk if he was pre-drinking for a decent amt of time prior to that. Chances are, he wasn't super drunk but just buzzing good. Enough to give liquid courage, but not enough to trip over his own feet. :)

I think he was embarrassed by his liquid courage or maybe I said/did something that put him off, and that's why our date was a one and done.

When not tying one on, if he's shy & awkward, yeah -- he's going to be all nervous and worked up, ruining the mood. Especially to a picky gal... while thinking "Man, I should have finished a 6 pack before I showed up on this date." Liquid courage is one of the big motivators to drink more than just a couple drinks. That's why I say when one is worked-up/shy about a gal, one should show up to said place Early and have a couple drinks before date-time hits. It makes you more acquainted with the area -- not foreign, plus you've had a couple drinks to ease your nerves. From my experience, it works wonders when meeting a gal potentially out of your league or uber-picky aka judgmental.

Since then, I've been asked out by a few men IRL but I was completely uninterested so I declined. They were either loser-types, trash, blotto drunk or too old (60+)

Since October, almost a year ago? If you're really being honest with your inner self, and none of the guys merely lacked enough attraction for your taste -- then you're solely subjecting yourself to environments which bad seeds flourish (or hardly to any places at all).

That said, in almost any environment, there'll be guys or girls in a crowd who will find the other person cute -- but not say/do anything. AND, from my 1st/2nd-hand experience, many gals who are cute but complain they "always get the worst" coming up to them -- most of them aren't "bad"... they're just not great looking, while the gal herself has a negative lens when it comes to guys coming up to her in a classic place like a bar anyway. She ends up helping to create her own destiny without truly knowing it (the side-effects of Pride).
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 208
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 1:01:21 PM

Since October, almost a year ago? If you're really being honest with your inner self, and none of the guys merely lacked enough attraction for your taste -- then you're solely subjecting yourself to environments which bad seeds flourish (or hardly to any places at all).

That said, in almost any environment, there'll be guys or girls in a crowd who will find the other person cute -- but not say/do anything. AND, from my 1st/2nd-hand experience, many gals who are cute but complain they "always get the worst" coming up to them -- most of them aren't "bad"... they're just not great looking


I could care less how attractive they are if they're not worth the effort, super-wasted or outright trash. One of the guys is the co-worker I've talked about on here before. He is 6'4", mixed Black /White & looks like Ben Simmons of the 76ers. So attraction is not the issue. Dude is 33, has no car, lives 20+ miles away and has asked me a few times to hang out with him. That means I would have to drive up to his city, which I happen to hate because there's no parking and hellish traffic, and then drive back home. He's never made mention of meeting me halfway either. There ARE buses and light-rail routes that come closer to where I live. Put simply, he's not worth the effort & gas. If he lived closer and had a car, maybe I'd be more open to spending time with him. He's not as bad as the next guy however.

Trash guy was a person I met on the light-rail leaving Seattle. He told me he was a 23-year-old virgin and he just left Seattle to pay for a hooker. He paid her $300 and then a cop showed up, thus scamming him. He tells me this story along with "looks like I'll be a virgin forever" and right before his stop he asked me for my number, to which I said "No". Ugh, gross. **** any guy who buys p*ssy and then tells a woman about it. In fact, it's very insulting that he would tell me that and then ask for my number. Again, TRASH.

Blotto guy was staggering, slurring & walking sideways drunk at a bar alone on a Sunday night at 8pm. The bartender even told him he was cut off. This man was older than me (35), that drunk in public(!!!) and asked for my number. Way to make a good first impression! Not. Go away.

At this point, I'm not interested in dating anyway. It'd have to take a high-quality, STANDOUT guy for me to change my stance on dating...not pedestrians, pathetic guys who have to pay for sex or sloppy drunks. If that ^^^ is who I attract, I'd rather be single & celibate.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 209
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 1:14:25 PM
msg#208:

Trash guy was a person I met on the light-rail leaving Seattle. He told me he was a 23-year-old virgin and he just left Seattle to pay for a hooker. He paid her $300 and then a cop showed up, thus scamming him. He tells me this story along with "looks like I'll be a virgin forever" and right before his stop he asked me for my number, to which I said "No". Ugh, gross. **** any guy who buys p*ssy and then tells a woman about it. In fact, it's very insulting that he would tell me that and then ask for my number. Again, TRASH.



siisaa---That's actually a pretty funny story. What a moron~
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 210
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 1:19:59 PM
Siisaa, go someplace and be around other men. Creepy guys always seem to be the most forward. Look into joining groups that do activities you like.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 211
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/22/2018 5:04:05 PM
1989. Before that, 1986, and 1984.

