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 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 201
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWERPage 9 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

The hell you say. I’m old and fat and ugly and coarse and crude, but I have dated some very beautiful women in my time. And I expect to date some more before I’m done.


You're 6ft 2, that puts you in the top 1% of all men by default.
Most women do actually go for personality over looks anyway, and if the guy is confident then that's a huge bonus (so long as he doesn't come across as arrogant with it). I think the OP got turned down for things other than his looks as she classes herself as intelligent and i have an idea why she turned him down but don't wanna knock the guys confidence so won't say unless he asks me to and then i will be honest with him.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 202
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 8:26:58 AM
I'm pretty sure we all know why he got turned down.
I get it.
I just think her response was rude.
She could have said no thanks...or she could have not responded.

I've seen messages to men I'm sure people would think were out
of my league, but I can honestly say, I've only gotten the "we're not
a match" line. No one has ever said ARE YOU FARKING KIDDING ME?
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 203
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 9:01:37 AM
True, i haven't said it to any men even though i wonder why on earth they thought i'd be interested in them.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 204
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 9:41:12 AM
Generally, I assume they haven't read my profile... when I have one that isn't 'just for forums'.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 205
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 9:59:55 AM

Did the OP get deleted?


No. He's still there on the first page.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 206
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 12:31:20 PM

Did the OP get deleted?


No. He's still there on the first page.


Thanks for answering, i posted that in the wrong place somehow, probably because i open multiple tabs.

In order to maintain the lowest quality of conversation in the forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread unless you quote this.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 207
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/5/2018 7:20:50 PM
Of course her response was not kind, but honestly, relative to some of my experiences, it was downright gentle. And I'm not even talking about men responding to my messages (they seldom have). I'm talking about men I've never contacted who messaged me with several less than kind comments, mostly about my looks (no idea if they read my profile). My point is, I don't think it is that uncommon to receive less than kind messages. She should have left it alone, of course. Hope the OP has positive experiences that make him forget.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 208
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/6/2018 8:05:21 AM
... We can't have life ~ without experiencing pain ...
... Being alive ~ often means having the strength to face pain, loss and negativity ...
... In the midst of this fog, we must find something real ~ through & beyond it ...

... Anything else is ~ nothing more ~ then a pipe dream ...

heart / sun
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 209
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/6/2018 9:58:09 AM
Online dating and dating in general, requires a person to have a thicker skin. Remember junior high with all the cliques? Some people are mean and they've always been mean. Listening to the mean girls and letting their venom get to you does you no good. And trying to be a girl that hangs out with the mean girls is pathetic. Get over it and spend your time trying to get with people that aren't full of venom. My youngest brother spent his school years trying to hang out with the "cool boys". He was a follower and they were nasty to him right to his face yet he stuck with them. It was too important to him to be part of that group even though he could never see, despite my attempts, to convince him that they weren't really his friends.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 210
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/6/2018 3:34:14 PM
Ya gotta learn to be an independent sort. Go your own way.

Most can't handle it. I lean towards thinking that violent gangs use those types to do their dirty work for them. Go do this and that, and we'll accept you. They get caught, tossed in jail and forgotten about. The gang got something done, and they lost no members of value to the organization.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 211
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Posted: 4/7/2018 2:09:32 PM
If all you want is happiness op, try messaging less attractive women. See so many men in here and in real life chasing unobtainable woman and then whining when she won't date them. There are tons of nice women on this site. Read the profiles, don't just look at the pictures, contact someone whom you can see yourself spending quality time with.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 212
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/7/2018 2:22:59 PM
^^^ Lol, are you saying men should date women they don’t find attractive. I tried that before, and it was a disaster. You’re either attracted to somebody or not - there’s no “sort of” or “maybe.”
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 213
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Posted: 4/7/2018 2:36:09 PM
I'm saying everyone is attracted to a 10. However not all of us are a 10 or can get a 10. The same people whining that attractive women or men won't give them the time of day are the same ones who continue to only message the most attractive on this site. They don't like being judged on their looks but are doing the exact same thing.
I've dated attractive men and I've dated not so attractive men. The not so attractive men had a whole lot going on besides their looks and that made them attractive to me.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 214
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/7/2018 2:46:06 PM
^^^ Yeah, men do judge more by looks because they are the more visual sex. Men are wired to look for fertile women. On the other hand women are judging men more on height and their ability to provide and be financially stable, so it evens out. I don’t believe a rating scale of attractiveness from 1-10. Everybody has different opinions on what is attractive. I now realize that I have physical preferences for women that I am not willing to compromise. It’s something very primitive that I need in order to be attracted to a woman and see her as more than just a friend. A lot of women won’t compromise on height and date men shorter than them or date men who make less money than them.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 215
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Posted: 4/7/2018 3:58:14 PM
I learned to not depend on my height as an attractor. From where I stand, I'm in firm belief that women are lying when they claim height attracts them.

