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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 226
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWERPage 10 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
"As much as we like to say height and weight are automatic disqualifiers, I think that might not be necessarily true."

I think it's not necessarily true because of the law of supply and demand. If you were to go to some hick town in the middle of nowhere, most of the people are paired up. What are the chances of every person with such a small pool of choices finding their perfect Prince Charming/Cinderella? People will adjust their "must have" lists according to what's available in the market place.

There has never been a point in history of the chance of the human race dying out, because of people not being able to find their perfect mate who meets all of their "must have/must be" requirements -who they would be willing to breed with to carry on the species. A lot of people have "must have" lists a mile long with a zillion requirements. But how much shorter would that list be if they were in some isolated place and with no internet, like in previous generations, and only a handful of choices? People still paired up, even though they might have to lower their standards (fairy tale vision of what makes a perfect spouse).

For some reason, living in the cyber world hasn't solved the problem of making sure every person finding their perfect match, and perfect couples living happily ever after. It seems like the more choices we have, the less likely we will find that one that's just right, because of the mindset that there will always be someone out there that's even better than what I have now, since there are so many to choose from. It's like shopping for shoes.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 227
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 2:13:55 PM
July, as the Brits say, that was a "brilliant" post!

Site, I think the pickiness is more apparent in older folks that have become more aware about what they want and will work for them. I do see a shift with younger generations waiting longer to get married. It's a good thing, being older and wiser. Also, women are establishing their careers first before going out on maternity leave. Another plus is older smarter couples raising kids.

True, you'd have to adjust what you want according to supply and demand, but one can't veer off too much, because then both men and women that feel they settled may not look at their s/o with loving eyes, but instead with a level of contempt. It wouldn't be fair to one's partner to have that attitude. I'd rather be by myself than be with someone that feels they settled. I'm not only looking to make myself happy, but also want my partner to be happy.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 228
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 3:44:39 PM
"First we'd have to all agree on what a 10 looks like...and that's never going to happen."

>>>Except Hollywood, TV news picking out weather gals, beauty pagents, and the model industry seem to do a good job :) But hey, I only read Playboy for the articles.

"when I see a guy say he treats women who deserve it, with respect...."

>>>not to answer for Henry, but if I find a woman who doesn't treat her own self with respect...who am I to argue? :) If a man or a woman treats me with disrespect, i'm not going to bow and scrape unless i'm told they have dementia or there's a big paycheck coming or...well, you get the idea. Some jerks will disrespect a woman over a slight they imagine happened. I don't support that nonsense.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 229
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 6:39:15 PM
JulyStorm... that's a statement worth taking into my personal notes.... epic breakdown of something that has been going on in my head.... I trust you understand if I take it with 'credit' (but it's still only personal notes)

I know that *personally... I can't even begin to see Intimate attraction until I see strong indicators in the Functional, Physical and Personal attractions...

NewYorker...

True, you'd have to adjust what you want according to supply and demand, but one can't veer off too much, because then both men and women that feel they settled may not look at their s/o with loving eyes, but instead with a level of contempt. It wouldn't be fair to one's partner to have that attitude. I'd rather be by myself than be with someone that feels they settled. I'm not only looking to make myself happy, but also want my partner to be happy.


Nicely put.... I remember the gut ache of 'settling'... and how crumby I felt when I had to dissolve the situationship... Never want to go through that again, hurting someone else in raising their hopes.

(on an aside.... and on topic... just how long does OP consider 'a few days'.... l*****g b*****d still has that screenshot up after a week)
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 230
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:09:39 PM
He has now taken it off.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 231
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:23:43 PM
^^^^
I sit corrected... you are right... let's hope OP has taken some of this discussion on board... as he got ten pages of attention...


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.


Quality??? really???? lol
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 232
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:24:43 PM

For some people, their preferences are an absolute,


If their "preferences" are absolute, they are REQUIREMENTS, not preferences.

Those words are not synonymous.

