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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 201
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I think everyone is losing their sense of reality, lol. Everyone would like someone to be attractive, but it was not always the driving force. People met other people in their neighborhood when they grew up where everyone were friends and it continued on that way with developing relationships. Now it's coming down to statistics as a way to say why people are by themselves, but the real reason for that is because there is something wrong with a person as for why they can't meet someone of the opposite sex and get along or they choose not to date anymore or they're busy with other aspects of their life. It's that simple.

Doesn't anyone remember being of high school age where you met people organically, where it wasn't about dating the most beautiful people, but people that you knew in your neighborhood?
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 202
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:50:07 AM
nice post ny.........the forum often loses focus.....in reality there are fat people with skinny people, short with tall ect. Observe almost any couple and you will see an imbalance.....its not a world of just beautiful couples, that's nonsense. People here are just trying to understand why they havn't found their partner......for every thread here about short guys, I can tell you about short guys with great partners, throw all that crap out the window, you are who you are, attractive or not, just deal with it.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 203
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 4:46:30 AM
"things they can't talk the women of their lives into doing to or for them"

>>which is a pity, b/c sharing your desires should strengthen a healthy relationship. Some women would even want to know their man's deep secrets, and connect closer as a result. but those who couple in order to look normal and successful, they can't reveal their inner (weaker?) selves.

if you've ever collected items, you know the thrill of finding out something you want for your collection, is for sale at a reasonable price. no one's immune to that.

the spouse we finally end up with, may physically not be the type we chased as horny teens. Women may have their "bad boy" phase, and then settle down with a nice guy who will be a good husband and father and reliable provider. when that biological clock rings, they may not be looking for drunk hookups as much as they did as a stressed out college student. and when mid-life crisis hits, they may change yet again, the purpose for getting laid.

its a nice compliment to hear someone claim we'd be a great spouse. But its also nice to hear we're hot as summer.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 204
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 5:11:34 AM

Doesn't anyone remember being of high school age where you met people organically, where it wasn't about dating the most beautiful people, but people that you knew in your neighborhood?


The neighborhood has changed. It's now on your phone screen. I've seen groups of kids walking to and from school, and they're all staring at their cell phones, instead of communicating verbally with each other. I would suspect high school nowadays is the same way. The cell/smart phone is making people socially inept.

When I was in high school, guys were attracted to the good looking girls, and girls were attracted to the good looking guys/jocks. That's no different than at any stage in life. The only difference is the size of the dating pool. When we were kids, we only knew people in our neighborhood, and the rest of the world seemed like it was a different planet. But once people got older and discovered the world outside of their neighborhood, suddenly there are more options in the dating pool, and people will be more picky if there are more to choose from.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 205
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 11:19:30 AM
My point is that there's someone for everyone, and it's not based on classical beauty and height. Can you imagine if people really didn't date because of looks and height? For anyone that thinks they're not good-looking or too short, there's a good chance that's how your parents looked, yet they met and married like millions of other people resembling them.

Kiss, to me, sex is not a bargaining chip in a relationship. I don't know what women would be using sex for bargaining to get, maybe asking a guy to do what he needs to do? Fix the leaky faucet or something else they should be doing? If the guy is potentially not doing his part in the relationship, why expect your female mate to?
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 206
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 1:11:34 PM
Knowing what my father did in his life, I am not too sure I want to follow in his footsteps...

>_>
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 207
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 2:06:11 PM
It's a good thing you learned from his mistakes. When men wonder why some women make poor choices with dating and getting married, sometimes it's a not so great father that was the example of what a man should be.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 208
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 6:43:26 PM

When I was in high school, guys were attracted to the good looking girls, and girls were attracted to the good looking guys/jocks. That's no different than at any stage in life. The only difference is the size of the dating pool. When we were kids, we only knew people in our neighborhood, and the rest of the world seemed like it was a different planet. But once people got older and discovered the world outside of their neighborhood, suddenly there are more options in the dating pool, and people will be more picky if there are more to choose from.


Lol, that’s not my experience. When I was in high school at least a few girls hinted that they were interested in me, but being kind of a dork, I was too shy and awkward to talk to them. I grew up before the age of internet and iPhones when everything was so much simpler. All I had to do was go to school and not worry about how I’m going to pay my rent or buy a new car. Girls at that age didn’t expect you to have those things. Now women are making it so much more difficult to talk to them. First there’s the single mother who has no time for men. Then there’s the women who nose is buried in her iphone all day. Online dating has given women so many options that they won’t even consider an average guy.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 209
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:41:43 PM

Now women are making it so much more difficult to talk to them. First there’s the single mother who has no time for men. Then there’s the women who nose is buried in her iphone all day. Online dating has given women so many options that they won’t even consider an average guy.

Yes - they do have many more options - and exactly why many are still single if they're also average.

NOBODY is ever going to check every box on their list of their imaginary "perfect man".
And anyone they want, may not want them - just like it happens to the rest of us.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 210
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/5/2018 6:57:53 AM
Its true that today with all the tech and narcissism, people stay single longer. Lots of the time it has to do with people not being able to make a decision. You have 2 options, you can pick which you like best. You have hundreds? A lot tougher to decide.

And women in general aren't good at making decisions in their personal life. Why do you think they always say

" I want a man who can take charge and make decisions! " Because women hate making decisions and being responsible for choices.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 211
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/5/2018 8:30:57 AM

And women in general aren't good at making decisions in their personal life. Why do you think they always say

" I want a man who can take charge and make decisions! " Because women hate making decisions and being responsible for choices.