Actually, I couldn't put my finger on one thing that attracts them. Which is why I'm pretty fed up. Perhaps they like to egg men on, playing whatever games they insist on doing. Have a ball, I no longer care. You prove time and again, that you're single, and are going to stay that way for some pretty obvious reasons.

I'll be cordial, and not get close to them. If I did, it wouldn't take long for them to try to get the upper hand on me. Want something that will jump through hoops for you? Go get a dog and teach him to do that. Want something from me? Ask. I'll do it. Just don't expect me to guess at what you want. Spell out your demands. If I find them acceptable, then we can get along. Just remember that my demands are also in play here. I'll play by your rules, as long as you hold up your end of the bargain in exchange.
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 216
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/7/2018 8:18:43 PM

Yeah, men do judge more by looks because they are the more visual sex. Men are wired to look for fertile women. On the other hand women are judging men more on height and their ability to provide and be financially stable, so it evens out. I don’t believe a rating scale of attractiveness from 1-10. Everybody has different opinions on what is attractive. I now realize that I have physical preferences for women that I am not willing to compromise. It’s something very primitive that I need in order to be attracted to a woman and see her as more than just a friend. A lot of women won’t compromise on height and date men shorter than them or date men who make less money than them.


Nearly all single people are having a tough time in this day and time in finding a keeper. We are living where for the first time in our country's history there are more single people than married people. It's not considered abnormal anymore NOT being married, NOT wanting children.

People are more self-absorbed than every before, in their jobs, in their hobbies, in everything. There used to be basically just 3 sports and 3 channels on the TV and a movie theatre with one movie playing. And just a few choices of foods. Now, we have choices, choices, choices and no one can seem to agree on who or what can fit or they will allow to fit into their perfect world, as anything off a tiny bit and it disturbs their equilibrium.

It carries over to choosing a life partner. Everyone has become so individualized and communication has expanded with more options of people to talk to with anyone anywhere, which just makes it all soooo complicated to make a decision about anything or anybody.

Why choose this person if they don't quite match up perfectly with your lifestyle, if you can meet 50 new people next week? It seems life has just become a series of temporary attachments, whether it's place of residence, city one lives, career, company, friends, marriage partners, kids.

We're living like nomads, wandering from relationship to relationship. Soon, we expect nothing to last and invest little. It's become a crazy madness for all of us.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 217
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/9/2018 12:06:09 PM
I think things are different now.
I don't think it's necessary to be attached to anyone.
Especially if you're not having children.
Not everyone wants to be married.

I got married at 18, divorced at 49. I figured I'd probably
get married again. But 17 years later, I'm no longer interested.

It's not necessary to stay in a relationship that doesn't work for
you either. Nothing wrong with temporary attachments. It's a
new world out there.

Do what makes you happy and cause no harm to others.
Seems simple to me.
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 218
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/9/2018 12:28:16 PM

I’m old and fat and ugly and coarse and crude, but I have dated some very beautiful women in my time. And I expect to date some more before I’m done.