Example:

Preference- Someone's favorite salad dressing is 1000 Island, but they will take ranch if 1000 Island is not available.

Requirement- Someone HAS to have 1000 Island dressing or they won't have a salad at all.

Can anyone besides me see the difference between those 2 viewpoints?



if a person has enough attractiveness in other areas, height or weight may be overlooked.


"May be overlooked" IF the person is not so fanatical about the height or weight.

But that is rarely the case.

I did come across such a rare profile of a woman who said she is 6' 1" and started off her About Me by saying that she "prefers" a taller man, but never rules anyone out based on height alone.
Which is a lot more appealing than "You MUST be at least 6 feet tall or don't bother sending me a message", which I have also seen.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 233
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:52:27 PM
A woman's biological clock plays into all this too. Women who get into their late 20s start to lower their standards considerably because they want kids and they can't be sure how big their window of fertility will be. Studies show that women's fertility really starts to take a nose dive after the age of 27 (keep in mind, that's the average age). By the time a woman is 35, she has about a 30% chance of conceiving and by the age of 40, a 5% chance. So a lot of woman settle because they want to give themselves a better chance at having kids. Note: There is a big exception to this fertility window and that is after a woman gives birth, her fertility often is much greater due to certain hormones and a women who has a child at say age 38, has almost the same chance at conceiving as a woman in her mid-20s.

Many men don't get to be in such a hurry to have kids until their early 40s when suddenly they are more likely to settle for a woman who they perceive as fertile. Many men in online dating surveys actually list a woman's fertility or desire to have children as a top qualifier in finding a woman to date. And of course, men can often find younger women who are more likely to have children for them. Men don't settle for a woman because she offers fertility until they begin to worry about their chances of finding a woman who is fertile.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 234
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 10:02:11 PM
Mustang, don't care what his reasoning is for that statement (by Henry): "But I do like women, and treat them with respect. At least the ones who deserve respect."

It's an ugly statement. If I saw that in a profile, and I have, never would I ever consider dating that person. You don't disrespect a women, you move on. So, exactly how are these "disrespectful to themselves" women treated by Henry, and yourself if you happen upon one? What do you do to them?

Henry reminds me of an infomercial or used car salesperson in his profile, trying to sell women a bill of goods, which would be himself. But, you can't be all bad, Henry; I see you have 2 rescue dogs.
 Nyeahsers
Joined: 12/7/2017
Msg: 235
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 10:06:32 PM
Newyorker, I agree with you. It's a red flag from either sex and is very suggestive of one's character.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 236
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 2:48:06 AM


For some people, their preferences are an absolute,


(fullmoonguy2) If their "preferences" are absolute, they are REQUIREMENTS, not preferences.

Those words are not synonymous.

Example:

Preference- Someone's favorite salad dressing is 1000 Island, but they will take ranch if 1000 Island is not available.

Requirement- Someone HAS to have 1000 Island dressing or they won't have a salad at all.

Can anyone besides me see the difference between those 2 viewpoints?


You're whistling past a graveyard, here. You'll spend 2-3 pages explaining something very simple that anyone should get, only to have some lame-brain blow in here and merrily disregard common sense.

I swear, some people act like they only have brains to feed zombies. And, some people aren't acting.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 237
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 2:58:09 AM

(Newyorker58) Mustang, don't care what his reasoning is for that statement (by Henry): "But I do like women, and treat them with respect. At least the ones who deserve respect."

It's an ugly statement. If I saw that in a profile, and I have, never would I ever consider dating that person.


Then, it would have served its intended purpose, yes? Not a jab at you; an observation that disagreement over such a phrase indicates a fundamental emotional/mental difference and hence, incompatibility.


(Newyorker58) You don't disrespect a women, you move on.


