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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Ladies. how many messages do you receive?      Home login  
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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 26
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive? Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The same Online Dating Magazine estimates that there are more than 2,500 online dating services online in the U.S. alone, with 1,000 new online dating services opening every year. Some estimates say there are 8.000 competitors worldwide.

Online dating fraud is on the rise. Online dating fraud rose by 150% percent in the last couple of years as scammers and hucksters turned up the false charm and predatory trolling, according to a recent article on Mashable.

Social networks. “Social networking” is really the new term for dating, with mega-sites like Facebook, and the hyperlocal site Foursquare. After all, isn’t dating all about making new “friends,” and finding them in all the right places? The latest is Facebook Graph Search, unveiled last month, to help you find the perfect match on the social network.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/martinzwilling/2013/03/01/how-many-more-online-dating-sites-do-we-need/#309dbc7b7882

The point is, with so many possible ways to connect for a date online, joining any one service like POF a person will get less contacts per day than they did years ago because of the competition from all of the other dating / social media sites.

Now there are search engine parameters that can match image features, so singles will soon be able to search cyberspace for their ideal partner, and least as far as physical facial features are concerned,

I saw the same complaints in other countries, online dating isn't as good as it used to be. It's not so much that you have changed or gotten older, it's that that the world has changed.
 Blloo123
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 27
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 3/21/2018 12:58:47 AM
The problem of this topic is why it's hard for guys in their 20s to online date not Woman.. any site u go to, there is nearly always 3x guys than girls at least and normally when guys sign up, they shoot only a few woman at a time a message unique to the profile of the person, but as time goes by woman might look at the guys profile, no reply to the message or no response at all and the ending cause is the guy becoming frustrated and ends up doing the copy and paste method to every girl out there that he thinks looks good enough to potentially date and thus, woman in the 20s end up with 20-30+ messages a day and become VERY PICKY and SELECTIVE thinking they are really special and end up turning down tons of guys that honestly if asked out in real life would have been some damn near luck for them.

That's the prime issue with online dating for men. The tables do turn when woman end up having kids or become 40+ years old, that's when the guys become more of value and they will be much more open to every message, but in early ages hell no....
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 28
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 3/21/2018 4:21:21 AM

the copy and paste method to every girl out there that he thinks looks good enough to potentially date and thus, woman in the 20s end up with 20-30+ messages a day and become VERY PICKY and SELECTIVE thinking they are really special

Copy/paste messages do not make a person feel special. In fact it is just the opposite.

and end up turning down tons of guys that honestly if asked out in real life would have been some damn near luck for them.

Ignoring copy/paste or watup messages is not equal to turning down a man in real life. In real life you do not have two dozen men walking down a line saying the identical thing to every single woman and then standing at the end of the line to see if any bite - and if that was happening he too would get turned down - most people (men and women) would recognize that person for just what they are. Hopefully a real life approach would be more nuanced.

Real life is always better IMO. Eye contact, body language, inflection, are all things that you just can't get online. Catching a guy's eye and smiling at him across a crowded room and having him act on it . Yes, please.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 29
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 3/21/2018 7:48:34 AM

Copy/paste messages do not make a person feel special. In fact it is just the opposite.


Some women on the forums have complained about copy and paste messages. However most women I have talked to / had dates with from OLD and women I know that have used OLD didn't have a problem with generic messages such as "How are you?" for the first email. OLD is largely about pictures and stats first. Then maybe the rest of the profile. Initial email content is usually last. Except for examples that I had mentioned in a previous post. If someone likes your pictures and you match their requirements, most of the time that person will get a positive reply.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 30
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 3/21/2018 11:46:15 PM
Not many. Maybe 1-2 a day, and some days none at all. I also have my restrictions set up so I don't know if that has anything to do with anything. He has to be within a certain distance (I think I have it at 50 miles) and has to be between 31-40. I see people who add me as a favorite and when I look at their profile, they're outside of those parameters.