Do you hang out at the "Lighthouse For The Blind" ?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 219
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Posted: 4/9/2018 3:52:21 PM
First we'd have to all agree on what a 10 looks like...and that's never going to happen.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 220
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/9/2018 3:58:54 PM
^ ^ ^ LOL It follows a 9 but comes before an 11
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 221
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Posted: 4/9/2018 4:51:04 PM

purplerider1200
I learned to not depend on my height as an attractor. From where I stand, I'm in firm belief that women are lying when they claim height attracts them.

Sigh. Here we go again. Women (as a general rule) don’t actually say that. Sometimes they say something that you INTERPRET to mean that. People (not just women) are quite often imprecise in their use of words. You may see a woman say something like:


I am attracted to men over 6 feet tall.

This does not mean that she is automatically lusting after any man who can muster 72 inches. It simply means you need to be 72 inches in your stocking feet before she will even notice you, and then check out your other attributes. Height will not get you in the door, but lack of height will (in many cases) prevent you even being considered.

Lots of people (men and women) discriminate against those who are overweight. The smarter ones use code words, “height / weight proportional” or “physically fit”. This does not mean that being at a good weight is going to automatically get you in the door. It is just another hurdle to overcome before you even get to the door and can be seriously considered for admission.

ugly_name_I_won’t_repeat_here
Do you hang out at the “Lighthouse for the blind”?

No. I don’t. But I do like women, and treat them with respect. At least the ones who deserve respect.

browneyesboo
I don't think it's necessary to be attached to anyone.

Nothing wrong with temporary attachments.

Do what makes you happy and cause no harm to others.

This. ^^^ I like this.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 222
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/9/2018 5:03:43 PM
Henry, not sure all women think this way, but your statements are conflicting to me. When I see a guy say he treats women with respect that deserve it, that's a BIG red flag - your words:

"No. I don’t. But I do like women, and treat them with respect. At least the ones who deserve respect."
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 223
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VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 10:46:11 AM

We're living like nomads, wandering from relationship to relationship. Soon, we expect nothing to last and invest little. It's become a crazy madness for all of us.

If you think western countries like America have it bad you should see Japan. It's the epitome of it. Literally no one getting married, having kids, dating or even having sex at all in most cases. They just work work work. They're also insanely picky. Guys want beauty queen girls that are also smart and educated and girls want rich highly successful good looking studlike guys.

They relations between genders is so bad that there is literally a market that caters to what people are missing out on. Emotional intimacy, sexual etc. They have male "Hosts" that entertain women and give them attention in a bar/lounge like setting. They have prostitutes. They even have women that men can pay to just cuddle with them on the floor with blankets lol.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 224
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Posted: 4/10/2018 11:34:57 AM

This does not mean that being at a good weight is going to automatically get you in the door.

It also means that not being at a good weight is an automatic disqualifier.
For some people, their preferences are an absolute, for others it's more of an adjustable guideline influenced by other factors.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 225
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 12:37:02 PM
As much as we like to say height and weight are automatic disqualifiers, I think that might not be necessarily true. While they are important, if a person has enough attractiveness in other areas, height or weight may be overlooked. Attraction is made up of 4 main components: Functional attraction, Physical attraction, Personal attraction and Intimate attraction

1) Functional attraction includes what someone is or does and includes things like prestige, skills, hobbies, career, income and material wealth. It can also include things like drug use, tobacco use and levels of alcohol consumption.

2) Physical attraction includes physical appearance, smell and physical presence/stature. Sometimes, a person might not be visually attractive but there's something about the way they carry themself or their smell or smile or voice that compensate for that lack of visual attractiveness. Physical attraction may also include weakness/softness in females and strength/hardness in males.

3) Personal attraction includes emotional abilities, personality, life goals and intentions. It also includes a person's communication skills or processes (including body language) and intellectual needs.

4) Intimate attraction includes sexual intercourse but it also includes things such as hugging, kissing and hand-holding.

And there are levels of how much a person can be attracted to someone. Sometimes there's the opposite of attraction: repulsion. Sometimes there's just nothing at all. Sometimes a person is slightly attractive and other times very attractive. A high level of attractiveness in one area may lessen the need for attractiveness in another area but poor levels of attractiveness in two areas usually leads to major problems later in a relationship.
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