Maybe Henry's idea of "respect" is to spend time with a woman; if she is not worthy of his time, perhaps he withholds his "respect" from that woman by not spending his time with her? Whyncha *ASK HENRY*, instead of flying off the handle, like usual?
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 238
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 4:27:32 AM

I did come across such a rare profile of a woman who said she is 6' 1" and started off her About Me by saying that she "prefers" a taller man, but never rules anyone out based on height alone.
Which is a lot more appealing than "You MUST be at least 6 feet tall or don't bother sending me a message", which I have also seen.


I see people interchange preference and requirements a lot too with respect to OLD. I wish more people would utilize the first wording more often. Number two is so hostile but sooo much more common.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 239
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:09:56 AM

If their "preferences" are absolute, they are REQUIREMENTS, not preferences.

I guess I should have said (air quote)preferences (air quotes)...
... such as, "For some people, their 'preferences' are actually requirements.

It could be that some people, as they write up their profiles, don't know the difference between the words or perhaps between the differences between a requirement and preference.
Or they don't discover that these criteria are truly (air quote)absolute(air quote) until they've dated a while.


You're whistling past a graveyard, here. You'll spend 2-3 pages explaining something very simple that anyone should get, only to have some lame-brain blow in here and merrily disregard common sense.

Oh, dear. Am I the lame brain here? And I thought we were coming to a détente. :-)


I swear, some people act like they only have brains to feed zombies. And, some people aren't acting.

Hmmm, are lamebrains an appropriate and healthy food to feed healthy zombies?
 Tyro327
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 240
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 8:40:01 AM
No their problems are their requirements aren't absolute but then again neither are their preferences, their just full of themselves until the right person changes that thought.

The fact how you think the meaning requirement is and to what it really is are 2 different things as they are only in the mind of the person seeking. Similar to a job they give all types of requirements but there is remove to move for the right candidate for the job, it is relative to the employer on if it's an absolute requirement, or highly wanted but if they don't get it they can make do.

Too many people and companies use the requirement as a most sought factor when they are willing to settle, like some employers some people also will use the meaning in a "wanted" but not "mandatory" sense confusing everyone else or eliminating a lot of people who lack the confidence, and passion to succeed to risk the chance. Basically a deterrent for the undesirable time wasters who plaque their lives to get to those who have a particular quality their looking for.

The word of today is requirement and how to ignore it is get a set of balls, have some confidence, approach with respect and you might be surprised.

And no I wasn't booted just wasn't sure if I would comeback and haunt you people or not.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 241
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 9:24:07 AM

And no I wasn't booted just wasn't sure if I would comeback and haunt you people or not.

Good come back

The cat came back the very next day
but
The Pig stayed away.

When are you coming back to haunt us Pig?
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 242
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 9:44:48 AM
ohenryx is a gentleman. I took his statement to mean that if a woman treated him disrespectfully, she didn't deserve his respect. Just because someone is female doesn't automatically mean they deserve respect. Respect is not always a given. Sometimes it needs to be earned.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 243
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 10:40:28 AM
^^^Actually, that isn't gender specific. If anyone is treated disrespectfully, the offender doesn't deserve to be respected-regardless of gender.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 244
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 12:00:27 PM

Actually, that isn't gender specific. If anyone is treated disrespectfully, the offender doesn't deserve to be respected-regardless of gender.


I fully agree.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 245
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 6:44:25 PM


(AT) You're whistling past a graveyard, here. You'll spend 2-3 pages explaining something very simple that anyone should get, only to have some lame-brain blow in here and merrily disregard common sense.


(2ufo) Oh, dear. Am I the lame brain here? And I thought we were coming to a détente. :-)


Détente, like dishes at a Greek wedding, are meant to be broken.