I have considered changing the mileage but I get a lot of messages from men that live in Memphis and I've learned that those are 100% the worst men on the planet.
 nyx1980
Joined: 3/17/2018
Msg: 31
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 4:05:47 AM
Lots but substance

If you took 40 messages and put them all together might actually have something decent to read LOL

Whats with people acting like it costs £1 a word or something
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 32
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 7:36:40 AM
"Whats with people acting like it costs £1 a word or something"

Guys have answered that question many times in various threads about the topic.
A guy can write a message that's a literary piece of art, but it won't guarantee a response. Many guys have said they put a lot of thought into initial messages, but get zero responses. That's because guys and women do the same thing in OLD: If the person doesn't pass the attractive looking test in their picture, then it's delete on to the next one, regardless of the quality of message.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 33
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 7:41:45 AM
yeah, a lot of what he ^^ said.

also, guys tend to advertise themselves too much, trying to impress with a resume list of achievements, and what they really need to do is...be a mystery. A woman who is interested in a stranger, (generally speaking) will concoct a background story about him. It doesn't work for all women, but its crazy how many do jump thru hoops for the strong silent type....without wondering, "is he silent b/c he just has nothing to say?".

like site said, men who have composed wonderful emails just to be ignored, realize its all about the photos, and send a simple message. there are women who come here to complain about men who "Changed from who they presented themselves as", so why focus on a flowery first message? Supposedly women read the profiles, men look at the photos, but...
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 34
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 8:34:05 AM

Guys have answered that question many times in various threads about the topic.
A guy can write a message that's a literary piece of art, but it won't guarantee a response. Many guys have said they put a lot of thought into initial messages, but get zero responses. That's because guys and women do the same thing in OLD: If the person doesn't pass the attractive looking test in their picture, then it's delete on to the next one, regardless of the quality of message.


So very true.
Many profiles say "no pic, no response" or "will not respond to one-line messages".
So you have a pic and spend the time to craft a great message - and nothing...

Meanwhile, the last 2 women who contacted me:
"Good evening . How are you ?"
"Hey there. :)"

POF is basically like Tinder. It works really well for attractive people.
All you need is to be attractive. your profile and message don't mean anything.
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 10:06:48 AM
For the women that prefer a good first message that has some thought put into it - If you get one that obviously took some time to write., will you respond if your not attracted to the photos? And taking it a step further, if you get a simple message from an attractive guy, will you reply to that one instead?
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 36
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 10:41:51 AM
Meanwhile, the last 2 women who contacted me:
"Good evening . How are you ?"
"Hey there. :)"

Its hilarious , that women always say they want longer first messages, but I would get lots of messages and they would mostly say "Hey there :)"

That would be 90 percent of the messages women would send.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 37
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 10:44:01 AM
For the women that prefer a good first message that has some thought put into it - If you get one that obviously took some time to write., will you respond if your not attracted to the photos? And taking it a step further, if you get a simple message from an attractive guy, will you reply to that one instead?

Not a chick, but I have found they will respond to almost anything if they find you attractive. From a one word message to a long thoughtful one, to a silly comment and sometimes to a slightly rude comment.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 38
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 2:51:38 PM
Once they realize they can play pick and choose, it's time to say asta-luwee-gee, and go find yourself doing something else.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 39
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/21/2018 8:48:41 PM
Yeah, it is funny that a lot of women are demanding me put so much effort into a first message when they themselves don’t put a lot of effort into their written profile. I’ve also never received a first message from a woman that was anything more than a, “Hi, how r u?”. And they have the nerve to say that men are lazy.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 40
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/21/2018 11:15:46 PM
When a guy has the looks or is rich or has a great job, he doesn't have to put much effort in. Guys who aren't, need to try much harder and the way the profile is written or a first few messages will attract a woman enough to give a guy a second look. Best bait for me is when a guy references something or asks a question regarding something I've specifically put in my profile.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 41
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/22/2018 4:10:19 AM
^^^ Exactly why it’s not worth it for men to try too hard on here. It’s much easier to ask an attractive woman out for coffee in real life. Women are all around and you can talk with them every day. This site is like a locked gate where only a few select men get to converse with women.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 42
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/22/2018 6:28:48 AM

^^^ Exactly why it’s not worth it for men to try too hard on here. It’s much easier to ask an attractive woman out for coffee in real life. Women are all around and you can talk with them every day. This site is like a locked gate where only a few select men get to converse with women.