You asked. I told you.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 212
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:11:56 AM
202
Since then, I've been asked out by a few men IRL but I was completely uninterested so I declined. They were either loser-types, trash, blotto drunk or too old (60+) so I need to do some serious self-reflecting as to why I attract such low-quality men (except the old guy).

Seriously siisaa, are you that conceited you think it's all about you? What "self-reflection" could you possibly do that would determine what kind of man would hit on you. In the "real world" most men with penises hit on women who happen to have vaginas. It's that simple. Doesn't matter how a woman is dressed, what they look like, or where it happens. Men hit on women. It's pathetic that you're so full of yourself that you think there's something you could do to keep these "low-quality" men from hitting on you. Braindead (it's been used to describe you before) doesn't seem quite appropriate anymore but it will have to do
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 213
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:32:36 AM

"Since then, I've been asked out by a few men IRL but I was completely uninterested so I declined. They were either loser-types, trash, blotto drunk or too old (60+) so I need to do some serious self-reflecting as to why I attract such low-quality men (except the old guy)."

Seriously siisaa, are you that conceited you think it's all about you? What "self-reflection" could you possibly do that would determine what kind of man would hit on you. In the "real world" most men with penises hit on women who happen to have vaginas. It's that simple. Doesn't matter how a woman is dressed, what they look like, or where it happens. Men hit on women. It's pathetic that you're so full of yourself that you think there's something you could do to keep these "low-quality" men from hitting on you. Braindead (it's been used to describe you before) doesn't seem quite appropriate anymore but it will have to do


Oh hell no, now I won't stand by and watch this pretty little lady be insulted like this. Mind you she doesn't need me to take up for her because she is a smart one too and can speak for herself. But I'll do it anyhows.

She aint conceited but I think she knows she has a lot to offer and only wants to offer it to a worthy partner. At least that is my take on it.
Now that's smart to do a little self reflection. It shows you have responsibility and a sense of self awareness.

I don't think our Miss Siissa is the one who is brain dead. Hell no.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 214
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 9:31:11 AM
Thank you Constipated :) You remind me that I need my daily dose of fiber :D


Seriously siisaa, are you that conceited you think it's all about you? What "self-reflection" could you possibly do that would determine what kind of man would hit on you. In the "real world" most men with penises hit on women who happen to have vaginas. It's that simple. Doesn't matter how a woman is dressed, what they look like, or where it happens. Men hit on women. It's pathetic that you're so full of yourself that you think there's something you could do to keep these "low-quality" men from hitting on you. Braindead (it's been used to describe you before) doesn't seem quite appropriate anymore but it will have to do


I'm not of the mindset of believing just because I am reasonably attractive with a vagina that I am automatically entitled to good-quality men falling from the sky. I see that mindset on this forum A LOT, especially from the men who whine about no one responding to their messages, and I've been a proponent of the belief that if you want to attract good-quality men/women, then you yourself to be a good-quality person, and the only way to reach that is by working on yourself. How is that 'braindead' or 'conceited'?

Just because men hit on me does not I find it flattering all the time. I care more about the quality of character these men exhibit, and lately it's been LOW. Not all attention is good attention. Many women entertain any and every type of male attention, that's one of the reasons why they find themselves in ****ed-up situations with guys, or with men who are chronically unemployed, cheaters, liars, etc.

I agree with NY58. It's akin to what I've said a few times on these forums, "Don't fish in a swamp if you want a good catch." I enjoy hiking so there are plenty of Hiking Meetup Groups and WTA (Washington Trail Association) Work Parties I could attend to meet like-minded people. I may not find "The One" but that pool will be less murky than a dating site, bar or public transportation.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 215
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 12:47:39 PM
I think most women get hit on at some time.
But like Ms Siisaa says, not all attention is good attention.
Nothing wrong with trying to figure out why we seem to
attract those we're not attracted to.

We're required to smile and greet every person that comes
into the bookie. It's amazing to me how many men take that
as an invitation to take it further. I also think it's interesting
if there is a male and female employee at the customer service,
a male customer will just about always look to the female for
help and female customers will mostly gravitate towards the
male.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 216
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 3:14:08 PM


We're required to smile and greet every person that comes
into the bookie. It's amazing to me how many men take that
as an invitation to take it further.