Not all women are like that, but I think the ones who are have serious daddy attachment issues and never really grew up. They want to be in a relationship which reminds them of when their father paid every thing and made decisions for them. It the same with the “momma’s boys” who never grew up and expect a woman to do all the cooking and cleaning for them because that’s what their mothers did.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 212
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:16:43 AM
just to chime in with another observation...when I was younger, there were people who dated in their own social circle, but they tended to be...how to say this...people who did a lot within their social circle. what some might call "small (town) minded". In junior high and high school, the popular kids were the hot ones, and the athletes (who may have been attractive for being in good form). A few attractive nerd girls and the like would date outside this circle, but by senior year a couple of the jocks had burned their way thru the girls in the popular clique and were dating the nerd girls.

I was a massive flirt--for every popular hottie who flirted back, there was another popular hottie disgusted someone like me was flirting with her (the school yearbook didn't pick me as class flirt--the popular kids got voted for all the popular roles). But everyone saw what they wanted to see in school and has their own memories i'm sure.

"single moms who have no time for men"

>>>not to rehash/retrash an old thread, but Kelly had mentioned single parenting and I was reminded about how in the days of black and white TV, Andy Griffith and the Rifleman were single dads, and thought to be great parents. I think there's another single dad from the 1950's entertainment i'm forgetting. I don't know if they were considered role models, but they weren't ostracized or made fools like Ralph Kramden.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 213
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 7:09:38 AM
" I was reminded about how in the days of black and white TV, Andy Griffith and the Rifleman were single dads, and thought to be great parents."

Ah yes-TV children. Children on shows who are like mature mini adults, who have never do anything wrong and often give parents advice on life and words of wisdom. People will watch that and wonder why their kids aren't acting like that, and instead, acting more like the kids in Married With Children.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 214
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 8:02:04 AM
Yes , We are a blend of both parents. And yes they met, married and had children. But times have changed. Many have the financial means to not settle for what they have naturally. There are all types of cosmetic procedures and enhancements that are now common as white bread (at least where I live). Bad teeth - drop 7 to 10 on braces, caps, implants. Body shape not ideal - personal trainers, dr b to drop a ton quickly, surgery to sculpt or add to or take away from. Face could use some help - laser treatments, vampire facelift, chin implant, nose job, eye lift, eyebrow tattoo, mink eyelash extensions. Hair could use some help - hair extensions. The list goes on, I'm sure. These interventions are common around here (many have some pretty solid financial resources). So yes, I believe there is someone for everyone, but it can be a bit more difficult for those of us living in areas where it's common for higher-end enhancements. It takes two people to get past the idea that the world is a buffet and look instead to characteristics and traits that can't be altered easily. I'm just glad I'm no longer in the pool.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 215
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 8:59:09 AM
Cosmetic enhancements are NOT common around where I live. I've never actually.even heard of anyone around here getting anything done and trust me, with the gossip mill that goes on in small-town Saskatchewan, you'd hear about it. That kind of thing would definitely be noticed.

High school dating in my high school which had only about 500 kids, was limited. In my school it wasn't super clicky. The preppy academics and the jocks and the "bad" kids all intermingled freely with the nerds only on the fringes but a lot of kids didn't fit into any of those molds entirely. Our high school had kids from 4 junior high/elementary schools so people came in with their old friendships from the smaller schools. I was a floater in high school. I was friends with a couple of girls from my old school who were big partiers in high school, who smoked in the parking lot at noon hour and who drank and occasionally smoked weed. I was never a smoker of either cigarettes or weed but I did drink and I went to a lot of parties. I was also a jock, played hockey and soccer and was in track and field (just for Grade 10) plus I was on the school newspaper, sang in the choir and tried yearbook for a year. I was an A student in a lot of classes but my math was horrible so I had to take the remedial math. I partied too much in Grade 10, almost flunked out but pulled my socks up and got Most Improved student for Grade 11. When it came to boys, I was shy, tended to hang back. I had guy friends growing up but they started dating in high school and were lost to me. I made out with a few guys at parties but never went beyond second base with anyone and I never had a boyfriend. It made me sad not getting to have a boyfriend in high school what with all the tv shows I watched like Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, My So-called Life and Party of Five showing all the teenage relationship drama that was possible.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 216
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 9:19:32 AM
July, I suspect the same would be relatively true for rural areas in this province, although there is a lot of oil money so maybe not as rare as rural Saskatchewan.
It was interesting to read that you were sad to not have a boyfriend in highschool. I would list having a boyfriend throughout highschool as a regret of mine. You were involved in far more activities than I and I am thinking you had a lot more fun. I was too busy with a relationship that went nowhere. If I knew then what I know now, I would have skipped the boy and gotten involved with more activities (not sports - really sucked at those :-)).
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 217
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Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 9:34:38 AM
I wouldn't recommend that people get cosmetic surgery unless it is reconstructive. Aging with dignity and grace is in itself quite attractive.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 218
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/6/2018 5:00:16 PM
^^^and to get graphic...when you're older, some of those add-ons are trouble. Silicon breast implants and crematorium ovens, do not a good combination make.

July, your story reminded me of passing by the local athletic field to have lunch with a friend. you could see which of the young boys were the go-getters, the ones who would grow up to be athletic. And the rest were, well...disorganized is a kind word :) but as long as they had fun, that's ok, too.

around here, there are few cosmetic surgeries beyond the simple dental stuff. Losing weight seems to be done by either a dude named Gym...or a lifetime of smoking and drinking :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 219
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Don't forget the crackers for the cheese
Posted: 5/6/2018 5:57:52 PM
I doubt cosmetic surgery is big in WA state with all the grunge wearers here.

Mustang, The Courtship of Eddie's Father with Bill Bixby, and Family Affair with Brian Keith.
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