Precisely. It took me a while to come up with that conclusion. Once I did, then I just started to speak my mind, and not let women walk all over me.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 43
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/22/2018 7:20:09 AM
Sometimes only a few, and other times up to ten so not inundated. Most initial messages are very short, however, I'd say the vast majority turn into lengthier and ongoing conversations with some I've met for dinner after work. I don't take offense to short first messages. I understand why someone would stop putting an effort into lengthy messages. It simply takes effort on the receiver's part to have lengthier conversations in my opinion. Everyone has been really decent and I've made some people I consider friends now.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/22/2018 11:31:07 AM
Back when I first started this journey (OLD), I put a lot of effort into my initial messages. I tried very hard to pick women whose profile indicated that we had something in common, and that we might actually “be a match”.

Then when I started seeing “unread deleted”, I started looking for how to make this system work for me, as it obviously wasn’t. That’s when I found these forums, and read, and read, and read. And I learned, a lot.


One of the really eye-opening moments was when I read a post here by an attractive woman. She spoke of going on vacation for 2 weeks, and returning to find literally hundreds of messages in her inbox. With no reasonable way to deal with that many messages, she simply deleted ALL OF THEM and started over.

Now this woman was quite a bit younger than me, and I would never have messaged her. And I’m sure many of those messages were one liners, and many were cut and paste. But you know there had to be many, many carefully thought out messages that were deleted without the woman ever even seeing the profile picture, never mind reading that initial message. We’re talking at the very least several dozen hours of effort on the part of sincere, well meaning young men. Potentially hundreds of hours. All for naught.

And I do understand the postion of this young woman. She returns from vacation, finds 500, 600, 700 or more initial messages. She can’t possibly wade through all of those, she has to go to work and sleep and do all of those other mundane things. So what choice did she have, really?

Which leads us to these rules:

1) Scan the profile. If you see deal breakers, move on. Else, go to step 2.

2) Compose a brief initial message. If possible, mention something from her profile. If there is nothing in her profile, then why in hell are you messaging her? Oh, year, she’s good looking. Example of brief initial message: “Good morning, I see that you list reading in your interests, what are you reading right now?”

3) As the late lamented Cowboy liked to say, “send the message and then forget about it. Nothing matters except positive replies in your inbox.”

Once you've had a little practice, you should be able to scan a profile, and if suitable, compose and send that brief initial message in around 2 o r 3 minutes.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 45
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/24/2018 7:36:26 PM
If I don't log on for two week I might have 15+ messages. However, if I log on for an hour while I am responding to messages and additional messages from guys I have already replied to, I will receive 2 to 5 messages from new guys.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 46
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/24/2018 8:07:50 PM

For the women that prefer a good first message that has some thought put into it - If you get one that obviously took some time to write., will you respond if your not attracted to the photos? And taking it a step further, if you get a simple message from an attractive guy, will you reply to that one instead?

Unless they cheat the minimum first message word requirements such as holding down the "n" key and generating 40 "n's" I respond to all first messages, often with "Thank for your message" and I attach one or two of my hidden photos. Usually in my first or second reply, I say something like, "I will respond to some of your messages, but I'm not interested in meeting." I don't respond to subsequent messages such as "Hey" or other very short messages that don't require a response. And, I never responded to "I wasn't asking to meet you, I asked if you were dtf." nor did I respond to any of his future messages. However, that was an exception since guys seldom say anything in their messages that I think is rude.
 dizzydavid
Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 47
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 11/15/2018 7:47:30 AM
Whoa, after reading some of the replies on here I've realised I must have two heads of three noses as I only get the odd message every so often!
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 48
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 11/23/2018 7:24:37 AM
The women that demand you send a treatise and not a "hi" or "how are you handsome?" are the funniest ones.

"Texting grammar", like "hru?" are immediate turn offs.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 49
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 12/1/2018 10:15:21 PM
It is funny when women demand well thought out long messages as a first message. I get lots of first contact emails from women and rarely is it anything except the word "Hi." Since women say they refuse to answer short emails, I don't either. Two can play that game.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 50
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Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 12/2/2018 5:49:12 AM

Whoa, after reading some of the replies on here I've realised I must have two heads of three noses as I only get the odd message every so often!


Gee! You're up to every so often! Lucky you!

Aside from one that I message every so often, this place is full of talking corpses. My last date was when I climbed aboard my Wing. She never says no. Which is a good thing.
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