*OPA!!!*
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 246
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Posted: 4/11/2018 7:07:50 PM

NewYorker58
Henry, not sure all women think this way, but your statements are conflicting to me. When I see a guy say he treats women with respect that deserve it, that's a BIG red flag

Well, after seeing NewYorker58’s attack (msg 222, page 9), I was readying my rebuttal. But I see that I don’t really need to. Others have already said what I intended to say. Thank you and a tip-of-the-hat to MachI, Arlo, and WhiteRose0.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 247
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/11/2018 7:28:40 PM
It wasn't meant as an attack, Henry. A lot of guys have some crazy opinions, and I say nothing, not looking to criticise every off looking post, as everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this is about an "action", not a thought. You said you don't treat women with respect that don't deserve it, so then how do you treat them, what do you do? No one can answer that for you.

Whiterose, how would you know if Henry is a gentleman or not? I'm not saying he is or isn't. I don't see how he treats women, and neither do you.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 248
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Irony is alive and well
Posted: 4/12/2018 2:29:10 AM

It wasn't meant as an attack, Henry. A lot of guys have some crazy opinions, and I say nothing, not looking to criticise every off looking post, as everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this is about an "action", not a thought. You said you don't treat women with respect that don't deserve it, so then how do you treat them, what do you do? No one can answer that for you.

Whiterose, how would you know if Henry is a gentleman or not? I'm not saying he is or isn't. I don't see how he treats women, and neither do you.

I know how Henry has treated me through the years and it has always been respectful. I have never seen him use the ugly language towards women that I have seen his accuser of disrespect use. I have never seen him start a thread to bash a particular woman or women in general. I have never seen him make sweeping generalizations like "all men cheat" like I have seen his accuser use.

Saying you are not attacking a person and in the very next sentence saying they have crazy opinions and calling their post off looking sure seems to be a passive aggressive attack.

Henry is actually out in the world dating and *gasp* having sex. Some of you should really try it. It would probably make you better people.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 249
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/12/2018 3:06:52 AM

(NY58) It wasn't meant as an attack, Henry. A lot of guys have some crazy opinions, and I say nothing, not looking to criticise every off looking post, as everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this is about an "action", not a thought. You said you don't treat women with respect that don't deserve it, so then how do you treat them, what do you do? No one can answer that for you.


Why is how Henry treats women of any concern to you? Are you planning on dating him?


(NY58) Whiterose, how would you know if Henry is a gentleman or not? I'm not saying he is or isn't. I don't see how he treats women, and neither do you.


So, your first go-to assumption is to assume the worst, rather than assume the best? What sort of damaged and/or shrewishly venal mentality does that? Y'know, I heard tell once of a (fictitious, but many people believe he was real) carpenter from Nazareth who said that we should be nice to one another. Since I also hear tell that *YOU* put a lot of stock in this fable, I wonder why your default setting is malicious b!tch?


(spot4username) I know how Henry has treated me through the years and it has always been respectful. I have never seen him use the ugly language towards women that I have seen his accuser of disrespect use. I have never seen him start a thread to bash a particular woman or women in general. I have never seen him make sweeping generalizations like "all men cheat" like I have seen his accuser use.

Saying you are not attacking a person and in the very next sentence saying they have crazy opinions and calling their post off looking sure seems to be a passive aggressive attack.


NewYorker58 is in a world of her own. Don't seek reasonable thinking from her.


(spot4username) Henry is actually out in the world dating and *gasp* having sex. Some of you should really try it. It would probably make you better people.


A bout of sheet-tearing, back-clawing, hair-pulling, bedframe-breaking sex is the cure for just about everything.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 250
Irony is alive and well
Posted: 4/12/2018 8:02:17 AM
"You said you don't treat women with respect that don't deserve it,"

>>>but is that what he said? he said:

"But I do like women, and treat them with respect. At least the ones who deserve respect."

The inference is the ones he rules do not deserve respect...he can only treat with disrespect. but there's another option, he can just choose to walk away. Its not a black or white, yes or no, up or down dual-choice. there's a third door to choose from and walk thru. And if he does like women, he may choose the third door.

"Some of you should really try it(sex). It would probably make you better people."

>>>so what about the women complaining about how bad it was or how they got used? :)
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