Coffee shop workers cross boundaries too (I say coffee shop because book stores are mostly coffee shops). A coworker at my last job used to work as a barista at Barnes & Noble, and he met his wife there when they both worked there. He said there was a lot of fraternizing between workers. If he hit on B&N customers even a small % of how often he hit on people at the job where he and I were coworkers, he was crossing the line on a regular basis. He hit on "everyone". Poly, he met his female BFF at another job in which he and the BFF were coworkers.

The creepiest thing he mentioned from the B&N job was prank callers who would ask female workers to look up the book titles for a given ISBN number. The book in question had the male anatomy as part of the title, so he was trying to get them to say that word over the phone.
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:07:59 PM
Two weeks ago was the last time I met someone in real life to date. It is the only way I date. It's so much easier when you have already met the person in real time to determine if there is chemistry.
 LovingLoner2
Joined: 4/6/2018
Msg: 218
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:29:23 PM

Now that I'm in my 30s


You are young.

Change professions.

Become a welder.

You will make good money and be surrounded by men.

From labourers to engineers.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 219
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:38:22 PM
I met someone at a NYE party, and several weeks ago at a friend's pool party. IRL is so much better. None of that going for coffee nonsense, or wanting to walk you thru the mall or who is paying nonsense.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 220
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/23/2018 11:51:22 PM
My greatest concern when it comes to real life is how do you know if they are in a serious relationship? Back in the day a wedding ring or an engagement ring was a good indicator but now over half of couples in committed relationships are just commonlaw, meaning they live together but aren't married. I won't flirt with a guy because I don't know. And with my luck, I'd get a rep around town as a homewrecker.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 221
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 12:25:21 AM
blonde angel

This is so true and I was shut down for many years and not wanting to risk a relationship with a guy for all sorts of reasons. Now it is too late and I am often feeling I am missing something.
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 4:51:36 AM

My greatest concern when it comes to real life is how do you know if they are in a serious relationship? Back in the day a wedding ring or an engagement ring was a good indicator but now over half of couples in committed relationships are just commonlaw, meaning they live together but aren't married. I won't flirt with a guy because I don't know. And with my luck, I'd get a rep around town as a homewrecker.

There are no guarantees of anything in this life, all you can do is manage your risk. I do that by NOT sleeping with a man until I have got to know him , well. Usually, even asking around, someone knows or knows someone, who can tell you what you need to know. Also, you can start a conversation with a man without overtly coming across as flirting.

You just need to relax and realize, YOU DON'T NEED a man. He CAN'T and WON'T fix you.
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 223
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 6:45:03 AM
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?

Every time we walk out the door or come into contact with another human being, period.

Restrictions about looks, income etc. are ALL SELF IMPOSED.




PS- I think Miss Siisaa hit upon something. CHARACTER.
Good Character is the key.
Don't fret miss S. I thinks you have very good character and your good guy is out there.

Your Forums Daddy/White Knight
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 224
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 9:03:14 AM
Thank you Constipated, you're very sweet and your girlfriend is a lucky woman :)))


My greatest concern when it comes to real life is how do you know if they are in a serious relationship? Back in the day a wedding ring or an engagement ring was a good indicator but now over half of couples in committed relationships are just commonlaw, meaning they live together but aren't married. I won't flirt with a guy because I don't know. And with my luck, I'd get a rep around town as a homewrecker.


You can talk to a man without flirting with him. Trying to date strangers IRL is the same gamble as trying to date online strangers, people can still be deceptive in real life but that's why it pays to get to know a person BEFORE trying to date or sleep with them. I notice too many people are set on instant chemistry, insta-relationships, etc., that's a way to set yourself up for insta-disappointment! Acting solely on attraction and flirtation can lead us astray, especially in your case July where the pool is so rural, tight-knit & everyone knows each-other's business.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 225
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When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 8/24/2018 10:28:47 AM
That's the catch with IRL, you don't know if someone is single, but it's easier for me, I feel at my age. No wedding band, grocery shopping, most likely they're single. You flirt, and if he's available and interested, you find out more about the guy prior to dating, like you would online.

A man or woman can talk to someone while out and about and tell if they're available before asking for a number. A question like what do you do with your free time should yield answers, like I hang out with my bf or gf, or with my wife or husband, or my husband and myself like to....... So you know not to put yourself out there to flirt further or ask the person out. Then there's coming right out with asking someone if they're taken.
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